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Blue_Dust_Bunny
03-12-2009, 11:19 AM
Custy: So, how much is a dance?

Me: 20 dollars

Custy: Why don't I just finger you for payment? You'd like that, wouldn't you


0_0 Yeah, cause thats why I'm here AT WORK, because I need guys like you for sexual gratification. I think I laughed in his face for a good 3 minutes

ViolaStrings
03-12-2009, 11:50 AM
How about "youre not the hottest girl in here but you got a great personality." ummm thanks?
BITCH

It's ok. I get that a lot. No big deal.

DaniMBSC
03-13-2009, 02:36 PM
A customer at the tip rail had a dollar in his mouth. I just smiled, and took it with my hand - but he wouldn't let go! Dip shit wanted me to take it with MY mouth like some of the other girls do ::) I got pissed, and just yanked it and a corner ripped off. The dude glared at me and ate what was left of the dollar :O

Not a comment - but a nasty-mouth moment counts, right?

*snorts* HAHA...hahahahaha...*tear*

Miss_McKenna
03-13-2009, 10:28 PM
Forgive me if I've already posted this, I don't think I have...

1. I got talking to a guy somehow about my kitten/his cats and he asked what mine looked like. I explained he was white with a gray tail and face, and three gray spots on his back. To which he over-enthusiastically replied "Oh, oh, I get it!! So he looks like a cow, right?!?!".....erm no, he looks like a cat. Never has he been mistaken for a cow... :-\

2. After dancing for a younger guy who (bless him) was clearly nervous and a bit awkward, he started hitting on me and saying he'd like to meet me OTC, take me on a real date etc. I guess I had my polite-rejection face on because he was like "oh! no, no I didn't mean in the typical picking-up-a-stripper way! I'm not creepy! It's not like I'm going to cut you up into little pieces and bury you under my basement or something!!......:-[ Fuck" ;D

Lovely Ush
03-14-2009, 03:56 PM
This one was classic! Last dance of the night in VIP for a guy celebrating his 22 birthday. After the dance he says, "Wow, your beautiful! You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! You're even more beautiful than my MOM!!!!"

I'm like WTF?!? :O did he just say that?

Amber_Sparxx
03-29-2009, 04:58 PM
This one was classic! Last dance of the night in VIP for a guy celebrating his 22 birthday. After the dance he says, "Wow, your beautiful! You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! You're even more beautiful than my MOM!!!!"

I'm like WTF?!? :O did he just say that?


Um...er...wow...ok, what-huh? :eek:

BoxOfPandora
03-29-2009, 07:45 PM
Last night I had a drunk guy (young, early 20s, if even that) try to buy a 2nd CR from me. We don't do credit cards, so he was at the ATM. FIRST he kept trying to insert his card into the slot where receipts come out. I told him he had to swipe it. NEXT he swiped it with the magnetic strip toward him and on the opposite side. I swiped it for him and moved aside so he wouldn't think I'm trying to invade his privacy. THEN after about 3 times he kept saying it wasn't working. I looked at his receipts. Bad pin.

And FINALLY, he used the classic... "I'm gonna call my lawyer. (silence) I'm gonna get this place shut down." He then went on about how he has money in the bank and he can't get to it because it won't take his pin. The whole time he just sounded so awkward, with silences in between phrases.

I just responded "You do that" and walked away and sat on the lap of a customer that had been chilling with me all night.

We had a good laugh about it. He was actually trying to call his lawyer. At 3:45 AM!!!

Went outside with the other custy, where my bf was waiting to pick me up. Recounted the story to him and cool custy's friends, as drunky walked out, looked around stupidly and walked away.

One of the other guys read my mind, because while I was thinking it, he said it. "I feel kinda bad for him. It's not nice to make fun of retards."

chris91
03-29-2009, 09:24 PM
1. I got talking to a guy somehow about my kitten/his cats and he asked what mine looked like. I explained he was white with a gray tail and face, and three gray spots on his back. To which he over-enthusiastically replied "Oh, oh, I get it!! So he looks like a cow, right?!?!".....erm no, he looks like a cat. Never has he been mistaken for a cow... :-\


aahhahahah

Crow2
03-31-2009, 07:19 AM
A small explanation before I post the line.. Long time bar fly. The usual - gets me drinks when it's slow and he's come to know me and visa versa. He was watching me deal with a rather "difficult" customer and as I walked his way with , I guess a look on my face he quipped..

