View Full Version : Stupid Customer Comments
chanzep
08-07-2011, 03:33 PM
Moron: Awww.. how come you dyed your hair? I think a natural blond is beautiful.
Me: Sorry to tell you this but this is my natural hair color..
Moron: Don't lie to me! I know all stripper have blond hair. You guys are just trying to reach the less known groups of men. I know how this all works.
Me: ... Your right.. I'm sorry I tried to lie.. How about you buy some dances from me so I can go back to the stylist and have her turn it back to its "natural" color.
Moron: Thats my girl.
This is soo funny!
The_Ecdysiast
08-07-2011, 05:11 PM
Custy was sitting next to me while I was waiting to go on stage for my set.
Customer: When you get up, can I touch you?
Me: *confused look* What, my arm???
Customer: No, that *points to my vagina*
Me: Ummm, NO?! :-/
Customer: Don't be so uptight; you'll make more $$ that way when you play along.
Me: I'm not a prostitute or an escort; I am a STRIPPER! I sell the fantasy; I don't fulfill it. And even if I was, you'd think I'd let some nimrod finger pop me for a couple of ranky dank dollars??? I'd get top dollar for my coochie! *rolls eyes, scoffs, and walks away*
While on stage, same customer comes up to the stage and says...
Customer: Will you have sex with me?
Me: Ummm, no? I thought we established already I'm not a prostitute.
Customer: *With disgusted look on his face* Why would you say prostitute? If I wanted to pay for sex with a hoe, I would.
This same old, fat ass tries to pull this on ALL of the girls, and a couple actually let him touch them for some chump change *shutters* If a female wants to escort/prostitute I respect the hustle, but letting a dirty old man finger fuck you for some coins? Get from 'round me with that!
tempest666
08-19-2011, 08:12 AM
Priv show?
[You]
I'm working every day until my surgery
[Trey Woodring]
Open to hj?500
[You]
dude giving a HJ is like doing someone's taxes..long, tedious work
I can barely give my man a HJ let alone do one with time constraints
[Trey Woodring]
Ok bj
Actual IM conversation
kaiarose
08-19-2011, 12:45 PM
Last night:
Customer: You are so sexy. Last time I was here I saw you onstage and you had that glassy drunk look on your face. Soo fucking sexy..
Me: Uhhhhh, thanks, I think??
I have that look everytime I work!
Laurisa
08-20-2011, 01:24 PM
There were two broke customers in the club from when we opened until we closed. College kids, each with like $6 to their name--from what they indicated.
Anyway, I'm standing in line for showtime near the table and one of the kids is pointing at my nose. He's like "do you see the coke?!"
I walked over to him and asked him how he could know the difference between coke and splenda when he only has $6 to his name.
I wasn't doing coke. Fucking moron.
Amber_Sparxx
08-28-2011, 01:36 PM
This thread has got me thinking I might be on the wrong team. Why the fuck are men so stupid?
I think our industry see a much higher ratio of dumb customers in general. Dumb people with money plus alcohol on a good day can still equal money, or at least a few good stories. I love this thread!
kassie
08-28-2011, 03:20 PM
You look unhappy!
I just walked here because I see that you look lonely.
I get these comments also ever single mother f_____ing night!
Can a girl just sit down without getting these stupid remarks?
Needless to say all the customers who tell me that never intend to get dances so I tell them "go away"
Then I wait for a worthy customer to approach me.
luscious sadie
08-28-2011, 09:46 PM
You look unhappy!
I just walked here because I see that you look lonely.
I get these comments also ever single mother f_____ing night!
Can a girl just sit down without getting these stupid remarks?
Needless to say all the customers who tell me that never intend to get dances so I tell them "go away"
Then I wait for a worthy customer to approach me.
the other day I started playing on my phone
him: you look bored
me: I'm not selling any dances, of course I'm bored
him: well we can talk for a bit
me: do you want to go for some dances?
him: no but we can still talk
me: I'm not going to talk to you for free
him: but you're supposed to
me: maybe another girl is supposed to give you the time of day for free but you have to pay for my time
him: but you're so bored!
cherryblossomsinspring
08-28-2011, 10:55 PM
the other day I started playing on my phone
him: you look bored
me: I'm not selling any dances, of course I'm bored
him: well we can talk for a bit
me: do you want to go for some dances?
him: no but we can still talk
me: I'm not going to talk to you for free
him: but you're supposed to
me: maybe another girl is supposed to give you the time of day for free but you have to pay for my time
him: but you're so bored!
