View Full Version : Stupid Customer Comments
AlexxaHex
09-12-2008, 12:07 PM
When I wouldn't let a guy feel my boobs during a dance last night, he said he just KNEW I had intimacy issues. ::)
So I kindly asked him if me having intimacy issues gave him a boner.
CKXXX
09-12-2008, 12:15 PM
Guy comes up to me last night and starts rambling right away..like total word vomit. Tells me how he sells time shares and that business is shitty and nobody should buy one.....that he has one ex dancer and 2 prostitutes working in his office(actually THREE...you'll see..!!)....blah blah...
Then he tells me(this is like one long sentance BTW....he doesnt even tell me his name....its almost as if he's been holding it in and couldnt anymore...he HAD to tell SOMEONE...and yay..lucky me)that he had a gay cpl once who were about to sign...had to go pick up the other one at the hotel. He answers the door naked and tells the guy that if he comes inside and plays with them that they'll sign. Yeah...he did(hence the third hooker!).
Why was it absolutely vital for me to know he had a gay threesome to get a timeshare contract signed???
When I have my surgery on Mon...I'm going to see if they can take out my freak magnet too!!!
Pretty_Penny
09-12-2008, 02:09 PM
the other day a black guy asked me if i was racist right up front. i told him no and he said "i'm glad. i only like really white girls and you're the whitest one here".
o teh painful irony.
Luxurious1
09-13-2008, 11:12 PM
^ lol
NewMoon
09-14-2008, 05:21 AM
the other day a black guy asked me if i was racist right up front. i told him no and he said "i'm glad. i only like really white girls and you're the whitest one here".
o teh painful irony.
I personally don't consider a preference for a girl's skin colour to be racist. There are guys at my club who are white and only get dances from Asians or Blacks. It's not racism, just preference IMO.
VegasPrincess
09-14-2008, 05:39 AM
Ahh...a lovely gem from last week.
"Are you from California?"
(me) "Not really I'm from here but lived in LV for a bunch of years."
(him to friend) "Ha! See that explains why she's so ditzy!"
LOVELY
saphire123456
09-14-2008, 09:36 AM
guy from last night, (we are in the CR)-whats your name
me- sapphire
him-no, its not, whats your real name
me- samantha (my fake real name)
him-no its not, whats your real name..
me->:(
him-where are you from?
me- around here
him- no, you're not, you're from like the midwest
me-::) >:(
him- where do you hang out?
me- "name of place"
him- no, you don't, that place sucks.
me- >:( OK, how about you just tell me what my name is, where i'm from and what i like and dislike, and i'll just agree with you so we can go on with our lives? (At this point I'm kind of yelling and all the other people in the CR are lstaring at us)
same assmonkey, 10 minutes later
me- oh no, i think our time is up, lets stay longer..
him-how much is it
me-its still $$$
him- what, i don't get a discount for my fun personality?
me- discount?!?!? I ought to charge you MORE!
Pretty_Penny
09-14-2008, 07:54 PM
I personally don't consider a preference for a girl's skin colour to be racist. There are guys at my club who are white and only get dances from Asians or Blacks. It's not racism, just preference IMO.
i understand your point, but after saying what he said... it was still pretty ironic. also, he went on to say how he doesn't like black women.
so, i'd wager he's racist. you -can- be racist against your own color.
NewMoon
09-14-2008, 07:57 PM
^^^hmmm.... interesting. There is definitely a difference between being more sexually attracted to white women and disliking black women as people. IMO one is racist and the other is not.
Crow2
09-14-2008, 08:49 PM
i understand your point, but after saying what he said... it was still pretty ironic. also, he went on to say how he doesn't like black women.
so, i'd wager he's racist. you -can- be racist against your own color.
Definitely! Thats called "color struck"
Amber_Sparxx
09-15-2008, 01:34 AM
Maybe not racist, but still.....definitely discriminatory to a certain degree. I do have to agree with NM that every guy is entitled to his preference, but damn dude, how off-putting! And certainly unnecessary. It's not like he's giving her a compliment on something within her control. Let's face it, sometimes the poor darlings just have diarrhea of the mouth when you put naked sexiness in front of them. ::)
cadenceq
09-15-2008, 02:21 AM
Guy - *waves $5 (I thought it was a tip, so I went up) "I'll give you this if you take your top off and let me motorboat you"
Me - 'You think I'd take 5 to degrade myself, get fucked"
Guy - "But strippers do anything for cash"
Me - "Yeah, and security do anything for strippers. Get the fuck out of here before they drag you out"
and the other grear one (that was incredibly adorable from a young guy during a dance)
"Why are you taking your clothes off? I thought it was just a dance?" - this guy was a real sweetheart the whole time cos it was his first time
cadenceq
09-15-2008, 02:24 AM
"If I can't have sex with you, can I at least put my cock in you and not come, than we'll both be happy" - I kicked this man right where he deserved it.
