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Kaylinn
07-10-2007, 06:26 PM
On another random note: my mum is LITERALLY allergic to the sun. As in, she gets hives if she's in the sun more than 10 minutes. The UV rays or something. Actual allergy. her doctor even is the one that confirmed it. She just thought she burnt badly.

Yep...me to. Sucks. I get a rash. Get a terrible burn also if I don't wear super mega SPF. I wore SPF 60 to Six Flags, and burnt anyway.


But uhh...yeah...it wouldn't be to smart to wear a sweater if you were prone to heatstroke, which is just getting to hot, LOL.

Andygirl
07-11-2007, 09:47 AM
My boyfriend loves getting dances from librarian type chicks. He sys it mixes the innocent cute thing, but wth stripper heels, adds in the naughty factor. He seeks out sexy librarian type dancers.

That's great, but nothing about me is "librarian-ish" except for the glasses, which I don't wear during work hours. I just think it's funny that putting on glasses always adds I.Q. points in some people's minds.

PaigeDWinter
07-11-2007, 10:11 AM
On another random note: my mum is LITERALLY allergic to the sun. As in, she gets hives if she's in the sun more than 10 minutes. The UV rays or something. Actual allergy. her doctor even is the one that confirmed it. She just thought she burnt badly.


Yep. My real dad has an average case of it. He ends up looking like he has scabbed up zits on his skin. I have a mild case of it. I get the zit-like bumps, but without the bleeding, and far fewer of them.

braxley
07-12-2007, 02:38 PM
last night was probably the first time i ever responded to a story the girls were relaying to me. i was a bit tipsy so i guess that helped.

dancer 1: oh my gosh, last night at the afterhours party, we were all totally tripping. we were all on shrooms and sitting in a circle here in the dressing room.
dancer 2: right, and this girl just comes right up and puts her leg right up on the wall like this *girl lifts leg way up in the air so her crotch is pointed right at my face*
dancer 1: and then she pulls her fucking tampon out right in front of all of us
dancer 2: *mimics groping around and fishing out a tampon* she said, "we're all girls here!" and i was like GROSS, BITCH! YOU DON'T DO THAT! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE MY SISTER!
other girls standing around: oh my god.. geez... ewww
me: you should have just punched her in the cunt, right then and there.
other girls: *stop talking, stare straight at me*
me: well, i guess you would want to put a glove on first.

then i went out on the floor and made a zillion dollars.

Roulette
07-13-2007, 01:35 PM
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA that sounds like something I would have said. last night a girl was telling a story about someone being a dick and I said she should have punched them in the face, then she told me it was a 6 year old. I made a blank face and said "so? they need to be schooled and obviously the parents are failing" and walked away. I would never punch a kid but the silence that ensued was pretty funny. They just didnt know what to do with it.

TigersMilk
07-22-2007, 11:24 AM
Manager:"Well since you got here late there are no more booths for the last 2 girls. You'll have to go home."

Girl says to manager: "Damn I came all the way down here and now I have to take the bus back home."

Coming from a girl who claims to make alot of money. Yea public transportation screams wealthy stripper.

gypsy_girlchild
07-22-2007, 11:32 AM
Manager:"Well since you got here late there are no more booths for the last 2 girls. You'll have to go home."

Girl says to manager: "Damn I came all the way down here and now I have to take the bus back home."

Coming from a girl who claims to make alot of money. Yea public transportation screams wealthy stripper.
hey now, I make really good money and I don't drive, never have and prob never will (scared to death).. I take cabs everywhere, but have been known to take the bus when I worked at a club that was literally ten blocks away, I even walked on cool days.
Just figured I would throw that in there.

TigersMilk
07-22-2007, 11:40 AM
Ok well I understand your situation. I know the train/bus is the best option for some. I said that because this is a girl that brags about how much money she makes, claims she has a sugar daddy and does 'underground shows'. This is a city where you need a car.

gypsy_girlchild
07-22-2007, 03:40 PM
Ok well I understand your situation. I know the train/bus is the best option for some. I said that because this is a girl that brags about how much money she makes, claims she has a sugar daddy and does 'underground shows'. This is a city where you need a car.
Ah, gotcha.. I have had a few people get in my face about the fact that I don't drive so where does my money go, when I explain it they tend to understand, Then again, I don't talk about how much money I make and I only work in the club.
One thing heard in the dressing room..
manager, "You are fired for screwing that guy in there>"
dancer, "I couldn't be screwing him, I'm on my period!"
manager, "well, I couldn't tell what was on his pants, but he sure left in a hurry out the fire exit!"