Wow how annoying!! I don't think these are even mistakes. I think these men know that they aren't wanted and push just like the would hit on any woman not attracted to them. Uggh just reading this thread makes me mad. Well there are some funny ones too but seriously these guys should F*** OFF!
I really hate the " aww you look sad, lonely, bored, tired, upset". It's just a negative way to imply that there is something wrong with you so you should put up with their company.
I usually respond with,
yeah I'm sad because you came over
I'm tired of cheap men like you
I'm bored of talking to you (knowing that they just came over) lol
I'm upset because you came over and I thought you would take the hint to leave me alone. Please stop upsetting me and leave.
I'm lonely because there aren't any real men here, can you let me know when they show up? ( make that loser work for you, or atleast make him feel like the loser he is)
Cammi
09-05-2011, 10:09 PM
Him: I'm 25 but I don't know how to have the sex
Me: O.... kay?
Him: ...I've watched movies
Laurisa
09-06-2011, 06:26 PM
Me: "Would you like a dance?"
Custy: "No, but I have some beer in my car in the parking lot we can drink, I'll give you $20"
Kalypso
09-06-2011, 09:16 PM
When you're propositioned for a BJ, HJ, fingering, whateverthe case, does it work to just say " Uh no, you know that's not even legal right?" And make them seem like they're totally crazy (which they are) for even asking or acting like it should be standard??
I had a douchebag that was negging me nonstop. I'm like, nice try, I know that trick. So I started to fuck with him back.
Him: "What's that???" (pointing at an uneven spot from my self tanner on my neck.
Me: "That's where I had throat cancer and they had to cut it out"
Him: "Look at that out of shape loser in here in by himself over there, wow what a loser"
Me: "Why are you projecting your insecurities? Why do you feel that you are an out of shape loser?"
Him: "I feel like I'm getting played so bad right now, this wasn't worth it..." (halfway through an hour VIP)
Me: "well it's too late now, you live and you learn"
I mean, every little thing about me, this guy had a derogatory comment. I pulled out my lipgloss, and he was like, "what is that, lipgloss or a paintbrush???" in this condescending smart ass tone. Not once did he actually offend me, but I found it extremely annoying and difficult to put up with.
luscious sadie
09-07-2011, 01:14 AM
I haaaaaaaaaate that. It's pretty annoying that there aren't women out there with a fetish to want to put up with these guys. They can't get a girl so they come to the club and we have to deal with them :/
Laurisa
09-07-2011, 07:12 AM
I had a douchebag that was negging me nonstop. I'm like, nice try, I know that trick. So I started to fuck with him back.
Him: "What's that???" (pointing at an uneven spot from my self tanner on my neck.
Me: "That's where I had throat cancer and they had to cut it out"
Him: "Look at that out of shape loser in here in by himself over there, wow what a loser"
Me: "Why are you projecting your insecurities? Why do you feel that you are an out of shape loser?"
Him: "I feel like I'm getting played so bad right now, this wasn't worth it..." (halfway through an hour VIP)
Me: "well it's too late now, you live and you learn"
I mean, every little thing about me, this guy had a derogatory comment. I pulled out my lipgloss, and he was like, "what is that, lipgloss or a paintbrush???" in this condescending smart ass tone. Not once did he actually offend me, but I found it extremely annoying and difficult to put up with.
I had a customer like this, only it was during a lap dance. He was saying rude things like "I'm trying to figure out if you are hot, hot or just young, hot", "do you even know what the fuck you are doing", "omg I'm not even hard".
I think he made it about that far and then I stopped dancing (already had my money upfront) and called security. He was literally dragged out, kicking and screaming. I found out later he had been problematic with another girl a few weeks earlier.
