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BarbieDancer88
12-04-2009, 03:02 AM
Customer staring intensely down.
Me:what are you staring at my boobs?
Customer: no no, your ankles. You have very young ankles, what are you 16, 17?
Me: what?! You have to be 18 to dance.
Custy: This club is called barely legal isn't it, F**** government lies and takes everything including the young poontang.
Me in my head: wtf is really going on.

I think he had a mental illness or something. :O

mediocrity
12-04-2009, 05:11 PM
"I'd love a dance from you next song!"
"Great!"
"Sorry I don't have any 20s" [pulls out a five and smiles]
"Oh you, you're teasing me."
[blank look] "..About what? How much are the dance prices?"
"Uh $20."
"Really?"
"It's policy."
"Oh." [hands me a $20]

I geuinely thought he was teasing me. He was not.

BoxOfPandora
12-04-2009, 06:36 PM
^Really gotta love the guys who pretend they don't have enough for a dance, or even a dollar to tip, until you make it clear you won't tolerate their cheapness, and how that money appears magically when they fork it over.

peachplumpear
12-04-2009, 10:37 PM
This wasn't so much stupid as it was plain mean! I had just started the dance, my naked body touching him slightly, (he's a well dressed investment banker)


Him: You know what I'm doing 1st thing tomorrow?
Me:Whats that?
Him:I'm buying a new suit.
Me: Oh, because I got this one dirty? (incredulous tone)
Him: (obviously back peddling) Oh, um, well, uhhhhhh
Me: What are you going to do with this one? Burn it? You can take it to the cleaners...
Him: No it's not that, I just want a new one....
Me :(thinking: yeahhhh right, I feel awesome now) Oh

IDONTKNOW
12-05-2009, 09:18 AM
I think the guys that are asking for sex and extra's are thinking" well she IS naked/topless, so that usually means getting ready for sex."
In an inherent way, a naked/topless woman standing in front of a man is telling the guy " I am not here to sit down for a cup of tea and a sandwich and to have a conversation."[/quote]

Elvia
12-05-2009, 01:03 PM
^^^Yes, one post of that was plenty enough, thank you. There's no need to repeat yourself, dear.

Pretty_Penny
12-06-2009, 09:51 PM
Lately I've been getting a lot of those "if I were a chick ID do this" comments. You know, from the guys who think our job is incredibly easy. Earlier this week a guy said this to me:

"What a great job you have. All you have to do is take your clothes off and dance around and us idiots just throw money at you. You girls have all the power. You just smile at us and walk home with a thousand bucks"

So I smiled at him and said "where's my grand???"

He gave me a whole two dollars!

:|

BoxOfPandora
12-07-2009, 10:23 AM
I like your answer- too bad he was cheap.

One guy tried getting me to give him time for free. And by time I mean time in and out of the club (sit around and talk and go on a date.)
"If I was a male stripper and a beautiful woman wanted to talk to me, I wouldn't charge her."
"Good luck paying your bills then."

He continued to tell me I could be giving up a great relationship by seeing him only as a customer. I gave up, told him I would be giving up a great relationship by hooking up with him and told him I have a bf I love. "There's no way you can have a boyfriend! There's no way he would let you do this!" I don't know where to start there: that he's insulting me, or that he's saying there's something wrong with what I'm doing for a living, or that he's trying to get with me while inadvertently telling me he's controlling.

CKXXX
12-07-2009, 11:56 AM
. "There's no way you can have a boyfriend! There's no way he would let you do this!" I don't know where to start there: that he's insulting me, or that he's saying there's something wrong with what I'm doing for a living, or that he's trying to get with me while inadvertently telling me he's controlling.

LOVE those guys. I always told them that if they thought they had any right to "let me" or not let me do ANYTHING then they have a lot to learn about women. And that I'd never in a million years be with anyone who who thought they had the right to tell me what to do. So well done. I thought you were cute before you said that...but I'm not giving you my number NOW.

Not that I would have anyway...just to make the point!

peachplumpear
12-08-2009, 05:52 PM
^------See and that's exactly why they walked into a strip club, no chick will date or even talk to them with that attitude!

JayATee
12-22-2009, 03:10 PM
Custie: "You have big boobs"
Me: "Thanks"
Custie: "Are they real?"
Me: (instantly annoyed) "You can see them right?"
Custie: "No I mean do you have implants?"
Me: "Yes, why?"
Custie: "I've never been with a girl with fake tits before, do they feel different?"
Me: (already seeing where this is going) "They're a little firmer"
Custie: "What would it cost for me to be able to compare the feel of a real boob to a fake one?"
Me: "Much more than you have"
Custie: "Are you kidding? Do you know who I am?"
Me: (getting up to leave) "Yup, someone who can't afford me."

