Log in

View Full Version : Stupid Customer Comments



Pages : 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

SexyJess
10-04-2007, 11:16 AM
I walk up to a customer for a dance.

Him- 'WHOA WHOA WHOA, before you say anything I'd like you to know im looking for a sugarbaby. ugh, you look like your freakin 14 years old, but we can work around that. Id offer you ALOT baby, ok trust me...what do you say sweetie? You want someone to take you out of this life?

Me-Busts out laughing and walking away. I can tell he is total time waster.

Him-"baby *grabbing my hand*whoa whoa whoa come here and sit down and let me tell YOU the RULES of being my future sugarbaby..."

Me- ::) *gets my hand free, hits his hand for grabbing me*You are beyond ridiculous, but please go ahead with your BS. (he was the only customer in the club, i needed a laugh!)

Him- "OK so, the deal is, You come and live with me and i will pay alllll the rent, food, tv, etc. i will give you 200 a month for WHATEVER YOU WANT...and i get to fuck you whenever I want. You will also clean the house, clean my car, Bring my buddies beer when they come over..."

me- hahahahhahaha, OHHHH 200 a month & I get to be your housewife & whore?! please sign me up ASAP...You can bring that 200 for dances and thats that. have a lovely day ::) :D :D



A couple hours later, he gave me 40 bucks on stage before walking out. whatever. I bought groceries with that lol.

I had something kind of similar to this. I had just given a guy a couple of dances, and he turned to me and said, with a very serious look on his face...
"Listen. My wife... she don't like to fuck. I like you. How much would it be to.... say... keep you on call?"
I humored him... "On call? What do you mean?"
"Like, whenever I want to get laid, I call you, and you drop what you're doing and come fuck me. What would it be.... like, $200 a month?"

I couldn't help it. I laughed and laughed. Then I laughed some more. ;) Customers are so funny.

Crow2
10-04-2007, 06:23 PM
start adding zeros bub.. I'm easy, not cheap.

Alaska
11-09-2007, 03:47 AM
Okay, this one was just hilarious:


I'm on a dude's lap. His buddy walks past us, and stops to leer.

BUDDY: "WOW! Damn! I want that EXACT SAME dance!",

DUDE (to me, about his buddy): Yea, too bad you can't have the exact same cock!


Lmfao, he came out with it so quick, and he meant it in a sarcastic way bc he was slightly annoyed his buddy had to stop, look, and comment during his dance.

Love it!

Taylorlila
11-09-2007, 07:08 AM
Okay, this one was just hilarious:


I'm on a dude's lap. His buddy walks past us, and stops to leer.

BUDDY: "WOW! Damn! I want that EXACT SAME dance!",

DUDE (to me, about his buddy): Yea, too bad you can't have the exact same cock!


Lmfao, he came out with it so quick, and he meant it in a sarcastic way bc he was slightly annoyed his buddy had to stop, look, and comment during his dance.

Love it!
haha.

It was really slow and I sat o talk with this guy and he said something abiut how he worked for different comoanies, seeing how the new bussiness is running, and thats what he was doing for the new owners (an later he told another girl that he was getting something like 2,000 a day to do this, she asked why he wasn't spending money then). I mentioned something about it being slow, and he said thats good. I told him not so much when this is your job. He proceeds so say "Well it doesn't matter if you make money, you have a trust." /:O "All kids these days have trusts, you'll get it when your 28." I told him I know theres no trust, my family doesn't have money like that. "No your father set it up. At least 50 grand." Yup my father, who I have never met and is currently delivering pizza set up a 50,000 trust for me. I wish.

PrettyCurlieQ
11-09-2007, 07:13 AM
After telling me repeatedly how he wants to meet me in a hotel after the club closes, this guy holds my hand and looks me in the eye, "Don't worry, you can trust me. I'm married, with kids and everything, I'm a good guy!"

Yeah. Being married with kids and propositioning women in the SC makes you a stand up guy! ::)

Alaska
11-09-2007, 02:18 PM
He proceeds so say "Well it doesn't matter if you make money, you have a trust." /:O "All kids these days have trusts, you'll get it when your 28." I told him I know theres no trust, my family doesn't have money like that. "No your father set it up. At least 50 grand." Yup my father, who I have never met and is currently delivering pizza set up a 50,000 trust for me. I wish.

