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Yekhefah
08-13-2008, 11:06 AM
Yep, exactly. My family is all from Mississippi, I grew up in Memphis, spent about a third of my childhood in north Mississippi, and have the state flower tattooed on my wrist. But yeah, I don't know nothin' about no Mississippi. ::)

Crow2
08-13-2008, 11:07 AM
You're really cool. You know why? Cause instead of spending your time doing things that pertain to you and your life you lurk around on a forum for professionals in an industry to which you are in no way related and bait the long-time members there with snarky, bullshit comments. That's why. Keep on rocking this hardcore, k?

Thank you Miss Dottie for making me spew diet soda out my nose..

* snicker *

Dottie Rebel
08-13-2008, 11:09 AM
gtfo rainman. There's three minutes until Wapner!

Oh, hell yes. FTW!

ViolaStrings
08-13-2008, 11:23 AM
hate to ruin it for you, but i'm from mississippi and i've never heard anybody say it miss'ippi

Cock in the henhouse! GET OUT

Sveta
08-13-2008, 12:32 PM
while I was doing an amateur night, a guy comes up to me:

"hey, my friend over there really wants to meet you."

I tell him that unfortunately I can't give lapdances tonight, I don't work here yet, I'm just doing the contest.

"oh I didn't say he wanted a lapdance. he just wants to talk. you got a boyfriend?"

::)

"Maybe you need to explain to your 'friend' how strip clubs work. If he wants company, he can find a dancer and pay her for her time."

Lysondra
08-13-2008, 08:30 PM
"Hey, do you want something to drink?" - Customer
"Um, no thanks."
"How about some weed? I have some weed."
"No thanks, I don't do drugs."
"Coke...speed?"
"No thanks..."
"Do you want ice? Or pills?"
"Um.. I don't do drugs. Honest."
"How about Heroin?"

...wtf? I don't do drugs... NO WORRIES TRY THE HEROIN!

Elvia
08-13-2008, 08:39 PM
You're really cool. You know why? Cause instead of spending your time doing things that pertain to you and your life you lurk around on a forum for professionals in an industry to which you are in no way related and bait the long-time members there with snarky, bullshit comments. That's why. Keep on rocking this hardcore, k?

LMAO!!!

charlie61
08-13-2008, 08:41 PM
"Nooooooooo! Like OMG, I woke up and my pillow was gone."



LMAO :D

xo_Amber_xoxo
08-13-2008, 08:50 PM
oh my god. best like 2 hours of my life was spent reading this!!

iambonbon05
08-13-2008, 09:59 PM
"Hey, do you want something to drink?" - Customer
"Um, no thanks."
"How about some weed? I have some weed."
"No thanks, I don't do drugs."
"Coke...speed?"
"No thanks..."
"Do you want ice? Or pills?"
"Um.. I don't do drugs. Honest."
"How about Heroin?"

...wtf? I don't do drugs... NO WORRIES TRY THE HEROIN!
Reminds me of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

"I'm vegetarian"
*moment of silence*
"No worries, I'll make lamb!"

CKXXX
08-14-2008, 01:46 AM
"Hey...if you play your cards right..you could come back to my hotel room and rub my feet"


OOOOO...can I?? What a DEAL!!! And he expected this FOR FREE non the less AND told me when I laughed my ass off and walked away that I "had no idea what I was missing out on"

Oh yeah baby...let me rub your stanky feet for free at 4:30 in the morning...why the HELL would I turn down a sweet deal like that???

thechaosfairy
08-14-2008, 01:51 AM
You know, my parents were hippies, so maybe I should start going by "Peace" or something.

"Is that your REAL name?"

"...I had hippie parents. God's honest truth!"

MysteriousMisty
08-14-2008, 09:25 AM
So, one day the shit hole I was working at was dead. A customer walked in and I sat next to him and struck up conversation.
Douche bag: "I'd like for you to come to my hotel room."
Me: "VIP is my hotel room. I never leave the club with anyone."

The douche bag kept going on about his hotel room and I got up and said "Well, you can just drive yourself down to some whorehouse in Pahrump. I have money to make."
Douche bag: "Now you're walking away."
Me: "Like I said. I'm here to make money. Not be propositioned. The sign says "Gentlemen's Club" Not whorehouse."

No one else bothered to approach him and he finally left. I always shake my head at the assholes who are dumb enough to say "Now you're leaving" when we refuse to stay and let them try persuading us into going to their hotel rooms. Why the hell should a girl sit there and listen to bullshit when she's dancing to make money instead of fucking/sucking to make a buck?!?!

