View Full Version : Overheard in the Dressing Room
PrettyCurlieQ
08-07-2007, 07:05 PM
Some girl was walking around the dressing room last night asking everyone about these pills she had found on a table. She was obviously interested in taking them, but wanted to know what they were first. One dancer looked at them and said for her to throw them away, and then took a closer look. "Bitch, those are my tic-tacs!!" Apparently they spilled out of her stripper-box thingy and she hadn't cleaned them all up. This made me feel sad and entertained at the same time.
StrawberrySwitchblade
08-09-2007, 09:26 PM
While prettifying myself at the mirror, girl digs in her bag and whips out her cell phone, punches in a number, and calls.
Stealth-Stripper (me!): *powders nose*
Chick: Mom, it's me. Could you do me a favor?
SS: *pause*
C: Yeah, I'm down at the club and I really don't think I can work sober tonight.
SS: ...
C: Could you bring me something? Like (cheap-shit rum brand)?
SS: *jaw drop*
C: ...awww thanks, Mom! Just give it to (another girl) because my stage set is next.
--------
Chick2: *stomps in, very pissed, and kicks a locker* That stupid motherfucker. I made him come too quick. He fucking came and won't buy another Champagne Room.
--------
Chick (from scene 1): Wow, I'm surprised I'm actually here! I called (manager) a 'fucking Jew-cunt' but he called me in tonight! He must like me.
LilMissSophie
08-10-2007, 02:52 AM
I was fixing my makeup when...
dancer says: Hey gurl, are these your babywipes?
me: No.
dancer: I don't even care, I gotta shit.
me: Okay...
she proceeds to drop a few bombs while exiting the dressing room
Bella21
08-10-2007, 12:37 PM
Girl: OMG I feel so bad! I got my customer hooked on coke!
Me: Oh... you do coke? *thinking that this is a really bad conversation to be in*
Girl: NO! I'd never get it for him! I never got it for him!
Me: Ok
Girl: I never got it for him! It's because he loves me too much! He started doing it because i hurt him.
Me: Well, he's a grown man... dont' feel too bad.
Girl: No, it's because I hurt him! I need to call him!
Me: Ok
Girl: Don't ever do coke! Do you see the girls here doing it?
Me: No
Girl: I walk in on them all the time and then they offer it and then I HAVE to do it. I don't do it a lot but you know... I never buy it... but I'll do it...
Me: Yea *edges towards door*
Girl: Men are so hard to date in this business
Me: Yeeeaaaaa *sneaks out*
ExoticEngineer
08-10-2007, 12:50 PM
Ditry extras girl walks in the dressing room: "Man! I am getting a workout tonight!"
Fiesty pissed off girl: "Working out what, your fore arms?"
Extras girl: "Do you want me to slap you?"
Pissed off girl: "And get strange penis on my face? No thanks!"
I had to leave the DR I was laughing so hard!
hearts
08-10-2007, 02:45 PM
One of the younger dancers (19 at the time) walked into the DR before her shift to get ready. It was the end of my shift, and I was headed out. She was wearing a t-shirt with a David Bowie print on it. "Hey, cool t-shirt!" I said.She replied:"Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"
BalletBaby
08-10-2007, 08:20 PM
One of the younger dancers (19 at the time) walked into the DR before her shift to get ready. It was the end of my shift, and I was headed out. She was wearing a t-shirt with a David Bowie print on it. "Hey, cool t-shirt!" I said.She replied:"Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"
LMAO! Hell, I'm 20 and know who David Bowie is. Obviously she hadn't seen The Labyrinth::)
TigersMilk
08-10-2007, 11:24 PM
The fucking people we work with man LOL
roxanna
08-11-2007, 05:20 AM
gawd damn. didnt know bowie? isnt that down in the bible between murder and heresy?
Taylorlila
08-11-2007, 09:30 AM
One of the younger dancers (19 at the time) walked into the DR before her shift to get ready. It was the end of my shift, and I was headed out. She was wearing a t-shirt with a David Bowie print on it. "Hey, cool t-shirt!" I said.She replied:"Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"
haha I'm 19 too...but I'm not that silly...
Yekhefah
08-11-2007, 10:00 AM
"Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Alaska
08-11-2007, 05:15 PM
Pissed off girl: "And get strange penis on my face? No thanks!"
Now THERE'S somebody who's brain does what it's supposed to--think funny stuff AT THE TIME and SAY IT! Instead of the usual 15 minutes later routine... Man I wish I was her.