thechaosfairy
09-15-2008, 03:13 AM
Guy comes up to me last night and starts rambling right away..like total word vomit. Tells me how he sells time shares and that business is shitty and nobody should buy one.....that he has one ex dancer and 2 prostitutes working in his office(actually THREE...you'll see..!!)....blah blah...
Then he tells me(this is like one long sentance BTW....he doesnt even tell me his name....its almost as if he's been holding it in and couldnt anymore...he HAD to tell SOMEONE...and yay..lucky me)that he had a gay cpl once who were about to sign...had to go pick up the other one at the hotel. He answers the door naked and tells the guy that if he comes inside and plays with them that they'll sign. Yeah...he did(hence the third hooker!).
Why was it absolutely vital for me to know he had a gay threesome to get a timeshare contract signed???
When I have my surgery on Mon...I'm going to see if they can take out my freak magnet too!!!
This sounds very much like it didn't actually happen, and rather, the guy is a repressed gay guy who has fantasies of having a situation where he was "forced by circumstance" to suck dick. Dan Savage gives an earful about that sort of thing in his columns!
CKXXX
09-15-2008, 07:21 AM
This sounds very much like it didn't actually happen, and rather, the guy is a repressed gay guy who has fantasies of having a situation where he was "forced by circumstance" to suck dick. Dan Savage gives an earful about that sort of thing in his columns!
Yeah I thought of that...he was a mousy looking guy with glasses and a dirty comb over...NOT the type gay guys would usually flock to to be their third.
And I love Dan Savage!
But WHYYYY did I have to be the one to hear this???? I cant count the number of guys over the years that have volunteered their gay experiences/fantasies with me. I love me some queens but DAMN...sometimes you get tired of hearing the details!!!
NikkaR
09-15-2008, 04:32 PM
So far I haven't run into too many assholes. But a couple 1 customer stands out so far.
I started talking to this customer, and I mentioned I started dancing a couple weeks ago. Turns out, he's one of the customers who "feels bad" about getting LDs and says he rarely goes to clubs, so I quickly but cordially ended the exchange. He ended up watching me and regularly reappearing for the rest of the night to give me "advice" on what I was doing wrong, what I needed to do differently during dances, how I "look new" on stage, blah blah.
Bothered me at first, but after the 3rd time I just ignored the idiot when he'd appear. Funny thing is, his "critique" was a load of shit. I've been performing on stage since I was 6 years old, I get constant positive feedback from managers and customers, I've done well since I began, and recently started to BANK. It's sad that people will try to shake your confidence for their own fucked up ends, but it ain't my problem.
ViolaStrings
09-15-2008, 05:50 PM
^ $2 for you to be a puppet for his amusement? $2 for him to laugh at you?
I swear some of the people who come to strip clubs are the kind of people who will dangle a dollar in front of a homeless person and make them do something humiliating to get it.
gingerlee
09-16-2008, 11:37 PM
After my last show tonight I was sitting downstairs doing promo. A huge guy lumbered over to where my stuff was set up. He started looking at my magazines and out of nowhere he goes....
Him:'Are you a lesbian or something? Why the fuck would you take pictures making out with girls?'
Me:'I'm not a lesbian, I'm bisexual.'
Him: 'What the fuck does that mean? You hate men don't you?'
Me:'No not all of them. Just a special few.'
He looked confused and wandered off.
CKXXX
09-17-2008, 10:20 AM
After my last show tonight I was sitting downstairs doing promo. A huge guy lumbered over to where my stuff was set up. He started looking at my magazines and out of nowhere he goes....
Him:'Are you a lesbian or something? Why the fuck would you take pictures making out with girls?'
Me:'I'm not a lesbian, I'm bisexual.'
Him: 'What the fuck does that mean? You hate men don't you?'
Me:'No not all of them. Just a special few.'
He looked confused and wandered off.
