View Full Version : Stupid Customer Comments
Yekhefah
12-03-2007, 07:04 AM
^^^ That's the type that gets off on hearing about what messed-up victims we are. He wanted stories about your fucked-up childhood and might even have paid for some. I indulge those guys every once in awhile. I guess it's not any worse than watching "Special Victims' Unit."
Dottie Rebel
12-06-2007, 04:31 PM
The other night.
Customer: You have a degree? What's it in?
Me: Gender Studies
Customer: Oh, general studies is great! That's nothing to be ashamed of. That's a usesful blah, blah, blah...
Me: No, GENDER studies
Customer: *blinks* What the fuck is that?
zxcire
12-06-2007, 04:34 PM
"You're the most like natural beauty here. All these other chicks have on so much makeup and fake hair and fake nails and bla bla bla."
Men are so clueless. I spend an hour in the morning putting on my fake hair and nails and eyelashes. Sure it's fucking natural.
Susan Wayward
12-06-2007, 04:39 PM
Customer: *blinks* What the fuck is that?ahahhaha. Did you explain?
Younger dude in Montana;
"So when you meet some guy here who's totally hot, and, you just want to do him, do you drag him back to the dressing room or what?"
I couldn't speak for thirty seconds for fear of laughing so hard I couldn't stop.
Corey
12-06-2007, 08:56 PM
Just last week from a guy who tipped well on stage:
"So how does it feel to be the prettiest girl in the club with the smallest tits'?
Me: 'According to you, I'm the prettiest girl in the club. My tits shouldn't make a difference'.
NewMoon
12-08-2007, 05:39 PM
"Your nipples looked better on stage. They look different now."
Ummm....... my nipples were erect/hard on stage and not anymore. Do you not know how a girl's body works?
britt244
12-09-2007, 08:30 AM
i dont know if i posted this when it happened but if so, sorry!
"how do i know if you'll give a good lap dance if you dont go on stage and climb the pole?"
:O because at my club you dont have to go on stage if youre busy selling dances. so i rarely do. and climbing the pole=giving a good lap dance as we all know ::)
MostOutOfLife
12-09-2007, 10:16 AM
Him:"I usually don't like black girls. The ones that have the big huge butts."
Me*silent blank stare*
The return of the backhanded compliment. I'm not even sure he knew what he was saying.
Sometimes I get the old "You are the prettiest colored girl I have ever seen"
Colored? Do I look like I came out of a box of Crayola crayons mutherfucker?
StrawberrySwitchblade
12-09-2007, 10:55 AM
"I don't believe in paying for pleasure unless I get the 'real deal."
I laughed so hard in his face. His friend looked terribly embarrassed.
Lysondra
12-09-2007, 06:00 PM
"Wow, you're really intellect aren't you?!"
I'm...really...intellect?
iambonbon05
12-13-2007, 12:13 AM
Today I was told that my 20 year old pussy looks like a 15 year old's.
... creeper.
Habinairo
12-13-2007, 01:43 AM
^^^ EW!!!
cameron_keys
12-13-2007, 01:46 AM
"I already know everything about you..I saw you naked"
Oh RIGHT...I forgot...my life falls out of my crotch when I take my clothes off.
paintgoddess
12-13-2007, 03:31 AM
^^^Damn, Cameron... that is incredibly quotable!!
Just tonight:
Damn, you're TALL!!! You must have some Anglo-Saxon in you. Are you sure you're Italian? Because they don't make very tall women. You are taller than my grandpa, and he's an Anglo. That's how I know you must have some Anglo in you.... :O
Crow2
12-13-2007, 03:38 AM
^^^Damn, Cameron... that is incredibly quotable!!
Just tonight:
Damn, you're TALL!!! You must have some Anglo-Saxon in you. Are you sure you're Italian? Because they don't make very tall women. You are taller than my grandpa, and he's an Anglo. That's how I know you must have some Anglo in you.... :O
I get that too, plus " Are you Swedish?" No you dumb douch I'm all Mic baby and fookin' proud of it.
I got this lovely little gem of an action.. Man is going on and on about how hot I am. So, he tries to be smooth and slide me his room key wrapped in THREE DOLLAR BILLS. Nice. THEN he tries to talk me into it
Assmunch, what part of NO did you not get?
Of course he wanted no LD's.. yeeeeeah right!
paintgoddess
12-13-2007, 03:49 AM
^^Heh heh. We need a new thread: Unsolicited, hush-hush gifts from strangers.... Thanks, smooth guy!
