View Full Version : Stupid Customer Comments
davka
10-20-2008, 09:29 PM
asshole: i have so much fucking money. do you realize how much money I have?
me: good! you came to the right place. let's go for a dance.
asshole: no i hate money. fuck money. i fucking hate it. lets do it for free. money ruins everything.
i walked away laughing and he ended up getting kicked out for threatening to kill a girl. he was the sickest motherfucker i have ever encountered in my life. he was a sociopath for sure.
Rockell
10-20-2008, 09:34 PM
^^^^ LOL....sounds like he was out of his mind on drugs AND crazy to boot.
At least he got kicked out.....
CarlyMIA
10-20-2008, 10:57 PM
PL: before u dance for me u gotta pass a mini test..
me: okie... Shoot
PL: what's the numerical equivalent of Pi?
me: 3.14
PL: WOW you're so smart! I only get dances from girls who t smart and sexy and you're definitely my type!
Me: well thank u! every eighth grader knows this hehe.. Ready for a dance now?
PL: I'm gonna have to wait actually...
Uhmmmm ok loser... Wasted 4 minutes of my time!!!
ViolaStrings
10-20-2008, 11:09 PM
^ what a dumb fuck. He thought you weren't going to know.
If there's anything strippers know, it's numbers!
indianprincess
10-21-2008, 12:33 AM
Deleted
davka
10-21-2008, 01:38 PM
ohmygod Indianprincess aint that the fucking truth. I have met so many of those assholes. UGH! Just imagining that made my fucking skin crawl. I hate those guys so bad.
I also hate the guys who tell you all about their daughters and how you look like them.
One guy: Jesus saves. Grace is free.
Me: Yeah, but this isn't. You owe me $150, babe.
Fuck the saviors.
Rockell
10-21-2008, 02:15 PM
Customer: look at you, you really should get out of this place, you're too beautiful, you deserve better. Get out, and I hope you stay with your schooling.
Me: Oh thank you for your advice.
Customer:I am not offending you, I hope? Please do not take offense.
Me: No. *Yawn, roll eyes, make face.*
Customer: No really, you seem like a really good girl, very nice, intelligent.
Me: Oh thank you that's so sweet, *bmlerhgh, yawn.*
Customer: So how much um, do you take outside calls, like can I take you home.
Me: So you've never been here, you tell me to get out, and then you have the nerve to you ask me to come home with you?
Customer: Oh, I am so sorry, I don't know, I don't know about these places, isn't this what happens in other places.
Me: Sorry bud. I just dance.
Customer: But you know, other girls, they do work on the side, you know.
Me: You fucking Catholics.
So they try to save me while seeing if they can get to fuck me. Then he keeps on bugging me if he can come to MY place. GMARB!
:banghead: OMG, I would have totally lost my patience with this guy....
MissAlethea
10-21-2008, 05:35 PM
One guy: Jesus saves. Grace is free.
Me: Yeah, but this isn't. You owe me $150, babe.
BWAhahahahahahaha.... that's brilliant. Can has for sig quote plz?
fantasiarene
10-22-2008, 01:46 AM
From Monday night
Custie: You want a drink?
Me: (watching tv since it's dead) No thank you I don't drink
Custie: oh okay. I guess you're pissed off
Me: No, I'm just catching up on sports
C: No you're pissed off.
M: You've just met me, you don't know me, and you're trying to tell me that I'm pissed off? (oddly enough I'm keeping my cool)
C: What's your first name?
M: Are you crazy? You don't come in here asking a dancer for her first name. (I really should have left before it got to this point)
C: I like you. You know why I like you? Cuz you're a hardy bitch?
M: Do what?!!!!
C: You're a hardy bitch (said with a huge smile)
M: Buddy, you call me a bitch again and I swear to God I'll knock the shit out of you. (finally walks away)
I should have just gotten up and left before it got that far. He came in with 2 buddies for a bachelor's night out before the wedding the next day. The 2 buddies were sweet as pie but he was just crazy. The other 2 were tipping but he ruined the chance for me to sit with them.
she sells sanctuary
10-23-2008, 06:06 AM
^ omg. i would've totally told him how much i'd love to kick him in the balls and fuck him in the ass, or dress him up like a pony and ride him around the club. i dunno exactly.
but that's my new way of talking to difficult customers. maybe they'll be into it and break out the credit card, or maybe they'll learn to shut up.
JayATee
10-24-2008, 12:44 AM
The other night a custie comes up to me and asks me for a dance... so I walk over to the chair with him and he REFUSES to sit down! He wanted me to dance WITH him, not FOR him. It was totally my fault though bc this was the same asshole that refused to tip any of us on stage so I should've known better......
