View Full Version : Stupid Customer Comments
BoxOfPandora
05-03-2009, 07:32 AM
Me: "Hi, How are you doing?"
Customer: "Fine" *points to my chest* "What does that say?"
Me: "Black Widow"
Customer: "Oh that's a cool thing to get tattooed on your cranium."
Me: "Yeah....."
Since when is my chest my cranium? I think he was just trying to sound "smart". He had quite a few tattoos himself and I guess one of them had some sort of retard ink in it that went right to his brain.
It must've gone straight to his clavicle.
And "you wanna fuck me" guy... what a fucking retard. I hope he never gets a girl; he'd probably abuse her in every way. "WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN 'NOT TONIGHT?!' YOU DIRTY FUCKING BITCH! YOU TOOK A SHOWER AND GOT NAKED BECAUSE YOU WANNA FUCK ME!" *proceeds to rape woman with so little self esteem that she'd get with him*
Crow2
05-05-2009, 10:25 AM
Not really a stupid comment but still it's hilarious :
There is an older man that comes into our club, we ALL know him and about him. He uses a cane to get around and has trouble walking - so he's really slow. He likes the blonds with big breasts.
I use to do dances for him before he got to be uncontrollable and his breath smells like he's been eating the ass end out of some fresh road kill. So, I wont dance for him. Neither will my best friend "Nikki"
He Loooooves her, and will tell every dancer in the place to go and get her because he is not leaving until he gets a dance with her. So.. He's passing by us to go to the Men's room and he comes out.. and I start.
" Oooh look, there's your friend"
Nikki looks and rolls her eyes.. at which I laugh.
Look, here he comes.. annnnnd he's getting closer.
( I thought he was going to ask her to do a dance for him )
"Look here he comes!"
( She's cringing at this point )
"He's getting closer and cloooooser.."
"Oh crap, he made a turn."
The things we do to amuse ourselves when it's slow at work..
mediocrity
05-05-2009, 10:45 AM
Friday afternoon I sat next to this guy and was all "hey, looks like you could use a pretty blond, mind if i keep you company."
and he goes, "yeah right"
so I said "you dont think I want to keep you company? Thats pretty cynical."
he goes "ok. well. what can you do for me?"
Iwas like "I can show you my boobs for $20."
he says "Ok. what else?"
So I reply "I can give you a super hot lap dance."
He goes "....and...?"
I raised my eyebrows back at him and was like "....and...?"
He says to me "....you know."
So I said "sweetheart, no I really don't! can you be more specific? I dont know what youre asking me."
He gives me a Look and is like "Yes you do. what else can you do for me?"
and I smiled and gave him the dumb blonde voice and was like "No baby. I am so confused. What do you mean?"
He stood up and was like "AAAAGGGGGGHHH!" and knocked the lamp off the table and stormed out.
I have never laughed so hard at work in my life.;D
Crow2
05-05-2009, 01:15 PM
Posting that about Nikki and I made me think of this..
It was a two for one - and I was doing a LD across her from her. I hear this "crack!" and look - she had slapped the guy. HARD. Then I heard..
" OW! Your hand is like a bug zapper" to which she replied..
" Yeah and your a BUG!"
chanzep
05-05-2009, 01:40 PM
Friday afternoon I sat next to this guy and was all "hey, looks like you could use a pretty blond, mind if i keep you company."
and he goes, "yeah right"
so I said "you dont think I want to keep you company? Thats pretty cynical."
he goes "ok. well. what can you do for me?"
Iwas like "I can show you my boobs for $20."
he says "Ok. what else?"
So I reply "I can give you a super hot lap dance."
He goes "....and...?"
I raised my eyebrows back at him and was like "....and...?"
He says to me "....you know."
So I said "sweetheart, no I really don't! can you be more specific? I dont know what youre asking me."
He gives me a Look and is like "Yes you do. what else can you do for me?"
and I smiled and gave him the dumb blonde voice and was like "No baby. I am so confused. What do you mean?"
He stood up and was like "AAAAGGGGGGHHH!" and knocked the lamp off the table and stormed out.
