View Full Version : Different Dancers for Different Roles: lap dance, stage dance, and conversation
Katrine
10-02-2007, 01:07 PM
Bem is the douche. You're ok Phil.
Phil-W
10-03-2007, 01:50 PM
Bem is the douche. You're ok Phil.
Thankee kindly ma'am...:hug:
Phil.
pseudomonas
10-03-2007, 06:45 PM
sadly, i seem to always end up as the conversation girl.
although the guys who talk to me usually end up giving me tips while i dance... i'm still jealous of the girls who get the more expensive dances. i like talking and stage dancing more, personally, but its harder to make money that way. i've had guys give me huge tips just to sit and talk to them... but that's few & far between, blah.
miabella
10-03-2007, 07:11 PM
ask to be compensated competitively for your core competency.
in english, if they mainly pay you to talk, ask for more moneys to talk and for more stage tips until you are getting the same moneys as doing dances.
bem401
10-05-2007, 07:19 AM
You're moaning at me for conforming to how the dancers want me to behave.
Duh....
Phil.
Ditto here. I behave exactly how my friends want me to. They like me to be there when it is slow, I buy them a drink if they need one, I visit at the stage if they're being ignored, I'll buy a dance if they're struggling, and I disappear when there are customers around. Funny, they've never told me that was douche-y behavior.
Katrine
10-05-2007, 07:48 AM
Ditto here. I behave exactly how my friends want me to. They like me to be there when it is slow, I buy them a drink if they need one, I visit at the stage if they're being ignored, I'll buy a dance if they're struggling, and I disappear when there are customers around. Funny, they've never told me that was douche-y behavior.
When I was in stripper-mode, I always had a smile on my face and pretended to be polite to everyone. It was good for business, custies like happygirls. But secretly I wanted to break beer bottles over the heads of guys like you bem....with a smile.:D
bem401
10-06-2007, 09:08 AM
When I was in stripper-mode, I always had a smile on my face and pretended to be polite to everyone. It was good for business, custies like happygirls. But secretly I wanted to break beer bottles over the heads of guys like you bem....with a smile.:D
Again, I am not there to please anyone but my friends and myself, so how strippers I have no interest in regard me matters not one iota. I imagine the clubs have plenty of men-hating strippers in there who want to bash beer bottles over the heads of anyone with a Y-chromosome. In fact, several of my friends feel that way on occasion. The ones who might feel that way towards me, like you, simply don't matter to me. They're going to feel that way regardless of whether I'm there or not.
As to your revelation about stripper mode, gee thanks. It never occured to me that some of the girls I don't really know in the club might be being insincere when our paths crossed in the club. This will undoubtedly be invaluable information for me in the future now that I have been enlightened.
Jenny
10-06-2007, 09:47 AM
The ones who might feel that way towards me, like you, simply don't matter to me. Then why have you been spending the last 10 years here justifying yourself? I think you might care a little bit. Look - there is an impasse. People here, by and large, think you have a huge misread of the situation (at least Phil is perfectly cognizant that the fact he does favours is sort of integrally tied into the relationship). You - not surprisingly - think the dancer "really like you." There is nothing we can do to change your behaviour and little we can do to change your outlook from "I'm so cool and popular amongst the exotic dance crowd" to "Wow, I guess I really am a douche." And, unless you start exhibiting some intense charm and interesting conversation, there is not much you can do to change our minds. Like I said - you guys who are REALLY friends with the dancers, and whom the dancer REALLY like and from whom they don't even WANT money need, like, your own thread.
bem401
10-06-2007, 01:18 PM
Then why have you been spending the last 10 years here justifying yourself? I think you might care a little bit. Look - there is an impasse. People here, by and large, think you have a huge misread of the situation (at least Phil is perfectly cognizant that the fact he does favours is sort of integrally tied into the relationship). You - not surprisingly - think the dancer "really like you." There is nothing we can do to change your behaviour and little we can do to change your outlook from "I'm so cool and popular amongst the exotic dance crowd" to "Wow, I guess I really am a douche." And, unless you start exhibiting some intense charm and interesting conversation, there is not much you can do to change our minds. Like I said - you guys who are REALLY friends with the dancers, and whom the dancer REALLY like and from whom they don't even WANT money need, like, your own thread.
Because you've been spending the last 10 years purporting to know everything about the SC world and everything in it.
