View Full Version : Overheard in the Dressing Room
rareaspasia
03-22-2012, 09:37 AM
21-year-old : "Damn, I can't wait for the rest of my teeth to fall out so I can get dentures."
On another night I walked into the room to two girls freaking out.
"She blew boogers in my mouth!!!"
Apparently girl A had hiccups so girl B tried to cure them by blowing air into her nose and girl A accidentally exhaled while girl B was blowing the air. I've never heard of this before but the aftermath was pretty damn funny. Especially since girl B probably got high off the boogers since girl A is a notorious pill head.
And my favorite lately was a girl who had just been suspended for a month saying the typical incredibly drunk stripper who's screwed up and been suspended crap:
"Fuck this club! I'm one of the best dancers here! I'll go to (other club), I'm too good for this place anyway!" Then she threw up all over her bag.
They keep it classy in Cocoa Beach. lol.
GlamourRouge
03-22-2012, 10:58 AM
21-year-old : "Damn, I can't wait for the rest of my teeth to fall out so I can get dentures."
On another night I walked into the room to two girls freaking out.
"She blew boogers in my mouth!!!"
Apparently girl A had hiccups so girl B tried to cure them by blowing air into her nose and girl A accidentally exhaled while girl B was blowing the air. I've never heard of this before but the aftermath was pretty damn funny. Especially since girl B probably got high off the boogers since girl A is a notorious pill head.
And my favorite lately was a girl who had just been suspended for a month saying the typical incredibly drunk stripper who's screwed up and been suspended crap:
"Fuck this club! I'm one of the best dancers here! I'll go to (other club), I'm too good for this place anyway!" Then she threw up all over her bag.
They keep it classy in Cocoa Beach. lol.
To cure hiccups, all you have to do is hold your breath and swallow 5 times. Works like a charm ;)
Aslinn
03-22-2012, 06:29 PM
21-year-old : "Damn, I can't wait for the rest of my teeth to fall out so I can get dentures."
On another night I walked into the room to two girls freaking out.
"She blew boogers in my mouth!!!"
Apparently girl A had hiccups so girl B tried to cure them by blowing air into her nose and girl A accidentally exhaled while girl B was blowing the air. I've never heard of this before but the aftermath was pretty damn funny. Especially since girl B probably got high off the boogers since girl A is a notorious pill head.
And my favorite lately was a girl who had just been suspended for a month saying the typical incredibly drunk stripper who's screwed up and been suspended crap:
"Fuck this club! I'm one of the best dancers here! I'll go to (other club), I'm too good for this place anyway!" Then she threw up all over her bag.
They keep it classy in Cocoa Beach. lol.
the first quote, omg I had a friend who was like that because she didn't have dental care.
rareaspasia
03-22-2012, 10:57 PM
the first quote, omg I had a friend who was like that because she didn't have dental care.
I know a LOT of dancers with really bad teeth. That particular quote was funny because it's so extreme but it really is kind of sad. Some of them I really feel bad for because it's not their fault, their parents never took them to the dentist or taught them how to floss and they now have such bad teeth that it will cost them a ridiculous amount of money to get them fixed. Most of these girls are really damn young, too, like 23 and younger. I haven't been to the dentist as often as I ought to have been but I was lucky to have a family that took me to get regular cleanings and paid for braces and I stay on top of brushing and flossing and I've never had a cavity.
GlitterBexie
03-23-2012, 12:34 PM
Not strictly dressing room, but funny story on the club floor...
New(ish) dancer selling table dances, asks the bouncer whats the cost/rules etc,
He tells her table dances are £10, but that she knows she has to keep one leg on the table throughout the dance right? Which is a massive lie.
Bless her, she goes back to the customer, moves everything off the table and then starts dancing with one leg balanced on the shaky glass table while the bouncer pisses himself laughing. Eventually one of the girls goes over and tells her he was fibbing and "table dance" is not meant literally.
Allice
03-23-2012, 01:44 PM
Not strictly dressing room, but funny story on the club floor...
New(ish) dancer selling table dances, asks the bouncer whats the cost/rules etc,
He tells her table dances are £10, but that she knows she has to keep one leg on the table throughout the dance right? Which is a massive lie.
Bless her, she goes back to the customer, moves everything off the table and then starts dancing with one leg balanced on the shaky glass table while the bouncer pisses himself laughing. Eventually one of the girls goes over and tells her he was fibbing and "table dance" is not meant literally.
Oh. My. Lord.
Once heard:
Dancer: "So he was sucking on my tit, and suddenly was like wtf?! He was flossing with a big long nipple hair, haha!"