I have never laughed so hard at work in my life.;D
LOL that made me laugh
hazel_eyes
05-05-2009, 01:53 PM
This man, about 67, comes in with his wife who's about the same age. I've been talking to them for a bit before my stage set, and he's reall drunk. When I go up, he's leaning over the stage trying to get the best look at my pussy that he can. When I come off stage and thank them for the tip he proceeds to tell me "You're pussy looks just like my wife's. A little rosebud at the top and then fajitas down the sides."
WTF?! I know he didn't mean it in a mean way, but never tell me that my pussy looks like an old woman's and please don't ever ever compare my lady box to Mexican food. puke. I was so taken by suprise that I just stood there trying to process what he had just said to me.
chris91
05-05-2009, 02:17 PM
Friday afternoon I sat next to this guy and was all "hey, looks like you could use a pretty blond, mind if i keep you company."
and he goes, "yeah right"
so I said "you dont think I want to keep you company? Thats pretty cynical."
he goes "ok. well. what can you do for me?"
Iwas like "I can show you my boobs for $20."
he says "Ok. what else?"
So I reply "I can give you a super hot lap dance."
He goes "....and...?"
I raised my eyebrows back at him and was like "....and...?"
He says to me "....you know."
So I said "sweetheart, no I really don't! can you be more specific? I dont know what youre asking me."
He gives me a Look and is like "Yes you do. what else can you do for me?"
and I smiled and gave him the dumb blonde voice and was like "No baby. I am so confused. What do you mean?"
He stood up and was like "AAAAGGGGGGHHH!" and knocked the lamp off the table and stormed out.
I have never laughed so hard at work in my life.;D
I have this conversation a lot and it always ends with me saying, "Honey, if you can't even say it out loud, then I'm certainly not going to do it." It shuts them up every single time.
ViolaStrings
05-05-2009, 02:36 PM
This man, about 67, comes in with his wife who's about the same age. I've been talking to them for a bit before my stage set, and he's reall drunk. When I go up, he's leaning over the stage trying to get the best look at my pussy that he can. When I come off stage and thank them for the tip he proceeds to tell me "You're pussy looks just like my wife's. A little rosebud at the top and then fajitas down the sides."
WTF?! I know he didn't mean it in a mean way, but never tell me that my pussy looks like an old woman's and please don't ever ever compare my lady box to Mexican food. puke. I was so taken by suprise that I just stood there trying to process what he had just said to me.
I'm going to vomit.
Otoki
05-05-2009, 02:47 PM
Friday afternoon I sat next to this guy and was all "hey, looks like you could use a pretty blond, mind if i keep you company."
and he goes, "yeah right"
so I said "you dont think I want to keep you company? Thats pretty cynical."
he goes "ok. well. what can you do for me?"
Iwas like "I can show you my boobs for $20."
he says "Ok. what else?"
So I reply "I can give you a super hot lap dance."
He goes "....and...?"
I raised my eyebrows back at him and was like "....and...?"
He says to me "....you know."
So I said "sweetheart, no I really don't! can you be more specific? I dont know what youre asking me."
He gives me a Look and is like "Yes you do. what else can you do for me?"
and I smiled and gave him the dumb blonde voice and was like "No baby. I am so confused. What do you mean?"
He stood up and was like "AAAAGGGGGGHHH!" and knocked the lamp off the table and stormed out.
I have never laughed so hard at work in my life.;D
Did he also turn green? Rip through his shirt?
I have this conversation a lot and it always ends with me saying, "Honey, if you can't even say it out loud, then I'm certainly not going to do it." It shuts them up every single time.
Nice.
CarlyMIA
05-05-2009, 05:50 PM
This man, about 67, comes in with his wife who's about the same age. I've been talking to them for a bit before my stage set, and he's reall drunk. When I go up, he's leaning over the stage trying to get the best look at my pussy that he can. When I come off stage and thank them for the tip he proceeds to tell me "You're pussy looks just like my wife's. A little rosebud at the top and then fajitas down the sides."
