View Full Version : Stupid Customer Comments
Ruby Ruckus
04-14-2009, 09:38 PM
me: would you like a lapdance?
customer: (scoffs at me) no. it's a waste of money for just a tease.
me: okay. say, what do you do for a living honey?
customer: i work at starbucks. you want to come and visit me sometime?
me: (scoffing at him) hell no! and waste all of that money on coffee just to see your cheap ass?
and then i walked away.
firemaiden04
04-14-2009, 09:42 PM
I have a Nine Inch Nails tramp stamp tattoo, and at least once a day I get, "Hey baby, I got a nine inch nail for ya! *hysterical laughing*" I can't even play along now. I'm just like, "Dude, do you know how many times a day I get that? It's not original. At all."
I also get, "Hey, is that a Nine Inch Nails tat?" I say yes. Then they're like, "So, do you like NIN?" Umm, no. I just got the tattoo cause it looked pretty. Fucking HELLO!
And recently, for some reason, I get a lot of guys asking, "Hey, nice NIN tattoo! Is it real?" What? How many strippers do you know that go get stick-on tattoos?
JayATee
04-14-2009, 09:50 PM
^ I get that a lot. I have a few tats and when I got the most recent one done on my back I must've been asked 100x's whether or not it was real. I just looked at them with this blank stare on my face. Like, umm, yeah I wear stick on tattoos for 14 yr olds. Suuuuure. ::)
CarlyMIA
04-15-2009, 09:58 AM
Him: Hey, when are you on stage?
Me: Oh, I don't know really. It will be a little bit I'm sure
Him: The reason I am asking is because I really want to see your tits.
.
Say, "well you don't have to wait for me to go on stage to do that.. let's go for a dance!" lol
Crow2
04-15-2009, 11:32 AM
Say, "well you don't have to wait for me to go on stage to do that.. let's go for a dance!" lol
I could already tell this guy was a wanker. No sale.
BoxOfPandora
04-16-2009, 08:51 AM
Ok, so this is a stupid customer action and a comeback rather than a stupid customer comment.
One guy, a regular, comes in with his friend who is younger and there for the first time. I'm still getting use to this club, where the majority of stage sets consist of getting off stage and giving mini LDs (my old club, we had to stay on stage.) So I have trouble with timing and giving enough time to pole, floor, aaaand "up close and personal"/ "GIVE ME MONEY" mode.
The reg said I must be new because I don't seem as experienced as the other girls (uhhh... thanks?). I ignore it.
Now his friend... I found out later a few of the girls had problems with him while giving lapdances on the floor, where he'd let them keep dancing, and wait for them to pull for an other tip to say he was out of singles. Well, I got on his lap, start off my usual way, and hold out my garter. He says he's out of money.
I get off him, go to the reg and say "Your friend here doesn't seem that experienced" in the same way he said it to me.
Otoki
04-17-2009, 03:24 AM
And recently, for some reason, I get a lot of guys asking, "Hey, nice NIN tattoo! Is it real?" What? How many strippers do you know that go get stick-on tattoos?
AAARG! I get this all the time, too. My tattoos are really detailed and shaded, so when people ask if they're real I just look at them thinking "Are you fucking serious? You think I draw this shading on every night? DUMB"
BoxOfPandora
04-17-2009, 08:23 AM
And recently, for some reason, I get a lot of guys asking, "Hey, nice NIN tattoo! Is it real?" What? How many strippers do you know that go get stick-on tattoos?
*raises hand halfway* At my local porn/sex toy/lingerie/stripperwear shop, they have temp tattoos and I was considering them. Know, they're not obscene, they just glow in uv light, so I was thinking of them. Now I can imagine it peeling off and guys asking the same thing, lol.
*sigh* my real UV tats were done by someone I met itc (I was desperate- no one here will do them even if I supply the ink), and he waited until I got all the way to his shop (more than a half hour away) to tell me he had no black light yet *facepalm*
Otoki
04-19-2009, 01:48 PM
*raises hand halfway* At my local porn/sex toy/lingerie/stripperwear shop, they have temp tattoos and I was considering them. Know, they're not obscene, they just glow in uv light, so I was thinking of them. Now I can imagine it peeling off and guys asking the same thing, lol.