:yuck: :-\ That's terrible! Arrogant, ignorant assfuck! What planet do these people come from...go back there...

thetwodolphins
11-09-2007, 04:59 PM
I'm actually the one making the supid comment here, but eh, oh well, if you can't make fun of yourself, who can.

Stripper: Hi
Me: Hi, whats wrong...you look upset
Stripper: Those guys over there (points to them) told me that this club wasn't high class enough for them and that they're leaving, they said they make too much money for this kind of entertainment and didn't need my services.
Me: Those assholes! Some guys can be so pretentious
Stripper: Pretentious...what does that mean?
Me: Uh...I don't really know.
Stripper: .... ???
Me: I, uh, just thought it was some cold blooded shit to say, and no ones ever asked what me what it meant before, and i uh...so...so...how bout I buy you a drink?
Stripper: Okay!

:)

SundayMorning
11-09-2007, 05:21 PM
LOL! That's cute.

Alaska
11-09-2007, 06:26 PM
Hahaha that's really funny......but it's totally balanced out bc she asked you what it meant!! At least you said it right!

thetwodolphins
11-10-2007, 10:25 AM
Lol, yes I guess I did use it in the right way. And, I did kinda know what it meant (which is why I knew what context to use it in), but I wasn't so sure how to explain it in words. You know, I didnt want to tell the poor girl 'oh well it means those men are way too Boo-jee for thier own good' ;)

Ack, I'm a dork.


Hahaha that's really funny......but it's totally balanced out bc she asked you what it meant!! At least you said it right!

VegasPrincess
11-11-2007, 07:55 PM
I had a guy ask me if I was pregnant once. At the time I believe I weighed 102lbs. He was insisting that he knew I was pregnant. WTF?

Crow2
11-15-2007, 03:27 PM
Me: Would you like a dance sweetie?
Him: Well.. unnh.. My wife is in drug rehab and I'd feel really guilty for having another woman on my lap. But I do enjoy looking at you pretty ladies.

Me: * Blank stare and a "I'm really scared of you now" smile while walking away*

britt244
11-15-2007, 04:09 PM
me: what do you do? (after he tried to bargain dance prices, to make a point)
him: i can't tell you, i'll tell you after we dance.
we do 2 dances, and then i ask again.
him: i'm a cab driver.
me: so why didnt you want to tell me that til after we were done?
him: because then you would've expected 20 dances out of me.

um.. ok..

fancygirl
11-15-2007, 06:46 PM
a customer the other night offered a girl $600 to sleep with him.

'cept it was $600 A MONTH!

_Ariel_
11-15-2007, 06:50 PM
^^ l0l some random guy came up to me a week ago and pointent at me and said, You! Sex?

Needless to say I got him kicked out.

Taylorlila
11-16-2007, 10:37 AM
^^ l0l some random guy came up to me a week ago and pointent at me and said, You! Sex?

Needless to say I got him kicked out.

*this is not intended to be a racist remark, but we get lots of mexican's here that don't speak much english*

If I danced for a mexican guy I almost always got at least one "how much sex?" "you do sex?" "how much hotel?" and "me you sex?"

SundayMorning
11-16-2007, 10:39 AM
Me too! LOL. Not that that makes it right or nuthin....but it really is funny to me.
LOVE the new av, TL!

ViolaStrings
11-16-2007, 01:34 PM
A totally drunk guy I was sitting across from in the middle of the club reaches out and tries to grab my boobs. I grab his hands and say "You can't do that." He asks "Why?" I answer "Because you're not allowed to." He replies "Why, what happened to your boobs?"

StrawberrySwitchblade
11-16-2007, 01:48 PM
Me!: *dancing for some dude*
Dude: You know, if you don't use it often enough, you'll get too tight to ever use it again.
Me: *stops* Double-you tee eff?

Out of the blue.

fancygirl
11-16-2007, 06:13 PM
^yes but honey, your dick is too small so it wouldn't do me any good even IF I was going to take that ridiculous statement as truth.

Susan-Va
11-16-2007, 09:48 PM
I got this tonight.

"you're my type. You have all your teeth."

Taylorlila
11-17-2007, 08:20 AM
I got this tonight.

"you're my type. You have all your teeth."
hahaha. This reminds me of a story a girl I worked with was telling me.