Xiomara
12-22-2009, 08:25 PM
**after being approached by a man, as I stand in nothing but a thong**
Man: "Do u work here?"
Me: walks away. Gosh.
duh!!!

Xiomara
12-22-2009, 08:37 PM
another man i guesss he was in his 30's....
I sat in his lap to begin my dance, and I felt a vibration...
Me: I think ur phone is ringing....(standing up slightly)
Him: Silent
Me: U wanna get that,might be important??
Him: No its for you...
Me: Ummm, huh?
Him: for ur pleasure...
Me: CRACKING UP silently.... "Thanks but I dont get pleasure out of this. My feet actually really hurt too much to get pleasure" continues to dance, ignoring the lil pocket bullet. UGH
________________
Him: I dont normally come to strip clubs.
*After I tell him I dont date guys from the club*
________________

Him: Can I lick it?
thats the nastiest thing they could say. If i let u, how many other men do u think I let "lick it" and u dont know how sweaty i am!!!!! ugh

charlie61
12-22-2009, 08:42 PM
^ Wow. I mean, it's kind of cute (the pocket bullet one)...in that he wanted to make you feel good. But also massively creepy. That's crazy.

chris91
12-23-2009, 12:14 AM
another man i guesss he was in his 30's....
I sat in his lap to begin my dance, and I felt a vibration...
Me: I think ur phone is ringing....(standing up slightly)
Him: Silent
Me: U wanna get that,might be important??
Him: No its for you...
Me: Ummm, huh?
Him: for ur pleasure...
Me: CRACKING UP silently.... "Thanks but I dont get pleasure out of this. My feet actually really hurt too much to get pleasure" continues to dance, ignoring the lil pocket bullet. UGH
________________


It never ceases to amaze me how completely clueless some people are. It makes me wonder if the aliens aren't already living amongst us.

firemaiden04
12-23-2009, 12:20 AM
another man i guesss he was in his 30's....
I sat in his lap to begin my dance, and I felt a vibration...
Me: I think ur phone is ringing....(standing up slightly)
Him: Silent
Me: U wanna get that,might be important??
Him: No its for you...
Me: Ummm, huh?
Him: for ur pleasure...
Me: CRACKING UP silently.... "Thanks but I dont get pleasure out of this. My feet actually really hurt too much to get pleasure" continues to dance, ignoring the lil pocket bullet. UGH


Awww, how considerate. :rotfl:

DesuvsDeath
12-23-2009, 12:24 PM
**after being approached by a man, as I stand in nothing but a thong**
Man: "Do u work here?"
Me: walks away. Gosh.
duh!!!
bahahhahahahahahaa.
Srsly? Fucking morons... some of these guys.

mediocrity
12-23-2009, 06:26 PM
another man i guesss he was in his 30's....
I sat in his lap to begin my dance, and I felt a vibration...
Me: I think ur phone is ringing....(standing up slightly)
Him: Silent
Me: U wanna get that,might be important??
Him: No its for you...
Me: Ummm, huh?
Him: for ur pleasure...
Me: CRACKING UP silently.... "Thanks but I dont get pleasure out of this. My feet actually really hurt too much to get pleasure" continues to dance, ignoring the lil pocket bullet. UGH


I would have gone apeshit on his ass.

hustlebunny
12-23-2009, 07:06 PM
Me: I'm reading an anthology edited by blah, blah, blah...

Custy: Anthology, that's a big word! I wouldn't expect to hear THAT in here.

Me: Anthology is a big word?!?!

God forbid if I had told him I have two degrees *smacking forehead*

firemaiden04
12-23-2009, 09:21 PM
^ LOL

Last week I went to work even though I was totally fucking exhausted and out of it. A customer asked how I was doing, and I said, "Honestly, I'm feeling a little lethargic."
And he said, "Oh, so you're horny, huh? *wink*"
And I was like, "...um, yeah, that's right."

MissAlethea
01-03-2010, 04:03 AM
^^^ *snrk snrk snrk* I'm a total word nerd, so that is HILARIOUS to me... ;D

JayATee
01-04-2010, 02:23 AM
^ LOL

Last week I went to work even though I was totally fucking exhausted and out of it. A customer asked how I was doing, and I said, "Honestly, I'm feeling a little lethargic."
And he said, "Oh, so you're horny, huh? *wink*"
And I was like, "...um, yeah, that's right."