WTF?! I know he didn't mean it in a mean way, but never tell me that my pussy looks like an old woman's and please don't ever ever compare my lady box to Mexican food. puke. I was so taken by suprise that I just stood there trying to process what he had just said to me.
Even though he didnt want to be mean, I would still snap back with something like "is that supposed to be some sick compliment?? thats disgusting!" Dirty old man... hate those!
mediocrity
05-06-2009, 12:34 AM
This man, about 67, comes in with his wife who's about the same age. I've been talking to them for a bit before my stage set, and he's reall drunk. When I go up, he's leaning over the stage trying to get the best look at my pussy that he can. When I come off stage and thank them for the tip he proceeds to tell me "You're pussy looks just like my wife's. A little rosebud at the top and then fajitas down the sides."
WTF?! I know he didn't mean it in a mean way, but never tell me that my pussy looks like an old woman's and please don't ever ever compare my lady box to Mexican food. puke. I was so taken by suprise that I just stood there trying to process what he had just said to me.
That is pretty fucking disgusting. I hate it when old men make gross comments like that.
Did he also turn green? Rip through his shirt?
HAHAHA! With the noise he made, it wouldn't have surprised me one bit.
Athenathefabulous
05-06-2009, 07:21 AM
I got one last night at work. It was slow in the beginning of the night so i started talking to some jackass wiht a missing tooth, who had apparently been there for 5 hrs already during dayshift. So i asked if he had a dance and would like one, and he was like how does it work. I told him i take him over there and get hot and naked for him when he pays me 20. To which he responds wiht dumbass comment #1: "nah, me in here is like being in spain. I am all out of place and dont know how that would work." to which i respond "oh, youve never had a lapdance." him: "no" me "ok! i want to pop your lapdance cherry." him "ok."
after the dance, i hold out my garter. He ignores this so i tell him he owes me money. begin dumbass comment #2,3 "What? i thought it was free." me: "no i said 20$." him: "but you wanted to pop my cherry, i said no the first time." me: "but you said yes the second time." him"ok, i got you dont you worry." and returns to his table with his buddy.
I follow him there and after some arguement finally his buddy gives him 20 to pay me. He hands it to me and very angrily gives me dumbass comment #4, which is one of hte dumbest comments i have heard in a SC btw, and says as if he was putting a curse on me "here you go. I just want you to know that I really hope that this 20$ turns you into Medusa."
:O
hazel_eyes
05-06-2009, 10:32 AM
I got one last night at work. It was slow in the beginning of the night so i started talking to some jackass wiht a missing tooth, who had apparently been there for 5 hrs already during dayshift. So i asked if he had a dance and would like one, and he was like how does it work. I told him i take him over there and get hot and naked for him when he pays me 20. To which he responds wiht dumbass comment #1: "nah, me in here is like being in spain. I am all out of place and dont know how that would work." to which i respond "oh, youve never had a lapdance." him: "no" me "ok! i want to pop your lapdance cherry." him "ok."
after the dance, i hold out my garter. He ignores this so i tell him he owes me money. begin dumbass comment #2,3 "What? i thought it was free." me: "no i said 20$." him: "but you wanted to pop my cherry, i said no the first time." me: "but you said yes the second time." him"ok, i got you dont you worry." and returns to his table with his buddy.
I follow him there and after some arguement finally his buddy gives him 20 to pay me. He hands it to me and very angrily gives me dumbass comment #4, which is one of hte dumbest comments i have heard in a SC btw, and says as if he was putting a curse on me "here you go. I just want you to know that I really hope that this 20$ turns you into Medusa."
:O
wtf? dumbass
ViolaStrings
05-06-2009, 11:21 AM
Medusa?! That's fucking priceless!
Gia2608
05-06-2009, 12:32 PM
I was waitressing not dancing but Guy grabs my arm and says: "You're so hot I'd rape you". The bouncers opened the door with his skull like a battering ram.
