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sun child
02-24-2008, 05:02 AM
"I want you to sit on my face." (at the rack, in front of his two friends. Alright dude.)

head turner
02-24-2008, 07:47 AM
Yup. It was this one, "Party Girl" (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0099/0099_01.asp) - guess it's only the girls who need to behave.


Creepy indeed. I can't stop laughing for some reason though.}:D }:D

MissAlethea
02-25-2008, 04:37 AM
I was onstage last night, and dude was holding out a dollar like it's the last one in the world (you know that look, the "I'm a smug bastard" one). I do my little dance, hold out my garter.
Dude: I need you to smack it for me!
Me: Smack what? <----*genuinely confused*
Dude: You know, smack it!
*This exchange happens a few more times, I grow weary of it*
Me: Mmmmkay.... *slaps at the dollar, holds out garter again*
Dude: *bewildered look*
Me: Pronouns, dude. Pronouns. Now gimme the damned dollar already.
(Turns out he meant my ass, but apparently couldn't figure out how to say so...::))

Yekhefah
02-27-2008, 11:30 AM
Last night I was onstage and this dude comes up with a serious expression and a dollar bill in his mouth. He sat on the stage, not even looking interested but sucking that dollar bill like it was candy. I kept dancing and watched him for a little while, and after about half a song, I said, "Whatcha got that dollar in your mouth for?"

"I'm gonna give it to you," he said.

I laughed and kept dancing. A full song later he was still sucking on the dollar bill, so I said, "What did you put on that dollar to make it so delicious? It sure must be tasty!"

"No, I'm gonna give it to you," he said. I laughed and said that was all right, I didn't want it after he'd had it in his mouth like that. Moved down to the other end of the stage and danced for someone else. Dollar Sucker eventually took the bill out of his mouth to put it away, and it was visibly wet in the middle. Ew!

Just put it on the tip rail, dumbass. I don't need it sauced up first.

RebeccaSolidarity
02-27-2008, 12:11 PM
Eeeeeeeeew!

Eeeeeeeeew on so many levels!

Zinaida
02-27-2008, 12:27 PM
Disgusting. Sucking on paper much less the kind that's renowned for its filth.

Yekhefah
02-27-2008, 12:30 PM
I know. Money's so dirty! I guess he wanted me to take it with my tits or something, but I'd just done a VIP and made decent money and his wet nasty dollar just wasn't that appealing to me at that particular moment. He seemed bewildered that I wouldn't take it.

iambonbon05
02-27-2008, 12:41 PM
^^ Make it a 50 and maybe we'd think about it?

Ha, I hate it when guys do retarded stuff with their $1. It's really not THAT precious.

Zinaida
02-27-2008, 12:43 PM
I just think it's hysterical how erotic he thought he looked sucking on the bill lol.

Perry
02-27-2008, 12:47 PM
Fugly old man, "I've got a hotel room in town, wanna come back with me?"
Dancer, "I'm not a prostitute."
Customer, "I never said I would PAY for it!"

Yekhefah
02-27-2008, 12:59 PM
^^^ :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Silky
02-27-2008, 01:06 PM
I am a redhead....I just love when grown men giggle and ask me "do the carpets match the drapes?"
It's even more funny to the guy when he is with his buddies.

Seriously...the same thing happened to me in 8th grade by the little pesty boys in my school yard...sad it happens by grown men.

Yekhefah
02-27-2008, 01:09 PM
Ohhh yeah. I've been a redhead for all of two weeks now and I get that multiple times a night. I don't like the mismatched look so I shave it all off, and my answer is that carpets are out of style, I have smooth laminate flooring in my place.

Silky
02-27-2008, 01:19 PM
haha thats a good one...i say something similar to floors. i say ..well i could but i prefer my barewood floors. They eat it up and it usually gets me a sale.

Fionaver
02-27-2008, 03:05 PM
Was doing this dance for this older black guy, when he told me to "Spread 'em."

Naturally, I assumed that he meant my ass cheeks and/or legs. (I work at a nude club.)