Quietly..."I'm not a nice lady."
Dancer I: "Ooohh did you order buffalo wings?'
Dancer II: "Yeah and they're 'delish'"
Dancer I: "Ooh I want one!! I haven't had buffalo since I was a kid"
Dancer II: "I think these buffalo wings are made with chicken... But it is the sauce that is made with buffalo!"
Me: (face-palm)
Pottymouth101
04-11-2012, 08:36 AM
Dancer I: "Ooohh did you order buffalo wings?'
Dancer II: "Yeah and they're 'delish'"
Dancer I: "Ooh I want one!! I haven't had buffalo since I was a kid"
Dancer II: "I think these buffalo wings are made with chicken... But it is the sauce that is made with buffalo!"
Me: (face-palm)
My God thats funny! Girls that dumb just make me wanna squeeze em and hug em like little puppies.
anouk.oui
04-17-2012, 08:21 AM
*dancer talkin to bouncers about some rapper she saw at a festival recently*
'nah nah i swear tre is gay. like i saw him in a gstring gay. he tries to rap, but sings all this gay shit like when i give you my heart..........can i have my heart back.........like, do you want your balls back with that too??'
*me dying laughter dancer looks at me and keeps talking*
'like seriously, forget your heart, sunshine, worry about getting your balls......'
rareaspasia
04-20-2012, 02:12 AM
"My boyfriend just shit a whole bunch of blood. Is that bad?"
The girl who said this is super sweet but she's just... REALLY young and sort of naive.
Susan-Va
04-20-2012, 10:46 PM
This is not overheard but a text I got from one of the dancers, I'm the dance manager at my club and have to do the scheduling and fill shifts for girls.
"I need you to fill my shifts for Friday and Saturday, I'll be in jail."
Flickdreams
04-20-2012, 10:54 PM
@Susan-Va Oh Dear!
Susan-Va
04-21-2012, 08:46 PM
Sometimes I love my job, got a call fdrom a girl about working: "Is there anyway I can work tonight? I'm behind on my child support."
anouk.oui
05-05-2012, 03:10 AM
dancer #1: i went to the mind body spirit expo today where a fortune teller told me i used to be a gypsy in my past life, travel around and communicate with animals in their language.
me: i talk to animals! i babytalk to my cat every night!
dancer #2: i talk to animals everytime im at this club
dancer #1: yeah i think we all do that
me: we're all animal communicators!
*collective chuckle*
SuperJa
05-08-2012, 06:02 PM
*dancer lets out massive fart*
"oops, talking out my ass again..."
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"I like to put all my empties on [dancer 1]'s side of the table so everybody thinks she's a huge alcoholic."
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"I knew we were gonna be best friends when I got drunk the first night you were working."
"Yup, I cleaned up your puke. And you only clean up somebody's puke if you love them."
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"You must have had a good night last night."
"Nope it sucked, why?"
"you seemed super bubbly..."
"Oh I just drank a lot."
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"I'm not a lesbian! She just has really soft lips and won't stop kissing me!"
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"I don't really 'get' anal. I mean, it is a butt."
"You have to think like a guy. It is a hole, therefore, I must stick my penis in it."
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Not in the dressing room, but on the floor:
"Is that a real tattoo?" ALL THE DAMN TIME.
No, I draw on a full leg sleeve in eyeliner every night.
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SuperJa
06-09-2012, 01:28 PM
"Guys always give me a hard time about using my real name and I'm like wtf... If I'm walking down the street with my friends, and some dude is like 'o hey [real name]', I can claim I met him anywhere. If he comes up and is like 'HAI SPARKLES GLITTERCROTCH!!!!' then it's all like, oshit, everybody knows where you're working now..."
"I am totally changing my name to Sparkles Glittercrotch."
------------------------------
Drunk dancer grinding on the waitress:
"STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME I HAVENT HAD SEX IN SO LONG!!!"
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Dancer spills white foundation on her table, gets baby powder everywhere from inside her boots...
"God I wish I made enough money to dump coke everywhere like that..."
-------------------------------
Female customer:
"Hey you don't seem drunk."
"no, I don't drink when I'm working, I drive."
"If I worked here I would have to be drunk all the time, how do you do it???"