Then I worked at a club where a guy says to me (after several rounds of drinks) "I've always wanted to be a woman". I assume he means something like "how do you guys do it?" Nope. He reaaalllly meant he wantedto be a woman. So what does gia do? She amrches her happy ass back to the dressing room and gets her make-up bag and pulls drunky into the champagne room, charges him $300, plucks his eyebrows and applies full on drag amke-up to him!
BoxOfPandora
05-06-2009, 02:40 PM
^HAHAHAHA!!! NICE!! :D I love doing make up for men.
gypsydancer
05-07-2009, 02:56 PM
me:*dancing on satellite table*
guy at table next to said table: *laughing mockingly*
me: *in my fake,but convincing, nice voice* whats so funny? i could use a laugh..
guy: "if you had an ass it sure would be shaking, A for effort!" throws money.
me: *stops dancing* i only weigh 110, this is big for that.
guys actually sitting around that table. . . dont stop! your ass is perfect.
im 5'2 with 34-26-36 measurements. most of the compliments i get are about my butt or smile.
CarlyMIA
05-07-2009, 03:03 PM
me:*dancing on satellite table*
guy at table next to said table: *laughing mockingly*
me: *in my fake,but convincing, nice voice* whats so funny? i could use a laugh..
guy: "if you had an ass it sure would be shaking, A for effort!" throws money.
me: *stops dancing* i only weigh 110, this is big for that.
guys actually sitting around that table. . . dont stop! your ass is perfect.
im 5'2 with 34-26-36 measurements. most of the compliments i get are about my butt or smile.
Idiot... "if you had a good taste, you would know I have a BEAUTIFUL ass!"
gypsydancer
05-07-2009, 03:08 PM
Idiot... "if you had a good taste, you would know I have a BEAUTIFUL ass!"
i do have a beautiful ass. lol. i was just like DOUuuCHE!
gypsydancer
05-07-2009, 03:11 PM
earlier in that night, that same guy had grabbed a guy i was taking to the lapdance booth, and told him "dude , you need to fucking forget about her, and get dances from these girls" pointing to these two gilrs sitting with him. one that maybe weighed 85 to 90 at 5'6" ,. and one not so affectionately nicknamed crater ass by a few other dancers, that were both laughing during this conversation.
Symmy
05-07-2009, 05:00 PM
Me:This'll be song 2
Guy:Well,I don't have that much money on me, but, I have a joint
Me:Sorry hun I don't dance for pot
Guy:But, it's a 20$ joint
Me:I'm sure it is
Guy:No really
Me:No really I don't dance for pot:O
Ha!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!ROFLOL!:laughing:
davka
05-07-2009, 06:30 PM
earlier in that night, that same guy had grabbed a guy i was taking to the lapdance booth, and told him "dude , you need to fucking forget about her, and get dances from these girls" pointing to these two gilrs sitting with him. one that maybe weighed 85 to 90 at 5'6" ,. and one not so affectionately nicknamed crater ass by a few other dancers, that were both laughing during this conversation.
i've had that happen so many times where I am closing a sale and walking into the lapdance room and there is always some douchebag friend with a group of guys who needs to warn the guy going for a dance that he needs to be smart and "she is just doing this for money!" like no shit. and your friends are just here for paid-for fun, not love or whatever it is you are here for, fool, so back up.
gypsydancer
05-07-2009, 06:34 PM
edit : the girls sitting with him were dancers
Otoki
05-08-2009, 10:08 AM
I was waitressing not dancing but Guy grabs my arm and says: "You're so hot I'd rape you". The bouncers opened the door with his skull like a battering ram.
DAMN. I use my special line for those assholes who are really insistent about getting me to offer services that aren't on the menu:
"Aw, are you a rapist in training? That's so cute. No means no." and walk away. I hate people who feel that their needs trump other's comfort.