I think you should have stopped the VIP and laughed in his face. }:D
melb_oz_n00b
09-07-2011, 10:38 AM
Since losing weight, my boobs are rather modest and not suuuuuuuper perky. But they're boobs, and many guys are very happy with them. Most of my repeat customers compliment how "natural" they are, then proceed to diss a nearby dancer with bolt-ons.
But once I was sitting naked on a very old, drunk custy's knee near the end of a dance and he started complimenting every part of my body: "Now just look at you - you've got a gorgeous smile, your legs are amazing, perky bum, lovely waist, and ... Have you ever thought of getting breast implants?"
Speechless.
Laurisa
09-07-2011, 10:50 AM
You should've asked him if he ever thought about having his face rearranged by a huge bouncer in the men's bathroom.
Kalypso
09-07-2011, 11:24 AM
Since losing weight, my boobs are rather modest and not suuuuuuuper perky. But they're boobs, and many guys are very happy with them. Most of my repeat customers compliment how "natural" they are, then proceed to diss a nearby dancer with bolt-ons.
But once I was sitting naked on a very old, drunk custy's knee near the end of a dance and he started complimenting every part of my body: "Now just look at you - you've got a gorgeous smile, your legs are amazing, perky bum, lovely waist, and ... Have you ever thought of getting breast implants?"
Speechless.
"Yes! Now give me the $5,000 ;D"
luscious sadie
09-21-2011, 11:46 PM
I went to a different area of the club to sit and play on my phone
these two guys were talking loudly enough that I could hear them (::)) about how "remember the days when girls would just want to talk to you" and "who do they think they are to treat us like this!" Just being huge babies. One of them went for a smoke and the other one moved over to me.
him: what you're not going to say hi?
me: hi, do you want to go for some fun?
him: no but we can talk for a bit
me: I'm not going to sit and talk if you're not paying me.
him: wha.
so then his friend comes back and he says (loudly again) "this one won't even talk to me if I'm not throwing money in her face... now she's leaving because we're not giving her any. I was like "actually, I'm leaving because my break is done. Believe it or not, this has NOTHING to do with you! :D" and they were like "SEE YA" which is the stupidest thing in the world.
the later a guy was in the back with me talking about how he's such a great tattoo artist and how he works in his house (BARF) and then he was like "yeah your tattoo is okay. The black and gray is great but the colour is shit..." YOU GUYS SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS TATTOOS. they were sooo bad and he was telling me that he doesn't have an autoclave because "they can leave germs and everything is disposable" So you get a new tattoo machine every time :O
guys were so stupid tonight...
FeministStripper
09-22-2011, 11:08 AM
I pulled out my lipgloss, and he was like, "what is that, lipgloss or a paintbrush???" in this condescending smart ass tone.
Stripper: Good question. I've got one: is that money, or loneliness and desperation?
Laurisa
09-22-2011, 12:32 PM
Or "is that a man? Or just a child trying to impress the grown ups?"
AmazingAmazon
09-22-2011, 07:14 PM
Me and a customer are sitting together having a GREAT conversation. The customer is tipping every girl on stage. (Mind you that this same customer has his back turned to the stage, o.O). The scenario goes a little somethin' like this:
Me: Dances on the stage for 3 songs, full throttle. My eyes are hard on the customer because I was waiting for him to come up to the stage and tip. Well, whoops! 3 songs pass, and not even a glance! I jump off stage and walk back to the same customer.
Customer: Where in the hell have you been?????
Me: I've been on stage! Duh!
Customer: I didn't see you on stage!
Me: You had your back turned to the stage,..
Customer: o.O Really?
We even have a video camera that records the girls on stage whilst they are dancing, and the video camera projects a screen RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAGE (So that guys know who are on stage,...o.OOOO)
Now, with a mexican customer,...
Mexican: I gotty money for your pussy.
Me: I gotty pussy, let go gitty in the VIP.
Mexican: For the pussy? Right?
*Hands me $30 then pulls it away as I reach for it, Hands it to me again"
Me: *Snatch money from hands* Okay lets start.
