View Full Version : Stupid Customer Comments
CKXXX
08-19-2008, 02:56 PM
^^..Yeah and every club I've worked in in Miami works that way too. What a dumbass...if you are going to lie...at LEAST TRY to be believable!!
JayATee
08-19-2008, 03:39 PM
No because they don't think we're smart enough to catch them in their lies. For some reason stripper automatically means dumb.
snow white
08-23-2008, 06:21 PM
Me: "Hi! How 'bout I warm you up with a hot dance!"
Douche: *straight face*"How much will you pay me?"
Me: *giggles* "You're funny!"
Douche: *straight face* "How much will you pay me?"
Me: *smiling but annoyed as shit* "My sexy dances are ten, are you ready?"
Douche: *still has gayass blank look on face* "But how much will you pay ME?"
Me: "When your ready for a hot dance, I'l be back."
Of course I didn't return. But WTF? Aside from the obvious issue here he wasn't even remotely goodlooking. Sometimes it boggles my mind how fucking stupid men can be. But at least I can laugh at their pathetic existence ;D
JDanielle
08-23-2008, 09:53 PM
(During a lapdance.)
Customer: Give me a blowjob.
Me: No.
Customer: You should do it. Why not?
Me: I don't want to and I'll get fired.
Customer: Yeah but you can just get another job.
CherryonTop
08-24-2008, 03:08 AM
^^ oh boy..
I had one guy talking to me last night say "but you're so gorgeous, and obviously smart and young still, so why work here?"
so I asked him if he secretly preferred his strippers old and ugly...
AlexxaHex
08-24-2008, 04:08 PM
It was busy so I was doing a semi-wannadance hustle. I wanted to rush things a little and not get drawn into conversations. A customer last night was wearing an Oasis shirt, so I walked up and said, "Hey that's a nice shirt. They're a very good band!"
Him: Yeah I've seen them 4 times in the past two weeks! Oasis is the best band EVER.
Me: Wow that's dedicated! Yeah, so...How are you doing tonight? Having fun right?
Him: Oh yeah, fine. You know, nobody knows REAL rock and roll anymore. They have no taste at all.
Me: Right, I agree. The older stuff is better. Have you had any fun yet tonight?
Him (starting to get angry for some reason): I bet you can't even NAME an Oasis song! Name ONE fuckin Oasis song!
Me: Yeah I know a few songs. Why don't we talk about it in the back room! Maybe someone will pick a good song that you like!
Him: You can't do it! You cant' even name ONE SONG Oasis has done! And if you did it would be the most POPULAR ONE. You're just like everyone else!
Me: Ummm yeah...I can tell you're very angry about something so I'm going to leave now so as not to pollute my energy with your negativity.
Hahaha!
ViolaStrings
08-24-2008, 04:24 PM
^ what a freak...
gingerlee
08-24-2008, 09:25 PM
Guy comes to my stage during a show, makes a big deal about getting my attention. I do my little dance and ask him if I may please have my dollar now. He stares at me as if I'm asking for his soul and says 'Well I don't have any money. I only came in with $15 for the night. I just wanted to come talk to you for a little while because you look like a nice girl. I could take you out of here and get something to eat of something.'
Really? Because if you're too broke to be able to give me a DOLLAR when I'm standing naked in front of you, I have a hard time believing you can take me anywhere but the dollar menu at McDonalds.
I told him to take his broke ass away from my stage so some of the people standing behind him with money could fucking give it to me.
britt244
08-25-2008, 03:57 AM
this didnt happen to me but i thought it was funny. this guy goes up to the stage and starts telling the girl dancing how he watched porn last night. (the guy is slow.. i dont know whats wrong with him though) she tells him that she doesnt really want to hear about that. he says "what? youre a stripper. you like to know about that stuff." and takes his dollar back. when she goes to the 2nd stage, he goes over and stands in the middle of the room (about 10 feet away) and YELLS to her that he isnt tipping her anymore.
lol ok, so go away!
kitana
08-25-2008, 04:18 AM
Me: "Hi! How 'bout I warm you up with a hot dance!"
Douche: *straight face*"How much will you pay me?"
Me: *giggles* "You're funny!"
Douche: *straight face* "How much will you pay me?"
Me: *smiling but annoyed as shit* "My sexy dances are ten, are you ready?"
Douche: *still has gayass blank look on face* "But how much will you pay ME?"
Me: "When your ready for a hot dance, I'l be back."