" I thought you were going to fart on him." ( said in a deadpan fashion..)
I retorted with - " No, I save that for the truly deserving."

JayATee
04-02-2009, 12:47 AM
Loser at the tip rail after watching me dance for him, and while I held out my garter for my tip - "I'm not sure"

Umm... I'm sorry, which part was unclear??

And that was right before the jerks who came in saying they were from the Bang Bus and tried to get a bunch of us to "just dance" for them after closing. Yah... ooook, cause I'm sooooo stupid that even if I didn't actually know what the bang bus was I probably could infer from the title that it wasn't just dancing... morons.

Otoki
04-02-2009, 02:11 AM
"I think you need to start tipping 10s and 20s, and stop acting like drunken neanderthal fucks."

^^I'm totally using this sometime.

sunnie86
04-02-2009, 11:42 AM
My 1st year dancing I worked in a truck stop club. Great $$$$ but weird men. anyways here is my story:

on stage last dance so i was nude this skanky looking custie takes out his 2 front teeth and say..." I would love to lick you through my tooth hole" ...ummm nooo...then went to the other side of the stage.

Crow2
04-02-2009, 11:50 AM
Out of town customer asking about good restaurants in town...

Him: "Got any catfish?"
Me: "No, not on me."

blueroo
04-02-2009, 04:28 PM
After spending a very quick $150 or so on me, says, "I'll give you $200 if you have sex with me when you get off work."

And he says this like he just offered me a sum of money with several more zeros at the end.

He proceeded to tell me I wasn't worth more than that; and then asked for my manager. He got to talk with my bouncer, who asked what the problem seemed to be.

Grabby perv says, "I walked in with $500...and these two girls took it all from me."

Bouncer: "They wouldn't steal it. Did you girls steal it?" We shake our heads.

Perv: "No, I mean they suckered it out of me."

Bouncer: "Sir, that is their job. This is a strip club."

Perv: "I know Joe-so-and-so. You'll all be in trouble!" Looking at me, he goes, "You fucker!"

Lots more gory details, but I thought that was HILARIOUS.

Crow2
04-03-2009, 12:00 AM
You fucker? That's hilarious!

I'm making the rounds, trying to sell a two for one LD. The pitch is buy one get one free. I offer to random guy, he says.. " I don't want anything for free."

I blink and just walk away laughing.

ViolaStrings
04-03-2009, 10:17 AM
"You fucker"? That's hilarious! I had a guy call me an asshole once.

PoleSiren
04-03-2009, 10:14 PM
I got asked this ATLEAST once a day. I told them no, it didn't hurt, lol. It didn't really hurt that bad but of course there was still pain.


Usually I just say "not as much as I hoped it would", and that stops the questions pretty quickly. (in case the "quoting" didn't work properly:P, this is about nipple piercing.

Gypsyeyes1230
04-05-2009, 12:48 PM
Douchebag custie: "You are far to articulate, intellligent and beautiful to be working here"
Me: ah huh *rolls eyes*
Douchebag custie: "So how much to have u for the night?"

Oh boy!!




LMAO... Yep, I've gotten that one too!!!

Gypsyeyes1230
04-05-2009, 12:59 PM
I think I have you ladies beat with this one, lol.

This guy and his friend were staring at me while I danced for this person at the stage. He didn't have a dollar out, but I thought he wanted me to go over there anyway. Well, after I was done with the person I was dancing for on stage, I proceeded to go over to this guy and his friend. He gave me this blank stare and I said, "So, did you want a dance?" Thinking he did, afterall he was eyeing me while I was dancing for the other guy. He says, "Um no, I don't want a dance". Humiliated, I decided to reciprocate and tell him that people who sit on stage are suppose to tip. He says, " I got coupons from my job, do you have a cell phone?" He looks at his friend and hands me these coupons!!! WTF???? I yelled at him and told him he should be embarressed for being a cheapskate. He needed to leave the club ASAP. Why do people HAVE to sit at the stage and watch for free? It's the same thing as being in a restaurant and picking off of a strangers plate!!!

callista
04-06-2009, 03:16 AM
custy: I love that you have a moustache.

me: (omg has it been that long since I got waxed?)

Wow. That was pretty embarassing. Damn italian blood.

lilymiaomiao
04-06-2009, 07:41 PM
I was sitting with an awesome, young, hot gentleman of a customer who kept sliding me $50s and $100 throughout the night to sit with him and have conversation.