Mexican: Begins to unzip pants.
Me: Hey, we are not allowed to have sex here?! What do you think I am??? You said you wanted pussy right? *Stands up away from custy whilst doing an pelvic thrust in the air*
Nihmy
09-23-2011, 01:49 AM
Last night I had a customer find out I played video games. I could tell he was going to get some dances but I couldn't get him to shut up after he found that out so I ended just grabbing his hand and leading him back mid conversation..... We honest to god had an 8 song conversation WHILE I was dancing about gears of war. didn't matter what I did he just kept going. Instead of leaving me his phone number on a napkin he left me his gammer tag.
firemaiden04
09-23-2011, 09:57 AM
Last night I had a customer find out I played video games. I could tell he was going to get some dances but I couldn't get him to shut up after he found that out so I ended just grabbing his hand and leading him back mid conversation..... We honest to god had an 8 song conversation WHILE I was dancing about gears of war. didn't matter what I did he just kept going. Instead of leaving me his phone number on a napkin he left me his gammer tag.
LOL, I've had that kind of situation with World of Warcraft. They'll beg and plead all night for me to tell them what realm I play on and what my tag is. I finally told a customer once that I had some characters on Mal'Ganis, and he actually went and transferred his main over to that realm to play with me. Except I never play on Mal'Ganis anymore...
danamay
09-25-2011, 12:37 AM
My favorite recent one:
Guy: I'm in a book club.
Me: Oh yeah, what's the last book you did?
Guy: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
Me: Is this a Christian book club? (Gross look on my face)
Guy: No! (Weirded out look)
Me: You do realize that book is about Jesus.
Guy: No, it's not.
Me: Wikipedia the book. Better yet just google the title and "allegory."
Guy: It's not about Jesus. What are you a Jesus freak?
Me: No, I'm an atheist, you should just realize what you're reading about.
Guy: This is weird. I just want to lick your pussy.
It was like the conversation got so intellectual he couldn't take it anymore and just had to say something about sex. hahaha.
melb_oz_n00b
09-26-2011, 08:02 PM
Custy: So how old are you?
Me: 23.
Custy: Now try to guess how old I am.
Me (being generous - I usually try to say 5-10 years younger than they look): Uh, 38 or so?
Custy: Close. 39! (He was fug and looked a lot older.)
....
Then we made smalltalk about the club getting busier for a minute.
...
Custy, looking at stage: There are a lot of hot 18-year-olds in here tonight.
Me (in head): Well, I guess I'm just over-the-hill then. Or not jailbaitish enough for his sick fantasies. I took it as a hint to GTFO.
michele11
09-27-2011, 03:27 PM
Last night my gf and I are in vip all night........we walk pout with 35 min left I see a guy at thr bar and hurry over, he's all fucked up " wow you're stunning" me; thanks, what ther hell are you wearing, uh it's called a gown. meanwhile my gf walks up"wow you're stunning too wew the hell did you two come from with confused look. We try to tell him five times we've been in vip all night. Confused again " you girls work here' by this time I 'm just like we have to go. He tries to hand me his hotel key saying you girls come over and I'll give you 1000 each and I'll buy all the beer you can want. As we walk away...... do you girls work here. Lol.
Rileygrl06
09-27-2011, 05:57 PM
dancer: How about we go back for a dance?
guy 1: Oh, I don't know. I've already been back there. I've never come twice in one day before. You think you can do it?
dancer: -blank stare-
guy1: I tell you what, if you can get me off, I'll get you something.
guy 2: Buy her a coke -laughing-
guy 1: I'll do even better, I'll get you some coke.
Laurisa
09-27-2011, 06:39 PM
I sat down with some Asian men.
I couldn't tell if they were Japanese or not, because it was so loud I could barely hear them speaking. I can differentiate between a Japanese accent and a Chinese or Korean accent, for example. I did hear an accent though, so I said "where is your accent from"?
This younger guy was like "Toledo", so I thought I offended them. But then they all started speaking Korean quite clearly, I was like...that's what I thought, you have an accent. They acted as if I was racist for picking up on a fucking accent.