*sigh* my real UV tats were done by someone I met itc (I was desperate- no one here will do them even if I supply the ink), and he waited until I got all the way to his shop (more than a half hour away) to tell me he had no black light yet *facepalm*
...So the answer is, you don't have stick-on tattoos, and thus you know "nobody" who uses them.
BoxOfPandora
04-19-2009, 06:56 PM
Ahhh, touche.
saphire123456
04-19-2009, 11:39 PM
me: Actually, I was 8 years old when I came to the states from Europe...
custie: oh... so why did u decide to come to America?
Uhmm... what 8 year old makes his/her own decision to come to another country separated by an ocean?!?!?!?!
ugh, i get that one too - men. (facepalm)
Crow2
04-22-2009, 07:23 PM
me: Actually, I was 8 years old when I came to the states from Europe...
custie: oh... so why did u decide to come to America?
Uhmm... what 8 year old makes his/her own decision to come to another country separated by an ocean?!?!?!?!
It's just that you are so hot and the poor slob was made nervous by your hotness.. Yeah, that's it!;D
BoxOfPandora
04-22-2009, 08:19 PM
me: Actually, I was 8 years old when I came to the states from Europe...
custie: oh... so why did u decide to come to America?
Uhmm... what 8 year old makes his/her own decision to come to another country separated by an ocean?!?!?!?!
You could've responded with something about how you were 8 and felt like you wasted most of your life and just needed a change of scenery. Something sarcastic about being old.
CarlyMIA
04-23-2009, 09:25 AM
You could've responded with something about how you were 8 and felt like you wasted most of your life and just needed a change of scenery. Something sarcastic about being old.
LOLOLOL I will so do that with a right guy!!! And thank you Crow!
CarlyMIA
04-23-2009, 03:12 PM
Did two dances with a guy...
Me: That would be $40
custie: Oh I think I have $30 right here, can I give you the rest next time I come here?
Me: (thinking WTFFFFF???!?!?!)... uhm.. no you will give it to me now
custie: OK, here you go... (gives me the rest) I was just checking if I can give it to you next time
Me: WHY???
custie: so I make an impression and next I come you will remember me!!!
Me: Why not make an impression by giving me ridiculous amounts of money instead? that would be making a GOOD impression!
custie: Oh noooo... only snobby guys do that to show off, I'm a nice guy!!!!
WHHHAAATTTT?!?!?!!
mediocrity
04-23-2009, 04:31 PM
Did two dances with a guy...
Me: That would be $40
custie: Oh I think I have $30 right here, can I give you the rest next time I come here?
Me: (thinking WTFFFFF???!?!?!)... uhm.. no you will give it to me now
custie: OK, here you go... (gives me the rest) I was just checking if I can give it to you next time
Me: WHY???
custie: so I make an impression and next I come you will remember me!!!
Me: Why not make an impression by giving me ridiculous amounts of money instead? that would be making a GOOD impression!
custie: Oh noooo... only snobby guys do that to show off, I'm a nice guy!!!!
WHHHAAATTTT?!?!?!!
hahahahaha!
Oh, the "nice guy". How I despise him, yet how he amuses me.
A nice gem from last night:
"If you come back to my hotel room, I'll buy you new boobs!"
MAYBE I DONT WANT THEM YOU FUCKFACE. Argh.
BoxOfPandora
04-23-2009, 04:47 PM
Hmmmm... Nice guy? Is that customer-speak for "cheap bastard?"
Crow2
04-24-2009, 12:24 PM
Hmmmm... Nice guy? Is that customer-speak for "cheap bastard?"
Oh. Mygod. Ebonics and now this. Haha.:)
I will definitely have to brush up on my Customer-speak. Hehehe..;D
tikismall
04-25-2009, 08:23 PM
Customer: "Someone should buy you a pair of tits"
My response: "someone should tell you to loose 50lbs"
He then asked me for dance and if i'd like a drink.