She and her friend went to work in a strip club UP Maine. Now if you're not a Mainer, you haven't been UP Maine, or you aren't an avid Stephen King fan, you may not truely understand how /:O it is that there is actually a strip club wayyyyy the hell up there. I didn't think there were even enough people up there for a strip club to be worth it.

Anyhow, there are something like 3 dancers that work there, all old, and missing most of their teeth and had "the longest, flattest butt's I have ever seen", from what I was told. She said...

"A guy actually told me 'you have a purrdy mouth' and was serious. I thought that was just something you heard in the movies."

RC
11-17-2007, 08:50 AM
A totally drunk guy I was sitting across from in the middle of the club reaches out and tries to grab my boobs. I grab his hands and say "You can't do that." He asks "Why?" I answer "Because you're not allowed to." He replies "Why, what happened to your boobs?"

"Here's your sign!" ;D

Danielle_
11-17-2007, 11:48 AM
hahaha. This reminds me of a story a girl I worked with was telling me.

She and her friend went to work in a strip club UP Maine. Now if you're not a Mainer, you haven't been UP Maine, or you aren't an avid Stephen King fan, you may not truely understand how /:O it is that there is actually a strip club wayyyyy the hell up there. I didn't think there were even enough people up there for a strip club to be worth it.

Anyhow, there are something like 3 dancers that work there, all old, and missing most of their teeth and had "the longest, flattest butt's I have ever seen", from what I was told. She said...

"A guy actually told me 'you have a purrdy mouth' and was serious. I thought that was just something you heard in the movies."

I know someone who lives in North Carolina & he says purdy eyes often to women as a compliment.

ChristyWild
11-17-2007, 03:41 PM
oooh oooh, I just got one just last night that I can add to this thread. I come up to this group of four guys and they're trying to convince one of their own that this club isn't as bad as he thinks, so I go over to help out. He takes one sniff- yes *sniff* and tells me "Man, you smell better than cocaine!" /:O :O /:O

RC
11-17-2007, 05:38 PM
^^^ In near relation. I had a guy who came in to see me for about 6 weeks. One day we're on our second or third song when he says "Oh my god your so hot! You're the only girl that can get me hard when I'm on the coke." :O

Lysondra
11-18-2007, 12:17 AM
*while I was doing bikini raffles at a pub* "Oh wow! What made you decide to come here dressed like that?!"

Uh... they pay me to?

Yekhefah
11-18-2007, 09:40 AM
Last night takes the cake, I think. I chatted up this weird-looking fat guy with long curly hair and glasses, and then I popped the dance question. His response:

Him: "Oh, no, I don't do lapdances."
Me: "Ah, too bad. Well, let me know when you're ready!" (squeeze his knee, go to leave)
Him: "Wait. Do you have hepatitis C?"
Me: /:O "I'm sorry?"
Him: "Do you have hepatitis C?"
Me: (laughing) "No, I do not."
Him: "Oh. I'm pretty sure I smell liver disease on you. Must be drinking too much, huh?"
Me: "Uhh, no."
Him: "Well, you should definitely get checked out. You smell like you have liver disease."

FTR, I was complimented on my nice smell by everyone I danced for last night, so evidently liver disease is a pleasant smell. ::)

leogirl876
11-18-2007, 12:09 PM
A week ago I did a couple dances for this drunk, obnoxious group of guys who were there for a bachelor party. (BTW, my lease favorite type to dance for but I needed the money). Anyway, they were doing the typical thing, asking me to go back to their hotel room to hang out with them. But the kicker is, they said "Oh, we're not going to pay you, we just want some hot girls to come back to our hotel room and drink beer with us". Sure, I'm going to come back to your hotel room to drink beer with you for free! I wouldn't go back with them even if they were paying me but the fact that they couldn't understand why I wouldn't go to their hotel room and drink beer with them FOR FREE!!! Ugh, yeah, I'm so desperate for free and so lonely that I want to hang out with a bunch of obnoxious losers. The guy that was asking me said to me "What, you think your pussy is so special that you have to put a price tag on it?" I said "your damn right and btw, I don't sell my pussy and even if I did, you sure as hell couldn't afford it nor are you worthy of it!!!" I started walking away and he started following me yelling all sorts of shit to me. I turned around and said "You better get the hell away from me right now or you see that big guy over there, let's just say you don't want to mess with him". He took the hint and walked away! Ughh, I hate bachelor parties!