StrawberrySwitchblade
07-22-2007, 04:15 PM
As I'm walking past the dressing room, I hear really...enthusiastic moaning, which escalates into full blown orgasmic screaming. I rush in there, half expecting to see dancer on custie, but it's just the dancer, sitting back in a chair, with a sub from the pizza joint across the bridge. She moans again and takes a bite 'Oh God this is so good. *groan*'

-----

Same chick as above has gotten a special (which is buy three dances and get one for free) and is dancing for this dude. She's real small with a fast metabolism (like me) so she had to eat constantly. She's been complaining she's hungry for a while, then one of her regs shows up with the sub. He waggles it in the doorway of the lapdance room, and she freezes, bolts at it and damn near tackles the sub out of his hands, then barrels into the dressing room and slams the door. The dude who she was giving a lapdance to just looked shocked. I offer to finish the dances for him but he just kind of shakes his head like he can't believe what just happened. A moment later, she bursts out of the dressing room and jumps back into this guys lap and picks up where she left off. She finishes the dances to go back to obviously orgasmic sandwich.

I really need to know what kind of sandwich she got. O.o;

StrawberrySwitchblade
07-22-2007, 04:17 PM
I come from teacher stock, and I've gotten the teacher/librarian stuff *every time* I put on my glasses. Doesn't even matter if the rest of me is made up and nekkid. Still teacher. Where do these people come from where glasses suddenly equal one's ability to only function in two occupations?

OMG TELL ME ABOUT IT. But I plan to bank on it. Get me a pencil skirt and a teeny weeny slut-jacket. Ima rock that shit. Dance to Alice Cooper's Schools Out.

cameron_keys
07-22-2007, 04:30 PM
I really need to know what kind of sandwich she got. O.o;

Brings to mind When Harry met Sally..."I'll have what she's having" scene..lol!!

242_fair
07-22-2007, 04:40 PM
"You should drink some rum. That's what makes the xanax work."
Dancer takes the advice and drinks some rum.
Flash forward to 2 hours later. DJ is calling Xanax girl to the stage, yelling that she is 1/2 way into the first song.
Xanax dancer answers him (without pressing "Talk" button on the intercom) "Wait, I can't find my shirt"
DJ continues calling her to stage.
Now Xanax Dancer has her face against the intercom (Still not pressing 'talk' button) yelling back to him about the missing shirt.
(End of the night as dancers are leaving the club, manager lays into girl for missing stage)
"It wasn't my fault, the intercom is broken".

Same dressing room, different night:

Pale white girl is obsessing about the facial scars from her recent skin cancer treatment. Romanian dancer approaches her and says 'You should go tanning, that is the best for skin cancer!"
...Me and pale dancer just Romania girl weird looks and leave the room.

Same dressing room / different night...

Newbie dancer is drunk and whining and wondering around the top earners part of the dr. She asks "How do I make money like you guys?" Mean russian girl turns around to her and says 'Don't fuck with us, go fuck yourself.' Newbie dancer replied 'what, you think my outfit isn't cute?'

Different club

Mother / dancer who has a bi-racial child : "my baby is getting nice and black"
Other girl : "I wish mine would darken up, or his daddy won't want him"
um ok. our older dancer left the room and I found her in the kitchen with the cook laughing their asses off

Dancer addressing room of girls:
"Does this outfit make me look cute or sexy" (actually neither)
... everyone stops talking - silence

Same club

Dancer is rolling a joint openly on the dressing counter, in plain view of the camera overhead.
Another girl tells her 'don't do that here, your on the camera.
Puffy-Dancer looks confused, looks at the camera as if it was the first time she notices it, and says 'Oh that! I thought that was just for Security."

TigersMilk
07-22-2007, 04:45 PM
Mother / dancer who has a bi-racial child : "my baby is getting nice and black"
Other girl : "I wish mine would darken up, or his daddy won't want him"
um ok.


