View Full Version : Overheard in the Dressing Room
rareaspasia
10-09-2012, 10:48 PM
"The government is full of nazis. They're all nazis. Obama is a FUCKING RACIST NAZI!"
--
"Yeah, when I was in the hospital giving birth my boyfriend spent our last twenty bucks on a lottery ticket and won three hundred dollars. I love the lottery!"
--
Drunk crazy girl, screaming: "What the fuck do you mean you don't want kids? What the fuck is wrong with you? We're women, we're supposed to reproduce! That's why Jesus gave us vaginas!"
--
Talking about how she didn't have the money to pay her house fee to the door guy: "Tell him I don't have it. I'm going to have to lick his asshole for that tonight. I'm not sucking his dick. I hate sucking dick. I'd rather lick a man's hairy asshole than suck his dick." For the record, she was totally kidding.
--
One girl to another who was bitching about gaining weight after getting off roxy: "Shut up, you are hot as fuck. You have awesome big ass titties. Look at those things. I'm calling you Titzilla from now on."
--
"Jeezus, it stinks back here. Some in here has one nasty pussy. It smells like a fucking red lobster dumpster. At high noon."
That last one was me talking; I usually avoid being that crude but I can't stand smelling gross vagina. Ugh.
SuperJa
10-14-2012, 10:00 PM
So the other night... Hopefully I can convey this through text, as it is literally the closest I have ever come to pissing myself laughing.
Our dressing room has no door, just two big velvet curtains.
*Bouncer walks into the back, flinging the curtains wide as he does*
B: "I wish those were wooden doors, it'd be so much more satisfying."
(has more to say but notices the curtain is moving behind him)
DDD (from in the curtain): What the hell???
*everybody stares at curtain while it flails about*
DDD: "I'M TRAPPED"
*finally flails her way through into the dressing room, dumps drink on herself*
DDD, to Bouncer: "THIS IS ALL UR FAULT"
*Everyone is laughing except for the bouncer, who's just staring and trying not to laugh*
Bouncer: "I literally think this is the only time in my life I've never had anything to say..."
D2: "Wow, way to steal his thunder...."
******************
D2, to DDD: "Did you lose your purse AGAIN?"
DDD: "I KNOW WHERE IT IS I JUST CANT FIND IT"
D2: "I swear to God you need one of those things like the kids have so they don't lose their mittens."
*******************
Me: "I seriously think they put the creeper signal in the sky tonight. Fucking Thumb in Armpits guy is here tonight, fucking Squeeze Me Guy, and that Jogging Tights motherfucker..."
Dancer: "UGH I KNOW! You should have warned me about Jogging Tights....He kept talking about how well they breathe and how nice they feel" *makes gagging face*
Me: "Armpits guy isn't too bad... he just like, wants to keep his thumbs in your armpits for like, three songs. I do not understand the appeal."
D: "I can deal with that. 'I Pay Money For My Fetish' creepy is ok. 'I Want to Put You in a Dumpster' creepy is not."
audreyalice
10-17-2012, 06:14 AM
Dancer "OK, so you don't belive in dinosaurs at all?"
Shot GIrl "I only belive in dinosaurs when I'm drunk."
Dancer "But you belive in mermaids.....?"
Shot Girl "Yeah, I belive in mermaids. And I know that sometimes they fly."
Dancer ".....You belive in flying mermaids but not dinosaurs?"
Shot Girl (getting upset that we're laughing at her) "Of course I belive in mermaids but dinosaurs aren't fucking real!!!"
"So I was dancing for this guy and he was getting all handsy, and I'm like, 'you can't do that'. He says, 'why, you gonna tell your bouncer?' I said, 'No, I'm gonna rip my fucking tampon out and wipe it down your fucking shirt'. He sat on his hands after that."
I know this is old, but AWESOME!
SuperJa
10-29-2012, 01:23 AM
*Dancer's phone pings three or four times*
D1: "OMG SERIOUSLY STOP" (yelling at phone on table)
D2: "What's up?"
D1: My boyfriend is out of town...
D2: Is he sexting you pictures of things stuck in his ass again?
D1: YES...
Me: "You should seriously start a tumblr with that."