Anyway these guys were rude enough to walk up to me on stage and one of them put a dollar bill he soaked in beer on my skin. I threw it at him and said "GET OUT, BITCH! CAN YOU HEAR MY ACCENT NOW?!"
kaiarose
09-28-2011, 06:51 AM
dancer: How about we go back for a dance?
guy 1: Oh, I don't know. I've already been back there. I've never come twice in one day before. You think you can do it?
dancer: -blank stare-
guy1: I tell you what, if you can get me off, I'll get you something.
guy 2: Buy her a coke -laughing-
guy 1: I'll do even better, I'll get you some coke.
Shit like this pisses me off >:(
smeca
09-28-2011, 09:42 AM
In busy last half hour, laphopping time.
Guy: "Have you seen Susy?" (dancer)
No, not in quite a while.
"Will you go find her for me?"
Er, you can pay me and I'll check the dr
"Pay you?!!"
None of them seem to realise what time it is and what time the place closes or notice that it's really busy.
Also love trying to put off a dance with "what time do you finish?" 5 mins before closing :banghead:
luscious sadie
09-28-2011, 01:14 PM
In busy last half hour, laphopping time.
Guy: "Have you seen Susy?" (dancer)
No, not in quite a while.
"Will you go find her for me?"
Er, you can pay me and I'll check the dr
"Pay you?!!"
I used to look for girls for guys. Now I tell them to go to the DJ booth and ask the dj or wait by the LD room for the girl to come out. I don't take time out of me anymore if it's busy.
I have absolutely done that before, brought the dancer over only to have the guy waste her time. I feel like an idiot when that happens so I don't bother anymore.
Kalypso
09-28-2011, 04:31 PM
In busy last half hour, laphopping time.
Guy: "Have you seen Susy?" (dancer)
No, not in quite a while.
"Will you go find her for me?"
Er, you can pay me and I'll check the dr
"Pay you?!!"
None of them seem to realise what time it is and what time the place closes or notice that it's really busy.
Also love trying to put off a dance with "what time do you finish?" 5 mins before closing :banghead:
UGH! Who does he think he is? Go look for her yourself lazy bum.. Does he not realize stripping is a JOB not a freakin pastime? If he's not paying why would he expect for you to do shit for him?
girlundressed
09-28-2011, 11:07 PM
Customer told me this one the other day in the middle of a lap dance.
"Ooo, you're so soft......like a puppy.......no, that's a good thing!"
Kinda creepy and extremely awkward
luscious sadie
09-29-2011, 12:17 AM
I had a guy say to me "you're so soft like silk... I have never touched anyone as soft as you. You're silk"
wut.
smeca
09-29-2011, 01:08 PM
UGH! Who does he think he is? Go look for her yourself lazy bum.. Does he not realize stripping is a JOB not a freakin pastime? If he's not paying why would he expect for you to do shit for him?
I know, I'd never even seen or spoken to him that night so why does he expect a favour? He looked disgusted that I wouldn't and wanted payment lol.
Kaylee84
09-29-2011, 04:12 PM
"Whats your REAL name?"
None of your fucking business!
"I can't touch your pussy? Wow.. Clubs in (wherever the fuck they're from) are way more lenient.
I'm a stripper, not a prostitute. Go choke on your own spit.
"Are you attracted to me? Like, seriously? Or am I just another customer. You just want my money, dont you?"
No, I like you and want to be with you! I'm not even sure what your name is but I really thought this would be a good way to start out our future together! Here, check out my ass when I do this!
Aurora_Sunset
09-29-2011, 06:00 PM
Custy: So how old are you?
Me: 23.
Custy: Now try to guess how old I am.
Me (being generous - I usually try to say 5-10 years younger than they look): Uh, 38 or so?
Custy: Close. 39! (He was fug and looked a lot older.)
This is my least favorite question of all! I always try to be super generous too and make it a lot younger than I really think, but there's been times when the dude just looks fucking old. I had guy get SUPER pissed once because I guessed he was 34 and he was only..... 32.... yeah, I was off by a whole 2 years and this guy acted like a diva, wailing and moaning over how hurt he was that I thought he was 2 years older than he really was... And honestly, 34 was my "generous" guess...