I informed him that we aren't supposed to spread our legs more than shoulders-width apart. But he told me I was wrong and kept hounding me to "Spread 'em" after that.

:confused:

Finally, after dance #2, he explained that what he wanted for me to spread was in the front. Apparently he wanted for me to grab my inner thighs and pull them apart so he could get a clear view of my naughty bits. :O :-[ And he and his friend told me that I needed to do this during all my dances.

Gross, dude... Thanks for telling me how to do my fucking job.>:( I play the whole demure, innocent type at work, so come-and-get-it doesn't work so hot.

Pretty_Penny
02-27-2008, 07:11 PM
I am a redhead....I just love when grown men giggle and ask me "do the carpets match the drapes?"
It's even more funny to the guy when he is with his buddies.

Seriously...the same thing happened to me in 8th grade by the little pesty boys in my school yard...sad it happens by grown men.

i get it all the time (my color is OBVIOUSLY not real, but i -am- actually a redhead).

this is how i respond. it's a bit cheesey, and is said with an obviously cheesey/sarcastic/fun tone (not serious).

customer: does the carpet match the drapes
me: there is no carpet
customer: oohhhhhh
me: you wouldn't happen to have any hard wood would you? *wink*

i'm full of god awful puns.

Yekhefah
02-27-2008, 07:21 PM
^^^ That's fucking awesome!!

LadyLuck
02-27-2008, 07:21 PM
The one that make me roll my eyes the most is when they try and say they don't pay for dances. Like they get them for free or something. Ya right, buddy. Sure you do. NOT!

Amber_Sparxx
03-25-2008, 09:33 PM
"You don't want my drapes to match my carpet, honey. By that rationale, I'd be bald." Overheard by a co-worker last night at work. Made me think of this thread.

cameron_keys
03-26-2008, 12:17 AM
Said by TWO separate guys tonight who followed me all night without tipping a dollar,buying a single dance or even offering to buy me a drink...

"Every time I sit next to you you move to the other side of the club...??"

Umm...duh cheap fuck..take the hint.

Crow2
03-26-2008, 12:43 AM
Me; would you like a dance honey?

Him; goes off into this long and really stupid tirade about how he was decieved and or tricked into getting two two for ones. He was bitching about the price because as he put it, most all lds in this part of the country were twenty dollars and he thought that meant they were ten.

I polietly explained the price and how it was announced across the sound system how much they were and perhaps he zhould of asked the lady in question.

So. It gets to the point where he's trying to offer me money, which I refuse.

My question is, even if dances were twenty a pop, its still the same eighty bucks and how does one get ten from twenty?

Errh, duh?

kaiarose
03-26-2008, 12:09 PM
"I want you to sit on my face." (at the rack, in front of his two friends. Alright dude.)



"Really? I just farted you know."

Laylalust
03-26-2008, 01:00 PM
I got "what does your cunt taste like" the other night. I replied that that was something he was never going to find out.

oh, and that's directly from the movie 'Closer' too. I bet he thought he was real original with that. ::)

cameron_keys
03-26-2008, 01:28 PM
why does this thread keep saying there are new posts,but when I click it Crows is always the last?

Zinaida
03-26-2008, 01:52 PM
^^Same here.

Lysondra
03-26-2008, 06:27 PM
I'm noticing this... it seems posts everywhere are fucking up. It's The Random Thread's REVENGE!

AlexxaHex
03-26-2008, 07:16 PM
OMG I was posting in that thread all along and I didn't even know it was haunted!

Crow2
03-26-2008, 11:23 PM
I got "what does your cunt taste like" the other night. I replied that that was something he was never going to find out.

oh, and that's directly from the movie 'Closer' too. I bet he thought he was real original with that. ::)

Its because I'm specul Cameron (kidding )

And I got that tonight. My reply was shame you'll never find out. The jackass got up and left my stage. Oooooh! The pain of that one dollar loss. Ow. Moan. Yeah .