A few weeks ago I was doing a VIP with this idiot, disrespectful fatass. We did an hour and a half in VIP and when there was about 20 min left I really had to go to the bathroom.
Me: "Excuse me for a second, I need to use the ladies room"
Him: "Well, this is going to count against our minutes, is it?"
Me: "well, considering you've gone to the men's room 3 times and I didn't count that time against you, I'd say, we're way more than even considering you've gotten extra time"
Him: No response there!

Then I had to call him and have him return the next night because he didn't pay the full amount for the room and didn't tip the waitress so I had to deal with that afterwards which cost me a lot of time in dances and had to make up the difference. The difference in the room & waitress tip was $20 but I told him I had to pay the waitress $60 (basically since I had all that BS to deal with, I lost out on several dances at the end of the night) To my surprise, he came back and paid me the $60. After he paid me he said he was just going to hang out at the bar that night, so I said ok. Well, shortly afterwards I found a customer and we went back to VIP. On our way to the VIP room we passed Mr. Fatass and he said to me as I was walking past him "You're not cheating on me, are you?" ::)

Picaresque
11-18-2007, 08:38 PM
customer blurts out completely randomly, in the middle of a lapdance: "I'll pay for you to get a nose job if you have sex with me!" /:O

another customer, another club, another night: "I bet you don't make very much money here."
me: "excuse me? /:O "
customer: "Most men don't like big women. I'd say you need to lose a good 25 pounds; then you might get more business."
me: *getting up to walk away, resisting the urge to kick his ass-ugly face in*
customer: "aw don't be like that. I'm trying to help! Where are you going? I wanted to get a dance with you!"

wtf? Telling me I'm too fat to make money and then asking for a dance? I wouldn't have given him a dance at that point even if he was offering me a thousand-dollar bill!

Crow2
11-19-2007, 06:10 AM
It's bad enough when the customers do stupid douchbaggery things but this took the cake..

I'm on stage, doing what I do - kneeling down to take some tips from a random guy who has one of my co-workers sitting with him. he's feeding me ones and she says " make her work for it".. Umm, okay bitch, What?

He says something back that I don't catch and he's still giving me ones and this cunt says again.. " yeah, you should make her work for it!"

What. The. Fuck.

RC
11-19-2007, 09:08 AM
^^^ I woulda scratched her eyeballs out!

hearts
11-22-2007, 12:47 AM
I had a real "douche attack" the other night. I walk up to two guys at a table, and start talking, being very friendly. One of them smiled and chatted back, the other was quiet. So, I turned to the quiet one and said "..and how are you? Having fun?"
He looks me up and down and says "YOu're almost cute."
I just left. Later the friendly one tipped me on stage.

colleen
11-22-2007, 03:31 AM
One guy says, "I don't want any dances. Is that OK with you?"

Um, NO!

The guy next to him says, "Well, are you dances any good?"

Nah, man, my dances SUCK! Wanna see?

NewMoon
11-23-2007, 04:34 AM
"If your dad walks in here, I'll tell him I made you do it so he doesn't get mad at you."

CallMeSky
11-24-2007, 09:07 PM
The guy next to him says, "Well, are you dances any good?"

Nah, man, my dances SUCK! Wanna see?

IMFG - I hate it when they ask that! Or, "is VIP worth it?"

Lysondra
11-25-2007, 11:34 PM
"Will you have dinner with me tomorrow?" A stupid question from my new boy because hell yeah, I would.

omg sappy

Habinairo
11-27-2007, 09:11 AM
"Do you like doing the devil's work?"

Me: "Do you enjoy participating in the devils' work?"

silence.

Me:" Good we're even, now go to confession and wash yourself of this evil disease!!"

RoseLeigh
11-27-2007, 12:33 PM
"Do you like doing the devil's work?"

Me: "Do you enjoy participating in the devils' work?"

silence.

Me:" Good we're even, now go to confession and wash yourself of this evil disease!!"

Oh, that's just awesome. :10:

Habinairo
11-28-2007, 09:04 AM
I sit down with a custy, with my water. I don't drink and normally guys think that's fine. While I was on stage he kept telling me that these other guys don't appreciate my beauty on and on, then asks if he can buy me a drink. I say no thank you, I'm fine with my water
He then asks me, you don't drink? I say no. He says then, I can't buy a dance from you if you don't drink. I got up and left.
Seriously, does he really think that if he gets me drunk at 2 in the afternoon that I'm going to what, go home with him?? WTF?