When I take a break to go onstage, this greasy older guy wearing chains and an unbuttoned shirt came up to me.

Gross guy:
"Hey. I WANNA LICK YOU. Hey! Come here, girl. I wanna lick yo chinese pussy. What am I supposed to do with THESE, huh? " (flashes me some $10s)


$10?? TENS.

The contrast was so stark, I wasn't even annoyed, I was speechless.

BoxOfPandora
04-06-2009, 07:58 PM
^I'd have been like "You can lick the bottom of my stilettos when I kick you in the face." That just reminds me of when I was waittressing, and had a bitch causing trouble complaining about everything just so she can get free food, left a dollar tip. Same time I finished up a large party. $80 tip!! :D And they were nice as hell and bought me a drink for putting up with them, lol.

lilymiaomiao
04-06-2009, 08:47 PM
If I ever have to deal with asshole jerkfaces, I'd hope it's while I'm working with awesome sweethearts, so they feel like that much more of a BIG JOKE by comparison.

Sometimes, on a bad day, when I get a long string of them, one after another, it does start to get to me.

Heatherette
04-07-2009, 03:01 AM
This one guy took me into the CR for an hour and a half.. wanted me to tell him how he had a fantasy of me going to his mom's house for dinner and tying up his mom and forcing him to fuck her.

Another one.. asked me what my name was. I was it was Luuuuudacrissssss. Then I went on stage and my DJ randomly played "I know what them girls like" lmaooo

jgand
04-07-2009, 06:52 AM
There are a lot of idiots out there. We've all run into our share. The ones with no money and they always have rude comment.

Just have to put that out of your mind and keep moving forward.

chanzep
04-07-2009, 11:52 AM
My night, last night, was going well. At my club, you can get on the bar and dance for the customer.(Don't ask...its Jersey Go-Go...what can I say?)So, Im dancing for one customer and inadvertantly my face must have been in another customer's space. He was eating at the bar...(who the hell eats at a go-go) but I digress...he stuffs his have eaten chicken wing in my face. >:(

Me: Don't disrespect me like that!
Dumbass::O What?, I thought your fat ass needed something to eat.
Me: No, your skinny crackhead ass needed something to eat and thats why you are eating bar food.
Dumbass: Look, I dont have to work at a strip club to make a living.
Me: Was that supposed to make me feel bad? I probably have more degrees than your ass does. :hops of the bar: Smile and go about making my money.
Dumbass: Leaves his plate of food at the bar and is never to be seen again.

LOL;D

chanzep
04-07-2009, 12:05 PM
TELL ME ABOUT IT! Lol. Even before I had bangs, I got this line constantly. You have black hair? I have a thing for black haired girls. mmm.

My fav is still this one...
Me: Hi, what's your name?
Him: I'm (whatever his damn name was)
Me: I'm Violet
Him: EYELID?!
He proceeds to call me Eyelid throughout my entire set.

Yeah dude, Eyelid. My stripper name is fucking EYELID. Sexy.

this is soooooo funny:P

Crow2
04-08-2009, 11:54 AM
Me: Hello! My name is Rhiannon
Random guy: Rhianna?

Me: No, honey - Rhee-ann-ON
Random guy: Ooooh.. Rhianna. That's pretty.

ooookay?

CherryBomb954
04-08-2009, 12:06 PM
I was chatting with a custie last night and the subject of cigarettes came up, cause he asked me if I smoke. I told him I didn't, and that I hate it when I see pretty girls smoking.

I also said one of my favorite models smokes and that she's so beautiful, it bothers me to see her chain smoking (I see her out a few times a year at events I go to)

This is his comment back :

"Oh....so your bisexual then, huh?"

I'm like "What??!"

"Well, just the way you were talking about girls....."

He was completely serious too, not trying to be sarcastic or pervy, just truly inquisitive.

JayATee
04-08-2009, 02:16 PM
Me: Hello! My name is Rhiannon



Oooh! That actually is really pretty! Not Rhianna, I mean Rhiannon. lol.

PoleSiren
04-09-2009, 07:41 AM
"Oh....so your bisexual then, huh?"

I'm like "What??!"

"Well, just the way you were talking about girls....."

He was completely serious too, not trying to be sarcastic or pervy, just truly inquisitive.

Oh yes. It's amazing. The puppies will hear whatever subconsciously fills their fantasy. It's like there's a strip club filter. They walk in looking for a bisexual girl (or fill in the blank stereotype) and surely enough, they will find one. Whether the girl actually is one or not!