Hearts you should have told her it was David BAU-ie ala Avril Lavigne...she'd be sure to repeat it out loud at least once to somebody...
maximvsv
08-25-2007, 07:35 PM
One of the younger dancers (19 at the time) walked into the DR before her shift to get ready. It was the end of my shift, and I was headed out. She was wearing a t-shirt with a David Bowie print on it. "Hey, cool t-shirt!" I said.She replied:"Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"
He'd probably be flattered.
RedHairedGirl
08-25-2007, 10:52 PM
Classic exchanges I recall from long ago:
Young Stripper: I want liposuction, but what if I pay all that money, and there's still some fat around I don't like?
Older Stripper: Have them suck it ALL out and just gorge your way back. That way you only have to pay once.
(she was dead serious, and her own body was so overly lipo-ed that her flesh just glided and slipped around her body like a loosely fitting, creepy skin suit)
*******************************
Stripper having her first drink of the night: "Wow, the ice is much colder today than yesterday!"
Err... huh???
********************************
Overheard coming out of bathroom stall:
Very young stripper: Owwwww! How do you put in these tampons???
What followed was a six way conversation involving every other stripper in the room, yelling out instructions along the following lines:
"It's like fucking -- pretend it's a dick, but you leave this one in!"
(at which point we found out that Young Stripper was a virgin and knew nothing about getting a tampon OR a dick into herself)
"Angle it!"
"Point it to your assbone and up!"
"Squat and push!"
"Put one leg up on the toilet seat"
and on and on, with girl after girl yelling in her advice -- the whole while the poor girl is practically in tears, howling in pain and continually asking for new tampons under the door to attempt the process yet AGAIN. One dancer even offered to come in the stall and insert the damned thing FOR her! (she refused)
What finally worked was when I actually DREW a cross-section view of female anatomy out on a bar napkin, complete with markings for "ass/back of body" and "front/vagina" to orient her, along with arrows and trajectory for the insertion, and passed it under the bathroom door for her to examine, along with yet another fresh tampon for yet another try.
That did the trick -- she finally got it in and was overjoyed and amazed. The rest of us were pretty amazed too. I mean, wow. Whodda thunk that a chick would know so little about what her body is like. She had NO clue what the inside of a vagina was structured like, none whatsoever. Never thought of using a tampon until she had to work on a night when her period came. How the hell did a virgin with no clue about her own body ever become a stripper, anyhow?? Just wow.
*******************************
Oh, and this one, I almost forgot:
Stripper #1 to Stripper #2: What is that accent of yours?
Stripper #2: Polish.
Stripper #1: You speak Polish? Wow, that must be a hard language to learn!
Stripper #2, deadpanning: Yes, that's why I left Poland. It's too difficult to speak the national language. Even when some can speak it, they can't read it, it's just that difficult. We have a hard time communicating in my country because of that.
Stripper #1: Oh, wow, that must be why Polish immigrate here, huh? Why don't they just choose an easier national language? Then the Polish wouldn't have to leave, right?
I had to leave the room.
Alaska
08-26-2007, 12:47 AM
^^omfg!! That's better than any Polish jokes...well of course she was being sarcastic right?!?!?!?! That's hysterical.
The tampon one has me in pain from laughing so hard....
Oh and great avatar :)
RedHairedGirl
08-26-2007, 03:58 AM
^^omfg!! That's better than any Polish jokes...well of course she was being sarcastic right?!?!?!?! That's hysterical.
Oh, yeah, Polish girl was totally being sarcastic. She thought that the first girl would catch on that it was stupid to ask someone WITH a Polish accent if Polish was hard to learn -- duh, she was born there, it's her native tongue. When Stripper #2 replied like she did, the Polish girl was just stunned into silence, looked at me, and I just had to leave the room and not make eye contact with anyone to keep from making a truly scathing remark while laughing my ass off. }:D
The tampon one has me in pain from laughing so hard....
God, it had us all in stitches even as it was happening, even as the poor girl was howling in pain and confusion. I mean, how couldn't you? We weren't mean about it, but it went on for about twenty minutes or more, and the more she asked for a new tampon, the more we all cracked up. After she came out, there were like five tampons in the can, all bent and misshapen -- I can only IMAGINE what angle she was trying to push them in at -- it seemed like some were flat out bent in half, like she tried to put them in side-wise or something. Just bizarre!