"Um, that's probably why you don't work here?"
caitlin1214
06-09-2012, 08:19 PM
I'm near-sighted and have glasses, but I usually try to just get away with wearing them at night and at work. My friend is always trying to get me to take them off at work, so we're getting ready and she goes "Come on, I think you should just freelance it tonight.". I look at her say "huh?" and she goes "Freelance it babe, take your glasses off and just be free." LOL wtf
Was she trying to say "Free lens"?
mia_fey
06-10-2012, 06:58 AM
Somewhere in Anytown, USA, at some point in time, there probably was a dancer with the name of Sparkles Glittercrotch. I salute her lol.
smeca
06-17-2012, 07:44 AM
"have you started to think that all men are dicks, yet?"
"...well, my boyfriend isn't, he's amazing..."
"oh yeah so is mine. ok all men except our boyfriends."
:D
bklynbombshell
06-19-2012, 03:37 PM
LMFAO @ "STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME I HAVENT HAD SEX IN SO LONG!!!"
Totally something my drunk ass would say, grinding and all.
Cocotte
06-26-2012, 11:11 PM
Second night of stripping, ever. This place was a dive!
7 month Pregnant dancer says "I can't wait to have this baby so I can get back to doing coke!"
I'm at a NICE club, now, thank goodness.
Twinkle Toes
06-27-2012, 06:56 AM
Well at least she actually stopped! A girl at my club didn't!! She kept doing coke for a long time into her pregnancy. Thankfully she was fired.
SuperJa
06-27-2012, 02:29 PM
Dancer 1: "I always forget whether we serve Pepsi or Coke here."
Me: "It's Pepsi. Kinda odd, cause when you think of strip club, you think coke..."
**********************
For some reason, a conversation about guys working out their dicks happened....
Dancer 1: "I totally don't get the point of that."
Me: "Okay, if I'm at a bar and a guy sits down and is like, 'hey, I can pull a bus with my cock', I'd be like, 'you me now'."
Dancer 1: "Is that how (boyfriend) picked you up?"
Manager: "No he grated a bunch of parmesan across his abs."
Dancer 1: "Srsly?"
Me: "No, it was feta."
**********************
There is only one guy in the bar, sitting by himself.
Dancer 1: "I think there's something seriously wrong with that guy?"
Me: "Idk I got up and left when he asked if I had any venereal diseases..."
D1: "Really??? He only told me about his..."
Me: "I guess he's trying to collect them all? 'No thanks, I already got the herp, trying to get syphilis now...' "
littlecydel
06-27-2012, 11:41 PM
Overheard as I was getting ready in the dressing room...
"I've never had a surgery unless you count an abortion."
"Yeah, that counts as surgery."
"Really? Then I've had 9 surgeries."
smeca
06-28-2012, 12:28 AM
^
D:
Dorien
06-30-2012, 05:29 PM
I'll try and make this short:
I walked into the DR last night. The manager, 2 of our huge Russian security guards a bunch of girls that seemed to be on opposite sides of the room. My bag had been thrust on the floor. I asked randomly what it was doing there and tall, Blondish dancer says, "Sorry about your bag. There was a fight and it got knocked over". I asked about the fight and before I could finish my question, tall blond dancer yells: "There are way too many of these bitches here anyway. Why don't they all just get in a bus and go back to Mexico where they came from"?!
First of all, this club is mostly a Latin clientele that speaks English as a second language....maybe. 80% of the dancers there speak English as a second language. We need these girls. Secondly, that was a piece of shit RACIST thing to say! Then I saw the fairly deep, oozing scratches on her huge implants. I could barely see the other dancer. But she was half of Blondie's size, not nearly as in good shape and in tears. I heard she got cold cocked, but couldn't see. Lastly, a lot of those Latinas are from other countries besides Mexico. How damned ignorant!
More accusations, yelling blah, blah. The most surrealistic thing was: to the left of the DR, was the Latin girl, surrounded by other Latinas. To the right of me, was Blondie and the few white, Asian and Black dancer. I was right in the middle, trying to go home: British/Spanish but raised in the states. Felt like I was being torn in half.
(Sorry to blab on,Blondie saying that the bulk of the dancers that bring in our clientele have no right to reside in the states was really...wrong).
Dorien
06-30-2012, 05:44 PM
I'll try and make this short:
I walked into the DR last night. The manager, 2 of our huge Russian security guards a bunch of girls that seemed to be on opposite sides of the room. My bag had been thrust on the floor. I asked randomly what it was doing there and tall, Blondish dancer says, "Sorry about your bag. There was a fight and it got knocked over". I asked about the fight and before I could finish my question, tall blond dancer yells: "There are way too many of these bitches here anyway. Why don't they all just get in a bus and go back to Mexico where they came from"?!