Jianna
05-09-2009, 10:04 AM
I had some young custy (well, he has to be atleast 21 to be in the club but he couldnt have been more than 23 at the most) ask me how I dealt with being "stimulated" all night in private dances...because yeah, I get off on grinding on your lap. Mmmhmmm. ::)
CarlyMIA
05-09-2009, 10:25 AM
me: i'm looking for somebody to dance for... can you be my somebody? *smile*
custie: Me and my buddy here are indian, and indian men, are known to be extremely good looking as you can tell...
me: ok I can definitely tell (LIEEEEE) but what does this have to do with my offer?
custie: when you're this good looking its easy to get things for free
me: did you know you're in a strip club??????!?!?
BoxOfPandora
05-10-2009, 02:21 PM
This guy is a drunken string of student comments.
Last night, I ended up telling him I'm trying to get my motorcycle license and also get an apprenticeship in piercing, so he responds with "A girl like you has to have a badass boyfriend!" He ended up asking me a lot of personal questions, like where I live, where I got y piercings/tats from, if I go to school, where I go to school (even started listing all the colleges within an hour), and where I grew up, even asked for my number. I answered them (except for my phone #) all with fake answers of course but demanded a tip for every question.
Now, this is towards the end of the night, and my bf picks me up, and usually helps close up the club/ walk girls to their car, so he hangs out.
After I get dressed, and cash in singles at the bar, he comes up to me. Tells me he wants to talk to me some more. So I tell him the CR price and say he can ask me all the questions he wants in there and I'll tell him about myself. SooooooOOOOoooo... he tries getting me to give him his time for free, "because he's hot."
Dumb comment-
Him: If I were a stripper and a hot girl wanted to hang out with me, I'd do it for free.
Me: You wouldn't make any money that way.
So I explain here, it's business and my time isn't free. I was also supposed to have left an hour earlier, so I don't care about keeping up the fantasy anymore.
Next dumb comment (keep in mind he guessed I have a bf)-
Him: This is a 'I'm a customer thing' isn't it?
Me: Yeah, pretty much.
Him: So because I'm a customer and you're working, so you're going to ignore that this could be the chance for you to meet the perfect guy?
Me: I already have a badass boyfriend.
Him: You don't have a boyfriend.
NEXT stupidity-
Me: Yah, I do, and I'm not looking to meet anyone else, and I don't meet ANYONE outside of the club.
Him: No, I don't believe you have a boyfriend. There's no way he could let you do this without getting jealous.
Now, my boyfriend, a scary biker, is behind us.
BF: I know her boyfriend and don't do jealousy. And he doesn't care what she does to MAKE A LIVING.
[btw, he got on my case for mentioning I'm in a relationship until I told him what drunky said before.]
We're about to close so only LDs and CRs (we only do 15 min at a time), and so he finally buys one.
Next-
I tell him I do chainmaille. "You send those annoying emails? Do you get paid to do that?" I explain to him I mean I make chainmaille ARMOR. Looks at me dumbfounded. I say "you know, medieval armor, made up of metal rings linked together." He still looks confused. I give up.
After I get dressed he's still out there, talking to the dj. He turns to me and says "I'm tryin to get his job." BTW, the DJs is the manager so that's not a job we're just giving away, particularly to a drunken customers who can't understand that what we do is a business.
Me: You can take my job.
Him: I'd probably make more money than you.
Me: I bet you can. But first you gotta be able to dance in these *I break out one of my 8" stilettos.*
Him: Uhh... yeah. I can do that.
An other dancer comes into our convo after just hearing that one part.
Her: That's a great idea. Then we could be customers! 'What's your real name?' Or let you dance for me then tell you 'Oh I don't have any more money. I thought you were dancing for me because you like me.' 'I know you get horny doing this.' (<--- oh yeah, he also said I must get horny from this.)
We go on like this, bringing up all the classic customer questions/remarks, including stuff he said.
Finally.
Me: "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm horny, and wanna go fuck my man." I grab bf's hand and walk out.
Ok, not quite over yet.
We walk the other girl to her car. As we come back, he's getting into his sports car. The kind that looks like he's trying to make up for his penis size. He sees me, gives me that look like I should be impressed.