Alaska
11-28-2007, 09:07 AM
^ewww major freakin PL. Ewww again!

Crow2
11-28-2007, 09:39 AM
I'm on stage ( it always happens while I'm on stage, go figure ) I am entertaining a guy, getting some tips. This little person starts yelling " Show that pussy".. I ignore it and wait until I'm done. I get the little person in a corner and say to him because at this point and time my bullshit meter is on overload " Look here you little skid-mark.. I don't have to show you shit. So fuck you"

He monologues this tirade of why I work here and then asks me what sort of car I drive.


Okay dude.. your obviously stupid. * eye roll *

saphire123456
11-28-2007, 09:50 AM
him:.....well, i gues that makes me a cynisist...
me: huh?
him: you know, a cynisist, a person thats cynical
me: ! you mean a cynic?
him: no, a cynisist

oh, i laughed so hard, in his face....(its ok, he still gave me $$$ after that)

Brooke
11-28-2007, 11:54 AM
I haven't worked at a club in a long time so most of the stupid comments are a distant memory. But a few were good enough to stick out over time...

One guy would get really hammered and come up to my stage and offer to teach me to suck cock. Not HIS cock, mind you - he didn't mean teach me the way he likes it. He was (by his own estimation) sooooo good at sucking dick that he thought he was doing the world a service by passing along his skills to the rest of us.

Another was the guy who, about 30 seconds after we started talking, asked if I was into incest. Completely dismayed I said that no I was not. I wanted to get up and leave right then, but morbid curiousity got the best of me. I asked, was he? Yes, of course he was. And he went so far as to tell me that he had sex with one member of his family, but despite my prying he refused to state which one. When he wanted to know about the make-up of my family I left. (Ew was he gonna fantasize about me fucking my family members??? Too gross to think about.) The whole conversation was about 3 minutes long, but it must have been longer than he normally gets because ever after he made creepy boyish looks at me when I was on stage and tried to buy me drinks. Maybe he mistook the train wreck factor for geniune interest. Yuck.

And this was a true gem of a man: he tried to convince me that I should whore myself for him because his child was sick (I don't remember specifically, but like cancer, not the flu) and his wife was too busy taking care of the kid to have sex with him. Well in that case, how could I refuse to bend my own morals for such a deserving individual...

Ariellecunt
12-02-2007, 11:18 AM
u mqkin money tonight........uhhhhhhhhhhhh none of ur fuckin business f***** loser why dont u shut the f*** up and give me more and stop asking stupid questions

Alaska
12-02-2007, 11:23 AM
These aren't so bad but funny:

"You are memorizing. Just memorizing." (Yes I leaned in close to be %100 sure.) :rotfl:

"I would treat you as a million bucks. I would treat you as a million bucks." (I dunno, just thought it was "like")

britt244
12-02-2007, 01:54 PM
last night at the beginning of the night i danced for this guy who kept asking me to cum with him. we did 7 dances, at $30 apiece. afterwards he goes, "you just made $200. thats your whole night. how many other girls are going to come back here and make that money?"

MinahSky
12-02-2007, 02:54 PM
last night at the beginning of the night i danced for this guy who kept asking me to cum with him. we did 7 dances, at $30 apiece. afterwards he goes, "you just made $200. thats your whole night. how many other girls are going to come back here and make that money?"

I would have told him that I just made $210, not $200 and that he should go take a refresher math course...and a business course to go with it.

Oh, and after some preemie sprayed his shorts during a dance he had the gall to say to me: "I bet you love your job, huh?"

britt244
12-02-2007, 02:57 PM
haha not to mention the fact that he was so convinced that he just made my whole night! "noooo other girl is going to make that much! no other guy is going to spent that much!" yeah ok buddy.

thats funny though, he wouldnt give me that extra 10 and i had to get the bouncer to get it.

CallMeSky
12-03-2007, 03:54 AM
Prick : "So, how long have you been dancing?"

Me : "6 years , started at 18".

Prick : "Damn, you must have some MAJOR issues to start dancing at 18! What went wrong with your childhood?"