Log in

View Full Version : Brother stole $$ from me: WWYD?



Pages : 1 [2]

ahmeerah
06-22-2007, 02:04 PM
I wouldn't press charges either. But I'd cut him out of my life.

Since you seem to be the one he relies on the most, he'll feel the withdrawal.:hug:

Andygirl
06-22-2007, 02:56 PM
I would not press charges over $80 or whatever it was. There would have to be a history of that type of thing for me to consider inviting the law into the situation.

Roulette
06-22-2007, 04:39 PM
I keep thinking about this and being torn... If he really is showing initiative in turning his life around pressing charges will really mess him up and the cycle will continue. But then he stole from you which shows to me that he isnt being serious about this. but on the other hand old habits die hard.... if charges arent pressed he should be cut off, never give him anything and if he complains remind him he did it to himself and that these are the consequences of his actions, and I hope he thinks that $80 was worth it.

greenidlady1
06-22-2007, 05:33 PM
Sounds like he sabotages anything good that comes his way, which may be a reason he ends up in some of the predicaments he has. Is he messing with drugs at all? I know people who will steal from anybody, it doesn't matter who, when it comes to a fix. I would cancel the card and order a new one. I wouldn't accept any calls from him or speak to him. Let him know why you are refusing to speak to him then don't take anymore calls at all. Life, I am presuming isn't easy for you either and you have to work for every penny you make. It's time he starts working for his as well.

cinammonkisses
06-22-2007, 05:45 PM
Im going to call the bank tomorrow and see what the status is on viewing those tapes.

Green:

I actually do not know if Chris is on drugs or not. But I do know that their father (Chris & my brothers dad) has had a 20 year history of drug use (crack cocaine). Hes been in and out of jail their entire life.

greenidlady1
06-22-2007, 05:57 PM
Yeah, that certainly doesn't help him. Does he speak to his father at all now? My family has a similiar problem with my cousin. He is addicted to cocaine and crystal meth. His parents own a wrecker business and tried to hire him for work and give him a roof over his head, he's in his mid-thirties, he has stole from them several times and they end up taking him back after they "think" he has straightened his life out. I guess it's hard to let him go but then again he has to learn to stand on his own and not use other's as a crutch.

Katrine
06-22-2007, 06:30 PM
Sorry about this cinn. This reminds me of my little bro. He stole from me and my family. He stole some credit cards that my parents had gotten in my name that they were keeping in my dad's office. Yes, it was shitty enough that I found out about the cards. Then my bro stole them and charged shit to them like new Nike's, bar tabs, AND a massage parlor in Houston (aka whorehouse.)

I was ready to press charges but my mama bailed him out again by begging me not to. For a while I thought he was also antisocial, as he did shit like that. Truly, he is a manipulator to this day. BUT, he's gotten a lot better and now has a steady job he likes (although I believe he still runs weed on the side.)

Point is, its a gamble. Are you willing to let him continue walking all over you until he learns, if indeed he ever does? But I really do feel for your situation, I've been there and its a horrible feeling to have your own family do that. I was never strong enough to cut mine off.

Dottie Rebel
06-22-2007, 07:38 PM
True.

I think I was ranting at more along the lines of people that think "Oh it's family, I would never turn the law on them (etc) no matter WHAT."

Rant if you like. You must believe that the justice system is fair and untainted. I do not.

Not everyone goes about things in the same way. Some families prefer to govern themselves rather than have government they don't support do so. Refusing to turn your own family over to the law is NOT saying you don't believe they ought to be held accountable for their actions and be allowed to run amok. I'm just not going to throw my family to the justice system as it's fucked.

BrunetteGoddess
06-22-2007, 07:41 PM
Um, no I do not believe the justice system is fair and untainted. Do not assume.

Dottie Rebel
06-22-2007, 07:44 PM
Um, no I do not believe the justice system is fair and untainted. Do not assume.

But fair enough that you'd trust your family to it?

BrunetteGoddess
06-22-2007, 07:50 PM
Yes. I have had family members fuck up royally to the point we as a family could no longer help them. It took our "imperfect" justice system to straighten one of my cousins out, but now he is totally changed, and he fully admits nothing else would have turned him around.

Dottie Rebel
06-22-2007, 07:59 PM
Hmmm...everyone has different experiences, I suppose.

Lena
06-22-2007, 08:09 PM
My aunt ended up coming over during our conversation with my baby brother (15yr old) , so I kinda dropped the subject.

Cinn, whatever you do I think this level of denial is really unhealthy. Your willingness to just pretend nothing happened for your aunt is related in some way to his willingness to just pretend he didn't do it, and his belief that you'll pretend along with him.

TheSexKitten
06-22-2007, 11:53 PM
^^ Agreed, Lena.

sleepyboy
06-23-2007, 12:37 AM
Don't press charges.

If he is doing it for drugs/alcohol that is the real problem. If he is doing it for drugs and alcohol then a talking to won't do much. If it is for drugs/alcohol the end justifies the means totally.

cinammonkisses
06-23-2007, 08:03 AM
Cinn, whatever you do I think this level of denial is really unhealthy. Your willingness to just pretend nothing happened for your aunt is related in some way to his willingness to just pretend he didn't do it, and his belief that you'll pretend along with him.

You're right. When he ended up leaving, I told my little brother that I was mad at Chris. I told him I'd tell him about it later. I explained the entire situation to him, but I also told him that I didn't want him to feel as if I were trying to make him choose between believing/agreeing with me over Chris.

I'm done pretending, he's not allowed over to my house ever again. And I will press charges once the camera footage comes back.

jose3030
06-23-2007, 08:06 AM
Just distance yourself over time... Good luck w/ that.

Chrissy68
06-23-2007, 01:06 PM
CK i think what lena said is dead on. i hope they get the camera footage back soon. and you know, i thikn that you do need to teach him a lesson becaus eobv he shows no remorse or guilt, and that screams that something is really wrong. hopefully he will get some help somewhere along the way.

AmberHoney
06-24-2007, 07:42 PM
This is so sad. I think you need to probably go ahead and press charges. Family shouldn't get a free pass to abuse us just because they're family. It doesn't make it easier to forgive, it makes it worse.

Roulette
06-24-2007, 07:45 PM
hope the footage comes back soon and is decernible.

Lena
06-24-2007, 08:17 PM
*hugs*

Keep us updated, okay?

Lysondra
06-25-2007, 04:27 AM
Update, babydoll?

Roulette
06-25-2007, 08:20 PM
^^^ I concur.