First of all, this club is mostly a Latin clientele that speaks English as a second language....maybe. 80% of the dancers there speak English as a second language. We need these girls. Secondly, that was a piece of shit RACIST thing to say! Then I saw the fairly deep, oozing scratches on her huge implants. I could barely see the other dancer. But she was half of Blondie's size, not nearly as in good shape and in tears. I heard she got cold cocked, but couldn't see. Lastly, a lot of those Latinas are from other countries besides Mexico. How damned ignorant!
More accusations, yelling blah, blah. The most surrealistic thing was: to the left of the DR, was the Latin girl, surrounded by other Latinas. To the right of me, was Blondie and the few white, Asian and Black dancer. I was right in the middle, trying to go home: British/Spanish but raised in the states. Felt like I was being torn in half.
(Sorry to blab on,Blondie saying that the bulk of the dancers that bring in our clientele have no right to reside in the states was really...wrong).
Harlequin_Phoenix
07-02-2012, 09:44 PM
I'm sitting in the room next to the dressing room and I hear house bro (like mom) say, "Bend over. Bend over!" (smacking noise) "Dirty little kitten!"
HandSanitizer
07-02-2012, 11:50 PM
I overheard a girl tell everyone in the dressing room that she farted on a customer during a lap dance. *gross*
HandSanitizer
07-06-2012, 04:49 AM
*sigh*
I just heard some girl in the locker room tell another girl that she let some guy lick her butt hole for 2 songs... Not appropriate at a strip club.
SuperJa
07-06-2012, 06:44 PM
I overheard a girl tell everyone in the dressing room that she farted on a customer during a lap dance. *gross*
Bahahaha we just had a chat about this the other night. One of the girls was dancing and had bad gas, and ended up letting one rip in between songs. Oops.
rareaspasia
07-24-2012, 07:45 AM
Girl, after having us react in horror that she was sitting completely butt ass naked on the filthy floor.
"Bitches, my pussy is like Iron Man, you don't know the shit I've put this thing through."
A few nights ago a girl was complaining that she felt really bloated because she was on her period, and this crazy drunk ass ghetto fabulous chick goes:
"Girl, you need to take you a nice big shit. Get you some cheap ass coke. That'll have you pissing out your asshole in no time. Clear you right up. Hey, I want some damn nachos. Anybody got any nachos?" Like someone was going to reach into her locker and pull out a plate of nachos? I laughed my ass off.
New girl was bragging about how well she did (she thought 300 was mindblowingly awesome) and our resident uber bitch goes, "That's because you were letting guys play with your pussy all night. We all watched you do it. You got called into the back three times by management. I can't believe they didn't fire you, you nasty bitch. I'm going to change your stage name. You're not Princess Fairybutt (or whatever her stupid name was). We're going to call you Fingerbang from now on." And we did. Up until they finally fired her for sucking dick a week later.
Joanna_Kaary
07-24-2012, 07:16 PM
"Will taking prenatal vitamins make you get pregnant?"
Nicole_oh
07-25-2012, 05:33 PM
I overheard a girl tell everyone in the dressing room that she farted on a customer during a lap dance. *gross*
A few weeks ago we had a strange man come in and he paid a girl to fart in his face, like he had his face smooshed against that booty waiting for it when she asked him to back u he said no he didn't want t mkss the smell... eww. He must of paid her well because she said it was so gross but she did it anyways then joked saying it was good she didn't eat any Mexican that night lol
Joanna_Kaary
07-25-2012, 10:22 PM
"My last baby daddy liked breast milk." *continues to pump breasts* "See, this is helping me sober up because all the alcohol's coming out in the milk."
Joanna_Kaary
07-25-2012, 10:27 PM
Overheard this between a manager and a girl in his office earlier this week: Manager - "Mercedes you CANNOT keep doing those things in dances." Mercedes - "But I wasn't doing anything bad... I was only giving handjobs." You LITERALLY cannot make this shit up.
That reminds me of when a manager at my old club saw a girl having sex RAW in the back room for like $200.
Manager: "Why didn't you at least use a condom??"
Girl: "Because he seemed like a very nice man!"
SuperJa
07-26-2012, 10:08 AM
Me: Oh God my lymph nodes are all swollen and I'm sore all over...
Dancer: Maybe you have the flu?
Me: With the amount of germs in this building and the cash I'm touching I probably have some weird foreign disease. Nice knowing you all.
---------------------------------------------
"Your boyfriend is the shit. I love that guy. Too bad about him not satisfying you though."
----------------------------------------
"I normally hate it when guys wear suits to the club. I mean, it's like 2am, where did you come from wearing a suit? But I just danced for this guy in a suit named Wellington. I'm pretty sure if your name is Wellington, you're legally not allowed to wear blue jeans and t-shirts and shit."