My boyfriend is parked right next to him. He drives a truck that's lifted to the point where cops in our town are terrified and tell him "not to drive over us." (True story.) Put simply, if we got into a crash, this guy would be lost somewhere under us. And I also like to think he got the point I'm a pickup truck/bike girl, not a sports car/expensive gift/small penis girl.
MissMynxx
05-11-2009, 01:51 AM
*blinks* Well, this one wasn't a customer, but an assistant manager. It was late, and the club had pretty well cleared out. To preface, I rock the goth look (the ONLY GIRL in my club who does!). I was waiting at the cage to check out, and got in a conversation with the asst. manager. We were talking about how we wound up working in the strip club - he has a degree in Family Counseling, but decided the career path wasn't for him, so he was working while putting himself back through college. He looked like he expected me to be impressed. I told him I'm headed toward my Bachelor's in Computer Engineering - and had 3 computer certifications, working toward my 4th. I sorta started babbling, talking about my day job (working as the IT Manager for a local company ground-floor, setting everything up for their corporate office and blah blah blah) and I noticed he was giving me this WIDE-eyed stare.
Me: "Um ... why are you staring?"
Manager: "You ... you seriously know your shit, don't you?"
Me: "Uh ... yeah. I work here to supplement my income right now, since I'm still on a contract. I don't start full-time for three months."
Manager: "Oh, my god. I seriously had you pegged as just some little ... dark, goth-y sorta ... pot head. I had NO idea you had a brain! You seriously don't look like you could be smart. I'm really surprised."
Me: "..."
...I really have NO idea what to say to him when I see him on Tuesday. Every time I walk by him now, he calls me smarty-pants. It's really freaking annoying. :O
MarvelGirl
05-11-2009, 04:36 AM
I had one a long time ago that I just thought of because of MissMynx's post.
It was really late, getting to be morning instead of night and the club was starting to clear out. I had an upset stomach and went up to the bar to get a soda to try to settle it, and this guy sitting at the bar said hello. I was talking to him while waiting for my drink, and he asked me some random ass question that I can't even remember now.
Before I can answer, he says "Whoosh! Right over you head!" and laughs hysterically. This repeats about four times while I'm waiting for my drink, "Hey, have you ever seen *insert old ass movie here*? Whoosh! Right over your head!" Complete with hand gestures of this impressive information flying right over my head.
Something he said gave him away, and I interrupted his little show to say, "You're military."
He got all shocked, and asked how I could tell. I told him I was prior service army, and that it was his slang that gave him away. He suddenly became really serious, and told me that I just said the right thing. He was in the Navy, he washed laundry.
So he asks me what my MOS was. I tell him, 98C.
He gets this confused look on his face. "98C? What's that?"
"Intelligence."
The eyes get wider.
"Yeah, I was a cat four linguist, Korean to be exact."
The guys mouth actually dropped open, but before he could say anything I yelled:
"WHOOSH! RIGHT OVER YOUR HEAD!" and walked away.
At the time, I was so pissed, but looking back on it, that is one of the most awesome moments I've had in club, lol.
mediocrity
05-11-2009, 04:40 AM
^^I think I am going to pee myself laughing. OMFG.
Gia2608
05-11-2009, 09:35 AM
I
"WHOOSH! RIGHT OVER YOUR HEAD!" and walked away.
At the time, I was so pissed, but looking back on it, that is one of the most awesome moments I've had in club, lol.
I'm literally crying right now from laughing so hard!!
Gia2608
05-11-2009, 09:42 AM
Not a customer comment but stupid man, none the less. Ok so I am portugese. I have jet black hair that I bleach blonde (and I color my eye brows) and jet black eyes. I used to wear green contacts because I worked at a club where like 3/4 of the girls were hispanic so I wanted to stand out.
I used to have one of those loser boyfriends we girls sometimes associate with. He was Puerto Rican, also with black hair and eyes.\
Says to me one day : " I love you so much. I want to have a baby. I hope it has blonde hair and green eyes like you".
He f'ing lived with me and knew the contacts were fake and the hair color was fake. Lol.. What a dumb ass, got him a one way ticket to PR for the summer 3 years ago, told him to call me when he wanted to come back then changed my number and moved.
