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sunshine16
01-26-2012, 03:33 PM
Wow, the utter ignorance of some people is just sad. A few weeks ago, another girl and I were talking about gay/lesbians (shes lesbian and was talking about her new girlfriend) and this newer girl chimes in "I thought people are only gay because of what they eat!" I let her know that um..people were ALWAYS gay..they just never talked about it. She was *shocked*

sierra.
01-29-2012, 02:29 AM
A girl in the dressing room, talking about why she prefers rock to rap...

With rock you can be sensual. With rap, it's all like (singing)'I can shake my ass, I'm shaking my ass! *shakes ass* Look at my pussy! *pulls down front of panties* I've got shoes! *lifts leg in the air*

Made me lol.

smeca
01-29-2012, 08:45 AM
Discussing a tv show about stripping with dancer 1
"It only focussed on the dresses and looking good, it made it look quite glamorous in the end!"

Dancer 2 lets out a lonnnng belch, third so far.

"Yeeeah they should have interviewed you!"

krystal.s
01-29-2012, 09:55 AM
While in the back room giving a dance the girl next to me tells her customer 'I'm from Argentina, you know by Lithuania'. I wasnt don't with my dance but had to leave, I comped my customer a dance once she left.

Nicc
01-30-2012, 08:56 AM
Stripper I " My pussy always smells funny after I have sex with my guy and he cums inside me." Said as she sniffs her undies.

Stripper II "Lemme smell." As she grabs the undies from stripper I.

Stripper II " Yeah you're right, it does smell funny."

Me thinking " what the frick" o.O

Jessie_tinydancer
01-30-2012, 11:26 AM
^ewwww pretty sure thats called BV

bklynbombshell
01-30-2012, 04:36 PM
^ Gag.

GlitterBexie
01-30-2012, 06:45 PM
Discussing a tv show about stripping with dancer 1
"It only focussed on the dresses and looking good, it made it look quite glamorous in the end!"

Dancer 2 lets out a lonnnng belch, third so far.

"Yeeeah they should have interviewed you!"

lol i watched this, we had at least 5 girls come in to have a look at the club on the strength of that programme. None of them have come back when theyve been sober though lol...one girl took her top off and tried to get on the stage.

No mention of house fee's, commision, fines etc i noticed, and you KNOW those house mums arnt really that nice 24/7!! Very bbc sugar coated, was nice to see us portrayed in a good way tho. End thread jack.


My friend was gluing her shoes together and accidentally stuck her finger to the floor the other week, the manager had to get a stanley knife and slowly cut the carpet away to free her. Was so funny, she had a fuzzy finger all night hehe, She has kindly allowed me permission to post this!

chanzep
01-30-2012, 10:57 PM
^ what was the programme called and what channel? pls wana see if I can find it online.

smeca
01-31-2012, 05:24 AM
chanzep, it was table dancing diaries, bbc3. i posted the link in industry insight i think

Addison
02-03-2012, 07:29 AM
"What the f*** is going on today?! This club is NOT BYOB!! You cannot Bring Your Own BITCH!!" --dancer ranting about the amount of female customers in the club.

_natasha
02-03-2012, 09:11 AM
No mention of house fee's, commision, fines etc i noticed, and you KNOW those house mums arnt really that nice 24/7!! Very bbc sugar coated, was nice to see us portrayed in a good way tho. End thread jack.


I sent it to a few people in my personal life... I thought it was quite good (if sugar coated as mentioned). I'm sure the house mums are a lot nastier in real life - but at the same time it was so nice to see a fairly mainstream programme where lapdancers aren't portrayed as drug addicted, desperate women.

Sophia_Starina
02-03-2012, 12:41 PM
"What the f*** is going on today?! This club is NOT BYOB!! You cannot Bring Your Own BITCH!!" --dancer ranting about the amount of female customers in the club.

Bwahahahahahahah! :rotfl:

SuperJa
02-04-2012, 07:38 PM
Me, after having a few too many drinks last night:

"It's all good, I don't have to worry about getting drunk cause if I'm messed I'll just walk home with Dancer A" (my little drinking buddy, who is also messed at this point) "I'll even take her for breakfast tomorrow morning"
Dancer A: "Omg do more shots, no guy ever takes me for breakfast. This is why girls become lesbians."

sexyscarlet
02-06-2012, 09:53 AM
The other night it was really slow, a Tuesday night at 7 or something, and we're all bored in the dressing room. There's a girl at our club who's a notorious drug addict and she had the balls to bring it up in front of us.