GlitterBexie
11-12-2012, 07:00 AM
Dancer "I just got my first 'Blower in two years! I heard talk of them but ive never had one myself!"
New Girl "WHAT?! Whats a Blower!?" *Looks terrified
Dancer 2 "Sometimes we get certain types of customers, legend tells of three, the Blower, who spends the dance blowing on you, the knee-jiggler and the groaner. All of these men are idiots and think it increases OUR "pleasure"... you shall learn my young padawan..."
Joanna_Kaary
11-12-2012, 07:08 PM
Blowers are the worst!
SuperJa
12-05-2012, 05:31 PM
I usually bring my protein shake in a baggie, leave it on my table, then add it to almond milk I keep in the fridge later.
Me:"Where's my whey?"
D: "I sold it to a customer. Here's $20."
Me: "Uh... cool. Kinda wanted that shake though. Isn't he gonna figure out pretty fast it's not drugs though?"
D: "What's he going to do, complain to management? 'One of your dancers sold me a powder that wasn't drugs!' "
***********
Girls taking a picture, another girl is in the frame:
"Move, bitch, or you're going on the internet."
****************
"So baby wipes were on sale today and I bought like, 800. Cashier asks me about my kids. I said, I don't have any. What I really wanted to say was, 'Actually, these are for my vagina.' "
kikidejavu
12-05-2012, 05:49 PM
^ thats awesome! Im imagining someone sniffing vanilla protein lol Also I love ur coworkers! The girls at my club would not have given u money for it lol
hollywood6
12-06-2012, 03:37 AM
A girl talking about how she enjoys drinking another lady's breast milk in great detail. I just sat there in disbelief.
Alyce
12-07-2012, 04:37 AM
I've overheard all kinds of fucked up shit. I couldn't even go into it. I've often wanted to tape some of the conversations that occur, but never would. It's just something that only strippers can really experience.
I want to write a book on it.
Alyce
12-07-2012, 04:49 AM
Dancer "OK, so you don't belive in dinosaurs at all?"
Shot GIrl "I only belive in dinosaurs when I'm drunk."
Dancer "But you belive in mermaids.....?"
Shot Girl "Yeah, I belive in mermaids. And I know that sometimes they fly."
Dancer ".....You belive in flying mermaids but not dinosaurs?"
Shot Girl (getting upset that we're laughing at her) "Of course I belive in mermaids but dinosaurs aren't fucking real!!!"
LMFAO.....................wtf?
Alyce
12-07-2012, 04:50 AM
Dancer "OK, so you don't belive in dinosaurs at all?"
Shot GIrl "I only belive in dinosaurs when I'm drunk."
Dancer "But you belive in mermaids.....?"
Shot Girl "Yeah, I belive in mermaids. And I know that sometimes they fly."
Dancer ".....You belive in flying mermaids but not dinosaurs?"
Shot Girl (getting upset that we're laughing at her) "Of course I belive in mermaids but dinosaurs aren't fucking real!!!"
LMFAO.....................wtf?
Cammi
12-13-2012, 04:51 AM
Thankfully Not Me: "Every time I talk to you I've pissed in my underwear!"
FemmeNikita
12-15-2012, 10:29 AM
Dancer - *whispers to me* Do you have a pad, hun?
Me- How are you going to wear a pad at work? I have tampons...
Dancer - EW OMG NO! Tampons give you cancer!
*After convincing her that tampons don't give you cancer, I follow her to the bathroom and am standing outside the stall.*
Dancer - AHH IT HURTS! ITS NOT GOING IN!
Me - Um...? Just push it!
Dancer - Wait...which hole do i put it in?
Me - THERES ONLY ONE HOLE!
Dancer - ....? No. Theres two! The one you have sex with and the one you bleed out of.
Me - Honey, come out here and show me where you're putting it.
SHES TRYING TO PUT THE TAMPON IN HER ASSHOLE!!!!!
*After telling her where to put it*
Dancer - OH! That feels GREAT!
AHHHHHHG! I can't believe how little people know about their bodies!
strength704grace
12-15-2012, 10:56 AM
dancer - *whispers to me* do you have a pad, hun?
Me- how are you going to wear a pad at work? I have tampons...