Fucker.
vonniestarrr
04-26-2009, 02:18 AM
Now I'm a short hour glass shaped white chick dancing by the name Kay. Why do they think I'd be calling myself "Tay"? I always assumed, now correct me if I'm wrong, that 'Tay' is a slang term for nice round asses of the Ghetto Booty, or "Boo- tay" variety. *blinks* Is my butt really that big?
~K
UMMM, no it's not. why would you think that? **confused** i have a friend named Shante that we call Tay for short. Tay is usually a nickname for people with some sort of Tae, or Tay in their full name...soooo yea, what you look like has nothing to do with someone thinking you said Tay instead of Kay. and i highly doubt anyone would think for two seconds to call you that because the size of your ass.
vonniestarrr
04-26-2009, 02:29 AM
one night i was walking from the bar to the dressing room and was stopped by this 25ish black guy and his friend. we all did the introduction thing, then one of them says "hey, how would you like to pay ME to dance for YOU? I bet you've never had a n***a from LA give you a lapdance, have you? I know what i'm doing, i'm a great dancer. just ask my friend..." then he turns to his friend and says "Dude, tell her i give good lapdances."
i just sat there for like 2 minutes looking back and forth from him to his friend....confused and disturbed. his friend kept saying how sorry he was for the other guys behavior....
another day at the dive
ViolaStrings
04-26-2009, 08:31 AM
UMMM, no it's not. why would you think that? **confused** i have a friend named Shante that we call Tay for short. Tay is usually a nickname for people with some sort of Tae, or Tay in their full name...soooo yea, what you look like has nothing to do with someone thinking you said Tay instead of Kay. and i highly doubt anyone would think for two seconds to call you that because the size of your ass.
This girl is completely delusional, so don't mind her.
vonniestarrr
04-26-2009, 08:42 AM
This girl is completely delusional, so don't mind her.
***GASP*** Not nice!! lol
BoxOfPandora
04-26-2009, 09:34 AM
one night i was walking from the bar to the dressing room and was stopped by this 25ish black guy and his friend. we all did the introduction thing, then one of them says "hey, how would you like to pay ME to dance for YOU? I bet you've never had a n***a from LA give you a lapdance, have you? I know what i'm doing, i'm a great dancer. just ask my friend..." then he turns to his friend and says "Dude, tell her i give good lapdances."
Reminds me of last night; we had a bachelor party and the guy who put it together bought him a dance from me, telling me to "rock his world." I drag the victim back there, dance for him. I try to take it a step further after and tell the older guy who put it together that if I take him in the CR i can REALLY rock his world. I name the price.
Him: "$100 for 15 minutes?! You gotta be crazy!"
Me: "What? Trying to say I'm not worth it? ;)"
Him: "Listen, I get paid for sex!"
Me: :O "Uhhh... that's good to know. That wasn't how I was gonna rock his world, just for the record..."
Edit: And I have had a customer tell me he can dance better. He was like "How about you dance for me, I tip you, I dance for me, you tip me."
Yeah, I like the first half of that. I told him "I'm the one on stage. Try [local gay bar where many of my ultra fabulous male friends work as shot boys/ cage dancers]."
firemaiden04
04-26-2009, 06:47 PM
Something that really bothers me...
When custies are asking all the generic questions, like, "How long have you worked here," or, "How did you get started doing this," etc., they'll inevitably bring up the whole, "So how does your boyfriend feel about you doing this?"
It's like they're looking for this response:
"Um, OH MY GOD, I'm so glad I can finally talk to someone about this. Like, we totally fight about it all the time, and he calls me a slut and throws it in my face whenever he's mad at me, and he really just hurts my feelings a lot *sniffle* and I wish I could be with someone who would treat me the way I deserve to be treated...like you."
And whenever I give them this response:
"He doesn't mind it." They're always disappointed, and try to convince me that I'm just in denial and yes, he does mind it. A lot.
I mean, why do you want to know anything about my boyfriend? Do you really need reminding that while I'm here with you, dancing and being sexy and everything for your money, it means nothing, and I'm going to go to my boyfriend's place after work and fuck him, and you're going to go home with blue balls and a much lighter wallet?
