View Full Version : Stupid Customer Comments
i.breathe.in
08-08-2008, 03:30 PM
them: thats expensive for a dance, gas prices are too high!
me: if you have to worry about gas prices this is the last place you should be.
indianprincess
08-09-2008, 03:32 PM
Oh. My. God. Just the idea that anyone, ever would think of American Indians/Native Americans as either "exotic" or "foreign" absolutely breaks my heart. I weep for the way they have been pillaged, decimated, and desecrated.
Wow. He really took it to heart when they sang "This land is your land, this land is my land." Bullshit. It doesn't belong to any of us wasichus.
Dude.
This is why I don't tell them my damn background, cuz I'll get this bullshiat all the time: "but you're so pretty and thin!"
And I'm as domestic as they come, like the beaver.
And you don't have to weep for us, we're still here, ain't we?
/my relatives are teh hawt, I think.
Can't hate people for being ignorant
Or can I?
NewMoon
08-09-2008, 05:22 PM
A huge socially akward nerd......first lapdance ever. He LAUGHED throughout the full 2 songs I danced for. He kept laughing, covering his face with his hands saying "oh my god, I can't believe I'm doing this". I pretty much just gave him an airdance because he was freaking out.
Another guy that I'm pretending to masturbate for:
Him: Are you gonna get off this song?
Me: No, I can't get off without my vibrator.
Him: Do you have it with you?
Me: No.
Him: Well you should bring it to the club so you can go in the dressing room to finish yourself off. You must be pretty frustrated.
right......... LOL
Polekitten
08-09-2008, 06:02 PM
I'm sitting in vip with a guy and he's watching my best friend who is dancing across the room from us for another customer.
Him - Shes got big boobs
Me - Yes she does
Him - You have big boobs
Me - Yes, thats right I do
Him - I like big boobs
Me - Yeah, alot of guys do
Him - Do you have the biggest boobs in the world
Me - Er, no
Him - Does she have the biggest boobs inthe world?
Me - They're big but I don't think they're the biggest in the world. Why don't you book another 1/2 hour with both of us and we can compare who's are bigger
Him - Does the girl with the biggest boobs in the world work here
Me - Er, no... shall we book this vip then, look, the girls just finishing with her customer
Him - No, I'm off to find the girl with the biggest boobs in the world.
Me - Er...ok:-\
NewMoon
08-09-2008, 06:04 PM
^^^Should all the members of SW be expecting this guy to come into their club?
ViolaStrings
08-09-2008, 09:06 PM
^ OMG LOLZ
if only he knew how big and grotesque implants can get...
rubyredlipsss
08-09-2008, 09:16 PM
^^^ i think the biggest boobs in the world would be um interesting to say the least.
i love boobie comments, i always get asked "you have naturals huh?" (even though they're quite small, i dont think anyone would get implants and get my size titties) i just want to say DUH!!!!
Fionaver
08-10-2008, 12:03 AM
^^^ Hm.... I know what you mean. I always tell guys that I don't think that implants come in as small of a size as mine!
And what do they think that I started with?/:O
Sarah Andi
08-10-2008, 01:26 AM
I always get the "your boobs are little, but they're really nice" like it's an apology or they're trying to comfort what they think is an insecurity.
I always laugh. I love my IBTs! I don't have to wear a bra (unless there's air conditioning), and I don't get black eyes doing cardio! (harhar)
Crow2
08-10-2008, 07:20 AM
First dance of the night.. Old guy ( what is it with the old crusty guys?) I knew he was going to be a problem because as soon as I sat down he's ALREADY an octopus man.
It was at the end of the dance ..
Him; "If I give you and extra twenty can I pull it out.. *nervous giggle."
Me. "No."
So I do my thing and as he is paying me, I retort.. " What, no tip?"
Him; " Why should I tip you?"
Me;"So I wont slap the shit out of you for asking me if you can pull your small penis out."
He gave me an extra twenty.
txchick008
08-10-2008, 08:24 AM
^^
He gave you an extra $20 after you told him he had a small penis? Now THAT'S some good work....
Crow2
08-10-2008, 09:53 AM
He just made me mad and I can be very intimidating when I stand up.. I guess I had a look on my face too because he did the cockroach scurry out the door. ( I'm six feet even WITHOUT my shoes )
Old fucker! :(
JayATee
08-10-2008, 03:37 PM
"are those real?"