I guess it's part of our job to choose whether or not to stay in that pigeon hole and hope it makes us a buck.

"So, you're bisexual then"

"Uh....suuuuuuuuure. Come with me and I'll tell you all about it while I dance for you..."

Crow2
04-09-2009, 09:35 AM
Oooh! That actually is really pretty! Not Rhianna, I mean Rhiannon. lol.


Thank you! :)

;D It's funny. I've been a lot of places and here is the only place my given name is mangled so badly. I suppose it's the lack of teeth. :O

CKXXX
04-09-2009, 10:23 AM
Thank you! :)

;D It's funny. I've been a lot of places and here is the only place my given name is mangled so badly. I suppose it's the lack of teeth. :O

I'm not surprised esp given how much Rhianna has been in the news lately. Its prob a name they've never heard and cant IMAGINE there are TWO similar names they've never heard.

I cant tell you how many times I've gotten "you're name is Carmen(or Camry)?"

Yeah...my pale as fuck blonde,blue eyed self gave myself a Latin name. Or named myself after a low priced Toyota. Thats MUCH more likely then Cameron.

And the sheer amount of douchebags who have smugly INFORMED me that Cameron is a BOYS name boggles my mind. I then take great pleasure in directing their puny minds back to Cameron DIAZ who is VERY female!

Crow2
04-09-2009, 12:13 PM
I'm not surprised esp given how much Rhianna has been in the news lately. Its prob a name they've never heard and cant IMAGINE there are TWO similar names they've never heard.

I cant tell you how many times I've gotten "you're name is Carmen(or Camry)?"

Yeah...my pale as fuck blonde,blue eyed self gave myself a Latin name. Or named myself after a low priced Toyota. Thats MUCH more likely then Cameron.

And the sheer amount of douchebags who have smugly INFORMED me that Cameron is a BOYS name boggles my mind. I then take great pleasure in directing their puny minds back to Cameron DIAZ who is VERY female!

Makes you just wanna smack 'em! Heeeers yer stupid tax! * ping *

Kaelyria
04-09-2009, 01:15 PM
When I used to dance by "Keiko" (sounds like Seiko, the watch makers) for some reason a lot of guys thought I was saying "Keigle" like the vaginal muscles. WHY would I name myself THAT?!?! Now we know what you're thinking about. *sheesh* Perverts.

Now I'm a short hour glass shaped white chick dancing by the name Kay. Why do they think I'd be calling myself "Tay"? I always assumed, now correct me if I'm wrong, that 'Tay' is a slang term for nice round asses of the Ghetto Booty, or "Boo- tay" variety. *blinks* Is my butt really that big?

~K

BoxOfPandora
04-09-2009, 01:40 PM
When I used to dance by "Keiko" (sounds like Seiko, the watch makers) for some reason a lot of guys thought I was saying "Keigle" like the vaginal muscles. WHY would I name myself THAT?!?! Now we know what you're thinking about. *sheesh* Perverts.

Now I'm a short hour glass shaped white chick dancing by the name Kay. Why do they think I'd be calling myself "Tay"? I always assumed, now correct me if I'm wrong, that 'Tay' is a slang term for nice round asses of the Ghetto Booty, or "Boo- tay" variety. *blinks* Is my butt really that big?

~K
If I were a dumb custy, I would at least think it was "Cake" or "Cake-O." I might call you Kegal as an endearing insult though if I worked with you ;)

Worse I get is Lola, Lolith, Lilly, or... my all time favorite... Louis... (stage name is Lilith)

Ruby Ruckus
04-09-2009, 09:01 PM
keiko was the name of the whale that starred in free willy. no kidding.

http://www.keiko.com/history.html

knp001
04-10-2009, 04:02 AM
oh I got a goldmine of idiocy last saturday night.

this dude was absolutely wasted and he and his friend bought 1/2 hour show with me. I felt bad for his friend who was sober and was embarrassed by his friend's comments (and it was his birthday!)

here are a few:

"I love my wife so, so much" (5 minutes later) *looks at me suggestively* "I can find any woman's gspot." Me: "can you find your wife's?"

"you have dimples in all the right places." wow thanks for commenting on my fat ass. ouch. if I hadn't had a buzz going, I would've cried.