BalletBaby
03-26-2008, 11:33 PM
I'm noticing this... it seems posts everywhere are fucking up. It's The Random Thread's REVENGE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw

or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lXL7HflU1Q&NR=1

cameron_keys
03-27-2008, 08:18 AM
So yesterday on the webcam I'm chatting with this guy. Starts normal...then he says
"marry me". I get that a lot so I giggle and laugh it off. He gets insistant "MARRY ME". I say WTF? You arent serious? He says "yes...I came on here looking for a wife...I think you are IT"
So I tell him its insane to come on an adult webcam site looking for a wife. He gets all offended and says "FINE..bye then"

WTH??

Oh..and he said I would be stupid not to marry him because he is 29 and has millions in the bank. Ummm..yeah. Millionaire who needs to find a stranger to be his wife on an internet webcam site??? Sure..why not.

Zinaida
03-27-2008, 08:40 AM
OMG shit like that makes me wonder about the people I pass in stores every day lol....

RoseLeigh
03-27-2008, 09:52 AM
So yesterday on the webcam I'm chatting with this guy. Starts normal...then he says
"marry me". I get that a lot so I giggle and laugh it off. He gets insistant "MARRY ME". I say WTF? You arent serious? He says "yes...I came on here looking for a wife...I think you are IT"
So I tell him its insane to come on an adult webcam site looking for a wife. He gets all offended and says "FINE..bye then"

WTH??

Oh..and he said I would be stupid not to marry him because he is 29 and has millions in the bank. Ummm..yeah. Millionaire who needs to find a stranger to be his wife on an internet webcam site??? Sure..why not.

I'm never sure if guys are desparate or what. I had some guy in the CR the other day who was determined that I would be 'his mami' and go back to Mexico with him and stuff. Dude, I could be an underage crackho. I could have 7 children. Your cat could hate me.

Sometimes I think THEY think it's what we want to hear. I almost want to take someone up on it, see what happens. (no, not actually marry them)

NewMoon
03-27-2008, 04:26 PM
Not a stupid comment....... but when he handed me the money for my dance, he handed me Canadian twenty dollar bills with the Queen on it and said "5 ugly faces for a pretty face. I think it was worth it." hehe :)

sexysunny
03-27-2008, 10:21 PM
its not really saying but actions instead. for some reason in paris every once in a while i go up to some guys and ask if anyone wants a dance and the loser of the group moves his eyes down and up my body and just shakes his head and says no. it has only happened in paris. i'm hot god damn it!

Pretty_Penny
03-27-2008, 11:45 PM
its not really saying but actions instead. for some reason in paris every once in a while i go up to some guys and ask if anyone wants a dance and the loser of the group moves his eyes down and up my body and just shakes his head and says no. it has only happened in paris. i'm hot god damn it!

that happens to -all- of us hun.

sometimes these idiots forget (or don't care) that we aren't cars for sale on a lot. we have *gasp* feelings.

rozz
03-28-2008, 05:00 PM
that happens to -all- of us hun.

sometimes these idiots forget (or don't care) that we aren't cars for sale on a lot. we have *gasp* feelings.

LIES! We're fembots powered by coke. Feelings? Bah! I mock your attempt at humanizing strippas! ;D

TheTempest
03-28-2008, 05:05 PM
LIES! We're fembots powered by coke. Feelings? Bah! I mock your attempt at humanizing strippas! ;D

Wait, as fembots wouldn't we have machine gun jubblies???

Ooo, wait until the next ass-grabbing guy finds out!

cameron_keys
03-29-2008, 01:48 AM
"So...tell me more about yourself"...from a guy that hadnt spent a dollar and ordered himself a drink and not me
me:"why?"
him..with a cocky smug expression "because I"m like thisclose to asking you out and I need to know more first...you might get to ride in my Escalade"

me:"random dudes asking me out happens like 398689467 a night...that isnt a GOOD thing...and Escalades are ghetto and lame and overcompensating for a tiny penis"


other dude who has been staring t me while I talked to his friend and has professed his undying love for me(again...without giving me a dollar...this time..because the "birthday girl"..who we will get to later...would be mad at him) "heres my card..seriously call me..I want you to get a passport to travel with me and come to the boat show tomorrow and help me pick out a boat.
He didnt understand why I wasnt excited about this.