NewMoon
12-15-2007, 06:50 AM
"I bet your ex-boyfriends really enjoyed you."
ummm........ thanks?
Alaska
12-15-2007, 05:10 PM
"I would lick you up like a bowl of milk."
"I would be all over you like flies on shit". (Me = THAT's hot.::) )
hearts
12-15-2007, 07:04 PM
On Wednesday night...
Me: Hi there, what's your name?
Him: They call me Mac. Hey, let me see your tits. (This is at the bar, on the floor.)
Me: Well, Mac...you just come and get a dance from me and I'll see what I can do...(wink and giggle)
Him: No really, let me see them now.
Me: Oh Mac, honey, you really are a loser aren't you? (walked away laughing)
Sure enough, I saw being escorted out of the club five minutes later. He must of pissed off a girl with a shorter temper than me!
LittleMissy
12-15-2007, 11:33 PM
hello girls. I'm new - Love this forum btw~!!
Talking to a custie & he says "I don't respect girls like you b/c you work here"
Me. "??????? I know how you feel. You completely deserve the respect b/c your the type of guy that comes here to ask for entertainment. Nice..."
NewMoon
12-15-2007, 11:46 PM
Nice, LittleMissy!! You sure put him in his place =oD
LittleMissy
12-16-2007, 12:20 AM
Nice, LittleMissy!! You sure put him in his place =oD
hahah I was suprised I even said that to someone. /:O But I'm just so offended when guys come in to these places and treat other people like they don't have feelings!
Apparently - That guy said that to almost every girl that walked by him. What is wrong with these people?! >:(
We all had a big discussion & laughed about him in the back that night. :D
ellebelle
12-16-2007, 02:05 AM
Not so much stupid as mystifying, but I was standing out the front of work having a cig, and this car with a few guy drove past:
Guy 1: I like your dress
Guy 2: I got something for you to smoke, baby
..
Guy 3: Are you Timberlands girlfriend?
.. ?
This reaaaaaaally confused me. Was it meant to confuse me? Also this is in Australia.. not exactly a hotspot for Timberland spottings. Is it an insult I don't get?
Lysondra
12-16-2007, 04:28 AM
*googles Timbaland's girlfriend*
http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/monique-idlett_179x295.jpg
Hoooly shit. I'd take that as an insult.
ellebelle
12-16-2007, 04:36 AM
^^^ Ok I know it's been a while since you've seen me.. but ah..
I'm about as caucation as you can get.. 5'10, blond hair to my butt, blue eyes, spray tanned to the nines..
I'm still confused.. :-[
Lysondra
12-16-2007, 05:02 AM
^^^ Ok I know it's been a while since you've seen me.. but ah..
I'm about as caucation as you can get.. 5'10, blond hair to my butt, blue eyes, spray tanned to the nines..
I'm still confused.. :-[
I know! I saw you in the city the other day, remember?
Which is why I was making a smartass joke. You OBVIOUSLY look nothin like her. ;)
..but I'd take looking like her to be an insult.o.O;
CallMeSky
12-16-2007, 06:20 AM
after dancing for a grabby old mexican, pushing him off my tits 1,000 times . . .
"okay, now you give me address and I came over for date tomorrow"
um...fuck no?
told him i was married, and guess what? it's not a problem with him, becouse he is too.
well then - that changes everything!
NewMoon
12-16-2007, 07:36 AM
That is hilarious, CallMeSky!!!
ViolaStrings
12-16-2007, 02:34 PM
Last night a guy asked for a refund after a $10 table dance because he did't like the song that was being played.
TheTempest
12-19-2007, 04:29 PM
Great thread!
Me, after being pulled by a custie onto his lap and playing it off with a giggle: Hey there! How would you like a dance? It's sort of like this only it's in the back and I'm naked!
Custie: How much?
Me: Twenty.
Custie: For everything?
Me: For a dance.
Custie: Fifty bucks for everything?
Me, rolling my eyes and getting up: We don't do that here. Ask again and you're going to have to leave.
Customer grabs my arm while I'm taking another customer into the lapdance room: Come talk to me when you're done.
Me, smiling and seeing another dance lining up after this one: OK!
Me, later: Hey honey, you want to dance?
Customer: Hey baby, what's your number? What's your MySpace?
Me: I can't give that out. I don't date customers.
Customer: So how am I supposed to holla at you?