BoxOfPandora
05-11-2009, 09:54 AM
^ Oh my god that is such a bitch move. I think I'm in love :D
Evan86
05-11-2009, 01:12 PM
Custy, "I have $7000 in my pocket and another $10,000 in my room all you have to do to get it is meet me at the HOTEL 6."
Me, " You have $17,000 in cash and your staying at the Hotel 6? Uhmmm no thanks.
Seriously...
:D
Jianna
05-11-2009, 02:06 PM
I yelled:
"WHOOSH! RIGHT OVER YOUR HEAD!" and walked away.
At the time, I was so pissed, but looking back on it, that is one of the most awesome moments I've had in club, lol.
bwahahahahaahahahh BEST STORY EVERRRRR
Otoki
05-13-2009, 07:27 PM
I had one a long time ago that I just thought of because of MissMynx's post.
It was really late, getting to be morning instead of night and the club was starting to clear out. I had an upset stomach and went up to the bar to get a soda to try to settle it, and this guy sitting at the bar said hello. I was talking to him while waiting for my drink, and he asked me some random ass question that I can't even remember now.
Before I can answer, he says "Whoosh! Right over you head!" and laughs hysterically. This repeats about four times while I'm waiting for my drink, "Hey, have you ever seen *insert old ass movie here*? Whoosh! Right over your head!" Complete with hand gestures of this impressive information flying right over my head.
Something he said gave him away, and I interrupted his little show to say, "You're military."
He got all shocked, and asked how I could tell. I told him I was prior service army, and that it was his slang that gave him away. He suddenly became really serious, and told me that I just said the right thing. He was in the Navy, he washed laundry.
So he asks me what my MOS was. I tell him, 98C.
He gets this confused look on his face. "98C? What's that?"
"Intelligence."
The eyes get wider.
"Yeah, I was a cat four linguist, Korean to be exact."
The guys mouth actually dropped open, but before he could say anything I yelled:
"WHOOSH! RIGHT OVER YOUR HEAD!" and walked away.
At the time, I was so pissed, but looking back on it, that is one of the most awesome moments I've had in club, lol.
That's fucking awesome. I've definitely had the occasional asshole trying to feel superior by shooting random trivia at me. I'm often tempted to start babbling random facts about Japan at them to watch the fail, but feel like it would be rude. Hey, your story has convinced me that their rudeness MUST come with consequences!;D
davka
05-14-2009, 06:13 PM
I had a fucking psychopath (he oozed serial killer energy) tell me he didn't want to buy a dance because talking was free and "he hated money." he said, "fuck money. I have so much fucking money you wouldn't know what to do with it." So much money but none to spend on a dance. I kicked a beer in his face from the stage later that night.
gradpsych
05-16-2009, 06:49 PM
It amazes me to read these, how some men can actually be so dense and stupid. But at the same token I can't help but laugh and picture your girls expression when something like these things happen.
I applaud you ladies for being able to do this and put up with such jerks, dumb asses, idiots etc as I know I would end up going crazy :)
solanas
05-16-2009, 11:24 PM
Me: "Hi, How are you doing?"
Customer: "Fine" *points to my chest* "What does that say?"
Me: "Black Widow"
Customer: "Oh that's a cool thing to get tattooed on your cranium."
Me: "Yeah....."
This pretty much killed me with laughter!
Innocense
05-17-2009, 12:51 AM
Him: this is your only job?
Me: yeah...
Him: so u make a living out of this?
Me: oh no... I'm a 23 year old stripper who still lives at home with her parents.. I do this because it is my hobby to dance for fat middle aged bald dudes..
Him: really?
Me: :'(
JayATee
08-17-2009, 10:45 PM
I have a fleur de lis tattooed on my ankle and integrated into several other tats in various places. Anyway, I inevitably get these questions at least once night: "Hey, so are you a saints fan?" And (my all time fav and the one that is absolutely priceless) "Were you a boyscout?" Yes honey I was a boyscout. I recently had a sex change.