Julez
10-24-2008, 03:06 AM
I was in the middle of a dance when this young cocky customer says "if I ask you nicely will you take off your wig?"....I wasnt wearing a wig! He felt so stupid, he gave me an extra $20, and a good laugh in the dressing room.
CarlyMIA
10-24-2008, 07:15 PM
From Monday night
Custie: You want a drink?
Me: (watching tv since it's dead) No thank you I don't drink
Custie: oh okay. I guess you're pissed off
Me: No, I'm just catching up on sports
C: No you're pissed off.
M: You've just met me, you don't know me, and you're trying to tell me that I'm pissed off? (oddly enough I'm keeping my cool)
C: What's your first name?
M: Are you crazy? You don't come in here asking a dancer for her first name. (I really should have left before it got to this point)
C: I like you. You know why I like you? Cuz you're a hardy bitch?
M: Do what?!!!!
C: You're a hardy bitch (said with a huge smile)
M: Buddy, you call me a bitch again and I swear to God I'll knock the shit out of you. (finally walks away)
I should have just gotten up and left before it got that far. He came in with 2 buddies for a bachelor's night out before the wedding the next day. The 2 buddies were sweet as pie but he was just crazy. The other 2 were tipping but he ruined the chance for me to sit with them.
Why would you refuse a drink? LoL
He was trying to show interest in you... at least get a bottle of water or something.... just my opinion.. I wouldn't just brush off an offer for a drink!
fantasiarene
10-24-2008, 10:29 PM
I don't like to drink at work and I don't drink sodas. We don't have bottled water at our bar either. Now if we sold sparkling water I would have definetly accepted.
ediblecrayonz
10-24-2008, 11:19 PM
As I bent over in front of a customer on stage...
"man, my wife is gonna get it tonight!!!"
(in that strange, growly, overly excited voice only the creepiest of creepy customers have)
CherryBomb954
10-28-2008, 11:30 AM
Me: "(blah blah blah hustle) ....would you like a dance?"
Cust: (looks me up and down) "No, I need someone with some tits. Here's 2$. Could you send me someone over with a chest?"
Me: (takes two dollars) "Yeah, sure hun!" (fake smile)
.....sends bouncer over to remove douchebag from club. Douchebag gets removed as I stand in the doorway to wish him a lovely evening.
charlie61
10-28-2008, 02:39 PM
^^ Seriously??????
I can't believe you handled that so well. :O
pixierocksonthepole
10-28-2008, 02:48 PM
Working in Barley Legal New Orleans and was the youngest girl at the time. 2 years ago.
me " hello, my name is quinn may i sit with you?"
old man "come back when you get some tits."
me "im 19 asshole, 19 yr olds shouldnt be getting fake tits. besides i dont believe in them."
old man "well im 55 and i have a dick."
me "well good for you, go home and give it to your wife because there isn't one girl in here that wants it."
needless to say i left there early that night with 100 and went over to hustler down the street and made 900 off one man that was a complete gentleman.
ViolaStrings
10-28-2008, 03:13 PM
Me: "(blah blah blah hustle) ....would you like a dance?"
Cust: (looks me up and down) "No, I need someone with some tits. Here's 2$. Could you send me someone over with a chest?"
Me: (takes two dollars) "Yeah, sure hun!" (fake smile)
.....sends bouncer over to remove douchebag from club. Douchebag gets removed as I stand in the doorway to wish him a lovely evening.
I would have thrown a beer bottle in his face.
msb1973
10-29-2008, 07:39 PM
A few dumbass comments I've heard in my two years in the biz...
Good Friday of 2007 worked dayshift. I'm on stage and two guys come up to the tip rail. The one looks at me and says "Dang, you got some delicious lookin beaver!" (I wasn't bottomless) so in return I say "Awwww! Thanks hon! They said chivalry's dead but now I know it's not with such a sweet comment!" His friend burst into laughter.
Drunk douchebag is sitting with me and goes on and on about how I'm degrading myself by being a dancer, then launches into a speech about how I must be too stupid to do anything else, I need to go back and get my GED (I have a college degree), and how I need to quit "takin my money home to my deadbeat man". I say "Oh, so what do you do for a living?" Dude says "I'm unemployed." NICE!