Of course I didn't return. But WTF? Aside from the obvious issue here he wasn't even remotely goodlooking. Sometimes it boggles my mind how fucking stupid men can be. But at least I can laugh at their pathetic existence ;D
When guys say that shit to me, I tell them I will pay them $20 and they can pay me $40. When they get all pissy about the $20 difference between me and them, I say "well I'm the one with a thong shoved up my ass crack tottering around in 6" heels now aren't I?"
Usually shuts them up and in a few cases I sold the dance that way, lol.
jaizaine
08-25-2008, 04:29 AM
^^
that's a good comeback.
I had a funny one the other night.
I was on stage and this drunk customer comes up to the stage and tells me he wants a private dance when I finish so I tell him I'll come and get him when I'm off.
A few girls approach him and he knocks them back saying he is waiting for the girl on stage.
So when I get off I go up to him and say "Ok let's go" and he looks at me and says "Sorry I'm waiting for your friend on the stage".
Me: yeh that was me i just got off
Him: (looks at my skeptically) are you sure
Me: yes im pretty sure it was me ::)
So I take him to the dance area and sit him down. He pulls out his wallet, then pauses "I dont think you were the girl on stage im pretty sure she was wearing red"
Me: no there are red lights on the stage, look do u want a dance or not?
Him: Oh sorry dont get angry (hands me $50)
The idiot enjoyed his dance.
kitana
08-25-2008, 04:48 AM
^^
that's a good comeback.
I had a funny one the other night.
I was on stage and this drunk customer comes up to the stage and tells me he wants a private dance when I finish so I tell him I'll come and get him when I'm off.
A few girls approach him and he knocks them back saying he is waiting for the girl on stage.
So when I get off I go up to him and say "Ok let's go" and he looks at me and says "Sorry I'm waiting for your friend on the stage".
Me: yeh that was me i just got off
Him: (looks at my skeptically) are you sure
Me: yes im pretty sure it was me ::)
So I take him to the dance area and sit him down. He pulls out his wallet, then pauses "I dont think you were the girl on stage im pretty sure she was wearing red"
Me: no there are red lights on the stage, look do u want a dance or not?
Him: Oh sorry dont get angry (hands me $50)
The idiot enjoyed his dance.
Drunks like that crack me up. Especially when then tip you onstage and you tell them "some secret", then you remind them when you ask for the dance, lol.
NewMoon
08-25-2008, 05:27 AM
OMG that is hilarious, jaizaine!!!!
Sveta
08-25-2008, 07:43 AM
me: are you guys here for the convention?
custy: hell no; I'm a Republican. Democrats are stupid.
He then proceeds to lean so far back in his chair that he falls over backward onto the floor, spilling beer all over himself.
Did somebody just say "stupid"? :laughing:
NewMoon
08-25-2008, 09:23 AM
I mentioned to a customer that my friend was dancing and it was her very first night. I didn't point out who she was. He takes me for a dance and is super grabby, aggressive, constantly trying to talk me into breaking rules, give him a hand job, meet OTC for sex, ect. I'm experienced enough now that I can deal with this, follow the rules and make money. He pays me for the dances and then asks:
"So should I take your friend for a dance to help her out on her first night?"
No, stay the fuck away from her.
Sveta
08-25-2008, 08:21 PM
Me: No, mostly Irish.
Guy: That's in Russia, right? :dunce:
:O :laughing: omg!
Actually I thought you were Russian or Slavic from your pics; you do look it. :)
RoseLeigh
08-25-2008, 08:30 PM
:O :laughing: omg!
Actually I thought you were Russian or Slavic from your pics; you do look it. :)
Well I do have a whole mystery side-the dad was adopted and of totally unknown decent. I could be! I need to rock the accent.
Sveta
08-25-2008, 08:37 PM
I need to rock the accent.
Seriously, you do. :yes: I do it all the time; it's so much fun to not have to actually talk much. :P And it's fun to prey on the gullible losers who buy dances and gush about how much they "love Russian girls, because they'll do everything." OK, you keep thinking that while I clean out your wallet.
And you can pretend not to understand them when they start talking about BJ's, hotel rooms, phone numbers, or anything else you don't want to hear. }:D
RoseLeigh
08-25-2008, 09:23 PM
Seriously, you do. :yes: I do it all the time; it's so much fun to not have to actually talk much. :P And it's fun to prey on the gullible losers who buy dances and gush about how much they "love Russian girls, because they'll do everything." OK, you keep thinking that while I clean out your wallet.