And this should prob be in "bitchy things dancers say" but whatever it goes with this story. I come out of the dressing room.she's on his lap. I dont care...I was talking to his friends anyway. But they bought a bottle and told me to help myself. SO I pour myself a drink(at this point I REALLY need one) and sit down..away from B-day bitch and perv. B=day bitch leans over and says "and WHO are YOU?"
me: "Cameron..who are you?" (shes new)
her: "I'M the BIRTHDAY girl" said with a ghetto attitude
me: "ok..well happy birthday"
her" how long have you know my FRIEND Steve here?"
me: "bout 1/2 an hour"

As I turn my chair away(after seeing the friends I was talking to are gone) to drink my drink and smoke a cigarette..I hear her LOUDLY bitch to him how it's HER BIRTHDAY and she should only have who SHE wants around her

Ummm..yeah...stay your ass in your ghetto apartment and you ca do that..come to MY club where I have senority and no...fuck you. I'll sit wherever I want. If someone says go ahead help yourself out of my bottle because I love you..I"m gonna if I want a drink.

Keep it up bitch..one call to the owner and I'll have you fired.
I was waiting for her to start shit in the DR just so I COULD pull my seniority card and chuck her out.
But she sat with her no-spending buddy(while he stared at me and ducked away whenever he could to tell me to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE call him because he Looooooooves me) while I went and made my money.

have fun defending your cheap ass.Buying a bottle is lovely. Buying a bottle without giving $$ to the girls ..see ya

Amber_Sparxx
03-30-2008, 01:33 PM
Not a stupid comment....... but when he handed me the money for my dance, he handed me Canadian twenty dollar bills with the Queen on it and said "5 ugly faces for a pretty face. I think it was worth it." hehe :)

This would've made me smile....granted, it's a little cheesy, but I like cheesy when it's not overdone. In fact, I smiled when I read it. ;D

Yekhefah
04-14-2008, 05:57 PM
So I'm onstage bopping around today and walks in looking like the cat dragged him in off the wharf. He sits at the bar RIGHT next to the stage and orders a beer, mentioning that he's just been on a train for four days from New York. I make small chitchat and he gets this condescending sneer and goes, "You don't know who I am, do you?"

Oh Lord, I think, not another one of these. "Well no, babe, you just walked in here. My name's Lily, what's yours?" I offered my hand to shake.

He ignores my hand and sneers some more. "Ever heard of the band ALICE IN CHAINS?"

I nod. "Yep, sure have. Are you in it?" He nods self-importantly, puffing out his chest. "That's great!" I say cheerfully, even though I'm groaning inside. "What do you play?"

He narrows his eyes. "You know the DRUMMER?" I shake my head no, and he puffs up even more with a self-satisfied nod. "Yeah. Well. NOW you do."

"Ooh," I say, unable to take anymore. "So what've you been doing lately?"

He grumbles and says he's not going to watch the stage. "Don't get me wrong, you're fuckin' beautiful and everything, but I'm just here to get drunk. So uh... just come over when you're done up there and we'll get drunk together."

I'm bored onstage and there's no one else in the bar, so I shrug and grin and say, "Well, you could buy a lady a drink right now if you wanted to!"

He snorts. "Yeah, right. I know that scam. Buy the lady a drink. You can just buy your own drink, and maybe we'll see how that goes."

I couldn't stop laughing. Later he wouldn't give me a dollar for the jukebox unless I promised to play Alice In Chains. I just grinned and said, "Ohhh, I don't think we have it in here." I played Black Rebel Motorcycle Club instead and he finished his drink and stormed out. Douchebag.