Coke girl: Have any of you guys ever tried crack? (looks around the room innocently)

(Me and another girl look at each other quickly in shock, then burst out laughing)

Everyone: Nooooo!

Coke girl: Oh, cause I heard it gives you such a better high than coke. I always wanted to try it. (looks at a friend of mine, Dancer 1) Don't you know some crack dealers?

Dancer 1: Uh, yeah. Do you want me to call them so they can bring you some? (totally sarcastically)

Coke girl: (looks sad) No, cause I can only afford 70 bucks for coke this week. Maybe next week though....

At this point every girl in there had a horrified look on their faces but I couldn't stop laughing. This girl was so fucked up.

glitzy
02-06-2012, 10:27 AM
Not so much overheard as just an awesome thing that happened... So everyone at work makes fun of me for eating healthy and knows how much i love fruits. Yesterday was my bday and when I walked into the dressing room the girls had a watermelon w "happy birthday charlie" scrawled across in sharpie and candles stuck in it! Lol

((bday song))
Baby stripper: how old are you now?
Me: 25! But stripper years are like dog years, so I'm actually about 40.
Baby stripper: I know...I'm turning 20 next month and I've been dancing almost two years. Doesn't se that long ago I just auditioned.
Cougar stripper: hell yah gurrlllll! Times FLIES when you're getting naked!

charlie61
02-06-2012, 08:55 PM
The other night it was really slow, a Tuesday night at 7 or something, and we're all bored in the dressing room. There's a girl at our club who's a notorious drug addict and she had the balls to bring it up in front of us.

Coke girl: Have any of you guys ever tried crack? (looks around the room innocently)

(Me and another girl look at each other quickly in shock, then burst out laughing)

Everyone: Nooooo!

Coke girl: Oh, cause I heard it gives you such a better high than coke. I always wanted to try it. (looks at a friend of mine, Dancer 1) Don't you know some crack dealers?

Dancer 1: Uh, yeah. Do you want me to call them so they can bring you some? (totally sarcastically)

Coke girl: (looks sad) No, cause I can only afford 70 bucks for coke this week. Maybe next week though....

At this point every girl in there had a horrified look on their faces but I couldn't stop laughing. This girl was so fucked up.

Sounds kinda sad. :(

Flickdreams
02-06-2012, 09:00 PM
the road to nowhere

Addison
02-09-2012, 07:13 AM
(Our manager was talking about how to increase CR sales)

Manager: "...and that will segue into (blah, blah, blah)..."
Housemom: "What does 'segue' mean?"
Manager: "It means to transition into something else."
Dancer: "ZIMBABWE!"
Manager: "...is a country in Africa."

omggg... I laughed so hard, I was crying. Maybe you had to be there, but it was hilarious.

Dddallas
02-11-2012, 01:32 AM
I don't understand this whole feeling better about giving money to a student as opposed to a non-student stripper. You make a lot more than you NEED to go to school as a stripper. You could work at McDonald's and get through school. Do they really think we HAVE to strip? Do they really think it makes them paying money to a stripper less dirty and more charitable? They don't GIVE it to us, they make us earn it with sex work and emotional work. I hate that they feel like they're somehow nicer or less perverted because the stripper just so happened to be a student.

Because its assumed that student strippers arnt druggies with a baby daddy/daddys. And let's be honest it can be true with many girls at most clubs.

SuperJa
02-12-2012, 01:44 PM
Because its assumed that student strippers arnt druggies with a baby daddy/daddys. And let's be honest it can be true with many girls at most clubs.

What about the student strippers with drug problems and baby daddies? I went to uni with a lot of girls with issues...

Otoki
02-13-2012, 12:51 AM
What about the student strippers with drug problems and baby daddies? I went to uni with a lot of girls with issues...
Bottom line: A lot of guys want to think that their money is going to help the girl get somewhere "better" in life. School is a very concrete "improvement" in a person's life in that education can be very useful. There is also the implication that a student is juggling a lot of shit in their lives.

Honestly, it seems like girls who have kids can get customers who enjoy helping them out, as well, because taking care of kids is a concrete responsibility.

I think most guys just want to avoid feeling like they wasted their money on some girl's designer purse habit.

anouk.oui
02-13-2012, 01:59 AM
its not hard to just say/pretend to be a student


ever since i started this course i had to move back home and paying three times my rent in course supplies and materials every week if not more

just sayin'

Luna123
02-17-2012, 08:55 AM
Bottom line: A lot of guys want to think that their money is going to help the girl get somewhere "better" in life. School is a very concrete "improvement" in a person's life in that education can be very useful. There is also the implication that a student is juggling a lot of shit in their lives.