Initially, when I started stripping, I would tell people I was single. But for some weird reason, EVERY GUY under the age of 45 would interpret that as sincere interest, and they would stop giving me any money, and spend the rest of the night following me around and trying to pick me up. So, I would start telling the truth if they asked, and say, "Yes, I've got a boyfriend."
But then, you hear customers bitching all the time about how they don't want to come to the club and hear girls bitching about their boyfriends. Then why ask about the boyfriend, then try to convince us he's abusive? I just don't get it.
ViolaStrings
04-26-2009, 07:18 PM
^ I never thought of that. I have always said I'm single because I'm so busy. That's good stuff.
Otoki
04-28-2009, 06:56 PM
UMMM, no it's not. why would you think that? **confused** i have a friend named Shante that we call Tay for short. Tay is usually a nickname for people with some sort of Tae, or Tay in their full name...soooo yea, what you look like has nothing to do with someone thinking you said Tay instead of Kay. and i highly doubt anyone would think for two seconds to call you that because the size of your ass.
Yeah, her interpretation definitely got a /:O from me.
Something that really bothers me...
When custies are asking all the generic questions, like, "How long have you worked here," or, "How did you get started doing this," etc., they'll inevitably bring up the whole, "So how does your boyfriend feel about you doing this?"
It's like they're looking for this response:
"Um, OH MY GOD, I'm so glad I can finally talk to someone about this. Like, we totally fight about it all the time, and he calls me a slut and throws it in my face whenever he's mad at me, and he really just hurts my feelings a lot *sniffle* and I wish I could be with someone who would treat me the way I deserve to be treated...like you."
And whenever I give them this response:
"He doesn't mind it." They're always disappointed, and try to convince me that I'm just in denial and yes, he does mind it. A lot.
I mean, why do you want to know anything about my boyfriend? Do you really need reminding that while I'm here with you, dancing and being sexy and everything for your money, it means nothing, and I'm going to go to my boyfriend's place after work and fuck him, and you're going to go home with blue balls and a much lighter wallet?
Initially, when I started stripping, I would tell people I was single. But for some weird reason, EVERY GUY under the age of 45 would interpret that as sincere interest, and they would stop giving me any money, and spend the rest of the night following me around and trying to pick me up. So, I would start telling the truth if they asked, and say, "Yes, I've got a boyfriend."
But then, you hear customers bitching all the time about how they don't want to come to the club and hear girls bitching about their boyfriends. Then why ask about the boyfriend, then try to convince us he's abusive? I just don't get it.
TELL me about it! I get that so fucking often. I just hate lying about having a bf because then they think it means I want to date them or something, but then so many people ask about how my boyfriend or parents feel about me doing this. Jesus.
BoxOfPandora
04-29-2009, 09:21 AM
Something that really bothers me...
When custies are asking all the generic questions, like, "How long have you worked here," or, "How did you get started doing this," etc., they'll inevitably bring up the whole, "So how does your boyfriend feel about you doing this?"
It's like they're looking for this response:
"Um, OH MY GOD, I'm so glad I can finally talk to someone about this. Like, we totally fight about it all the time, and he calls me a slut and throws it in my face whenever he's mad at me, and he really just hurts my feelings a lot *sniffle* and I wish I could be with someone who would treat me the way I deserve to be treated...like you."
And whenever I give them this response:
"He doesn't mind it." They're always disappointed, and try to convince me that I'm just in denial and yes, he does mind it. A lot.
I mean, why do you want to know anything about my boyfriend? Do you really need reminding that while I'm here with you, dancing and being sexy and everything for your money, it means nothing, and I'm going to go to my boyfriend's place after work and fuck him, and you're going to go home with blue balls and a much lighter wallet?
Initially, when I started stripping, I would tell people I was single. But for some weird reason, EVERY GUY under the age of 45 would interpret that as sincere interest, and they would stop giving me any money, and spend the rest of the night following me around and trying to pick me up. So, I would start telling the truth if they asked, and say, "Yes, I've got a boyfriend."
But then, you hear customers bitching all the time about how they don't want to come to the club and hear girls bitching about their boyfriends. Then why ask about the boyfriend, then try to convince us he's abusive? I just don't get it.