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Amareth
01-05-2010, 11:52 AM
This one was a while ago but I'll never forget it:

*taking customer for a dance, he hands me £20 but says he only wants a £10 dance*
Me: That's fine, I don't have any change on me now but I'll change it at the bar after
Custie: Make sure I get my change
Me: Yeah, I will
Custie: I don't want you ripping me off! *being very serious*
Me: Um... I'm in lingerie and stilettos, I'm not going to run off down the street with it
Custie: Ok, just make sure you don't forget *finally sits down* actually just keep the £20 and do two songs
/:O
*same customer, song changes and I start dancing*
Custie: I love this song!
Me: Yeah, me too
Custie: It's a brilliant song, I really love it
Me: Yeah, I like dancing to it
Custie: I'm almost want to tempted to tell you to FUCK OFF so I can sit here and enjoy this song!
Me:...
:O

Firewall
01-05-2010, 01:15 PM
^ I'd make a face similar to -.- at that. Some people lol.

Otoki
01-06-2010, 12:05 PM
This one was a while ago but I'll never forget it:

*taking customer for a dance, he hands me £20 but says he only wants a £10 dance*
Me: That's fine, I don't have any change on me now but I'll change it at the bar after
Custie: Make sure I get my change
Me: Yeah, I will
Custie: I don't want you ripping me off! *being very serious*
Me: Um... I'm in lingerie and stilettos, I'm not going to run off down the street with it
Custie: Ok, just make sure you don't forget *finally sits down* actually just keep the £20 and do two songs
/:O
*same customer, song changes and I start dancing*
Custie: I love this song!
Me: Yeah, me too
Custie: It's a brilliant song, I really love it
Me: Yeah, I like dancing to it
Custie: I'm almost want to tempted to tell you to FUCK OFF so I can sit here and enjoy this song!
Me:...
:O
Wha...
WTF? Was he drunk? Tell me he was drunk.

JayATee
01-07-2010, 12:42 AM
This one was a while ago but I'll never forget it:

*taking customer for a dance, he hands me £20 but says he only wants a £10 dance*
Me: That's fine, I don't have any change on me now but I'll change it at the bar after
Custie: Make sure I get my change
Me: Yeah, I will
Custie: I don't want you ripping me off! *being very serious*
Me: Um... I'm in lingerie and stilettos, I'm not going to run off down the street with it
Custie: Ok, just make sure you don't forget *finally sits down* actually just keep the £20 and do two songs
/:O
*same customer, song changes and I start dancing*
Custie: I love this song!
Me: Yeah, me too
Custie: It's a brilliant song, I really love it
Me: Yeah, I like dancing to it
Custie: I'm almost want to tempted to tell you to FUCK OFF so I can sit here and enjoy this song!
Me:...
:O

I would've told him to fuck off and walked away. What a loser.

Sia
01-22-2010, 02:49 PM
Customer during dances: "You look really gullible."
Me: "Is it the blonde hair?" while giggling stupidly.
Customer: "Yeah, I think so."

WTF was he trying to accomplish telling me I look gullible? Underhanded insult? Weird-ass compliment? Perhaps he doesn't even know the meaning of the word. Who knows.

What I should have told him when his dances were over: "I have 5 years of university education, have never had a grade less than an A, and you sir, are the gullible assbag falling for my dumb blonde act while paying me $20 per 3 minutes of my time."

Just had to rant, last night was one of those nights.

CKXXX
01-23-2010, 09:14 AM
Customer during dances: "You look really gullible."
Me: "Is it the blonde hair?" while giggling stupidly.
Customer: "Yeah, I think so."

WTF was he trying to accomplish telling me I look gullible? Underhanded insult? Weird-ass compliment? Perhaps he doesn't even know the meaning of the word. Who knows.

What I should have told him when his dances were over: "I have 5 years of university education, have never had a grade less than an A, and you sir, are the gullible assbag falling for my dumb blonde act while paying me $20 per 3 minutes of my time."

Just had to rant, last night was one of those nights.

You should have pulled the "did you know that 'gullible' isnt in the dictionary" trick..lolol

Otoki
01-23-2010, 10:39 AM
Customer during dances: "You look really gullible."
Me: "Is it the blonde hair?" while giggling stupidly.
Customer: "Yeah, I think so."