PoleSiren
04-10-2009, 08:43 AM
I actually brought some of the bad name karma upon myself. When I first named myself, I wanted something symbolic and unique and I had this book of Goddess names with the meaning of each Goddess. I chose one I had never heard of before "Disani" because I liked the sound of it, I'd never heard of her before and she symbolized fertility but also was also a Goddess against cheating husbands (a little joke to myself).

Of course, when I chose the name, thinking I was all smart and deep, I didn't think of the water "Dasani". Never crossed my mind.

Soo..... I got very tired of all the water comments. Sometimes it worked in my favour. A guy would make some "tall drink of water comment" (I'm very tall) and it would send us in the right direction and sometimes I would end up in some strange conversation about the immoral corporate oddity of Coke owning water blah blah blah, can I get naked now? Most of the time I'd get a sideways look and something along the lines of "Like the WaTEr?!?".

In the three years I used that name, only one guy knew it was a goddess. Surprised the shit out of me. So, I changed my name to "Lara". No more problems there. Ahhhh

Kaelyria
04-11-2009, 12:40 PM
Last night I had a custie tell me that he and his friend worked at the Taco Bell about 4 miles away from my club. They said that if I came in to see them at their work, they'd buy me dinner. Oh goody, taco bell. *rollseyes*

~K

charlie61
04-11-2009, 12:41 PM
^ Haha! Fabulous! And also oddly tempting...

::craving Taco Bell:: :biggrin:

JayATee
04-11-2009, 12:55 PM
Last night I had a custie tell me that he and his friend worked at the Taco Bell about 4 miles away from my club. They said that if I came in to see them at their work, they'd buy me dinner. Oh goody, taco bell. *rollseyes*

~K


Well that would've convinced me! I woulda been right out that door RUNNING to see them..... ;)

Miss_McKenna
04-11-2009, 01:23 PM
I love when customers use the promise of cheap food to try to lure us out the club. I've lost count of the amount of times guys, especially groups have told me I should leave with them, it'll be so worth it, we'll have so much fun...... at Waffle House /:O

$4 meal / enough $ to pay my bills - its a tough choice!

BoxOfPandora
04-11-2009, 01:42 PM
Hehe, and I'm about to head out to work in 15 mins, with my bf and I stopping at Taco Hell on the way.

davka
04-11-2009, 04:18 PM
I love when customers use the promise of cheap food to try to lure us out the club. I've lost count of the amount of times guys, especially groups have told me I should leave with them, it'll be so worth it, we'll have so much fun...... at Waffle House /:O

$4 meal / enough $ to pay my bills - its a tough choice!

it's better than when they offer to take you away from that job and be your lover for free because they are so hot and you really need a good guy..

haha i had a young guy say "i can help you. i'll talk to you so you don't have to dance for these old creeps."

"the old creeps got money and you don't. bye"

CarlyMIA
04-11-2009, 05:54 PM
me: Actually, I was 8 years old when I came to the states from Europe...
custie: oh... so why did u decide to come to America?

Uhmm... what 8 year old makes his/her own decision to come to another country separated by an ocean?!?!?!?!

Otoki
04-11-2009, 06:25 PM
it's better than when they offer to take you away from that job and be your lover for free because they are so hot and you really need a good guy..

haha i had a young guy say "i can help you. i'll talk to you so you don't have to dance for these old creeps."

"the old creeps got money and you don't. bye"
Seriously. It really makes me mad at strippers who train custies to expect time for free.

wikidlittlegirl
04-14-2009, 01:37 PM
Woo Hoo!! I finally have one to add! So I hit it off with this guy, and we went off to do a dance. At the end of the dance I said well that was so much fun, I guess I should just stay naked for this one too! you want me to stay naked don't you? He said yes so we did one more. When he paid me he only paid me for one so I politly reminded him that we did two and he owed me another $20. He said "but I thought you were giving me the second one for free because we are friends" :O

JayATee
04-14-2009, 01:48 PM
*looks at me suggestively* "I can find any woman's gspot." Me: "can you find your wife's?"



:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

This is fabulous.

Crow2
04-14-2009, 09:22 PM
Me to random man at work : Hey sweetie, would you like a two dollar dance?
Him: No, But I know -you- would!

ooooookay?

Customer conversation -

Him: Hey, when are you on stage?
Me: Oh, I don't know really. It will be a little bit I'm sure
Him: The reason I am asking is because I really want to see your tits.

Well, no shit genius since we are in a TITTIE bar after all.. Christ.