Hahaha. I came out all light colored. I got brown after a few months.

BlueJeanBaby
07-22-2007, 06:40 PM
Oooh speaking of smelly cunt... the other night the guy I was sitting with asked me to tip the girl on stage. So I approached with my $3, and she stepped over my head and rubbed her (thankfully clothed) pussy on my forehead and face in this weird bucking/ gyrating/ bouncing movement, and help me Jeebus, that shit STANK. It was all I could do not to gag while being trapped between her legs and smelly cunt. I'm still having the heebeejeebees a few days later... I'm no newbie but I've never had stank stripper pussy in my face before, and apparently I REALLY don't like it.

yeah they kinda do something similar at a club out by me, Great Alaskan Bush Co.

It's fully nude...went in with friends for a birthday...that's what the girls would do. You put your tip up and they come over and put their pussy in your face, some of them would do backbends, etc...you tip em if you want a bush dive, never seen anything like that before.

***edited to clarify****
And by put their pussy in your face i don't mean like...right in front...no. They straddle your head.

..my friends couldn't understand why I didn't want to go up to the tip rail and get a bush dive.

lol. gee.

teeth_of_the_hydra
07-22-2007, 10:01 PM
In the following scenario, Dancer A is a sassy, outspoken black chick who I basically love. Dancer B is a very nice girl I had never met before.

Scene: Dancer A is complaining about her long drive home, 60 miles south. Dancer B invites Dancer A to stay at her place, which is close by.

Dancer A: Aw, thanks boo, but I gotta brush my teeth as soon as I wake up in the morning, and I didn't bring a toothbrush.
Dancer B: You can just put some toothpaste on your finger and brush your teeth that way.
Dancer A (shocked and disgusted): Ew. That ain't brushin' yo' teeth, that's touchin' yo' stuff. Shit.

A.n.a.l.a.
07-22-2007, 10:16 PM
^^^ Omg, that's so brilliant..! Whenever I'm reading in the dressing room, the girls ask me what I'm studying for.. most of the time it's linguistics, so I tell them, and I'd say about 10% of the time they know or pretend to know what linguistics is, and 90% of the time they're like, "What's that?" ::)

sounds like the smartest strippers are on this board! linguistics, huh? how many languages do you speak or know?

and to the person who posted above you- what was the anthology of? whose collective works?

teeth_of_the_hydra
07-22-2007, 10:35 PM
It was this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Anchor-Book-American-Short-Stories/dp/1400034825

My favorite story in it is William Gay's "The Paperhanger," which, if you've never read it, is the most chilling depiction of human debasement I have ever read.

ScarlettSC
07-23-2007, 08:53 AM
Strangest story I ever heard in the dressing room- the girl sounded like she was dead serious. This guy wanted to come home with her and her friend one night, and so they let him. Told him it would make them hot if they could put makeup on him. He let them and then they told him to take off his shirt, and somehow they ended up dropping him off somewhere with makeup on and no shirt, and they left him there. I don't know how true the story was, but it was hilarious to hear her tell it.

Roulette
07-23-2007, 11:01 AM
first night I worked there was a room full or girls who off the bat were annoyed because I'd gotten a "tour" or the place. so I end up sitting between two girls one who is pissed that she isn't the only white girl anymore, Dancer A and the other who seems very nice Dancer B...

Dancer B: Hey gurl did you get that whole situation figured out?
Dancer A: What are you talking about?
Dancer B: You know that thing you had to do...
Dancer A: blank stare
Dancer B: Reeemember what we were talking about last night?
Dancer A: light bulb turns on over her head OOOH the abortion? fuck yeah I got that little fucker ripped out of me right fucking quick! Why were you being all sneaky?
Dancer B: I dunno discretion?
Dancer C: Girl you know Dancer A doesnt know the meaning of the word! Shit she'll let anyone put it anywhere!
Dancer A: Not true! I wont suck a dick!
Dancer C: but he can stick it everywhere else!
Dancer A: true true, I bet when they sucked it out the cleaned out a whole lot of cum too... oh shit I gotta get on stage!

I thought that whole interaction was tooo funny, but being new I didnt want to laugh or act like I even noticed the conversation. It was so hard not to laugh!