Honestly, it seems like girls who have kids can get customers who enjoy helping them out, as well, because taking care of kids is a concrete responsibility.

I think most guys just want to avoid feeling like they wasted their money on some girl's designer purse habit.

I hate that customers seem to have this presumption that we all fit neatly into one of these boxes- either a dancer is an intelligent college student who's "going places," a drug addict with 10 kids by 10 different guys, or some spoiled wasteful fool with a designer purse habit.* It's like anything outside of these choices blows their fucking minds.

I'm 27, child-less (with no intention of having kids), unmarried, not in college, and live very frugally. I'm just a normal person living my life and providing for myself, just like anyone at any other job, but somehow being a sex worker means that the rest of my life choices and circumstances should be scrutinized?

*(let's not forget that there are some dumb, ignorant, direction-less college students out there; that someone who has lotsa kids with lotsa other people may not be makin the best choices but that doesn't make them evil; and it shouldn't be the concern or prerogative of a SC customer to validate a dancer's personal consumer spending habits, no matter how frivolous they might seem [and hello, is spending money on designer bags and clothes any more dumb than spending it on strippers and booze?] )

K sorry to derail the topic. Back to the funny...

tuesdaymarie
02-18-2012, 08:23 PM
Stripper: "That asshole out there? I left his table. He wasn't spendin' no money!"
Waitress: "The guy who bought drinks a while ago?"
S: "He didn't buy no drinks! He made me buy them! So I was like, 'You gotta get me some cigarettes then if I'm gonna buy these drinks.' And that motherfucker didn't buy me no cigarettes!"
W: "He made YOU buy your drinks?"
S: "Yeah, he's a cheap motherfucker! And he didn't even have no cigarettes in that pack on the table. And he was like, 'I'm a biker.' And I was like, 'Yeah, well, I'm a biker bitch!' And I left!"

***

Stripper 1: "All I'm sayin' is every stripper has her choices to make."
Stripper 2: "Well I don't whore but if I was a whore I'd just tell my loved ones, 'Hey I'm a whore and you have to love me or leave me.' None of that savin' me from myself bullshit, I do what I want."

***

S1: "I used to see this one guy and I was like, 'Baby, you don't need to buy this! What's wrong with you?' He was tall, handsome, huge cock--I woulda fucked him for free and I told him 'I would have, but now you know I'm just a trick, so it ain't gonna work.'"
S2: "Yeah, now you just a trick to him, he can't respect that. I hated putting up with that shit and weird men coming to my house--too much weird shit. I was just like, 'Fuck this, I'ma just be a stripper!'"

***
S1: "Maybe you just smoked too much."
S2: "Yeah, if you smoke a lot and don't eat, you'll start to feel sick."
S3: "I don't know what it is..."
S2: "Maybe you're pregnant. Your body is supposed to reject shit that's bad for you when you're pregnant."
S1: "Yeah, your body does all sorts of weird shit when you're pregnant. I don't know how my mom smoked the entire time she was with me. And I had the umbilical cord wrapped around me twice and have had asthma all my life and shit."
S3: "Nah, I know what being pregnant feels like and it's not like this. I mean, I didn't have that baby or nothin' but I remember what it feels like to be pregnant."
^^^While one of them was snorting coke on a toilet seat.

SuperJa
02-23-2012, 02:12 PM
Stripper 1: "All I'm sayin' is every stripper has her choices to make."
Stripper 2: "Well I don't whore but if I was a whore I'd just tell my loved ones, 'Hey I'm a whore and you have to love me or leave me.' None of that savin' me from myself bullshit, I do what I want."


This reminded me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLPM-P7mNQw&feature=related

Carrying on:

"I need some tape!"
"Scotch, duct, or bondage?"

****
S1: "Hey have you talked to your ex at all recently?"
Me: "Naw, he's not returning my texts..."
S1: "OMG so you're not gonna get your strapon back??? That sucks so bad!"
****
Fucked up dancer, totally naked except for boots and black wings.
"I'm a crow, bitches! CAW! CAW!" *runs out onto stage to continue cawing*

****
Same dancer later on decides I'm her mom, despite me being like half her age.
FUD: "Mommy! I wanna go home can we go home!"
Waitress: "The new bitch has had her last two customers for an hour each! Butterface must be fucking them or something!"
FUD: "Fucking whore!"
Me: "Well you sure grew up fast."
*******

Dancer: "Oh God I was so fucked up this one time and I rear-ended this guy but I did a u-turn and he didn't catch me."
Me: "um maybe don't drive messed... that's so illegal you know."
D: "It's okay it was just a black...Honda Civic."
Me: "Oh god i thought you were going to say person..."