It was like trying to communicate a difficult calculus equation to her. She just didn't understand what the physics of the situation was at all. In the end, she took it all in stride, and laughed along with us after being embarrassed and shy for a little -- she really is a sweetie pie and was basically just super naive and young. ;D
Oh and great avatar :)
Thanks! Got it from an Aussie guy friend. :P
miss marina
08-26-2007, 04:32 AM
LOL! i love the polish accent one!
StrawberrySwitchblade
08-26-2007, 08:14 AM
As I was walking by the dressing room to the little girl's room, I heard this gem:
Stripper: "And that wasn't the first time I lost my panties while bull-riding."
Jewels69
08-26-2007, 01:17 PM
Here's another good one. A bunch of us were in the dressing room one night and this newbie comes in bitching up a storm that she didn't make that much money this night and how she made all this money at the other club she had just left .She must have gone on for at least 20 minutes. After all of us were sick of hearing it I finally couldn't bite my tongue any longer and I said "Then why are you here? And why did you leave the other club, Go Back!" She stood there going "Aaaa, Aaaa Aaaa, I aaa aaa turned around and walked out. It got quiet for about 30 seconds then we all busted up laughing I nearly peed my pants!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Jewels69
08-26-2007, 03:36 PM
I knew a girl a looonng looonng time ago who thought you got pregnant from kissing! So she did Everything else! After 6 months she was pregnant and couldn't figure out how??!!:O :O :confused: :beady: :D
kelster
08-26-2007, 04:43 PM
Cracked Out Girl on Phone
Girl:Ya I meet you there at my house or whatever sure...
*Pause on phone*
Girl: Aw shit I got my little girl shit...fuck we just go in the next room then I gotta make my money. You gotsta be quite though shit...
Her pimp and her often had conversations where the solution was always putting her child in the father room....she got beat up and fired before I could call child services damn it!:-[
AlexxaHex
08-26-2007, 04:43 PM
the secret to making fifty grand in Hollywood is to go during Christmas.
Which club? Jumbo's? :laughing:
^^omfg!! That's better than any Polish jokes...well of course she was being sarcastic right?!?!?!?! That's hysterical.
The tampon one has me in pain from laughing so hard....
Oh and great avatar :)
Um yah. Polish girl here <---- polish jokes are racist and NOT fucking funny . thank you
Which club? Jumbo's? :laughing:
YOu know when I went in there I didn't drop a ton but we got 5 or 6 dances and then the girl up and left. said it was her best night ever.
totally weird
Jewels69
08-26-2007, 05:48 PM
Don't take it personal its been all in jest and just about every nationality has made it in somewhere in this topic.And I'm sure there are different nationalities viewing these and no one seems to mind. In this wacked out world ya got to be able to laugh even at yourself. Nothing personal has been said because, Only children attack personally.
Um yah. Polish girl here <---- polish jokes are racist and NOT fucking funny . thank you
cameron_keys
08-26-2007, 05:53 PM
Don't take it personal its been all in jest and just about every nationality has made it in somewhere in this topic.And I'm sure there are different nationalities viewing these and no one seems to mind. In this wacked out world ya got to be able to laugh even at yourself. Nothing personal has been said because, Only children attack personally.
Definately. I actually love Irish jokes(I'm Irish). And a lot do have a grain of truth...but that doesnt make them less funny. They are funny BECAUSE of that. People are way too sensitive sometimes. If someone is saying something to be nasty or racist thats one thing..but sometimes a joke is just a joke. Lighten up!
Awesome.
Well my stand is firm on it. I get a lil' tired of hearing how polish people are fucking stupid and we are called names etc.
I'm not turning this thread into a "tart needs to lighten up " or nit picking. Just pointing out,it's not always found in good taste.
Habinairo
08-26-2007, 06:33 PM
It's the same way when people keep saying Natives are drunks! I get sick of hearing it too. I just chalk it up to people not knowing the whole story behind our culture. But it's alos fun to run with it. "Redskin hears sirens and says 'hey cousin! Your ride's here!!'" haha! But it's just making fun of other's ignorance. Sometimes when I hear Don Burnstick (Native comedian), it makes me feel a bit better when I hear really rude comments by those who don't know.
I understand how you feel Tart. And I don't mean to make this into a racist thread or anything.
cameron_keys
08-26-2007, 06:52 PM
But it's just making fun of other's ignorance. .
YES! Thats exactly how I see it. It's highlighting how stupid stereotypes are.