What, you think we're all going to fall all over you because you were in a lame band 20 years ago? This is Portland, babe. Everybody and his grandma is in a band, and most of them are in better bands than you. Come back in when you grow a personality.

TheTempest
04-14-2008, 09:46 PM
^What a dick! I never notice the drummers of famous bands. I have got a huge hardon for the guitarists though, and singers. Drummers are sort of inconsequential in my world.

And you should have told him how useless he is. Especially inside your club. He knows all those tricks ... 'cause they're working in opposition to his tricks that are meant to get you to sleep with him 'cause he says he plays with Alice in Chains

Yekhefah
04-14-2008, 09:54 PM
Exactly. If he'd gone into most other clubs, I bet the young dancers wouldn't even have heard of Alice In Chains! I can't name a single one of their songs, myself. I really have zero interest in long-haired men, scruffy men, musicians, or celebrities, so I guess I pissed him off by not acting suitably impressed. Maybe he found a better ego-stroke somewhere else.

I did want to ask him, though... riding a train for four days from New York to Portland? They don't even fly you anywhere anymore? No wonder he's so bitter.

velvet
04-14-2008, 10:47 PM
"Ooh," I say, unable to take anymore. "So what've you been doing lately?"
lol!


What, you think we're all going to fall all over you because you were in a lame band 20 years ago? This is Portland, babe. Everybody and his grandma is in a band, and most of them are in better bands than you. Come back in when you grow a personality.
very, very funny


Exactly. If he'd gone into most other clubs, I bet the young dancers wouldn't even have heard of Alice In Chains! I can't name a single one of their songs, myself.

i know right?

Susan Wayward
04-14-2008, 11:12 PM
Oh, how excellent. You have to pass that along to a music gossip blog.

curvycutie817
04-14-2008, 11:26 PM
Lexi (me!): *sitting at the bar, nibbling (ill-advised) chicken strips*
Dude: *walks up with his friend* Woah! You're hot!
L: Thanks! I'm Lexi!
Dude: Hi! I'm your future ex-husband.
L: ...

haha me and my boyfriend say that when introducing eachother! (as a joke) like hey this is my future ex wife, sarah:D

curvycutie817
04-14-2008, 11:30 PM
custy: so when do you work?

me: tuesdays, wednesdays, and fridays

custy: good i can stalk you now

me: blank stare

dangerousdiva
04-15-2008, 12:11 AM
Exactly. If he'd gone into most other clubs, I bet the young dancers wouldn't even have heard of Alice In Chains! I can't name a single one of their songs, myself.

Oh, I loved Alice in Chains! You've never heard Nutshell? He's proabably bitter because they suck now since Layne Staley passed away in 2002 RIP :'(

I agree do pass it on to music gossip blogs!

BalletBaby
04-15-2008, 12:38 AM
^^^I still like Alice in Chains. Well, their original stuff, at least.

fantasiarene
04-15-2008, 01:04 AM
custie-- I'll give you $50 to fart for me
me-- sorry baby i can't

Come to find out he wanted one of the girls to queef for him. I think all the girls were asked about that.

Saturday night I got called off stage to waitress since neither one of our waitresses had shown up and I was the only one our dj trusts to do it. (he calls me sis). I wasn't making anything so i did. the convo went like this with one fat redneck guy

me: would you like another bud light?
fat boy: sure
(come back with bottle)
me: that'll be $3.50
fat boy: since i gave you $4 last time let me give you $3 and we'll call it even
me: sorry but i cant do that. It's $3.50

I know i'll remember more later. I'm tired and taking claritin. not a good mix

snow white
04-15-2008, 01:28 AM
"You sweat whenu dance and its kind of annoying, but ur cute so ill take another (dancee)"

yeah dude just like girls dont sweat they sure as shit dont take dumps or produce nose goblins either

"your wayyyyy too pretty to be here. you should stop and live with me. ill take care of you. i make 42K a year. i would treat u so right....... (pause) ii really want to eat ur pussy, wanna go out to my car?"

lol whatev bigshot