I only find myself justifying it here. As is typical of you, Jenny, you twist words to fit whatever point you wish to make. Case in point- you seem to be attributing two quotes to me that I never made, but you do that to further your case. The truth of the matter is that very little in this world is black or white. There is a whole lot of gray out there. Every dancer in the world is not like you ( Thank God!) or Kat ( Thank God! ) and not every customer is like me ( Thank God! ). Yet for some reason there is a reluctance to admit that. I guess I should have taken the advice of a couple of dancer friends who think it is a waste of time to post here or even bother reading what others post.
yoda57us
10-06-2007, 02:08 PM
The truth of the matter is that very little in this world is black or white. There is a whole lot of gray out there. Every dancer in the world is not like you ( Thank God!) or Kat ( Thank God! ) and not every customer is like me ( Thank God! ). Yet for some reason there is a reluctance to admit that. I guess I should have taken the advice of a couple of dancer friends who think it is a waste of time to post here or even bother reading what others post.
Bem, dude, lighten up a little. I'm reading the same posts you are and I honestly don't see anyone claiming to be an expert on anything. What I do see are people who have every right to have formed an opinion based on their experiences disagreeing with you and telling you they don't like your approach.
No one is twisting your words, we are commenting (and yes, criticizing) based on our interpretation of those words. Yes, that's what happens on a message board as well. We have a right to read your posts and give our opinions on what we perceive your point to be...it's part of that gray area where opinions happen.
No one is saying that all customers or dancers are the same but what exactly would you like us to admit? There are some things that relatively intelligent human beings just tend understand as a given. Yes, part of every conversation here deals in generalities but eventually it all comes down to individual opinions and, in this case, there are folks here who disagree with you. No one is claiming to be smarter than you or calling you a liar. We just don't agree with you.
There are plenty of sites where you can post whatever you like about how you interact with strippers and the next ten posts will be about something completely different. This site is about interaction.
Bob_Loblaw
10-06-2007, 03:06 PM
The one dancer that I talk with started out as a dancer that I would get dances with, but once I got to know her and we became friends (We've actually hung out outside the club as friends) I stopped getting dances from her entirely because it became creepy for me to be getting dances from someone I considered a friend. I'll tip her $5 when she's on stage but other than that I don't pay her for her time.
I've never been a regular of a dancer who was strictly a conversation dancer from the beginning. Most had transitioned from a lap dance dancer to a conversation dancer. However, I would continue to get dances from them even when they became CDs. Most regulars are good for X number of dances per visit with a particular dancer. Whatever the average X number was for me and said dancer, I would get the same number of dances (or VIP) as I had previously and use that time for conversation time. Despite the fact they may be friends in the club or even in real life, they still are at the club to work. Yes, many dancers have told me the drinks and tips are not necessary too but often this is a case where the saying "when she says no, it means yes" applies.
bem401
10-08-2007, 12:58 PM
Bem, dude, lighten up a little. I'm reading the same posts you are and I honestly don't see anyone claiming to be an expert on anything. What I do see are people who have every right to have formed an opinion based on their experiences disagreeing with you and telling you they don't like your approach.
No one is twisting your words, we are commenting (and yes, criticizing) based on our interpretation of those words. Yes, that's what happens on a message board as well. We have a right to read your posts and give our opinions on what we perceive your point to be...it's part of that gray area where opinions happen.
No one is saying that all customers or dancers are the same but what exactly would you like us to admit? There are some things that relatively intelligent human beings just tend understand as a given. Yes, part of every conversation here deals in generalities but eventually it all comes down to individual opinions and, in this case, there are folks here who disagree with you. No one is claiming to be smarter than you or calling you a liar. We just don't agree with you.
There are plenty of sites where you can post whatever you like about how you interact with strippers and the next ten posts will be about something completely different. This site is about interaction.
I expect some people to disagree with me or me to disagree with them. I have no problem with that. One member of your mutual admiration society put quotation marks around things I never said and attributed them to me ( twisting of words ) and another resorts to name-calling ( which is what people generally do when they can't make a logical argument for their position ) . I wouldn't expect anyone to tolerate my doing either of those things, but then again I am not looking to insult people. I'll leave that to Mr. P.
yoda57us
10-08-2007, 02:38 PM
One member of your mutual admiration society put quotation marks around things I never said and attributed them to me ( twisting of words ) and another resorts to name-calling ( which is what people generally do when they can't make a logical argument for their position )
Believe it or not I Bem don't have even the smallest inclination to go back and re-read this thread looking for quotation marks that where probably used for effect and not in an attempt to misquote you. As for Kat calling you names, hey, that's my girl! She made her point and her position quite clear before she started calling you a douche. The name calling is Kat's cute little way of punctuating her thoughts with visual imagery.