"no they're imaginary. look <poof> now they're gone"
Crow2
08-10-2008, 04:46 PM
"are those real?"
"no they're imaginary. look <poof> now they're gone"
smart ass combacks for that age old stupid question..
" Yeah, really paid for. Babe."
"Nooooooooo! Like OMG, I woke up and my pillow was gone."
" Why do you care? You're dick will never be in the middle of'em."
" Well sweetheart. They DON'T come off."
Geezus guys are dumb.
VegasPrincess
08-10-2008, 04:57 PM
Happened to me lately at work:
Ass Hat to me "You're sooo pretty. But if you would loose ten pounds, you would be like...beautiful."
Me "ummm....that's great...."
Ass Hat "No seriously. I'm a photographer. (hands me cheap crappy card.) I won't work with or date girls over a size 0 (since when have models been a size 0? I think they're a bit tall for that but ANYWAY)
Me ....getting up and leaving card on table (btw I'm *gasp* a size 5) "okay well I'll let you find somebody more to your tase..."
Ass Hat "wait, I thought you could dance for me?"
Me *takes him to LD room for three dances, because well I'm poor* Okay thanks! Have a good night.
Ass Hat pinching my booty (which I assumed was my fat area to him) "good give me a call! I'd love to work with you when you take that weight off"
WHAT. THE FUCK.
ViolaStrings
08-10-2008, 05:58 PM
^ don't worry. He's going to the 5th circle of hell. We'll all know the bouncers in Hell, so we'll go straight to VIP.
txchick008
08-10-2008, 06:54 PM
We'll all know the bouncers in Hell, so we'll go straight to VIP.
Woman, you crack me up!!!!!!
Love it. }:D
NewMoon
08-10-2008, 10:20 PM
Okay, I can forgive this one but it was still funny.
Me: *dances two songs*
Him: Thanks! Where do I pay?
JayATee
08-11-2008, 12:06 AM
" Well sweetheart. They DON'T come off."
This is my FAV! I'm gonna have to use it! Half my night is spent answering this question and the other half is spent trying to not answer the "so what's your real name?" It's like don't you get it?! This whole thing is fantasy! Except for the money that you can now pay me lol. }:D
britt244
08-11-2008, 12:20 AM
a guy squeezed the shit out of my boobs and i told him he can't do that, it hurts. he says "no it doesn't. they arent real. you can't feel that."
thechaosfairy
08-11-2008, 02:12 AM
^Jesus crap.
When guys ask me "Is that your real name?" I get all philosophical and say, "What is reality, anyway?" and go off on Plato or on perceptual filters. I suppose it would work for the boobie question too. I've only been asked about mine once -- they're frikkin' B cups! I was so surprised, I just stood there and blinked at him for a moment.
txchick008
08-11-2008, 03:45 AM
a guy squeezed the shit out of my boobs and i told him he can't do that, it hurts. he says "no it doesn't. they arent real. you can't feel that."
OMG. :O
More cavemen to the rescue.
bebewood
08-11-2008, 05:03 AM
^Jesus crap.
When guys ask me "Is that your real name?" I get all philosophical and say, "What is reality, anyway?" and go off on Plato or on perceptual filters. I suppose it would work for the boobie question too. I've only been asked about mine once -- they're frikkin' B cups! I was so surprised, I just stood there and blinked at him for a moment.
LMAO I have been asked too and I cant even fill an A cup.
JayATee
08-11-2008, 03:53 PM
I'd love to come up with a way to just shut them up about it. I haven't found an answer I really like yet. It's like what do you care what my name "really" is?
pinkpvc
08-11-2008, 04:30 PM
Argh I chose a normal sounding stripping name to avoid those questions, but on saturday when i was asked for the 50th time I put on a deep voice and said "It's Jim".
rubyredlipsss
08-11-2008, 04:50 PM
Argh I chose a normal sounding stripping name to avoid those questions, but on saturday when i was asked for the 50th time I put on a deep voice and said "It's Jim".
:rotfl:
i am stealing that!!
Perry
08-11-2008, 06:08 PM
Argh I chose a normal sounding stripping name to avoid those questions, but on saturday when i was asked for the 50th time I put on a deep voice and said "It's Jim".