It's not my damn fault if someone doesn't take care of themselves...
Miss_McKenna
09-30-2011, 11:43 AM
There were quite a few contenders for this thread last night up until I lost my temper and walked out unannounced on my shift (bad night all round) but I think the one that stands out was:
Young guy with a bachelor party: You look a bit like my daughter!
Me: Umm....oh... how old is she?
Him: She's only six. No offense but like.... GOD I hope she never ends up like you *laughs*
His friends: *laughing, cheering and high-fiving*
This was the absolute last straw in a shitty night, and I went and got dressed, and got in my car. Thank god the manager didn't seem to care when I texted him today.
miss1dancypants
09-30-2011, 12:39 PM
one time the massage girl and i were going around seeing if people wanted a "sandwich" (get a dance and massage at the same time). we asked one guy and he said "i'm all set, i actually WORK for a living."
I looked at him and I was like "what the fuck do you think we're doing here, dumbass?" then we walked away.
I know its bad to respond to rejection like that in the club but the place was dead (didn't make a bad impression on other custies cuz no one was there) and he flat out insulted us. its like ok buddy, you bust your ass and actually "work for a living" while i make as much as you make in a week in one night and actually enjoy myself. idiot
smeca
09-30-2011, 01:29 PM
There were quite a few contenders for this thread last night up until I lost my temper and walked out unannounced on my shift (bad night all round) but I think the one that stands out was:
Young guy with a bachelor party: You look a bit like my daughter!
Me: Umm....oh... how old is she?
Him: She's only six. No offense but like.... GOD I hope she never ends up like you *laughs*
His friends: *laughing, cheering and high-fiving*
This was the absolute last straw in a shitty night, and I went and got dressed, and got in my car. Thank god the manager didn't seem to care when I texted him today.
:O
Speechless.
BeautifulbutDeadly
11-23-2011, 11:30 AM
After sitting with table of guys with two other dancers, mama san asks guys if they will buy us ladies a drink. Response from one of the guys:
"Sorry my wife only gives me a certain allowance and I'm not allowed to spend it on HOOKERS."
luscious sadie
11-23-2011, 06:21 PM
you should have said "excellent! since we aren't hookers, I'll have..." and ordered your drinks.
JessicaCM
11-27-2011, 02:12 PM
I already posted stupid comments...but some of the most annoying:
1. Why are you doing this?
2. What do your parents think?
3. Got any kids?
4. Can I call/take you home?
5. Can I touch you in privates?
ravenblack
11-27-2011, 09:50 PM
"Your left areola is slightly larger than your right. It's not a problem though."
Uh, no dude, it certainly isn't. wtf?
lol did u breastfeed? cuz mine right is bigger and thats the side i fed from most
MissMynxx
11-30-2011, 06:55 AM
The customer comment that bugs me the most is when a guy or group of guys walk in, look around, and say, "Where are all the dudes?"
...Umm, pardon me, I wasn't aware guys came to a topless bar to see other dudes. I mean, I get it. They're asking why the club is dead, they want a party atmosphere, whatever. But at 7pm on a weekday, we do our best. There are 5 beautiful women waiting to chat with you and your buddies, but no. You wanna leave and go to a mega-club and feel like you're "partying". Y'all have fun with that. ::)
Also recently heard: While at work, in full hair and makeup and heels, dude says, "Honey, you ain't a stripper !! Stripper all got fake titties. and yours are too small to be fake. Now that," *points to thicker female customer with huge natural tits* "...is a stripper." This moron WALKED UP TO THE OBVIOUS CUSTOMER and tried to buy dances from her. The poor woman's boyfriend was NOT amused.
peachpretty
11-30-2011, 09:00 PM
OMG LOL!!! I hope her boyfriend knocked him out!
:rotfl:
MiaStarr
12-11-2011, 05:51 PM
Customer asked me: How can you be so nice to every guy? I've been watching you dance for some guys here and some of them aren't even good looking. :D Sigh.