If we got rid off all jokes that were stereotypes or could be offensive to someone...we wouldnt have many jokes left. I laugh at Irish jokes, blonde jokes,stripper jokes..whatever...unless it is blatently coming from a place of hate..funny is funny.
And for the record...Tart I wasnt saying YOU need to lighten up...I was saying people in general need to lighten up
Lysondra
08-26-2007, 11:12 PM
Which club? Jumbo's? :laughing:
Duhhh...
AlexxaHex
08-26-2007, 11:45 PM
Duhhh...
Because, you know, Courtney Love used to work there. And she has big boobs.
velvet
08-27-2007, 12:59 AM
newbie asking the costume lady if she could please sell her ONE shoe.
you must have a single shoe at your shop at least.
are there that many one legged strippers out there that they would have a surplus of single shoes?
RedHairedGirl
08-27-2007, 05:04 AM
Um yah. Polish girl here <---- polish jokes are racist and NOT fucking funny . thank you
Not sure if you realize, but the thing I related wasn't a "Polish joke" #1, and #2, the smart one in the entire scenario was the Polish gal. /:O
I can't help that the actual girl in the scenario had a Polish accent. I wonder if you'd have even noticed/commented if she had, say, a Russian accent but all else remained the same.
Anyhow, I'm with Cameron: I'm a mick/kraut/frog and never take seriously the endless Irish jokes out there (I generally laugh at them) -- and likewise, can pretty much suss out the difference between a comment made of malice and one just meant to rib.
Yekhefah
08-27-2007, 07:48 AM
YOu know when I went in there I didn't drop a ton but we got 5 or 6 dances and then the girl up and left. said it was her best night ever.
I'm sure it was. I've never seen anyone get a lapdance at Jumbo's, it's a stage club! I've heard that they do them, but I hang out there a lot and I've never seen it once.
cameron_keys
08-27-2007, 07:59 AM
I'm sure it was. I've never seen anyone get a lapdance at Jumbo's, it's a stage club! I've heard that they do them, but I hang out there a lot and I've never seen it once.
You have too seen that! When we were there a guy was getting a dance from 2 girls in that little couch closet thing next to us!!
Yekhefah
08-27-2007, 08:06 AM
Really? I didn't notice. I must have been drunk. Or I was just distracted by the hotness of Cameron Keys!
cameron_keys
08-27-2007, 08:10 AM
Really? I didn't notice. I must have been drunk. Or I was just distracted by the hotness of Cameron Keys!
Gee..think we were drunk by then??? We were drinking mystery beer at Jumbos!! I think that qualifies!
tinydancer85
08-27-2007, 09:32 AM
Stripper A: "OMG I'm so happy I finally stopped doing coke at work!"
Stripper B: "Really!?! How did you manage that?"
Stripper A: "Well now I take X instead!"
**WOW because X is so much better then coke!?!?**
(same Stripper A different convo)
Stripper A: "Listen if any of your custo's wanna blowjob just send them to me"
::Then she opens her purse and shows us a bunch of condoms::
Stripper A: "You can also send them to me if they wanna fuck too!"
.....
Me talking to a newbie dancer
Me: "So how did you do tonight? Any better then last night?" (she hadn't made hardly any money the night before)
Newbie: "No I just don't understand how to make money off these guys I'm talking to"
Me: "Well what kind of guys do you talk to normally?"
Newbie: "OH only the young guys, I can't talk to old guys! I mean what would we talk about!?!!? Their pacemakers?!!?"
LMFAO!
StrawberrySwitchblade
08-27-2007, 10:06 AM
Newbie: "OH only the young guys, I can't talk to old guys! I mean what would we talk about!?!!? Their pacemakers?!!?"
:rotfl:
AlexxaHex
08-27-2007, 02:30 PM
New girl: "What do you do when you get your period and you're dancing nude?"
(it must have been her first day dancing nude I guess)
Me: "You wear a tampon and tuck the string inside you. Some girls like to cut it but you have to be careful that you leave some so you can pull it out."
Her: "But how do you get it out?"
Me: "Ummm you reach inside yourself and dig it out."
Her: "Eww I hate the way the inside of my pussy feels."
:O
I'm sure it was. I've never seen anyone get a lapdance at Jumbo's, it's a stage club! I've heard that they do them, but I hang out there a lot and I've never seen it once.
They do it over in the corner by the lil' curtain ( on the right side by the tables ) there is a pole and they basically dance hanging onto that since it's no contact.