PaigeDWinter
07-23-2007, 11:11 AM
Egads Roulette. That entire conversation made me blanch.

Roulette
07-23-2007, 11:22 AM
^6 yeah that girl, Dancer A is freaking craaaazy!! funny, but nuts!! I think she might have been fired though... I'll find out tonight...

blaze_n_hot
07-23-2007, 02:26 PM
Dancer B: Hey gurl did you get that whole situation figured out?
Dancer A: What are you talking about?
Dancer B: You know that thing you had to do...
Dancer A: blank stare
Dancer B: Reeemember what we were talking about last night?
Dancer A: light bulb turns on over her head OOOH the abortion? fuck yeah I got that little fucker ripped out of me right fucking quick! Why were you being all sneaky?
Dancer B: I dunno discretion?
Dancer C: Girl you know Dancer A doesnt know the meaning of the word! Shit she'll let anyone put it anywhere!
Dancer A: Not true! I wont suck a dick!
Dancer C: but he can stick it everywhere else!
Dancer A: true true, I bet when they sucked it out the cleaned out a whole lot of cum too... oh shit I gotta get on stage!

I thought that whole interaction was tooo funny, but being new I didnt want to laugh or act like I even noticed the conversation. It was so hard not to laugh!


LOL, I remember this convo! ;D

Littlelo
07-23-2007, 03:48 PM
Recently that annoying Chaka Khan song came on while a few of us were wasting time in the dressing room. I loathe that song, so I grumbled about it. One of the other girls joined me then added, "Yeah, I hate when people wear those stupid Chaka Khan shirts..." I was like "Wha?" She said, "You know! Those shirts with his head." It took me a minute but I couldn't help laughing out loud. "You mean Che Guevara?" LMAO Priceless.

Dottie Rebel
07-23-2007, 05:04 PM
^^^Wow. That is awesome. Although, I have to admit I hate it when people wear those stupid Chakavara shirts, too. ;)

Katrine
07-23-2007, 07:13 PM
.
Newbie dancer is drunk and whining and wondering around the top earners part of the dr. She asks "How do I make money like you guys?" Mean russian girl turns around to her and says 'Don't fuck with us, go fuck yourself.' Newbie dancer replied 'what, you think my outfit isn't cute?'


Haha, love it!

carolina6
07-24-2007, 12:44 AM
I heard such a good one tonight in the dressing room and immediately thought of this thread.

2 dancers, one has been at our club for years (1) and the other is fairly new and a complete idiot (2).

2: Oh, you have another job?
1: Yeah, I'm a florist.
2: So you like, install carpets and stuff?
1: No, like selling flowers.
2: Oh, God, I'm so out of it.

Haha. At least she recognized her own stupidity.

cinammonkisses
07-26-2007, 12:18 PM
The other night while at work, I heard a girl on her cell phone crying to her boyfriend

Her: Yes, baby I'm still here at work
Him: -------
Her: Well Yea, I'd love to come home, but I have to work!
Him:------
Her: Yea, I miss you too. But if I dont stay here at work, then I won't have enough money. I still have to pay my rent, AND your rent for your apartment too.

I'm sitting here in freaking shock! I couldn't believe a girl was actually working to pay both her bills and her man's.

Alaska
07-26-2007, 05:11 PM
It was this book:



My favorite story in it is William Gay's "The Paperhanger," which, if you've never read it, is the most chilling depiction of human debasement I have ever read.

Cool, thanks.:)

Gypsy74
07-26-2007, 05:17 PM
At the end of the night while all the girls are gathering in the dressing room, Dancer 1 sees Dancer 2 entering the dressing room and goes "You're Asian right?", Dancer 2 is obviously some sort of Asian, and responds, "Yeah, I'm Korean". Dancer 1 "Oh so you're not Asian? Where is Korean?". Dancer 3 who is also Asian pipes in and tries to explain to her that Korea is on the continent of Asia, therefore Koreans are Asians... Dancer 1 never gets it and drunkenly stumbles out of the dressing room. haha.....go back to school.

Yekhefah
07-26-2007, 05:42 PM
That reminds me of an incident at the Seventh Veil last summer... we had this illiterate junkie dumbass there, 22 years old with nine years of stripping experience (yeah, do THAT math). One night a large group of Korean guys came in and they didn't tip her enough, and she barged in the dressing room ranting and raving about "those fucking Chinese assholes out there." She called them Chinese over and over again.