Mutual admiration society? You are giving me way too much cred here Bem. But I will admit that I see eye to eye with dancers quite a bit more than with customers.
bem401
10-09-2007, 07:20 AM
Believe it or not I Bem don't have even the smallest inclination to go back and re-read this thread looking for quotation marks that where probably used for effect and not in an attempt to misquote you. As for Kat calling you names, hey, that's my girl! She made her point and her position quite clear before she started calling you a douche. The name calling is Kat's cute little way of punctuating her thoughts with visual imagery.
Mutual admiration society? You are giving me way too much cred here Bem. But I will admit that I see eye to eye with dancers quite a bit more than with customers.
Yoda I believe you 100% when you say you have no inclination to go back and look for the quotes for two reasons. Number one: its pointless; and number two: you probably realize I have a point. I always thought quotation marks were used to quote people. To use them differently at the very least can be misleading. As for the name calling, would you consider it "my cute little way of punctuating my thoughts with visual imagery" if I were to throw some less-than-complimentary terms directed at dancers into my posts? Of course not. ( please note the proper use of quotation marks ) .
As far as agreeing or disagreeing with dancers is concerned, I generally agree with what dancers ( and you, for that matter ) post but sometimes I don't. I don't ever recall you disagreeing with either Jen or Kat but like you I am not inclined to scour the board looking for instances where that happened.
Jenny
10-09-2007, 07:40 AM
Uh huh - however as this is not a formal paper, sometimes people are facetious and expect it to be understood as such. Sometimes they even recruit punctuation marks into their satire. I know - it's terribly confusing to those with no sense of humour.
And... well, Kat is a lot more charming than I am. But Yoda and I have had some full out knock-downs over on the blue side. We have a fundamental disagreement on feminism and how it intersects with sexuality. It's not a matter of we always agree. It is a matter of we can disagree and still be nice to each other (afterwards).
bem401
10-09-2007, 08:21 AM
Uh huh - however as this is not a formal paper, sometimes people are facetious and expect it to be understood as such. Sometimes they even recruit punctuation marks into their satire. I know - it's terribly confusing to those with no sense of humour.
And... well, Kat is a lot more charming than I am. But Yoda and I have had some full out knock-downs over on the blue side. We have a fundamental disagreement on feminism and how it intersects with sexuality. It's not a matter of we always agree. It is a matter of we can disagree and still be nice to each other (afterwards).
I was not aware of any knock-downs, they must have pre-dated my arrival on this board, but I will take your word for it. Having a disagreement and remaining friends afterwards is great, but somehow I doubt either of you resorted to name-calling during your disagreement(s).
My understanding is that facetious comments are not to be taken literally whereas quotes are meant to be taken verbatim. There seems to be a contradiction. I don't see where a sense of humor ( or lack thereof) comes into play .
Jenny
10-09-2007, 08:32 AM
Because. It's a message board where we are sometimes facetious - really, you may have noticed that we prize a pithy, humourous style way above content. And sometimes we use quotation marks to further facetious remark or a humourous deconstruction and expect everyone to know that we are not writing a formal paper. That understanding is most difficult for those who lack a sense of humour. I'm not accusing you. I'm just saying.
As for remaining friends - Yoda and I are both funny and not... you know... douche-y. That just makes it all easy.
bem401
10-09-2007, 08:55 AM
Because. It's a message board where we are sometimes facetious - really, you may have noticed that we prize a pithy, humourous style way above content. And sometimes we use quotation marks to further facetious remark or a humourous deconstruction and expect everyone to know that we are not writing a formal paper. That understanding is most difficult for those who lack a sense of humour. I'm not accusing you. I'm just saying.
As for remaining friends - Yoda and I are both funny and not... you know... douche-y. That just makes it all easy.
It's all in the eye of the beholder I suppose.
And from now on I'll have to condition myself to realize that those quotation marks aren't there to actually quote anyone, but to provide an opportunity to be facetious.
Jenny
10-09-2007, 09:09 AM
Yes, it goes back to having a sense of humour and being able to judge when people are kidding or making a joke and when they are intended to be literal. Very difficult, I know. For example, if I said in a post
and you're just responding "nyah, nyah, I'm right and you're wrong"
a reasonable person would be expected to know that I'm mocking the person "quoted". (that wasn't a quotation either. Those are known as "scare quotes". Those ones too) and not directly quoting them. I know - judgment is a scary thing for some people.
I wouldn't suggest that you try to learn to understand it or exercise that kind of judgment. You might hurt yourself. Just continue on as you have been. Really, I don't think there is much you can do at this point to change anyone's opinion of you anyway.