****

Not in the dressing room, but on the floor:

Customer 1: "I need you to explain whether length or girth is more important."
Me: "I'm gonna go with girth... to a point."
Customer 1: "Thank god!"
Customer 2: "Yeah that guy's like a shittake mushroom. It's just all head."
Me: "Uhhh..."
Customer 2: "And me, I'm like, thank god for asians, they're bringing the average down. So I'm average!"

So Fine Divyne
02-25-2012, 02:59 PM
I told a girl next to me that she had a booger in her nose. She asked if it was a small one or big one. I said medium. She got it out and then informs me it's not a booger. It was coke stuck in her nose since she did a shitload of coke before she came in. Like it was no big deal. I work at a new club and my new coworkers don't really impress me much.

*Jade*Love
02-26-2012, 10:32 PM
I'm near-sighted and have glasses, but I usually try to just get away with wearing them at night and at work. My friend is always trying to get me to take them off at work, so we're getting ready and she goes "Come on, I think you should just freelance it tonight.". I look at her say "huh?" and she goes "Freelance it babe, take your glasses off and just be free." LOL wtf

Another from last night, but it came out of a customer's mouth. I'm in the half hour room with three guys and two other dancers, one of the girls tells the guy she's dancing for that she's from Salem, Oregon and he yells "That's where the witches are!!!". And his friend goes "No man, that's in Massachusetts.." Haha :)

Jessie_tinydancer
02-27-2012, 11:18 AM
^ lol I've heard of saying "freestyle" as in..make it up as you go along but "freelance?" lol not the sharpest tool in the shed I'm guessing.

GlitterBexie
02-27-2012, 03:28 PM
I'm near-sighted and have glasses, but I usually try to just get away with wearing them at night and at work. My friend is always trying to get me to take them off at work, so we're getting ready and she goes "Come on, I think you should just freelance it tonight.". I look at her say "huh?" and she goes "Freelance it babe, take your glasses off and just be free." LOL wtf


I dont like wearing my glasses at work, my false eyelashes get in the way of the lenses and im clumsy as balls and theyve falled off during a lappy and ive stood on them before, but mostly cause i like living in soft focus with blurry bits, it makes customers seem less ugly and gross.

Natalllia
02-27-2012, 04:33 PM
This reminded me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLPM-P7mNQw&feature=related

LOL! I read it in my head the exact same way.

"I do what I want! I run with like 12 gangs! I do what I want!"
Hahahaha




I'm near-sighted and have glasses, but I usually try to just get away with wearing them at night and at work. My friend is always trying to get me to take them off at work, so we're getting ready and she goes "Come on, I think you should just freelance it tonight.". I look at her say "huh?" and she goes "Freelance it babe, take your glasses off and just be free." LOL wtf

http://i1112.photobucket.com/albums/k487/djienneaux/wordmeans.jpg

DaniDoll
02-28-2012, 12:22 AM
Drunk straight girl says to known bi or lesbian(not sure) in our club: "You willll be mine one day."

Out of nowhere hahah it was so cute

sierra.
02-28-2012, 04:28 AM
Fucked up dancer, totally naked except for boots and black wings.
"I'm a crow, bitches! CAW! CAW!" *runs out onto stage to continue cawing*


omg that is hilarious.

SuperJa
02-28-2012, 02:17 PM
Drunk straight girl says to known bi or lesbian(not sure) in our club: "You willll be mine one day."

Out of nowhere hahah it was so cute


I did this the other night. Me and my table-mate were talking after a forty and I'm like "Why are we not lesbians?"
Her response: "You like dick too much."

Miss_McKenna
02-29-2012, 06:45 PM
Beginning of the night from a chick that is strung out on a variety of drugs, although we can't figure out which ones:

'I decided from now on I'm only doing massages, no dances. Except for my stage sets, coz the manager said I can't be a massage girl or skip stage. My spiritual power said I was only allowed to do (free) massages from now on, to humble myself"

But I guess that wasn't covering her crack expenses, because at the end of the night it was:

"I'm back to grabbing cocks :( "

smeca
03-03-2012, 06:33 AM
Another dancer's phone rings. Some woman is asking if this is Chardonnay, she says yes before wondering how this person knows her stage name. Turns out it's the girlfriend of one of her customers wondering why he has a 'Chardonnay' number in his phone! Good hearted soul that she is, she thought fast and said she was a hairdresser and it's just a work phone.