VeraLynn
08-14-2008, 09:47 AM
Cust- What's your name?
Me- Vera
Cust- Is that your real name?
Me- No, it's a stage name. If you were 5'1", 103 pounds and getting naked for strangers at work, you probably wouldn't use your real name either!
Cust-Yah, I guess you're right. So what's you real name now? You can trust me!

:O

JayATee
08-14-2008, 10:22 AM
me- would you like a dance
customer- yeah but im not sure, i dont want to get you in trouble

wtf? get me in trouble? its my fucking job....

Crow2
08-14-2008, 01:26 PM
Me; " Would you like a dance Darlin'?
Motard; Yeah, but I want to save my money for my cocaine

Now, at this point, I blinked and must of had a look on my face as the jerk started to grin.. I replied with.

Me; " Oh, Okay. I know you coke heads can't get your little dicks hard anyway. Have fun!"

The look on his face was sooooooooo worth it.

Ava Jadore
08-14-2008, 10:47 PM
One night a customer kept calling me polka dot girl alllll night. I was wearing a polka dot bikini and apparently he was too drunk and or too stupid to bother calling me by my stage name. It was getting so annoying. I would be on stage and hear "hey polka dot girl....come here".

At least he bought a few dances. Otherwise I would have been forced to start calling him "hey douche bag in the ed hardy t-shirt"

Lysondra
08-15-2008, 10:34 AM
One night a customer kept calling me polka dot girl alllll night. I was wearing a polka dot bikini and apparently he was too drunk and or too stupid to bother calling me by my stage name. It was getting so annoying. I would be on stage and hear "hey polka dot girl....come here".

At least he bought a few dances. Otherwise I would have been forced to start calling him "hey douche bag in the ed hardy t-shirt"

The number of times some guy has yelled out "HEY MEXICAN"... &(^^$%*

My favourite is a guy who kept calling me Sonya... I was like, my name isn't Sonya...

"Yes it is... you have a nice pair of tits-onya."

That made me giggle.

NewMoon
08-15-2008, 11:19 AM
I have a new first place for my dancing career:

Him: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Me: Yes, I have one little brother.
Him: Has he ever come to watch you dance?
Me: *lol* No, I told him when I started dancing so he could make sure he never comes to my club.
Him: Why don't you want him to come?
Me: He's my brother and I don't want my brother to see me naked.
Him: Why not? You have a pretty sweet body. He might like that, ya know.

CarlyMIA
08-15-2008, 11:22 AM
I have a new first place for my dancing career:

Him: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Me: Yes, I have one little brother.
Him: Has he ever come to watch you dance?
Me: *lol* No, I told him when I started dancing so he could make sure he never comes to my club.
Him: Why don't you want him to come?
Me: He's my brother and I don't want my brother to see me naked.
Him: Why not? You have a pretty sweet body. He might like that, ya know.

I'm curious about how you responded! This guy is a freak... egghh

ViolaStrings
08-15-2008, 11:23 AM
^ AHHHH! Where's the barfing emoticon?

NewMoon
08-15-2008, 11:25 AM
I just left. Fuck that, I don't need his money.

britt244
08-16-2008, 01:37 AM
this guy talking to me and my friend at the very end of the night, when we're sitting there tired and ready to go home: so do you guys like have a competition to see how much money you can make?

me: um. no. how much do you make? do you compete with your friends?

him: well, i make my money legitimately...

yeah ok douchebag. i was so irritated (these guys had been acting like asses all night) that i put my hands over my ears and rolled my eyes at them.

CuriousSeeker
08-16-2008, 01:48 AM
a guy squeezed the shit out of my boobs and i told him he can't do that, it hurts. he says "no it doesn't. they arent real. you can't feel that."

This stupid shit completely chills me. I'm so sorry it happened.

JayATee
08-16-2008, 02:02 AM
So I'm talking to this guy for a few min being all cute and flirty and everything and I finally ask him if he wants a dance and this genius says "no thanks strippers don't really do it for me" then he says "here though, you're the only one worthy of this" and hands me a napkin with his name and number on it......

iambonbon05
08-16-2008, 02:18 AM
^^ Ooh, you must feel honored! That's got to be like, the height of your whole stripping career!