Katrine
10-09-2007, 11:24 AM
This thread gives me a headache.
SportsWriter2
10-09-2007, 12:10 PM
This thread gives me a headache.
Well, it's not like you didn't want to break a beer bottle over someone else's head. Squeeze a stress ball... :-\
yoda57us
10-09-2007, 05:12 PM
Yoda I believe you 100% when you say you have no inclination to go back and look for the quotes for two reasons. Number one: its pointless; and number two: you probably realize I have a point.
No, but I do have a life....
I always thought quotation marks were used to quote people. To use them differently at the very least can be misleading.
Well Bem, I don't know what to tell you except that your preferred usage of punctuation is your business, others may choose to do things a little differently. That doesn't make it wrong and it doesn't mean that they are intentionally attempting to miss quote you. A little less paranoia would do you good here...
As for the name calling, would you consider it "my cute little way of punctuating my thoughts with visual imagery" if I were to throw some less-than-complimentary terms directed at dancers into my posts? Of course not. ( please note the proper use of quotation marks ) .
Dude, you need to grow a sense of humor...You could try calling dancers names here but you would be banned....
Katrine
10-09-2007, 06:17 PM
Well, it's not like you didn't want to break a beer bottle over someone else's head. Squeeze a stress ball... :-\
I'm so stressed out, I really want to cry. But nothing comes out. My heart is black. I have so much shit to do. :-\
yoda57us
10-09-2007, 06:38 PM
I'm so stressed out, I really want to cry. But nothing comes out. My heart is black. I have so much shit to do. :-\
Hmmmm...sounds like me when I need to get fu...well you know...
You're a smart woman Kat. Don't try and do everything at once. Step up onto the proverbial balcony and take a look at what is going on in your life as sort of an "impartial observer". Figure out what is most important right now and try to deal with that...prioritize.
OK, admittedly, I'm not very good at this advice thing.../:O
bem401
10-10-2007, 06:46 AM
Well Bem, I don't know what to tell you except that your preferred usage of punctuation is your business, others may choose to do things a little differently. That doesn't make it wrong and it doesn't mean that they are intentionally attempting to miss quote you. A little less paranoia would do you good here...
Actually, it does make it wrong, at least grammatically, especially when it comes from someone who seems of otherwise reasonable intelligence. Paranoia involves seeing or sensing things that in fact do not exist, but those quotes around words attributed to me were real while the words themselves were not.
Dude, you need to grow a sense of humor...You could try calling dancers names here but you would be banned....
Duh, that was sort of my point, and I'll promise to try to grow a sense of humor if you promise to put down the pom-poms once in a while.
Katrine
10-10-2007, 09:33 AM
Yoda, yoda, he's our man, if he can't do it, no one can!!!
yoda57us
10-10-2007, 01:27 PM
Duh, that was sort of my point, and I'll promise to try to grow a sense of humor if you promise to put down the pom-poms once in a while.
I don't make promises I can't keep BEM. I'm too old to change and frankly having way too much fun to even think about it.
yoda57us
10-10-2007, 01:28 PM
Yoda, yoda, he's our man, if he can't do it, no one can!!!
I've never been much for cheerleader fantasies Kat, but I'm having a warm fuzzy moment right know just thinking about your pom poms }:D;)
pinups4
12-04-2017, 06:19 AM
I have had a couple dancers who I became friends with that we stopped at the tipping game. However it's up to them to stop it. Literally I would have them a tip and they would shove it back in my face that's when you know you can stop tripping but overall it sounds like you're running it pretty well she knows when she can visit you and you don't push the visits And you get your pay from somewhere else so she doesn't feel awkward. I think everyone else is giving a static because it's not the way their experience goes everyone's experience is different
rickdugan
12-04-2017, 07:39 PM
The last post in this thread was a decade ago. I know that things have been a bit more relaxed here recently (which is a good thing IMHO), but even still...
Maybe start a new thread?
Bahuba
12-06-2017, 12:21 PM
Plus to my understanding Yoda has passed, so it seems appropriate to start a new thread. Rick you knew him way better than I ever did, am I correct in my understanding? Pinups perhaps take Rick's suggestion and start a new thread.
rickdugan
12-11-2017, 03:18 PM
Plus to my understanding Yoda has passed, so it seems appropriate to start a new thread. Rick you knew him way better than I ever did, am I correct in my understanding? Pinups perhaps take Rick's suggestion and start a new thread.
Sorry I didn't see this earlier. Yes, Yoda passed away.