And you can pretend not to understand them when they start talking about BJ's, hotel rooms, phone numbers, or anything else you don't want to hear. }:D
I'll practice! But I won't dance to techno. ;)
iambonbon05
08-26-2008, 11:01 AM
Seriously, you do. :yes: I do it all the time; it's so much fun to not have to actually talk much. :P And it's fun to prey on the gullible losers who buy dances and gush about how much they "love Russian girls, because they'll do everything." OK, you keep thinking that while I clean out your wallet.
And you can pretend not to understand them when they start talking about BJ's, hotel rooms, phone numbers, or anything else you don't want to hear. }:D
Ha I've always been seethingly jealous of the foreign girls for this reason! I think I need to just learn to talk with an accent lol.
Sveta
08-26-2008, 11:06 AM
Ha I've always been seethingly jealous of the foreign girls for this reason! I think I need to just learn to talk with an accent lol.
hehe. It's do-able...I had to learn an English accent for a play once, and I just watched a lot of BBC shows to get it in my ear. After a few weeks it was second nature.
I have a slight accent naturally, but I do ramp it up when talking to customers. ;)
RoseLeigh
08-26-2008, 12:00 PM
I'm going to practice today. I know when I lost my voice the other day and had to whisper a lot most guys thought I was Russian. Soooo....I'm gonna fake it.
Sveta
08-26-2008, 12:05 PM
^^ hehe, let me know how it goes! And eeek, you lost your voice? hope you feel better.
RoseLeigh
08-27-2008, 02:42 AM
^^ hehe, let me know how it goes! And eeek, you lost your voice? hope you feel better.
I did it! I couldn't keep it up, but it was slow, so I was Russian for a few hours. They believed me! Didn't sell much, but as I said, it was slow. So nice not to get the thrid degree about everything. Less English=less custie questions. ;D
Lysondra
08-27-2008, 04:29 AM
It's easy to get an accent!
Move.
Sveta
08-27-2008, 05:43 AM
I did it! I couldn't keep it up, but it was slow, so I was Russian for a few hours. They believed me! Didn't sell much, but as I said, it was slow. So nice not to get the thrid degree about everything. Less English=less custie questions. ;D
haha, awesome. It's so much fun with less talk. Half the Russian girls are faking it too, lol...at least in most of the clubs I've worked in. You wouldn't believe how many of them suddenly drop 95% of the accent and become fluent in English when they hit the DR, and "Oh that's just for customers, I came here when I was 10." :laughing:
Cameo
08-27-2008, 02:03 PM
I've been told that I must have nice looking bones under my skin....
creepy, huh?
ViolaStrings
08-27-2008, 02:20 PM
^ that gave me shivers
JayATee
08-27-2008, 04:44 PM
This didn't happen to me, but one of the girls I was working with Saturday night got told by a guy she was giving a private dance to that she'd look great in his freezer.... she ran out screaming.
Who are these ppl? :O
Lysondra
08-27-2008, 05:32 PM
I had a guy who liked to talk about cannibalism.
AlexxaHex
08-29-2008, 07:34 PM
^I remember him!
RoseLeigh
08-29-2008, 09:34 PM
haha, awesome. It's so much fun with less talk. Half the Russian girls are faking it too, lol...at least in most of the clubs I've worked in. You wouldn't believe how many of them suddenly drop 95% of the accent and become fluent in English when they hit the DR, and "Oh that's just for customers, I came here when I was 10." :laughing:
Hehe. That's fab. I was Russian all last night too. Or at least semi-Russian (I don't want to get busted by chicks who know I'm American. They'd do it too-we have some bitchy girls!). I was in a great mood because of it. And it fits my teeny cuteness. No one said I was 'too nice to be here' last night.
Anyway, enough threadjack. LOL
Crow2
08-30-2008, 08:52 AM
Me: Would you like a two for one dance sweetie?
PL: I got the anacon-da bay-bee, you ain't ready for this.
He said it exactly like that .. and I just had to give him a blank stare and walk off.
I am assuming he was taking about his penis. I think..
Sveta
08-30-2008, 08:54 AM
PL: I got the anacon-da bay-bee, you ain't ready for this.
translation: "I'm broke."
Crow2
08-30-2008, 09:58 AM
Broke and stupid..
Lysondra
08-30-2008, 10:07 AM
^I remember him!
You helped me make some people recipes to sell him!:D
AlexxaHex
08-30-2008, 09:57 PM
You helped me make some people recipes to sell him!:D
I did? Right on! :thumbsup:
Lysondra
08-30-2008, 10:13 PM
I should pay you comission. Want ten bucks?