And then there was the one the other night where the guy (already knowing what it meant) asked me what it meant bc he wanted to see if I was smart enough to know. Yes... I have random things tattoed on my body and I have no clue what they are or what they mean. I just let my artist go to town and hope for the best. ::)
M3wlove
08-17-2009, 11:55 PM
DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE TO PAY FOR A DANCE?
:does prissy cockhead moves around his face:
um, no it really doesnt. it looks like you have to beg for one 'cause your face reads "douchebag"
Otoki
08-18-2009, 08:28 AM
And then there was the one the other night where the guy (already knowing what it meant) asked me what it meant bc he wanted to see if I was smart enough to know. Yes... I have random things tattoed on my body and I have no clue what they are or what they mean. I just let my artist go to town and hope for the best. ::)
To be fair, a LOT of people get tattoos without knowing what they mean. But yeah, that would get downright annoying after a while:P
firemaiden04
08-18-2009, 12:00 PM
To be fair, a LOT of people get tattoos without knowing what they mean. But yeah, that would get downright annoying after a while:P
We had a guy come in who had a Hello Kitty tattoo. We all thought it was hilarious, but he wouldn't talk about it. I guess it brought up bad, bad memories...
DesuvsDeath
08-18-2009, 12:14 PM
Ever since I pierced the dimples [Which, is, btw... the biggest MONEY KILLER ever... I instantly saw a 1k a week drop in income that has never gone back up.]... I'm always getting "you're such a pretty girl... why would you do something like that?"
Seriously? Why do you care? You don't like it... you aren't going to get a dance... WHY DID YOU WALK ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE ROOM TO ASK ME THAT?
My answer is always "Because I like when strangers ask me stupid ass questions. -_-"
ViolaStrings
08-18-2009, 12:35 PM
^ I'm starting to wonder if my clit ring has done the same thing to my money. Guys always wince and go "Wouldn't that hurt my dick?" Uh NO, because 1. It's on my hood of my clit and you clearly don't understand the whole vulva thing and 2. Your dick isn't ever getting anywhere near me.
sexy_adriana
08-18-2009, 06:43 PM
Last week I was giving a lap dance to this guy who was about 50yrs old, during the middle of the lap dance he says, "can I lick your asshole", I said NO then he said, "well Jasmine let me last week", I was totally grossed out. What are these guys thinking?
vonniestarrr
08-23-2009, 05:17 AM
We had a guy come in who had a Hello Kitty tattoo. We all thought it was hilarious, but he wouldn't talk about it. I guess it brought up bad, bad memories...
HA! who DOES shit like that? that's like some shit Steve-O or one of those Wild Boyz would do for ratings...
audrey_k
08-23-2009, 07:34 AM
A minute or so into my usual how-are-you-whats-your name-what else did you do tonight:
customer: what is this?
me: sorry?
customer: you're all like cars salesmen. what's with that?
me: well this is a sales job.
customer: thank you for being honest.
while giving a dance last weekend:
customer: how often do you fucK?
me: uhm... well it depends...
customer: no, i mean how often do you fuck in here.
me: never.
customer: what about out of here?
me: for money?
customer: yes.
me: never.
customer: alright this is enough for me thanks. who can i get a real dance from?
me: i dont know, drive out to downtown LA and look for the girls in short skirts on the street. im sure they can help you.
Otoki
08-24-2009, 10:29 AM
A minute or so into my usual how-are-you-whats-your name-what else did you do tonight:
customer: what is this?
me: sorry?
customer: you're all like cars salesmen. what's with that?
me: well this is a sales job.
customer: thank you for being honest.
while giving a dance last weekend:
customer: how often do you fucK?
me: uhm... well it depends...
customer: no, i mean how often do you fuck in here.
me: never.
customer: what about out of here?
me: for money?
customer: yes.
me: never.
customer: alright this is enough for me thanks. who can i get a real dance from?
me: i dont know, drive out to downtown LA and look for the girls in short skirts on the street. im sure they can help you.
:O What at uplifting bunch of customers.