Best one was just a month or so ago. Bachelor party in club. Hot lookin guy. Ended up talking with him and the rest of the party and they were really cool, very respectful. In fact, the hot guy is a collegue of my ex-husband's, they work in the same school district. They're leaving and hot guy says how much he enjoyed my company, so nice talkin to me, good luck in my schooling, etc. then says "Oh, by the way, how much do we have to pay you to meet us at a motel and give the bachelor a hand job?" They were so nice all night so I was taken back a bit. I just looked at him and said "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll call Dr. _________ the Superintendent at the Board Office on Monday and we can discuss prices with him." Hot guy/High School Football coach turned red and left...quickly.
I'm mean, but then again there's only so much disrespect I take...
sorsi
11-01-2008, 02:04 PM
This wasn't just once...whenever I wear this at work:
http://cgi.ebay.com/10-Row-Queen-Bridal-Crystal-Rhinestone-Choker-C020_W0QQitemZ220303564422QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item 220303564422&_trkparms=72%3A1326%7C39%3A1%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C 240%3A1318&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14
I always get at least two guys a night seriously asking "are those real diamonds?"
:laughing:
ViolaStrings
11-01-2008, 02:39 PM
^ I do too! I respond "If they were do you think I'd be working here?"
Pretty_Penny
11-01-2008, 02:47 PM
^i third that. whenever i wear rhinestone anything i get asked if it's "real".
wtf?
A. how can you NOT tell
and
B. like i'd be wearing that at the club if it were. honestly, that shit would be on ebay. lol
ViolaStrings
11-16-2008, 01:42 AM
Some guy tonight told me I need to come to his house and scrub his floor, for free. He meant it and thought he was so cool. He was such a fucking asshole.
BoxOfPandora
02-16-2009, 09:22 PM
When I started my set, on customer said "You get to dance for us now? Lucky you!"
Who's the one getting to see a naked girl way better than anything they'll ever get.
Same group, an other guy kept sticking his tongue out making dumb noises. I whispered to him, "Stick that back in or you might lose it."
SAME group, "I think your panties need to come off" while brandishing a dollar. My club doesn't force us to take our bottoms off completely. They weren't tipping enough and I had enough of their shit, so I responded, "I think you need to start tipping 10s and 20s, and stop acting like drunken neanderthal fucks."
Oh, and my club has no alcohol. Guess what empty cans we found where they were sitting.
julzgulz
02-16-2009, 11:44 PM
Lol I havn't read through the whole thread, but i had to start a blog a few months back about this. Mostly it's dealing with the same questions I get asked.
they always ask if I have a bf and I say no...which is the truth I am single right now. Then they always ask "Why?" lmfao, how am I supposed to answer...I am single PERIOD, because I AM! Then they argue with me and tell me I'm lying.
Then one that I hate the most "How old are you?" I hate that more than anything.
24karat
02-17-2009, 12:10 AM
Me: Hey, would you like to have a dance
customer: Honey, your beautiful, i'd give you all my money if you came to my room but not here
me: What makes me believe you'll give me any money in your room and you won't even give me a dollar here?
Customer: You know what, your too smart for your own good, go find me a dumb stripper and i'll give you 20 bucks!
Me: Wow, a whole 20 bucks, yeah sure, right away master!
MonkeyWench
02-17-2009, 09:21 AM
I did a short stint at this hole-in-the-wall biker bar and had an old guy ask me if I'd ever had my clit gummed before. That's right. Gummed.
He then said 'oh, I suppose you're a bit young for that. It's really great, I take out my dentures and roll the clit between my gums.' :O I told him that sounded delightful and walked away.
CarlyMIA
02-17-2009, 09:44 AM
I did a short stint at this hole-in-the-wall biker bar and had an old guy ask me if I'd ever had my clit gummed before. That's right. Gummed.
He then said 'oh, I suppose you're a bit young for that. It's really great, I take out my dentures and roll the clit between my gums.' :O I told him that sounded delightful and walked away.
EWwwww... Wow... I'm speechless!
Evan86
02-17-2009, 09:57 PM
during a three girl show on the bar guy says to me
"i'll give you 5 bucks to fart in that girls face right now!"
wtf? Bwaaa ha haaa!!!