Dancer - ew omg no! Tampons give you cancer!
*after convincing her that tampons don't give you cancer, i follow her to the bathroom and am standing outside the stall.*
dancer - ahh it hurts! Its not going in!
Me - um...? Just push it!
Dancer - wait...which hole do i put it in?
Me - theres only one hole!
Dancer - ....? No. Theres two! The one you have sex with and the one you bleed out of.
Me - honey, come out here and show me where you're putting it.
Shes trying to put the tampon in her asshole!!!!!
*after telling her where to put it*
dancer - oh! That feels great!
Ahhhhhhg! I can't believe how little people know about their bodies!
o.m.g!!! :o
britchick85
12-15-2012, 08:54 PM
^^LMFAO!!!!!that is fucking crazy.
Otoki
12-16-2012, 09:14 AM
Dancer - *whispers to me* Do you have a pad, hun?
Me- How are you going to wear a pad at work? I have tampons...
Dancer - EW OMG NO! Tampons give you cancer!
*After convincing her that tampons don't give you cancer, I follow her to the bathroom and am standing outside the stall.*
Dancer - AHH IT HURTS! ITS NOT GOING IN!
Me - Um...? Just push it!
Dancer - Wait...which hole do i put it in?
Me - THERES ONLY ONE HOLE!
Dancer - ....? No. Theres two! The one you have sex with and the one you bleed out of.
Me - Honey, come out here and show me where you're putting it.
SHES TRYING TO PUT THE TAMPON IN HER ASSHOLE!!!!!
*After telling her where to put it*
Dancer - OH! That feels GREAT!
AHHHHHHG! I can't believe how little people know about their bodies!
You can't be serious.
So which hole does she think you bleed out of VS fuck?
SuperJa
12-16-2012, 02:22 PM
How the fuck did she think she was going to wear a pad at work???
@Otoki... Since she's trying to put the tampon in her ass, I'm inferring that she thinks you bleed out of your butt? wut?
kraize4step
12-17-2012, 02:37 AM
The girls I work with are really catty and I overheard one girl talking about another one.
Dancer 1: I told that chick if she messed with my regular that I would walk up to every customer she tried to get and be like "You know she got crabs right!"
Dancer 2: Damn thats fucked up!!
Dancer 1: Hell yea but you know that bitch can't fight!
For the remainder of the night I actually watched as she followed behind one of the other dancers and ruined all potential vip/dances for her.
SN: Did not realize the level of cattiness at this club until now :/
Otoki
12-17-2012, 05:59 AM
How the fuck did she think she was going to wear a pad at work???
@Otoki... Since she's trying to put the tampon in her ass, I'm inferring that she thinks you bleed out of your butt? wut?
I weep for humanity.
chanzep
12-17-2012, 06:33 PM
^ wow how old is she thats crazy!
tempest666
12-23-2012, 08:20 AM
Wasn't in the DR but still amusing. Very young dancer: "I'm down with the brothas! My baby daddy is black and I watch BET!!!!" :facepalm:
LilyXO
12-23-2012, 05:45 PM
Last night it was super cold, especially in the DR. I walk in after doing some dances, and see two girls wearing hoodies and hovering over a blow dryer, blow drying their asses.
Me: *confused look*
Dancer 1: It's cold in here, especially on these seats!
*Dancer 1 hands the blow dryer to Dancer 2, who starts blow drying their ass*
Dancer 2: Yeah, I'm freezing! My ass is fucking cold! *Dancer 2 offers me the blow dryer* Want a turn?
Me: *laughs* Sure, why not. Thanks!
Jacquelynstarr
01-03-2013, 03:58 PM
Cute ^_^
Haha here's another one! Last night in the DR, getting ready to leave:
Dancer A: *confused look* "Who the hell are you?"
Me (in my regular clothes): "It's me!" *takes off glasses*
Dancer A: *shocked* "Oh shit, sorry girl, I didn't mean to be rude." *super serious look* "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."
Joanna_Kaary
01-05-2013, 03:23 PM
"The other night my cousin came in here and got FIFTY singles and made it rain on me. The other girls might have better tits and asses but he said 'fuck those girls' and spent it ALL on me."