All I can hear in my head is "Heeer's your sign"...LOLOL
Havana
09-17-2008, 01:09 PM
"your pussy looks like if i kissed it, it would kiss back."
*vomit*
NewMoon
09-17-2008, 07:19 PM
Custie: You have a big clit.
Me: That's not my clit, that my inner labia.
Custie: Oh.
saphire123456
09-17-2008, 07:55 PM
Custie: You have a big clit.
Me: That's not my clit, that my inner labia.
Custie: Oh.
ha! figures. men....::)
mediocrity
09-17-2008, 11:50 PM
Custie: You have a big clit.
Me: That's not my clit, that my inner labia.
Custie: Oh.
Reminds me of one:
Me: *dancing on stage*
Customer: *comes up and tips me* You have a really big clit! Does it work?!
Me: No. It's in the shop.
Assface.
Sveta
09-18-2008, 10:18 PM
Well, well...my first night back to work and I overheard a gem, from a custy to a girl sitting with him at the stage I was on:
custy: where are you from?
girl: England
custy: oh...well you speak English really well!
I almost fell off the stage laughing. What does he think they speak in the UK? :laughing:
Kabukicho
09-18-2008, 10:30 PM
^If only I had a dollar for every time.
"Say something to me in British" was my favourite.
Sveta
09-18-2008, 10:46 PM
"Say something to me in British"
"wanker!" :P
J_Lynne
09-18-2008, 10:48 PM
^^^:rotfl:
CherryBomb954
09-18-2008, 11:00 PM
Well, well...my first night back to work and I overheard a gem, from a custy to a girl sitting with him at the stage I was on:
custy: where are you from?
girl: England
custy: oh...well you speak English really well!
I almost fell off the stage laughing. What does he think they speak in the UK? :laughing:
What in the shit is wrong with people.....?!
Sveta
09-18-2008, 11:14 PM
What in the shit is wrong with people.....?!
lol, if you want to hear customers hilariously talking out of their asses, just steer the topic to anything foreign.
I've been told by customers that Italy doesn't really exist, that I must be lying about speaking Russian b/c "schools aren't allowed to teach you that", that it takes 4 years to get your driver's license in Sweden, and that people in Spain inject drugs into meat and serve it to tourists in restaurants so they can rob them when they pass out.
ellebelle
09-18-2008, 11:42 PM
Me: Do you want a dance?
Him: How about you show me some moves first girly?
Me: Sure I've got one just for you.
Him: .. really?
Me: Yeah this is me, walking away.. *walks away*
Him: :(
MissAlethea
09-19-2008, 01:47 AM
^ *snrk* that's brilliant... truly brilliant... *giggles to herself for the rest of the night*
Kabukicho
09-19-2008, 07:17 AM
"wanker!" :P
:D :D
Customers + Foreign Affairs = Fail
I try so hard to put on an American accent now, just to deflect the inevitable ridiculous questions.
CKXXX
09-19-2008, 07:54 AM
:rotfl:
I'm glad somebody got that!!!
Sveta
09-19-2008, 09:25 AM
Me: Do you want a dance?
Him: How about you show me some moves first girly?
Me: Sure I've got one just for you.
Him: .. really?
Me: Yeah this is me, walking away.. *walks away*
Him: :(
hahahahahaha that's brilliant. You win. ;D
Sveta
09-19-2008, 09:34 AM
I try so hard to put on an American accent now, just to deflect the inevitable ridiculous questions.
oh I love ridiculous questions! They make me giggle. :P
My favorite is whenever I'm playing around with accents at work and I get a guy who starts gushing about how amazing I am and trashing American girls for supposedly being boring prudes and saying how "you're sooo much better than those American girls"...and they really have no clue that they actually have a Baltimore native on their laps! :rotfl:
jzman528
09-19-2008, 10:17 AM
Ok this is my first post as i just joined. I have to say this shit is funny as hell! I have to make sure I listen more at the clubs more!
Really don't theses guys realize, its a job and you are there to make money? I have to say i am ashamed to be a man right now with all of the stupid as comments and questions i have seen on here by customers.
I guess it is true women are the better sex. "POWER TO THE PUSSY"
ViolaStrings
09-19-2008, 11:57 AM
^ non industry men are not allowed to post in stripping general. It's kind of our secret fort/tree house.
charlie61
09-19-2008, 01:40 PM
Ok this is my first post as i just joined. I have to say this shit is funny as hell! I have to make sure I listen more at the clubs more!