Evan86
02-17-2009, 10:34 PM
During a three girl show on the bar guy says to me
"I'll give you 5 bucks to fart in that girls face right now!"
me: *dance-shimmy over to pole, pose, strut, wiggle in front of two middle-aged white guys*
middle aged white guy #1: "hell yeah! i'd eat that bitch with a yeast infection!"
friend: *guffaw guffaw*
me: *raises eyebrow* wow....that's like...the best thing i've ever heard. ever.
mawg: *sputter*
friend: *stare*
mawg: you didn't hear what i said! you can't have heard it!
friend: *nods his agreement*
me: oh, but i did....
mawg: *looks HORRIBLY embarrassed* did you REALLY?
friend: *looks embarrassed for his friend*
me: yes, yes i did.
mawg: *suspicious* wait -- what'd i say then?
me: i don't think it bears repeating, but it was pretty bad. you win for nastiest comment ever...even if it WAS kind of a compliment.
mawg: *embarrassed again* you did hear me....
friend: she did.... *swigs beer*
me: *nods* i did.
then they gave me a bunch of money and were generally pleasant customers.
also some drunk ass guy jabbering on and on about how my ass was like an "onion" .... so hot it brings a tear to your eye. and his friends nodding in agreement, about "onion ass." whatever dude....
i can't believe that out of 7 months of dancing those are the only comments that really stood out. the rest is kinda like the adults in charlie brown... wa wa wa wa wa wa
OH!!! i almost forgot....the guy who came up to tip me onstage who enthusiastically said i looked "a lot like his daughter." GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs... he was a native guy, and he went on to explain that his daughter was half-white, and with blond hair and light eyes, and she looked a lot like me. i was like "....right....um.....thanks......wow....." *pointedly avoids scary daughter-guy for rest of night*
ROTFLMAO!! Onion ass! WTF?
Lemonz
02-23-2009, 03:49 PM
I didn't even start dancing yet, just went in to talk to the manager and get an audition. I met a lovely fellow at the bar, though...
Drunk guy at bar- There's a 13 year old boy I know that's been missing for 33 years. *whips out picture* Have you seen him?
Me- I wouldn't be sitting right next to him, would I?
Drunk guy- Yeah...! How did you know!? I always get people with that...
What a creeper...! What would possess you to carry around a picture of yourself when you were thirteen and show it to random people? And then try to get a potential stripper to take ballet classes from your niece?
dayna
02-23-2009, 03:56 PM
Me: dancing, giving a customer a lapdance
Custie: I've got a hard on, what can i do with it?
Me: Absolutly nothing!
Custie: So I've got a hard on and i can't have sex with you?
Me: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww hell no!
mediocrity
02-23-2009, 05:02 PM
I did a short stint at this hole-in-the-wall biker bar and had an old guy ask me if I'd ever had my clit gummed before. That's right. Gummed.
He then said 'oh, I suppose you're a bit young for that. It's really great, I take out my dentures and roll the clit between my gums.' :O I told him that sounded delightful and walked away.
That is simultaneously the most revolting and hilarious thing I have ever heard. How fucking bizarre!!
rasberryred
02-23-2009, 05:26 PM
It was a real relief to discover that they don't even allow grinding in VIP at my new club, and only light stuff in the Champagne Room. But a couple hours away in Miami it is generally pretty high contact, and a lot of clubs have a lot of extras going on.
But I'm glad your instincts protected you in this case.
do you mind sharing where some of the less contact places in miami are? thanks so much!
velvet
02-23-2009, 07:41 PM
do you mind sharing where some of the less contact places in miami are? thanks so much!
no such thing. they are all full contact "friction" dances.
MissMynxx
02-23-2009, 07:44 PM
Chick Tracts (http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp) are the best thing that fundamentalist Christians have ever come out with. Scroll down at that link and you can see them online. Fundamentalists leave them in places where they'll be found, or give them to people they're trying to "save." I used to get them all the time when I was a waitress, and you often see them in little piles in gas station bathrooms in the South (they're hoping you'll pick them up to read while you're on the john, and get saved when you see their Awesome Message).
Oh my god this has happened to me. And I dance in Vegas! lol I got it from a guy who I hadn't even spoken a word to after talking to a group of younger guys about my Dungeons and Dragons game I had over the weekend. Sure enough, I got the tract about DnD. I could not stop laughing. I still have the thing! ::)
Jessamin
02-23-2009, 08:50 PM
I reaceacently bought clip in extension to wear on weekends and the first night I wore them, I got some guy with a hair fetish. He couldn't stop touch and smelling my hair, and kept telling me how great it was that some girls still wore their hair long, and how good mine felt and smelled. I had to try and stop myself from laughing when he said I had the nicest hair in there - I wonder what he would have thought if he saw me after work without the extansions.
I had another guy who asked to buy my panties - not unusual and since I was having a slow night, I said yes (he paid about ten times as much as they cost me). The wierd part was, right after I gave them to him, he started smelling them, not the crotch either, but the string that goes between your arse cheeks. He later asked if he could sniff my butt druing a dance.