I usually end up bringing it around to a manage-a-trois comment. I had an old guy ask me that while I was on stage, and I answered "He likes it. Actually finds it really exciting. Wanna see what else he finds exciting?" Hold my garter out, then flash my clit hood piercing for a moment.
Custy: "He must really like that."
Me: "He and any girl we let join us."
Custy: "That is so hot! *tips again*" <-- yes, he is an old guy and actually said that.
Ended up buying a CR from me :D
amalya
04-30-2009, 12:20 AM
"You better give me a good dance."
"Sorry, I don't want a dance...I believe in God...I'm just here to support the bachelor."
"How can you walk in those shoes?"
"So, what's your real job?"
"You have a pug? Ugh! I hate those dogs! I can't get a dance from someone that owns a pug."
CarlyMIA
04-30-2009, 12:44 AM
custie: so you wanna give me your number?
me: sorry, I dont give out my number to ppl
custie: ok good, cuz I probably wouldn't call you anyway.. i have a GF.
YEAAAHHH OKKKAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY
gypsydancer
04-30-2009, 09:50 AM
once i was sitting with customers who were commenting on the other dancers bodies on stage. one girl went up and they were like, pretty girl, but weird hair and scary music. (all true) she turned around and bent over , and a guy went "that ass has been tampered with!" I said damn thats mean , im glad i couldn't hear what y'all were saying when i was onstage. they said well, we'll tell you what we said when you were onstage. i said okay but im not sure i want to know. one guy goes "well i bet you could pull a condom off like *makes hand motions*" i said errgh okay?
had another customer tell me " you have the smallest pussy i have ever seen, i swear form open to close its this big.< >!" i responded with yeah, im going to adopt.
wikidlittlegirl
04-30-2009, 10:06 AM
^^ Lol I'm going to adopt!!!;D
Now that its warmer out I ride my motorcycle to work. (better gas mileage and it makes me feel like a bad ass so I always do better at work) So I was talking to a custie, who also has a bike, about how much I love to ride so the hour drive is nothing cause I would have been on the bike at least that long today anyway. He looks at me with utter confusion on his face and says, "yeah but what does your old man do while your at work? Is he in here now or does he just ride back and get you at the end of the night?":O
Because, you know, the thought that I would actually drive one of those things is just crazy!!!!
BoxOfPandora
04-30-2009, 12:39 PM
^ Say he's at band practice and you drop him off before work and pick him up after. Or insert some min wage job stereotypical of HS drop outs.
And that's so badass! You beat me. *bf been driving me on his bike.* (But I wanna learn :D)
ScarletPhoenix
04-30-2009, 01:40 PM
I met the most charming *ahem, hack, cough* father and son team last night.
So I go up to Asshole Sr., who's nicely sauced and looks about ready for some action. I notice he's staring at my boobs. I bounce 'em around and say "I see you found something you like!"
He says "I need a 'cupa.'"
"A cupa? A cupa what?"
"A cupa 'dem titties on my face!"
"Oh! Tee hee! Well, dude, as you can see, my cup runnith over!"
His leer turns into a scowl. "How DARE YOU quote the bible in this sorta hellhole," he growls, and PUSHES me away from him by the shoulders. I almost fell over a chair behind me, but caught myself in time, and hightailed it away from there.
Later, Asshole Jr. approaches me on stage. He tips me two dollars, and I give him a little show. He seems to enjoy this very much.
"Hold on," he says. "I have some more tips for you."
I strike a sexy pose and wait with a smile on my face.
The brute undoes his fly and winks at me. He reaches into his crotch. He pulls out a twisted-up five dollar bill and tries to give it to me.
"Ugh, that was in your crotch!?"
"You bet!"
"That, sir, is downright disgusting. You have no manners. Get away from my stage."
He threw a little tantrum right then and there. "Are you serious? You fucking bitch! You stuck up fucking whore!!" Yadda yadda . . .
The pair left after that.
ViolaStrings
04-30-2009, 01:44 PM
^ uh, no offense, by why the hell wouldn't you have someone who SHOVED you thrown out? You just let him get away with it?
firemaiden04
04-30-2009, 03:41 PM
^ uh, no offense, by why the hell wouldn't you have someone who SHOVED you thrown out? You just let him get away with it?