WTF was he trying to accomplish telling me I look gullible? Underhanded insult? Weird-ass compliment? Perhaps he doesn't even know the meaning of the word. Who knows.

What I should have told him when his dances were over: "I have 5 years of university education, have never had a grade less than an A, and you sir, are the gullible assbag falling for my dumb blonde act while paying me $20 per 3 minutes of my time."

Just had to rant, last night was one of those nights.
You know, when I have the energy to act stupid, what keeps me going is the hilarity of guys who think they're "getting one over" on the dumb stripper, while they hand us twenties. Like I said, I need to have the energy for it, but I find it immensely satisfying if a guy is trying to be a douche.

Athenathefabulous
01-27-2010, 05:04 AM
"see unlike you, I am willing to break the rules. Because i am a customer."

:banghead:

ViolaStrings
01-27-2010, 11:33 AM
^ that's actually pretty funny, but only in retrospect.

KS_Stevia
01-27-2010, 12:21 PM
I think these guys are trying out their "neg" skills, based on the vast popularity of all these pick-up artist type courses all over the 'nets. Verdict: FAIL. :)

GlitterBexie
02-27-2010, 05:25 AM
Said to me last night, id walked up to a customer, barely opened my mouth and he came out with this little gem of a backhanded compliment...

''Im not getting a dance of you, you're wierd, you're too.....intelligent!''

Wasn't sure wether to be pleased of miffed! haha!

ViolaStrings
02-27-2010, 03:38 PM
I think these guys are trying out their "neg" skills, based on the vast popularity of all these pick-up artist type courses all over the 'nets. Verdict: FAIL. :)

Completely agree! I actually called someone out on trying to neg me and they were pretty embarrassed.

mediocrity
02-27-2010, 03:42 PM
Guy comes up stage with a dollar.

Me: Hi honey! Thank you!
Him: You're scared of me.
Me: No, I'm not at all.
Him: Yes you are.
Me: [getting irritated] I'm not scared of shit. Why would I be scared of you?
Him: Because I'm Mexican.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Otoki
02-27-2010, 10:34 PM
Guy comes up stage with a dollar.

Me: Hi honey! Thank you!
Him: You're scared of me.
Me: No, I'm not at all.
Him: Yes you are.
Me: [getting irritated] I'm not scared of shit. Why would I be scared of you?
Him: Because I'm Mexican.

WHAT THE FUCK.
Yeah, Mexicans are totally scary./:O

DesuvsDeath
02-28-2010, 03:00 PM
Zomg Mexicans! Eeek!

Customers telling me what I think/feel... is actually my BIGGEST pet peeve.

sananeko
02-28-2010, 07:38 PM
Hanging out with a small drink keeping to myself, when this guy came up to me.
Guy: You must be a dancer.
Me: Sometimes.
Guy: I thought so cause only a dancer would have fake boobs, You want to go home with me?
Me: No...
Guy: I can make your day, I have 50 bucks to make your night.
Me(getting very annoyed): Dude I can make 2k a night without ever fucking anyone why the hell would I ever even waste time thinking about your offer.
Guy: Cause your a stripper.
Me:...
(note..Mine are real..)

ViolaStrings
02-28-2010, 08:56 PM
^ I would have thrown my drink in his face, spit on him, and cursed his whole family.

alice_island
02-28-2010, 09:28 PM
Guy comes up stage with a dollar.

Me: Hi honey! Thank you!
Him: You're scared of me.
Me: No, I'm not at all.
Him: Yes you are.
Me: [getting irritated] I'm not scared of shit. Why would I be scared of you?
Him: Because I'm Mexican.

WHAT THE FUCK.

yes, because i am afraid of the sombrero ninja and his death-ray burritos!!!:D

J.D.
03-01-2010, 02:56 AM
Guy comes up stage with a dollar.

Me: Hi honey! Thank you!
Him: You're scared of me.
Me: No, I'm not at all.
Him: Yes you are.
Me: [getting irritated] I'm not scared of shit. Why would I be scared of you?
Him: Because I'm Mexican.

WHAT THE FUCK.

You should've been like, "Yeah, and I hang out with Puerto Ricans (;)), so YOU should be scared!"

God I wish I was there working with you that night, I love to talk shit to Mexicans, or Chicanos, and knock 'em down a few notches.

Amareth
03-01-2010, 06:26 AM
Customers telling me what I think/feel... is actually my BIGGEST pet peeve.