She then proceeded to describe how her daughter looks so much like the aforementioned cousin. o_O
summerbre
01-05-2013, 10:14 PM
The other night this HILARIOUS black girl in my club brought in a new vibrator she had just bought before work...
She starts freaking out about how high powered it is, and starts running around putting it on everyone's clits over their g-strings, going "FEEL THAT SHIT."
Another girl goes, "Girl that's not going to get you off, that's a pencil dick."
To which she responds, "Girl I only ever been with white boys, I don't know anything else."
VIP hostess walks in. Dildo girl goes "OH BITCHES watch this! This girl's a PROFESSIONAL." Puts the vibrator up to her pants. "You don't feel that do you?!" VIP hostess shrugs. "BITCH IS A PROFESSIONAL."
The whole scene ends with the black girl and the house mom on the floor wrestling over the vibrator and two girls with their phones out taking pictures.
janesays22
02-20-2013, 11:18 AM
This ones a few months old, but involves a perplexing moral dilemma:
(girl from the sticks): "I mean, when I find that bitch shes gonna know! It just aint right! Youknowwhatimean?"
Me: "huh?"
Gfts: "so my friend came in with his friends, he goes back with some BITCH for a $40 dance, first she tells him theres a $20 tip, and then she doesnt let him touch her, like at all!"
Me: "so?"
Gfts: "no-this guy is like mentally retarded.."
Me: "literally?"
gfts: "yeah!!! Hes slow! Hes special! She didnt let him touch her at all, people like that have needs too!
That is so low! How can you do that to a MeNtally ReTARDED guy??"
Me: "uh..maybe the strip club isnt the right envoironment for mentally handicapped people."
(SERIOUSLY???)
From the same girl earlier in the night: "oh shit, I think my daddy just came in...if my daddy sees me here hes gonna beat my head."
(at first I thought for a minute she was talking about her dad & I couldnt compute, then rwalized it was her sugerdaddy.)
Cheyennedaisy
05-25-2013, 02:40 AM
I went an auditioned at a new club and this girl next to me was talking about how she had danced until she was 9 months pregnant and was dancing again 2 months post partum.
Nina_
05-25-2013, 11:05 AM
Not too long ago I overheard an extras girl complaining to the housemom that she is broke because guys are only willing to pay low prices for extras.
Joanna_Kaary
05-26-2013, 02:17 AM
@Cheyennedaisy, I once worked with a girl who told me she'd danced until she was more than eight months pregnant and came back when her son was TWO WEEKS old.
sexy_celeste
05-26-2013, 06:56 AM
I danced till 32 weeks (8months) preg with my first, but I bought myself off the stage once I showed, and was lucky that I was pretty tiny until the end (still had 10lb bub though) and had loads of fetish guys for VIP
MyButter
05-26-2013, 07:20 AM
and had loads of fetish guys for VIP
Right! Pregnancy was extremely lucrative, as was breastfeeding. It's surprising how many guys are into it. I honestly thought both would be such a turn off for customers but it was quite the opposite, IME.
emeryyld
05-26-2013, 07:34 AM
Edited
tuesdaymarie
07-07-2013, 12:10 AM
"I'm not too good at math... All I know is that five twenties make a hundred!"
tuesdaymarie
07-07-2013, 11:40 PM
"I'ma get me some DICK tonight! My man's outta jail and I'm gonna pick him up and treat him like a woman should. I'm not gonna wear any panties, and I'm gonna let him drive, and I'm gonna fuck him the whole ride home!"
A discussion on his probation and whether her actions would endanger them or just inflame their romance commenced.
Also:
"I dunno. I need to work and I meant to more this week, but I just discovered Instagram and that shit's like crack..." *takes selfie*
Aurora14
07-08-2013, 01:32 AM
I was sitting with some regulars talking about how I had Just discovered The Big Bang Theory. Another dancer walks up and one of the guys (Jokingly) asks her "Would you like to copulate for large amounts of money?"
Dancer: Huh?!
Customer: Would you like to copulate for large amounts of money?
Dancer: That makes no sense. You're stupid. I'll come back later... when you can speak english.
Facepalm. She really is a sweet girl though...