Yeah, no kidding. The instant the father had shoved me, you better believe I would have hightailed it to the bouncer and gotten the douche kicked the fuck out.
ScarletPhoenix
04-30-2009, 03:43 PM
^ uh, no offense, by why the hell wouldn't you have someone who SHOVED you thrown out? You just let him get away with it?
I didn't "let" him get away with it. I told the bouncer, and he laughed in my face. At my club, unless there's a knock-down, drag-out brawl, or long duration (as in, not a quick grab or poke) sexual assault, the bouncers and managers absolutely do not give a shit. I have the feeling that the male staff is there mostly to make sure that we dancers are on our stages when we're supposed to be, and that we all pay tipout.
In the entire time I've worked there, I've only seen a handful of dudes thrown out. And that was because they were starting fistfights with each other.
Yup. It's like that. Welcome to Texas.
*Iris*
04-30-2009, 07:00 PM
That is really unfortunate but it's not like that everywhere in Texas. I would have packed my shit and left because I would feel so embarrassed and pissed off.
CKXXX
04-30-2009, 08:49 PM
today on cam:
idiot:"whats up"
me:"not much...what are you in the mood for today?"
idiot:"is your grandma with you??"
me:"wtf?? my grandma?? what??"
idiot:"I just want to know something about you"
What in the hell?????
Crow2
04-30-2009, 08:59 PM
today on cam:
idiot:"whats up"
me:"not much...what are you in the mood for today?"
idiot:"is your grandma with you??"
me:"wtf?? my grandma?? what??"
idiot:"I just want to know something about you"
What in the hell?????
Dude, that's creepy..
Innocense
05-01-2009, 07:32 AM
I had this thai customer who used to come in once a week and spend decent money on me but every night he was trying to convince me to go to a hotel with me... I always played along, flirting but one night....
him: So are you going to a hotel with me tonight?
Me: Yes sweetie...I will!!!
him: you will?
Me: yes, I will
him: for real??? don't give me bullshit...
Me: I will........for $500,000
him: Oh fuck you! with 500,000 in my country I buy big house and 3 wifes!
I LAUGHED SO FRICKING HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!
---------------------
Me: Hey sweetie, want a lapdance?
him: why don't I give YOU a lapdance???/
Me: that sounds great babe! but why don't we leave that for when I'M the looser coming to YOUR club????
ViolaStrings
05-01-2009, 09:59 AM
^ it's funny because it's true
Crow2
05-01-2009, 12:30 PM
One thing that I can not stand - guys using their wedding band like a shield. This one fella actually shoved his hand up in my face and said " I'm married"
I retorted with .. " That's wonderful, you must not be that married because your wife isn't here with you." After, he promptly left..
ScarletPhoenix
05-01-2009, 01:36 PM
That is really unfortunate but it's not like that everywhere in Texas. I would have packed my shit and left because I would feel so embarrassed and pissed off.
I don't know where you're working, but I have yet to find a club that wouldn't take the customer's side every time, unless the staff actually witnessed something major going down. Then, the custie might get a warning, but it takes a lot for them to get thrown out.
I think it's a combination of the club I work at being kind of a dive (despite being huge inside) and girls in the past trying to abuse their power by having guys thrown out for bullshit reasons (example: not buying a dance from them).
firemaiden04
05-02-2009, 01:47 PM
There's a bartender at my club I was talking to last night. She has that hairstyle where it's black underneath and blonde on top. Anyways, she told me that the other day, she had a customer leaning over the bar, gesturing to her. She went over and was like, "What's up?"
He says, "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure!"
"Does your hair grow like that?"
LMAO
DEE_K
05-02-2009, 03:10 PM
Last night
Guy sitting in perverts row that kept grinning at me while I was on stage and then gestured me over while I was on the floor: "I can't get a dance, my wife (hand with ring shoved in my face) wouldn't appreciate me getting that close to a dancer."
Me: "Well then stop trying to reach behind me to grab a feel!"