I also had a customer ask me to fuck his sheep. He had brought a sheep shaped blow-up doll with him. I got paid for a VIP dance just to grind against his sheep. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
ViolaStrings
02-24-2009, 08:53 AM
^ You could have sold your used panties for WAY more than that.
Jessamin
02-24-2009, 03:56 PM
^ You could have sold your used panties for WAY more than that.
Not at my club... one pair of panties sold = 1 hr in VIP
misslizzy
02-27-2009, 08:42 PM
Me (friendlysmiley): "Hey, how are you doing?"
500 pound man: "Oh, it's ok, I don't want any dances, I already blew my load today."
Me (gamely not assuming the worst meaning): "Awww, what'd you spend it all on?"
500 pound man: "Oh, I blew it in the shower this morning; there's no point in getting any dances today, it hasn't even twitched since then."
I've got nothing, folks. Nothing.
Cat2008
03-10-2009, 08:42 PM
Ok, I got one recent.
Me *trying to be friendly to older customer*: So, what you drinking?
Custie: Coke
Me: Oh, you don't drink alcohol? How come?
Custie: No, I don't drink alcohol in bars. These places *nod in direction of bartender* making money of you when they sell alcohol to you.
Me::O
PS He was dead serious about that too! He is regular where and always say stuff like that
Here is one more.
As I trying to talk to younger guy, I put down champagne glass which someone else bought me. Young guy talking to me how beautiful I am and how I would be lucky to met someone different from regular custies (meaning himself). He suddenly grabs my glass of champagne and drinks it
"Here, see no one else done it to you did they?"
she sells sanctuary
03-10-2009, 10:13 PM
^ lol. what a lucky girl indeed.
SpeakngEZ
03-11-2009, 12:30 AM
Hahahahaha, the DnD tract was awesome!!!!
knp001
03-11-2009, 05:16 AM
When I started my set, on customer said "You get to dance for us now? Lucky you!"
Who's the one getting to see a naked girl way better than anything they'll ever get.
Same group, an other guy kept sticking his tongue out making dumb noises. I whispered to him, "Stick that back in or you might lose it."
SAME group, "I think your panties need to come off" while brandishing a dollar. My club doesn't force us to take our bottoms off completely. They weren't tipping enough and I had enough of their shit, so I responded, "I think you need to start tipping 10s and 20s, and stop acting like drunken neanderthal fucks."
Oh, and my club has no alcohol. Guess what empty cans we found where they were sitting.
omigod I just spit all over my computer! You kill me...
Nothing sticks out in my mind, just time wasters. I did have one young guy attempt to tip me with a can of beer on stage. I flipped my hair in a *very* exaggerated motion, turned up my nose, and walked to the other end of the stage. hehe, bastard.
oooh, I also hate guys who don't tip or buy dances because "don't you know how bad the economy is right now?" Don't you know this is my job, scum?>:(
Kaelyria
03-11-2009, 05:52 PM
The other night this old guy was following me around the club. I went up to him, and he started grabbing at my thighs and butt. He says 'you turn me into a different person. I could kill you.'
I usually don't move that fast in heels.
FREAKY!:O
The weirdest one I've ever gotten was in my first year of dancing i played up the "barely legal" look with my glasses and a school girl costume (complete with plaid backpack purse). I start talking to this guy sitting at the bar (one of four) and the third sentence out of his mouth, i swear to god, was "I like your look, you look young. you know I'm a convicted paedophile?"
I look right at him, said "I do now!" and walked off to go tell the bouncer.
--
One i used to get with disturbing regularity, like once a month, would go like this:
Custy- "you have really nice skin. "
Me- "thanks"
him -"you're so pale"
me- "i don't get out during the day much. i do work night shift."
him - "really nice skin. I'd like to wear it."
dubya tee eff?!?! I've gotten really good at backing away slowly.
~K
charlie61
03-11-2009, 07:58 PM
^^ Are you for real? Maybe he was just fucking with you to get a reaction? If not, that's effing hilarious!!
LuckyOne
03-11-2009, 08:03 PM
What hotel are you staying at? (Of course I didn't tell him where I was really staying.) Like 5 minutes later, oh do you mind if we stay there too?
Kaelyria
03-11-2009, 08:47 PM
^^ Are you for real? Maybe he was just fucking with you to get a reaction? If not, that's effing hilarious!!
I sincerely hope the paedo was just trying to psyche me out * shudder*. the K-skin suit i wanted to believe was shock-value esp after the second time i heard it, but roughly once a month for the next 7 years? went right past old and back into creepy.
~K
devilkitty
03-12-2009, 11:05 AM
How about "youre not the hottest girl in here but you got a great personality." ummm thanks?
BITCH