We were getting ready to leave when this started. Don't know how, but it did:
Dancer 1: Sometimes you just need to need to have a dick up your ass
Dancer 2: OMG! That is so gross.
1: You're telling me you never get it in the butt!
Most of the room: NO
1: As long as it's lubed up it's great! (Another dancer) you can't tell me that you've never had it in the butt, your ass is huge and I love it!
AD: Never, and if my husband tries he'll loose some parts
1: Try it girl, you'll love it, just start with a well lubed thumb
Manager: Stop talking about getting it in the butt and get dressed, you're gonna make me have to poop.
1: You guys don't know what you're missing. I know I'm not the only one. You're all liars
3: (Kinda drunk and out of it) What are you talking about you nasty bitch?
1: Getting it in the butt
3: Hell ya, lube it up and slip it in baby!
1: I knew I wasn't the only one!
tuesdaymarie
08-03-2013, 01:29 AM
"I need to make at least $130 tonight so I can buy my boyfriend this air hockey table off Craigslist."
absolutbliss
08-03-2013, 02:17 AM
"Bitch called me a whore for fingering my asshole on stage!"
arielbriel
08-05-2013, 12:55 AM
*talking about penis's"
Dancer A: is your bf cut?
Dancer b: What's that mean?
Dancer A: it means circumcised.
Dancer B: yeah he CUT.
Why couldn't you just use the proper term for it?? LOL.
Written in the Skye
08-15-2013, 01:29 AM
wasn't overheard but i witnessed this...
a stripper pumping her breastmilk. i'd never seen that before in my life, much less at my work place! i'm not a mother so maybe it bothered me a bit more than it would someone else, but damn was that freaking weird!
Written in the Skye
08-15-2013, 01:30 AM
wasn't overheard but i witnessed this...
a stripper pumping her breastmilk. i'd never seen that before in my life, much less at my work place! i'm not a mother so maybe it bothered me a bit more than it would someone else, but damn was that freaking weird!
sexy_celeste
08-15-2013, 09:04 AM
wasn't overheard but i witnessed this...
a stripper pumping her breastmilk. i'd never seen that before in my life, much less at my work place! i'm not a mother so maybe it bothered me a bit more than it would someone else, but damn was that freaking weird!
Better than leaking all over custies lol
kassie
08-15-2013, 09:52 AM
"Does anybody have something that rhymes with Smaderall?"
Sheesh if you are going to abuse meds, at least hide it!
tuesdaymarie
08-15-2013, 02:12 PM
"Remember, he likes for us to be happy and carefree, like life is grand and doesn't bother us at all."
"Well that's not me..."
"Oh, me either, that's why I take ecstasy! Want some?"
SweetJulia
08-16-2013, 03:09 AM
wasn't overheard but i witnessed this...
a stripper pumping her breastmilk. i'd never seen that before in my life, much less at my work place! i'm not a mother so maybe it bothered me a bit more than it would someone else, but damn was that freaking weird!
Ugh, I had this happen as well. I'd tipped the new girl on stage and she put her boobs in my face, I felt something wet on my face. After her set, saw her pumping breast milk in the DR, so mystery solved.
Warped
08-26-2013, 12:37 AM
This happened to a fellow coworker/friend
Friend dancer goes into the bathroom stall and a random drunk dancer followers her in...
RDD: hey, can I have some coke
FD: Um, I dont do coke
RDD: I will give you $50 for a bump
FD: Seriously, I dont do coke
RDD: Fine, be a bitch! Storms out
deni.dee
08-27-2013, 01:34 PM
Towards the end of the night, a group of dancers talking about changing their stage names. The drunkest says,
"What if I changed my name to 'This Bitch'? And now, let's all welcome to the stage This Bitch! Can we get a round of applause for This Bitch?"
All the while she's laughing her ass off at her own joke.
smeca
08-31-2013, 04:10 AM
girls talking about going to the zoo
"I'm so excited about seein giraffes n shit!"
tempest666
09-01-2013, 02:56 AM
Me: "Ugh, civilian vagina in the club is like Nazis in a Holocaust museum."
Very young dancer: "I don't get it."
Me: "You know where 6 million Jews were killed?"
Very young dancer: "I'm not Jewish, I'm Italian!"
(Shocked silence)