It was one of those Many-Jerks-In-A-Row nights.
gypsy_girlchild
05-02-2009, 03:23 PM
me: I get very nice when I am inebriated *giggle*
him: there you go with those fancy big words, I'm just a redneck!
I honestly still like the guy, but wow..
gypsy_girlchild
05-02-2009, 03:27 PM
I don't know where you're working, but I have yet to find a club that wouldn't take the customer's side every time, unless the staff actually witnessed something major going down. Then, the custie might get a warning, but it takes a lot for them to get thrown out.
I think it's a combination of the club I work at being kind of a dive (despite being huge inside) and girls in the past trying to abuse their power by having guys thrown out for bullshit reasons (example: not buying a dance from them).
Gotta agree with that. I think I have mentioned in the past about guys throwing onion rings at a dancer and when I complained the bouncer told me the guys said they weren't theirs.. Uck, like you can't throw someone else's onion rings on stage? that poor girl was so upset. I'm surprised she didn't deck them, but I think she was too surprised.. Maybe she should have decked the bouncer.
Also, we have new policy where the bouncer not only help us get fined (even heard a bouncer begging a girl not to make him fine her again), but they also just give only "warnings" to custies.. Management even told us that.
BUT that is why we wear our 7inchers so proudly.
black_widow
05-03-2009, 04:05 AM
There have been so many...at this point, I just tune them out, but here are some that stand out in my mind:
Customer: "You have a lot of tattoos."
Me: "Yeah I do"
Customer: "So are they REAL?"
Me: "No, I paint all 20+ of them on everyday. With this special type of waterproof ink."
Customer: "Wow that must take a lot of work!"
Me: "Yeah, you have NO IDEA--I get up everyday at 8am to paint them on and by 7pm I'm almost ready and by 8pm I'm here. I get off work at 4am, wash them off, then sleep for four hours, wake up and repeat."
Customer: "That's crazy! Why not get real ones?"
Me: "Oh because then guys would think I just painted them on."
Customer: SILENCE
I mean, seriously, I have A LOT of very detailed, intracite tattoos in places like my back and my neck. YOU REALLY BELIEVE THOSE ARE FAKE? That I can paint incredibly detailed pieces on parts of my back I can't EVEN REACH? Or on my neck? C'mon....
Again, a tattoo one...
Me: "Hi, How are you doing?"
Customer: "Fine" *points to my chest* "What does that say?"
Me: "Black Widow"
Customer: "Oh that's a cool thing to get tattooed on your cranium."
Me: "Yeah....."
Since when is my chest my cranium? I think he was just trying to sound "smart". He had quite a few tattoos himself and I guess one of them had some sort of retard ink in it that went right to his brain.
This one is my favorite...
I'm dancing onstage and this customer comes up and sits RIGHT next to the stage and starts heckling me:
Customer: "I know you want to f**K me."
Me: "EXCUSE ME?"
Customer: "I can see the way you're dancing and what you're wearing. I know you want to f**k me."
Me: "So what I'm wearing meas I want to have sex with you?"
Customer: "Of course! Why else would you be wearing that? Why else would you be dancing like that in front of me?" (He is completely DEAD serious)
Me: "Well, it's my JOB to wear sexy clothing and to dance like this in front of men. It's a JOB and therefore I do it for MONEY and for the entertainment of men. It's not FOR YOU, I don't do this soley for YOUR entertainment, although I'm happy you are, apparently, enjoying it. But don't take it to mean I WANT you because I don't. I just want your money." *Nice smile*
Customer: "WHAT????" *standing up indignantly* "YOU DO THIS FOR OTHER PEOPLE TOO??? YOU'RE A F**CKING WHORE!!! YOU MUST WANT TO F**K EVERYONE THEN!!! AND YOU GET PAID FOR THIS??? DIRTY WHORE!!!"
**Bouncers then kick the guy out**
Evidently he didn't SEE the other people sitting in the room or the fact that others had come up to the stage to TIP me MONEY. The guy was 110% DEAD serious about this too. I think he was a little slow, honestly, and there was DEFINATELY something not right about him.
ViolaStrings
05-03-2009, 06:46 AM
^ yea, that guy was batshit crazy.