That is too funny!!
Crow2
08-12-2008, 02:29 AM
Tonight, after Mister Man tried to impress me with his corvette ( bigg whooptedoo ) - I had just finished doing a two-for-one for him. I had told him that it was "Forty" dollars.
He hands me a twenty.. I look at it in a stupid fashion. Turn it over to make sure nothing is stuck and I'm not really that crazy. I look at the man..
Me;" Sweetheart. That was forty dollars."
PL; " I thought you did one for free."
Again, I'm blinking, trying to wrap my head around the fact that ANY stripper MIGHT actually do SOMETHING for free..
Me; "First off, there's nothing really free in this lifetime - and if one dance is forty dollars and you got a free one. Why are you handing me a twenty?"
Either he thought I was actually that stupid and would smile with joy and bounce off - or he was trying to play me. I would choose the latter myself..
I got my money. Dumbass.
txchick008
08-12-2008, 03:54 AM
Argh I chose a normal sounding stripping name to avoid those questions, but on saturday when i was asked for the 50th time I put on a deep voice and said "It's Jim".
That is freakin' awesome. I am so using that.
I cannot believe how many people say, "what's your real name"? I just don't understand why it's even important to them. Almost every single guy does it.
I'm gonna start saying either the line above ^^^, or just saying....Kamryn IS my real name dammit. ::)
Susan-Va
08-12-2008, 06:23 AM
I'm gonna start saying either the line above ^^^, or just saying....Kamryn IS my real name dammit. ::)
I dance under Susan, and that is my real name. I get guys all the time saying "come on, what's your real name". Does Susan sound like a stripper name?
Lysondra
08-12-2008, 06:33 AM
I'd love to come up with a way to just shut them up about it. I haven't found an answer I really like yet. It's like what do you care what my name "really" is?
I lie.. I go, "Of course Bubbles is my real name!! Do you seriously think I'd name myself something so stupid?!"
They believe THAT! :O
britt244
08-12-2008, 09:57 AM
I dance under Susan, and that is my real name. I get guys all the time saying "come on, what's your real name". Does Susan sound like a stripper name?
i had a guy tell me that megan isn't creative enough for a stripper name. ::) they won't ever be satisfied.
therainman1000
08-12-2008, 10:00 AM
Often at work I tell customers I'm from Mississippi (which I sort of am, in a way) and play up my Southern accent. When you are from Mississippi, you pronounce it "Miss'ippi."
So last night this exchange took place...
Him: Where are you from?
Me: Miss'ippi.
Him: WHAT? That's bullshit, that's not how you say it.
Me: (laughing) It is if you're from there!
Him: Dumbass. It's MISS-ISS-IPPI. Are you stupid? There's TWO esses in it!
Me: Actually, there are four.
Him: (stops, glares) I guess you think you're pretty smart.
hate to ruin it for you, but i'm from mississippi and i've never heard anybody say it miss'ippi
txchick008
08-12-2008, 11:00 AM
i had a guy tell me that megan isn't creative enough for a stripper name. ::) they won't ever be satisfied.
For real. Sounds like if you pick something unique, the first thing out of their mouth is, "come on, what's your REAL name?". So you have a normal name, like Megan...and that's not good enough either. WTF you guys!
Crow2
08-12-2008, 12:55 PM
hate to ruin it for you, but i'm from mississippi and i've never heard anybody say it miss'ippi
Guess you haven't been hanging out in the right places..
TheTempest
08-12-2008, 04:51 PM
For real. Sounds like if you pick something unique, the first thing out of their mouth is, "come on, what's your REAL name?". So you have a normal name, like Megan...and that's not good enough either. WTF you guys!
Which is why I want to dance under my real name. No one would believe it anyway!
Sarah Andi
08-12-2008, 05:01 PM
At least once a night I have this argument
Them: You're not really from New Orleans. You don't say it right. It's "NAWRLINS".
Me: Um. No. Only people who've never even BEEN to the state of Louisiana call it that. It's NOLA or Nu-Olins.
For the record, I can't STAND when people (who've invariably never been there) insist on calling NOLA Nawlins or Nawrlins or whatever sub-literate mutilation they INSIST is the "proper" way to say it.