AlexxaHex
08-31-2008, 08:31 AM
LOL, Lys! 10 bucks is a lot of weight to ship, especially if you include the antlers. I prefer chickens.
Sarah Andi
09-01-2008, 12:24 AM
Me: Would you like a two for one dance sweetie?
PL: I got the anacon-da bay-bee, you ain't ready for this.
He said it exactly like that .. and I just had to give him a blank stare and walk off.
I am assuming he was taking about his penis. I think..
OMG! He must have been in my club this weekend too! I asked a younger guy if her wanted a dance and he responded, "Do you even know how huge my dick is?" I laughed in his face, as that was the only immediately obvious response to his idiocy. UGH.
ViolaStrings
09-01-2008, 09:39 AM
^ I want to scream at these guys that their dick isn't even involved in a dance, so it doesn't matter.
Crow2
09-01-2008, 09:54 AM
^ I want to scream at these guys that their dick isn't even involved in a dance, so it doesn't matter.
The blank stare must of worked, because the PL started babbbling about how great I looked. * eye roll *
kitana
09-01-2008, 10:22 AM
The blank stare must of worked, because the PL started babbbling about how great I looked. * eye roll *
Girl, you should have told him to fucking prove how big his dick was by doing a dance, cause if it was that big he would be GLAD to have women rubbing all over it, since only guys with tiny dicks refuse dances, lol.
happygiggles
09-01-2008, 10:53 PM
pl: damn baby you look so good
me: i look even better naked. wanna go vip?
pl:how much
me: 50. ten to the bar 40 to me
pl: i know you gonna let me fuck
me: i don't sell pussy
pl: i'll give you 50
me: look here, i said i don't sell pussy. that doesn't have a price. and if it did 50 ain't gonna get you jacked off. i have morals.
pl: morals? you already a prostitute. i don't know what the fuck wrong wit yall dumb ass hos.
i blame this on myself as i should have walked away a long time before it got this far
Susan-Va
09-02-2008, 05:39 AM
^^^^^^ that made me think of this.
Me: would you like a two for one dance?
PL: how much?
Me: $25
PL: That's too much money.
Me: *smiles and walks away*
About 20 minutes later, PL flags me down as I walk past.
PL: how much for sex?
Me: Dude really? If you can't afford a 2-4-1, you can't afford to fuck me.
He continued to bagger me all night long about this too.
TheTempest
09-02-2008, 09:29 AM
^^^^^^ that made me think of this.
Me: would you like a two for one dance?
PL: how much?
Me: $25
PL: That's too much money.
Me: *smiles and walks away*
About 20 minutes later, PL flags me down as I walk past.
PL: how much for sex?
Me: Dude really? If you can't afford a 2-4-1, you can't afford to fuck me.
He continued to bagger me all night long about this too.
This one, and happygiggles makes me think of a line I use on customers a lot if they offer a low amount for sex:
If you're going to falsely call me a hooker, at least don't call me a CHEAP hooker.
Sveta
09-02-2008, 01:46 PM
pl: damn baby you look so good
me: i look even better naked. wanna go vip?
pl:how much
me: 50. ten to the bar 40 to me
pl: i know you gonna let me fuck
me: i don't sell pussy
pl: i'll give you 50
me: look here, i said i don't sell pussy. that doesn't have a price. and if it did 50 ain't gonna get you jacked off. i have morals.
pl: morals? you already a prostitute. i don't know what the fuck wrong wit yall dumb ass hos.
i blame this on myself as i should have walked away a long time before it got this far
hey, at least you can walk away...whereas he's stuck with his own dumbass self 24/7 for life. :P
Luxurious1
09-02-2008, 02:29 PM
"Did u just have a baby?"
"No..did you?" *he had a huge pot belly*
"OMG. Steve come here. this bitch thinks MEN can have babies, hahahhaha!"
*steve blinks at his PL friend*
Steve got a dance from me.
Polekitten
09-02-2008, 02:39 PM
"Did u just have a baby?"
"No..did you?" *he had a huge pot belly*
"OMG. Steve come here. this bitch thinks MEN can have babies, hahahhaha!"
*steve blinks at his PL friend*
Steve got a dance from me.
I love this one, go Steve!
txchick008
09-02-2008, 02:42 PM
"Did u just have a baby?"
What the hell? What was his deal? That's an odd question to just come out of nowhere...