(Name changed of course- she might not have believed there was a real Chardonnay lol)

smeca
03-14-2012, 05:43 PM
Manager: so what shifts do you want?
Girl1: None. He says it's job or relationship.
manager gets other girls shifts
Girl1 pipes up out of nowhere: actually put me down for all week!

Was nice to see in those minutes she chose what she wanted.

GlitterBexie
03-14-2012, 06:34 PM
This came from one of the nicest, sweetest girls ive met.

"He phoned me and dumped me cause he said i'd given him genital herpes and that i was a slut, then three days later rings me again seeing if i want to get back together cause he's been to the doctor and it turned out to be an ingrown hair from shaving his balls! I said to him 'Sweetie, you should wax if you want a hairless scrotum, but yeah, go fuck yourself, thanks, bye!"

zivlet
03-14-2012, 06:42 PM
Me (Having a giggle) 'So you thought babies grew in your stomach?! How do you think they got out? Do you think you can get only get pregnant by somebody shagging you up the arse?!'
Girl 'Can you?! Can you get pregnant from being shagged up the arse?!' (Serious).
Me 'Yeh!! The baby grows in your intestine!'

Me 'Grr I've still got this stupid water infection!'
Girl 'Put some thrush cream on it.'

GlitterBexie
03-14-2012, 08:12 PM
^^^ yay another UK member! And Preston too! My home town is Manchester, Sugarmouse! And ive visited preston on many an occasion! //end threadjack.

SuperJa
03-15-2012, 12:13 PM
Behind the bar, one of the staff is bent over reattaching a line to the pop machine after changing a canister:

Dancer 1: So I was talking to this little kid today, and he tells me, 'I know how babies are made!" and I'm like, "o rly? how?" and he says, "You go bum to bum, and then you make a baby!"
*bends over and shoves ass against bent over guy*
D1: We're making a baby! You're carrying it though cause I don't wanna wreck my perfect body!
Guy: Fuck yes, I'm a seahorse!

kitinboots
03-16-2012, 10:46 AM
dancer 1: My nipples are really dry today, I need to moisturize.
dancer 2: My lips are too
D1: How about I put cream on my nipples and you rub it in with your mouth?

This then happened. And photos were taken.

Pottymouth101
03-16-2012, 02:01 PM
Once I was in the bathroom at a club I used to work. I was in the stall tending to my own buisness when two other dancers walked in. I was 'the new girl' and they were the meanest bitches there. So I kept quiet in the stall. One of them had a little problem with here sphincter. Thats the word she used. At that point I had no idea what that was, but then I kept listening. She said she had trouble keeping her shit in cuz she was doing "too much butt fucking". And the other one said "Girl please stick a plug in that thing and keep it pushin!" HaHa I almost blew my cover.

lifetravelergirl
03-17-2012, 01:40 PM
Behind the bar, one of the staff is bent over reattaching a line to the pop machine after changing a canister:

Dancer 1: So I was talking to this little kid today, and he tells me, 'I know how babies are made!" and I'm like, "o rly? how?" and he says, "You go bum to bum, and then you make a baby!"
*bends over and shoves ass against bent over guy*
D1: We're making a baby! You're carrying it though cause I don't wanna wreck my perfect body!
Guy: Fuck yes, I'm a seahorse!

I don't know what that means exactly but it made me laugh

GlitterBexie
03-17-2012, 10:05 PM
I don't know what that means exactly but it made me laugh

Coz boy seahorses carry the babies, not the lady seahorses :D xx

Timor
03-18-2012, 08:29 AM
I don't know how the conversation got going, but last night in the DR we somehow came to the conclusion that I'm the "glowstick stripper" because I'm the only one that isn't tan.

Caramel Delight
03-18-2012, 11:39 AM
This thread is too funny!!

Su Su
03-19-2012, 12:32 AM
"I would rather have a dick in me right now than be here".

Skydancer48163264128256
03-19-2012, 05:39 PM
^That's exactly how I feel sometimes.

SuperJa
03-20-2012, 12:02 PM
Went inline skating the other day, wiped out pretty bad and tore up my knees.

Dancer spots my knees:

"SHIT GIRL, TONE DOWN THE SEX! Doesn't he let you kneel on a pillow or something???"