The girl was hot though
Not sure if you realize, but the thing I related wasn't a "Polish joke" #1, and #2, the smart one in the entire scenario was the Polish gal. /:O
I can't help that the actual girl in the scenario had a Polish accent. I wonder if you'd have even noticed/commented if she had, say, a Russian accent but all else remained the same.
Anyhow, I'm with Cameron: I'm a mick/kraut/frog and never take seriously the endless Irish jokes out there (I generally laugh at them) -- and likewise, can pretty much suss out the difference between a comment made of malice and one just meant to rib.
I wasn't referring to you.
thanks
LatinaRose
08-27-2007, 03:29 PM
Pissed off girl: "And get strange penis on my face? No thanks!"
Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"
:rotfl:
You guys crack me up!!
Alaska
08-27-2007, 07:24 PM
Didn't see till now, but regarding the "Polish joke thing"....::) yea obviously I'm not racist (maybe it's not obvious on a msg board, who knows) it just reminded me of Polish jokes...personally I've never met anyone that met that stereotype, I actually didn't kno what was so funny until someone told me it was a stereotype, and yea no one is laughing at anything racist over here. Altho ppl make the same kindsa jokes about
"dumb blondes"...now THOSE are funny, some of 'em.;D Altho I might get chewed out for comparing blonde jokes and Polish jokes. However that was a funny fucking conversation the Polish girl had with the other. That's all, thanks.
needtodance
10-06-2007, 02:54 PM
Dancer #1 has new hood piercing.
Dancer #2. Did that hurt?
#1. Not so much as I thought it would...
#2. Can I see?
#1 opens legs
#2. OOOOOOOOOH! But they couldnt do that to me... I don't have that.
#1 While, I DO have a large hood, but i'm sure that its fine...
#2 opens legs.
#2 I mean... WHERE Would they do that! Which one of these is my clitoris?
#1 is dumbstruck. Tries to verbally explain it.
#2 looks confused
#1 points.
#2 So I pee out of that one too? Hey you learn something new every day!
#1 Uh No. Points out clitoris VERY Close so there's no mistake, and hurries out to wash her hands. I think i heard her laughing in the bathroom.
OMFG!
ChristyWild
10-07-2007, 06:26 AM
One of the younger dancers (19 at the time) walked into the DR before her shift to get ready. It was the end of my shift, and I was headed out. She was wearing a t-shirt with a David Bowie print on it. "Hey, cool t-shirt!" I said.She replied:"Oh thanks! I don't know who it's supposed to be, but isn't she pretty?"
OMG! I couldn't stop laughing! lol I had something like this happen. I'd gotten a catalog in the mail and was looking at it while it was slow at work, and was telling one of my coworkers about this cool shirt I'd seen in there that had the whole Abbott & Costello "Who's On First" routine printed on the shirt. This girl, bless her heart, couldn't have been more than 19 or so, asked who Abbott and Costello were. :O Sorry, but I'd thought people knew about the routine at least...I know I like older comedians but geez. lol
i.breathe.in
10-07-2007, 07:02 AM
i about died when a young girl at work told me she didnt know who cindy lauper was....im like....my childhood idol?!
Yekhefah
10-07-2007, 11:00 AM
Oh, I can top that. I was at work once and said I was in the mood to play Billy Idol, and a fully-grown stripper looked at me with a blank expression and said, "Who the fuck is Billy Idol?"
She's been ordered to either do two days in jail or do volunteer work.
"I ain't volunteering cause they tell me to, fuck if I volunteer for something it'll be because I fuckin want to. I'm just gonna go spend a weekend in the jail, they got hot water and flush toilets and I'll, like, fast. It'll be a little detox vacation. You couldn't pay me to feed those fucking lazy people." (in reference to the food bank/soup kitchen).
Danielle_
10-07-2007, 04:04 PM
A surprisingly high number of people seem to have no idea who David Bowie is, which irks me cause he's awesome.
In a similar vein as that. My younger sister was into Marilyn Manson in HS. We went to an amusement park w/ our parents & happened to see someone wearing the Manson shirt where he's wearing the latex to look a woman. So I point out that someone's wearing a Manson shirt & my mother says "I can't believe they're wearing a shirt w/ a naked woman on it". My sister & I started laughing & then tried to explain to her that it actually was a man.
I was working at a store a couple of years ago & another clerk & I were excited that Champagne Supernova came on & we started talking about Oasis. This kid who's all of 17 asks "who's Oasis?". I felt old.