Crow2
08-12-2008, 07:28 PM
At least once a night I have this argument
Them: You're not really from New Orleans. You don't say it right. It's "NAWRLINS".
Me: Um. No. Only people who've never even BEEN to the state of Louisiana call it that. It's NOLA or Nu-Olins.
For the record, I can't STAND when people (who've invariably never been there) insist on calling NOLA Nawlins or Nawrlins or whatever sub-literate mutilation they INSIST is the "proper" way to say it.
Silly yankees.. just smile and nod. :D
iambonbon05
08-12-2008, 10:29 PM
That is freakin' awesome. I am so using that.
I cannot believe how many people say, "what's your real name"? I just don't understand why it's even important to them. Almost every single guy does it.
Seriously. If anything, the stripper name is more important. I have no control over what my real name is. My parents named me. I chose my stripper name, therefore it has actual meaning to me.
Dottie Rebel
08-13-2008, 12:37 AM
hate to ruin it for you, but i'm from mississippi and i've never heard anybody say it miss'ippi
Half my family is deep country Mississippians (or whatever) for generations now. And yes, they say Miss'ippi. The middle part is there but almost imperceptible so it just sounds like Miss'ippi.
JayATee
08-13-2008, 12:50 AM
Seriously. If anything, the stripper name is more important. I have no control over what my real name is. My parents named me. I chose my stripper name, therefore it has actual meaning to me.
I kinda feel the same. I picked my name cause I love it. Which is why the "whats your real name" is so annoying!
Polekitten
08-13-2008, 04:05 AM
My stage name is Jenny. Whenever guys ask "Whats your real name?" I look at them and say, "Er...Jennifer" As if its really obvious. Usually the feel pretty silly after that.
michele_b
08-13-2008, 09:38 AM
Hahahahaha I have to add this one. This completely wasted guy came in the other night and he pulled me over to sit with him. He then started talking shit to me. He looked at me and said that I do drugs, he can tell (I don't btw I just do xanax for my nerves) He told me to open my mouth really really wide because he can tell if someone did drugs by the way their mouth looked.
Then he said I am a mechanic, do you know what that is? I was like duh. Then he was like not that kind of mechanic I am the mechanic, I am a hit man for the mafia. I laughed right there when he said all that and just walked away.
roxanna
08-13-2008, 10:05 AM
I hate that 'what is your real name' shit. Then I tell customers it is my real name, and my middle name is marie, and last night some retard starts lecturing my about my safety, blah blah blah, then tried to follow me to my car and ask me out at the end of the night!
jessica0585
08-13-2008, 10:26 AM
i dance by aubrey and whenever they ask for my real name i say abrianna...ive never had anyone question me
Yekhefah
08-13-2008, 10:27 AM
hate to ruin it for you, but i'm from mississippi and i've never heard anybody say it miss'ippi
You're not ruining a thing for me, so don't worry. I know Mississippi well enough to know I'm right. ;)
saphire123456
08-13-2008, 11:01 AM
that's fine, i've lived here 22 years
but i know when to not waste my time arguing so i'll just let you go on w/ your fake mississippi accent :)
umm, why is someone who's not a stripper posting in stripping general?::)
SassyPants
08-13-2008, 11:01 AM
gtfo rainman. There's three minutes until Wapner!
Crow2
08-13-2008, 11:01 AM
that's fine, i've lived here 22 years
but i know when to not waste my time arguing so i'll just let you go on w/ your fake mississippi accent :)
Is there some reason your being a penis? Or is today just a special day?
Everyone in Mississippi speaks differently - there's dialects and different ways of speaking in every region!
I can hear the difference in south Jackson and the Delta. Or North Jackson to Biloxi. There's transplanted people here that have added the accent to what they already have..
It's really not such a big deal to get all riled up about, so please stop being a weenie. :D
Dottie Rebel
08-13-2008, 11:05 AM
that's fine, i've lived here 22 years
but i know when to not waste my time arguing so i'll just let you go on w/ your fake mississippi accent :)
You're really cool. You know why? Cause instead of spending your time doing things that pertain to you and your life you lurk around on a forum for professionals in an industry to which you are in no way related and bait the long-time members there with snarky, bullshit comments. That's why. Keep on rocking this hardcore, k?