----------------------------
Dancer: "I'm sorry. I feel awful for puking on the lawn."
Manager: "It's okay, that's what it's for."
Joanna_Kaary
07-26-2012, 06:42 PM
*while pumping breasts* "Last nite my boyfriend came looking for me, but they wouldn't let him in cause he was wearing a white tee and basketball shorts and holding the baby."
SuperJa
07-29-2012, 06:08 PM
"So I was dancing for this guy and he was getting all handsy, and I'm like, 'you can't do that'. He says, 'why, you gonna tell your bouncer?' I said, 'No, I'm gonna rip my fucking tampon out and wipe it down your fucking shirt'. He sat on his hands after that."
Joanna_Kaary
08-11-2012, 06:07 PM
"We're getting rid of the fleas in our house tomorrow." I immediately put all my clothes in my locker and locked it... if I had fleas/bedbugs I would stay home until they were gone to prevent other people from catching them and I definitely wouldn't want everyone knowing! And to think the whole time I saw the girl scratching herself obsessively I thought it was just the heroine!
SuperJa
09-14-2012, 09:43 AM
Conversation about escorts occurs:
Girl asks how anyone could sell sex
Another dancer replies: "It's not really selling sex. What's being sold is the leaving after."
^^I usually hear that from the guys, not girls.
LilyXO
09-16-2012, 04:45 PM
The costume lady took a mini-vacation, and was finally back last night with tons of awesome stuff. Woo! Lots of us had been waiting for her so after our dances we bee-lined it to the DR and were mostly like this:
31746
Thank god she got the Futurama reference LOL! ;D
smeca
09-25-2012, 11:41 PM
Don't hedgehogs have feet?
LilyXO
10-06-2012, 12:30 PM
Haha here's another one! Last night in the DR, getting ready to leave:
Dancer A: *confused look* "Who the hell are you?"
Me (in my regular clothes): "It's me!" *takes off glasses*
Dancer A: *shocked* "Oh shit, sorry girl, I didn't mean to be rude." *super serious look* "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."
Addison
10-06-2012, 03:12 PM
Dancer A: I'm a rapper by day and a stripper by night. (goes on into detail on her rap career)
Dancer B: So, what, do you go into the booth and be like, "I make it RAIN on MYSELF!!" lol
Joanna_Kaary
10-06-2012, 05:58 PM
"I should have never had unprotected sex."
EbonyEyes
10-07-2012, 07:38 AM
As a few of the other dancer and I have a conversation about salad tossing another dancer walks in on her phone...
"Hello, I was calling because there is something wrong with my vagina. If you'd give me a call back I'd appreciate it"
my face 0_0
SuperJa
10-09-2012, 04:52 PM
"That relationship was pretty much like, 'so long, and thanks for all the stds' "
-------------
Dumb drunk dancer: "I'm SO BOOOOORRRRED"
Me: "Swim to the other side of the bowl."
-----------------
Same dumb drunk dancer, after one of the girls commenting on how she loses her purse at least once a week. (Her response, NO I DON'T)
DDD: "I CAN'T FIND MY PUUURRRSE... Somebody help me look omg"
*silence*
DDD: "WHY DOES NOBODY CARE????"
*After several minutes of similar comments*
Waitress: "Because nobody else ever loses their shit!!! Maybe if you didn't fucking flail it everywhere all the time you wouldn't have this problem!"
*DDD realizes it is sitting on her table*
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"For my 1 year anniversary here, are you going to get totally shitfaced again so I can rub your back while you puke like I did on my first night working?"
"I actually don't remember that."
"Nope, no, you wouldn't."
----------------------
"I really think she's just too fat and flaily to do stage. She looks like a potato with legs."
--------------
"I just got booty called!"
"Tell that drunk motherfucker to fuck off."
"Fuck that, I'm getting laaaaiiid."
-----------------------
"Is it true you puked on [bouncer] at the Christmas party last year?"
"Yeah. Twice."
-------------------------
"do any of you girls wear work stuff at home for your man? Mine's been asking..."
"Fuck that, home is sweat pants and non sexy time. I mean, it all just comes off anyways."
"I would be scared of like, inflicting stiletto injuries..."
DDD- "But don't you want to keep your man happy?"
Me: "I keep my boyfriend happy by fucking the living shit out of him."
DDD- "Oh my god, what are you, like eighteen?"
Me: "Everybody, just taking this opportunity to announce that I have sex with my boyfriend. Yes, we have seen each other naked. That is all."