MeanGirl
08-16-2008, 03:52 AM
Lastnight whle im on one of the side stages carrying my wine, this guy: hey can i taste your wine
me:??? uh..no
him: but what if I wanna buy some?
me: then buy your own
him: well i need to know if i like it first
me: seriously? buy your own wine and leave me alone (he is at my freakin tip rail)
him: get's a manager to tell on me for not letting him taste my fucking wine
manager: tells him to buy his own fucking drink

JayATee
08-16-2008, 01:48 PM
^^ Ooh, you must feel honored! That's got to be like, the height of your whole stripping career!


You have no idea! I feel like the luckiest woman in the world right now! As a matter of fact.... I should go call him.... ::)

Bianca O'Blivion
08-16-2008, 02:06 PM
I laughed and said.."no..fucky fucky is good...I just dont want kids from it"

He was still shaking his head when I walked away..just the THOUGHT of anyone being childless by choice was SO foreign to him he couldnt wrap his brain around it!

:rotfl:

Yep, it's a Mexican thing. Children are idolized in their culture. (Edit to add- she was talking to a Mexican man, I didn't quote that part.)

My favorite recent dumb comment- a male customer said that I didn't look like an indigenous Mexican, I looked more European- but he capped it by calling the indigenous Mexicans "n*ggers." I was just speechless.

CKXXX
08-16-2008, 05:45 PM
:rotfl:

Yep, it's a Mexican thing. Children are idolized in their culture. (Edit to add- she was talking to a Mexican man, I didn't quote that part.)

.

Oh I know, thats why I pointed out that he was Mexican!

JayATee
08-17-2008, 11:37 AM
^^ I said the same thing to a customer last night about not wanting kids and got lectured about how kids are everything in life and I should stop being selfish!

Susan Wayward
08-17-2008, 11:49 AM
^^^ if they get all "Well, why not?" with me, and really want to pursue it as a topic they should talk about with a total stranger, I put on a sad look and say that I can't, physically, (this is a lie) and then trail off as if there were some tragic reason I didn't want to talk about. }:D This is only when I feel like fucking with people. Generally I will just say, "Oh eventually." We don't need to have a conversation about that at work.

I just love it when they look at my boobs and say, "I can tell you'd be a great mom!" yeesh.

SassyPants
08-17-2008, 11:52 AM
grrrr!!!! THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DON'T HAVE KIDS, asshole.

Here are some reasons:

a) Because I am selfish, and I know that about myself, so why would I bring a child into this world with the knowledge that I wouldn't be the best mother I could be? If I could pour food in a bowl for the kid like I do my cat, maybe. But I can't do that, now can I?

b) Also, does this childcentric douchewaffle ever think that maybe the lady doesn't want to pass on bad genetics or something? Another reason I choose not to have kids is because I wouldn't wish my highly genetic disorder onto anyone. It sucks!


c) and! Having a child just to have a little version of yourself roaming about ISN'T selfish? That's self gratification at its finest.

I would've told that customer to get the fuck over himself and GTFO. When people automatically start lecturing you for YOUR lifestyle choices and on things they don't even understand, that's when my freedom fighter kicks in.
(hehe... sorry, i get really fired up on this subject)

ViolaStrings
08-17-2008, 01:20 PM
^ this reminds me of the first scene in "Idiocracy"... yall gotta watch, for serial.

Ava Jadore
08-17-2008, 07:47 PM
My favourite is a guy who kept calling me Sonya... I was like, my name isn't Sonya...

"Yes it is... you have a nice pair of tits-onya."

That made me giggle.

Buwhahaha...I haven't heard that one before...too funny ;D

Lysondra
08-17-2008, 10:34 PM
Yeah I really like that one. It was way more creative than 'Hey you!'

Perry
08-17-2008, 10:38 PM
Off topic, but Bianca - I LOVE James Woods!!!

thechaosfairy
08-18-2008, 12:47 AM
So I'm talking to this guy for a few min being all cute and flirty and everything and I finally ask him if he wants a dance and this genius says "no thanks strippers don't really do it for me" then he says "here though, you're the only one worthy of this" and hands me a napkin with his name and number on it......

AHAHAHAHA that sounds like he's been reading one of those player sites with the advice for backhanded compliments and other stupid gags. "How to pick up a stripper", etc.

rubyredlipsss
08-18-2008, 12:54 AM
custie: so do you do anything else besides this?
me: (ugh, here we go) yes, i go to school
custie: so you don't have another job
me:no....
custie: you should do real work. you don't know the meaning of real work, you just have money handed to you and don't have to work for a real buck. you girls work for peanuts. :O

JayATee
08-18-2008, 01:21 AM
custie: so do you do anything else besides this?
me: (ugh, here we go) yes, i go to school
custie: so you don't have another job
me:no....
custie: you should do real work. you don't know the meaning of real work, you just have money handed to you and don't have to work for a real buck. you girls work for peanuts. :O


Umm yah.... Sitting at a desk must be real work. ::)

Lysondra
08-18-2008, 01:40 AM
"Fuck dude you're right! You should do the same. I'm sure there's a burger that needs flipped right now!"