Someone else said, "Actually, I think they're Korean."

"Yeah," I said, "I was talking to them earlier and they are Korean."

She looked at both of us and got pissed off. "What the fuck EVER," she snapped, "It's the same fucking thing, they're still fucking Chinese, I don't give a shit where they came from."

There was a moment of silence and then another dancer casually said as she applied her lipstick, "So you're Mexican, right?"

Homegirl was livid. "HELL NO, FUCK YOU!" she screamed. "I'm ARMENIAN!"

"Whatever," shrugged the one who'd asked the question. "Mexican, Armenian. It's the same thing. You look the same to me."

I can't describe how angry the Armenian dancer got. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she shouted. "Armenia and Mexico don't have ANYTHING in common! We don't even speak the same LANGUAGE! And we definitely don't look alike, LOOK AT ME!" (She was short and swarthy with long dark hair, just like the Latina next to her.)

Everyone in the dressing room immediately picked up on it and agreed that she looked Mexican. For the rest of the night we all called her Mexican and the DJ even played something in Spanish for her next stage set. She was mad as hell but she stopped calling people "Chinese" and switched to "Asian" after that.

Alaska
07-26-2007, 06:22 PM
^^^That is a classic story that should be heard the world round. LMFAO. The DJ even played her a Mexican song, bwahahaha. I only wish it weren't so rare to be able to teach a dumb bitch a lesson.

Yekhefah
07-26-2007, 06:24 PM
Oh yeah, it was definitely classic. All night long if we walked past her, we'd give her a flirty little smile and say, "Que pasa, mamacita??" She was FUMING all night long. The Mexican girl there could not stop laughing.

teeth_of_the_hydra
07-27-2007, 03:43 PM
Homegirl was livid.


I think that when I write my astrology... I mean anthology... about my life as a stripper, this is going to be the title.


Homegirl was Livid: Stories from the Dressing Room

Lysondra
07-27-2007, 05:38 PM
Oh my GAWD, yek you'll LOVE this one!!

Girl: I made 50k in ONE month.
Me: *smelling bull-o-meter* Where was this?
Girl: In Hollywood, last year!! I made 50k in one month!
Me: There's no money in Hollywood, California is in a recession.
Girl: No, you see *still hasn't figured out my accent* there you don't even talk to a guy, you just walk up to him a dance for him, and if he doesn't pay you he gets kicked out.
Me: What club was this?
Her: *Some obscure one I've never even heard of*
Me: Uh, you should probably go back there then. I'm from Hollywood and I haven't even heard of it.
Her: Where did you work?
MeL Rhino, Seventh Veil, Cabaret... *was still listing when she interrupted*
Her: No, I'm going to the RHINO, where the money is! See, the secret to making fifty grand in Hollywood is to go during Christmas. When I'm done there I'm going to Vegas!
Me: Go to Sapphires, that's where the money is.
Her: No, I don't wanna work THERE, they need a visa and make you pay your taxes!!
Me: Yes, that's how life works.
Her: I haven't met a stripper yet who was stupid enough to claim her full income on taxes.
Me: Uh, I do.
Her: I'm going to avoid the tax man as much as I can and make stripping my 5 year plan to get out with a few cars and a few houses.

This woman was brilliant. :D I'm actually convinced she really believed she'd make 50k but that someone ELSE told her hey did and she got Hollywood Sparkles.

Yekhefah
07-27-2007, 06:45 PM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Alaska
07-27-2007, 07:44 PM
Ever since the mexigirl post, I keep thinking of stripping Mariachis, maybe she is having nightmares that she is one of them!

I just did some brief math on that 50k girl...wha? over 2 g a night? Or I guess it was everyone's Christmas bonuses since it was around Christmas time.

cameron_keys
07-27-2007, 11:43 PM
Wait..what the hell was I doing in LA...over 2K a night?? I could have made SO much more!! Damn you Yek for keeping all that hot Hollywood money to yourself...YOU RICH BITCH....I though you were my friennnnnnndddddddddddddddd.....wahhhhhhh

Thats ok I 'll get you back. Come down for Halloween and I;ll give you LIGHT syrup for YOUR pancake..NO NO>..no yummpy full fat mapleness fpr you...nope..LIGHT....that'll show you...yeah.that'll make it even.....