Agreed. Have had sooo many conversations with customer that go something like:

Guy: What's your name? <Alison> No it's not. Where are you from <Australia> Nah, you're from Poland or something. How old are you? <22> you look about 17 to me. Do you enjoy doing this? <love it, actually> No you don't, you hate it.

I mean really, what's the point of asking me questions if you're not going to believe anything I say?! These guys are so damn frustrating.

Amareth
03-01-2010, 06:45 AM
On another note here's a conversation between me (A), another dancer (R), a regular customer (D) and the bartender (G)

I was sitting chatting to D and R comes over

R: Hi D, how ar... you ok?
D: Yeah...
R: Oh! Thought I saw something funny about your face
Me: (already starting to laugh) No, that's just his face

about 10 minutes later we're talking about the weird and hilarious tan lines I have on my arse (that I've decided not to cover up because it's funny)

G: Are you still talking about D's funny face
Me: No, we're talking about my funny arse
D: We could compare my face to A's arse

We all just died laughing over this, there were only a few other people in the bar and they were all looking over wondering what was going on :D

saphire123456
03-01-2010, 02:17 PM
Agreed. Have had sooo many conversations with customer that go something like:

Guy: What's your name? <Alison> No it's not. Where are you from <Australia> Nah, you're from Poland or something. How old are you? <22> you look about 17 to me. Do you enjoy doing this? <love it, actually> No you don't, you hate it.

I mean really, what's the point of asking me questions if you're not going to believe anything I say?! These guys are so damn frustrating.

^ I get that too sometimes. Eventually thou I get pissed off and tell them" why don't you just tell me where I'm from and what I like, and i'll just agree, k?"

charlie61
03-01-2010, 03:50 PM
I mean really, what's the point of asking me questions if you're not going to believe anything I say?! These guys are so damn frustrating.

I have a theory that these people are trying to re-program us.

LilMissSophie
03-01-2010, 03:57 PM
I'm in the back of the club on side stage--get no attention or love until this guy comes over.

customer: Hi! I'm 25!!!

me: /:O That's cool...

customer: Are you 25 too?

me: Sure, honey.

*I do a dance, hold out my garter and look at him expectantly but he doesn't get the hint*

customer: :O I'm going on vacation next year!!!

me: >:( That's great. *I look around for other customers*

customer: Wanna guess where I'm going?

me: An ATM?

customer: Disneyworld!!! I was hoping to find someone to go with....

me: :-\

ViolaStrings
03-01-2010, 04:53 PM
^ ahahahaha

Amareth
03-01-2010, 08:49 PM
I have a theory that these people are trying to re-program us.

lol, possibly, though the fact they keep trying to program me to be an unhappy, underage, Polish girl makes me very worried... :-\

Firewall
03-01-2010, 09:25 PM
*Black guy eyeing me eager for my attention* I talk to him for a few minutes, he's checking me out.

Me: Well I gotta give this guy a dance I'll be back when I'm done
Him: *looking eager* ill be waiting for you
*comes back up*
Him: Where's your dude?
Me: I'm giving him a break to hang out with you *talking for a minute, he is eyeing me like crazy*
Me: Ready to go?
*he looks at me and laughs*
Him: Oh you thought i wanted a table dance?
*me, confused on the inside*: Yeah ... wanna go?
*him laughing and shaking his head* : Why would I want a table dance.
Me: Okay i'm gonna go downstairs now ...

wtf he acts like im an idiot for asking for a dance. don't oogle me and then laugh when im trying to do my job, fucker

*asking old white guy for dance, him chuckling along with me*
Me: yahh but you gotta behave *he had been a little touchy*
Him: No I'll do whatever I want, this place has no hold on me,I don't live within the limitations of the club, I make the rules.
Me: well I'll see ya.

.... Like i want you to pay me to fight you off me, or like you have any authority in MY club. fucker


i havent been working that long, cant wait to post a bunch! XD


...

DesuvsDeath
03-02-2010, 05:05 AM
I'm asking this guy for a dance earlier tonight... he keeps trying to feel up on my tits while I keep pushing his hand away and pushing for a dance... then opens his wallet to find he can't afford a dance...
I say "Oh. That's too bad. Congratulations though... now you get to pay me everything in your wallet for trying to feel up on my tits."
Customer "That's the greediest fucking thing I've ever heard. Here. Take it, bitch."

Rofl.
Like I was seriously going to let this guy try to grope me and NOT buy a dance for free?