Really don't theses guys realize, its a job and you are there to make money? I have to say i am ashamed to be a man right now with all of the stupid as comments and questions i have seen on here by customers.
I guess it is true women are the better sex. "POWER TO THE PUSSY"
Everyone says stupid shit. Women are definitely no exception.
NewMoon
09-19-2008, 01:43 PM
Everyone says stupid shit. Women are definitely no exception.
Just check out "Overheard in the Dressing Room" :O
NikkaR
09-19-2008, 05:22 PM
A good one from last night that I couldn't wait to post:
I get the guy into the $30 dance section. Before the next song he pulls out a wad of cash, fumbling with it, then asks, "How much content with the dances?"
Me: "Ah, umm, pardon?"
Idiot: "How much content do I get?"
Me: "I'm sorry, I don't think I understand..."
Idiot: "Like how much do I get to touch you?"
Me: "Ohh... you mean contact?"
Idiot, looking confused: "No. Content. Like how much we can touch..."
Me, doing my best to act sexy and not laugh: "Well, up here is a lot more intimate than the floor, so you'll have to see..."
He seemed disappointed, and of course left after 1 song. I guess I didn't give him enough "content" haha. But for anyone who explicitly asks, I'm sure that nothing's going to be good enough.
Luxurious1
09-19-2008, 07:12 PM
Well, well...my first night back to work and I overheard a gem, from a custy to a girl sitting with him at the stage I was on:
custy: where are you from?
girl: England
custy: oh...well you speak English really well!
I almost fell off the stage laughing. What does he think they speak in the UK? :laughing:
LMAO hilarious
indianprincess
09-20-2008, 11:03 AM
Why do men want to know my age?
How much I weigh?
Do they do this to women in real life?
Fucking look at me, tard. I'm sitting naked on top of you and you have to ask me how old I am, how much I weigh? Why? Does it matter? I'M RIGHT IN YOUR FACE AND I'M NAKED AND YOU CAN FEEL MY ACTUAL WEIGHT ON YOU - IT DOESN'T GET MORE PRECISE THAN THAT!
NewMoon
09-20-2008, 04:03 PM
^^^Seriously. I don't get it either! Sometimes I'll have a guy ask my measurements like bra size, waist, hips, ect. Why? You can tell if I'm hot or not because I'm right here!
dance77
09-20-2008, 07:21 PM
"theres alot beautiful girls in this club and girls who get impants to want to be beautiful , what makes you so special so I will want to spend my money on you "(dweeb)>:(
dance77
09-20-2008, 07:22 PM
When I ignored him I ended up getting 10 songs from his friend while he stalked us upstairs and tried to pull the same line with another girl...OMG!
NewMoon
09-20-2008, 09:22 PM
^^^Ugh, I've gotten a similar line. Guys have actually asked me "Are you a bad girl?" meaning "Do you do extras?" WTF??
NewMoon
09-20-2008, 09:39 PM
^^^Me too. It's like they want us to beg or something. It's a $20 lapdance. You're not shopping for a new wife. Get over yourself.
CKXXX
09-20-2008, 10:20 PM
^Yeah! I'm not begging anyone for a dance. The other day i was talking to a couple guys and there was a two for one nude special going, and he didn't say anything so i kept talking for a bit, then after it was over he was like okay let's go do that 2 for 1, i said that the special was over and he had the nerve to tell me to go tell the dj to run it again. I said i wasn't going to tell the dj what to do and he said do it or i won't get a dance. I said fine with me and that pissed him off so badly he left the club!
OK,he was a dick..but why didnt you ask if he wanted to do the special?
CKXXX
09-20-2008, 10:40 PM
^Sorry forgot to mention that i did ask and he didn't say anything, just ignored the question.
AH HA! Ok that makes more sense!!;)
PinotEvil
09-20-2008, 11:08 PM
a guy asked for more girls. He was by himself, buddywise. He already had two girls with him and they were both underage, so it was just him and me drinking. I tried to start a conversation but he just kept looking at me blankly. He finally says, "I need another guy to come sit over here with us." /:O
Sure enough, he found another dude sitting by himself and sent one of the other girls to go get him. I asked duder before his new buddy came over "why would you want another guy here, with all these hot women for yourself?" He didn't even answer my question, but just said, "Show me your boobs and I'll give you two dollars."
:O I think he was psycho.