(I"ve been drinking ...ignore me)

Lysondra
07-28-2007, 12:08 AM
Wait..what the hell was I doing in LA...over 2K a night?? I could have made SO much more!! Damn you Yek for keeping all that hot Hollywood money to yourself...YOU RICH BITCH....I though you were my friennnnnnndddddddddddddddd.....wahhhhhhh

Thats ok I 'll get you back. Come down for Halloween and I;ll give you LIGHT syrup for YOUR pancake..NO NO>..no yummpy full fat mapleness fpr you...nope..LIGHT....that'll show you...yeah.that'll make it even.....


(I"ve been drinking ...ignore me)

Well Yek isn't rich because YOU SEE the secret is go DURING CHRISTMAS. I mean, really... that's THE SECRET.

I was cracking up.

This girl is gonna be broke and in the IRS's asshole licking her way out before she's 30.

Poor thing. I tried to tell her... :/ She seemed really really sweet, just so clueless.

cameron_keys
07-28-2007, 06:47 AM
^^Pancakes??? What the hell was I talking about??? LOL!

Yekhefah
07-28-2007, 07:59 AM
:laughing: I LOVE this thread.

LilMissSophie
08-05-2007, 04:36 PM
My bf overhead this in the CR about a week ago :

customer: I'm in the armed forces
dancer: Oh that's cool! What branch?
customer: The marines.
dancer: Oh, that's like the one that has the guys with swords in the commercial?
customer: Yeah that's right.
dancer: Why don't they give you guys guns?
customer: :O

Andygirl
08-06-2007, 07:44 AM
^^Pancakes??? What the hell was I talking about??? LOL!


Overheard in this thread..........lol.....you seemed peeved about Light Maple Syrup.;D

Starfire
08-06-2007, 07:57 AM
I hear some priceless stuff at work. I was in the champagne room, and I hear this girl next to me say, very drunkenly to her customer "you look like hitler. But in a good way. Hitler was kind of cute. I mean, if he hadn't killed 6 million people...." my customer and I were like :O
A different day, I was sitting in the dressing room getting ready, and I hear an argument going on with some of the staff, manager, bartenders, security. One of the bartenders says "man, some of these girls get away with all kind of shit because they suck managers dicks. Whose dick do I have to suck to get away with this crap? I sucked a managers dick to and I still don't get no special treatment!!!"
Another funny one...I was downstairs on the floor and I look over to the stage, and I see this new girl on stage take her underwear off, and stick them in her mouth. Then she proceeded to dance for a full minute with her underwear in her mouth, just hanging there. I go to the dressing room right after that for something, and the same girl comes in and say, "no one came up to the stage to tip me on that set! What is wrong with these people?"

Corey
08-06-2007, 10:19 AM
^ ^ ^ ^ ^

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

scarlett_vancouver
08-06-2007, 07:30 PM
Coming from a girl who claims to make alot of money. Yea public transportation screams wealthy stripper.

hey, don't knock it yo! I take the bus, and I do OK :D.


lol @ "you look like Hitler". wtf??

TigersMilk
08-06-2007, 07:34 PM
I just found out today..the poor girl is homeless too. I'm not sure if by choice though.

Who starts out with "you look like hitler"? Yea that makes them hot tell them they look like a Jew killer. Is Jew the right word..don't wanna offend.

Alaska
08-06-2007, 07:49 PM
^^^ Yes, Jew = Jewish, not offensive...which I am, half...and am still ROFLMFAO at Hitler comment. I wonder what would have happened if he got all pissed off and demanded another girl...L...O...L I'd wonder to myself if my strip club days might be over, as a customer..ahahaha

Starfire
08-06-2007, 10:43 PM
seriously...and we all wonder where the dumb stripper stereotype comes from? some of the shit I hear when I'm at work is just so priceless it's hard not to laugh out loud right there. This thread is awesome!!

holiday
08-07-2007, 06:19 PM
Homegirl was Livid!!! I love that story of Yeks! Que pasa mamacita? I love that everyone got in on it.