Ava Jadore
08-18-2008, 08:37 AM
custie: so do you do anything else besides this?


Nope...at the end of each night the manager rounds up all the strippers and locks us in the dressing room. We have naked pillow fights until it is time for our next shift. We have no life outside of stripping...no sir :D. We do nothing else.

Sierra30
08-18-2008, 09:41 AM
Yup. It was this one, "Party Girl" (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0099/0099_01.asp) - guess it's only the girls who need to behave.


i am pagan and i just LOVE how the freakin satan has an upside down pentacle...that ANGERS me to no end....like ALL pagans are evil...OY.

AlexxaHex
08-18-2008, 09:45 AM
i am pagan and i just LOVE how the freakin satan has an upside down pentacle...that ANGERS me to no end....like ALL pagans are evil...OY.

The freakin Satan!! Woooo! :dance: LOL

It sorta bugs me that the stupid Pagan symbol is so close to the Satanic one too! And what about that inverted cross? SOOO close to the Christian one!


}:D

ViolaStrings
08-18-2008, 01:29 PM
custie: so do you do anything else besides this?
me: (ugh, here we go) yes, i go to school
custie: so you don't have another job
me:no....
custie: you should do real work. you don't know the meaning of real work, you just have money handed to you and don't have to work for a real buck. you girls work for peanuts. :O

OMG, that is such bullshit... I don't even know where to start...

Chimera21
08-19-2008, 09:16 AM
So I'm talking to this guy for a few min being all cute and flirty and everything and I finally ask him if he wants a dance and this genius says "no thanks strippers don't really do it for me" then he says "here though, you're the only one worthy of this" and hands me a napkin with his name and number on it......


"Oh, thanks!"

*wipes mouth off, dabs chest, does a little nose-blow*

"I've been looking for a tissue...here."

*holds defiled napkin out*

"Be a doll and toss that for me? Hope you find something that does it for you. Bye!"

Sveta
08-19-2008, 09:19 AM
Dumb Customer: are you a witch?
me: um, no.
DC: you can't fool me. You're wearing a witch necklace. You do black magic.
me: it's just a Celtic symbol. Sorry to disappoint you.
DC: are you Celtic?
me: I'm part Irish, yes
DC: aha! then you ARE a witch!

ok, fine, I'm a witch. Buy a lapdance or I'll put a spell on you. ::)

JayATee
08-19-2008, 11:52 AM
"Oh, thanks!"

*wipes mouth off, dabs chest, does a little nose-blow*

"I've been looking for a tissue...here."

*holds defiled napkin out*

"Be a doll and toss that for me? Hope you find something that does it for you. Bye!"

LOL! I love it! I wish I had thought of something like this. I just rolled my eyes and walked away. Especially since he did that after he asked if I had a boyfriend and I said I was married.

Crow2
08-19-2008, 02:35 PM
Me: Are you waiting for someone sweetheart?
Motard: What does that mean?

I've heard a lot of crap but good lord.. that sort of took the cake.

SexyJess
08-19-2008, 02:52 PM
Last weekend I came across one of those guys that is desperate to have someone believe he's cool. You know the type... "I only won $180 playing poker tonight... I only won $22,000 in Vegas last month... I'm in the military but you probably watch CNN so I can't tell you anything...you just dance and I'll just pay you, let's keep it at that..." all of that came out of his mouth.

He kept telling me that he and his cousin owned a strip club in Miami (RIGHT). I really needed the money ( he bought a bunch of dances and tipped me well) so I didn't try and bust him in a lie. When I told him the club takes a cut of our dances as well as a stage fee, he FREAKED out.

"No other club in the country does that!" he insisted. "This is the only place I've ever heard of that does that! Are you lying to me? Oh hell no... at every other club, you girls keep what you make..." I managed to keep a straight face while I told him that I've danced at seven clubs and each one of them had a stage fee and took some of my money. He seemed shocked. I guess he doesn't own a club after all or he would know that. ;) I managed to keep it together but as soon as I got home I laughed for about 45 minutes.