Apparently he asked every girl that same question that night. What's your MYSPACE? That's slick.
Taylorlila
12-20-2007, 07:59 AM
Customer grabs my arm while I'm taking another customer into the lapdance room: Come talk to me when you're done.
Me, smiling and seeing another dance lining up after this one: OK!
Me, later: Hey honey, you want to dance?
Customer: Hey baby, what's your number? What's your MySpace?
Me: I can't give that out. I don't date customers.
Customer: So how am I supposed to holla at you?
Apparently he asked every girl that same question that night. What's your MYSPACE? That's slick.
that reminds me of the guy that wouldn't get a dance with me because I wouldn't give him my number. "Oh you can dance for me but I can't holla at you?" um. yup. pretty much.
Polekitten
12-20-2007, 09:12 AM
Custy - "Do you like me?"
Me - "Yeah, you seem like a nice guy."
Custy - "Yeah but do you like me?"
Me - "Well, like I said, you seem nice enough. We've only just met so I can't comment too much."
Custy - "Do you want to dance for me?"
Me - "Of course! lets go!"
Custy - " But do you like me? I only want to have a dance if I know you really like me. I'm fed up with these strippers who only care about the money., I want you to really like me."
Me - "Er, well, like I said, you seem nice but we've only met, I don't even know your name, lets go for a dance and get to know each other better."
Custy - " But do you really like me?"
Me - "Your weird." Walks away.
WTF? If I only danced for people I only really genuinely liked, I'd be broke!
Lysondra
12-21-2007, 07:21 PM
Last night, "Man! I could lock you up and keep you in a basement for a week!"
...wtf? THAT'S a pickup line?
TheTempest
12-21-2007, 08:06 PM
Last night, "Man! I could lock you up and keep you in a basement for a week!"
...wtf? THAT'S a pickup line?
That's a pick up line for serial killers. :(
Lysondra
12-21-2007, 08:23 PM
It was creepy and the guy was missing two front teeth. o.O;;;
cameron_keys
12-22-2007, 02:48 AM
"Why dont you come home with me and be my Christmas present?"
Heard that about 90000000 times tonight. I was seriously thisclose to just going around randomly tasering people.
Taylorlila
12-22-2007, 10:58 AM
This isn't one comment per se....but a comment that often happens. I love when guys say "all you girls have a price" or "i know you all come here for the money" like its some profound realization. Like they are the ONLY guy thats ever know the big secret. Strippers WORK for MONEY...we're not just hanging out half naked for shits and giggles. I got one of those last night. He used to be a bouncer at a "place like this" so he "knew all the secrets" lolz.
DeluxxeIt
12-22-2007, 11:51 AM
custie: your colored?
me: uh i think so...
custie: your a pretty colored!
all i could do was laugh. But i have lots more stories
Crow2
12-22-2007, 12:38 PM
I had one guy tell me ( and Yek will die as she speaks redneck ) " You are hotter than a three balled tomcat"
Er.. Thanks. I think.
Yekhefah
12-22-2007, 12:57 PM
^^^ :rotfl:
NewMoon
12-23-2007, 07:51 AM
Not exactly a comment but some asshole spent $160 to spend 24 minutes trying to convince me to go to a hotel with him. I just explained over and over that I was not a prostitute and no I wouldn't go with him while billing him $20 per 3 minutes to do so :D
Habinairo
12-23-2007, 01:28 PM
^^^ I just did the same thing!!! BUT he came in again the next day for the same reason and my answer is still no!! Whatever, he's too dumb to realise he just lost $400 in 2 days to "help me with my new apt". Thanks dude, I still won't have sex with you, come see me in the new year!!!
NewMoon
12-23-2007, 01:53 PM
That is awesome!! I hope mine shows up again lol
holiday
12-23-2007, 02:50 PM
A loser customer had been trying to get my attention all night, but even just by looking at him I could tell he wasn't worth the time. He was that type who tries to dress up like he's all rich, in a suit and everything, but isn't spending a cent. He's standing at the bar working his zoolander impersonation. So after a while I'm up on stage for a set and he's all excited because he can finally get my attention, so he sits at my rack and keeps making attempts at conversation.
I'm wearing a sparkly snowflake necklace. "oooh, your name should be snowflake because you're so beautiful baby".
Then as I'm picking up my tips at the end, "Hey, I just need to ask you one little question sweetheart" Me, "what?" "I bet I can guess your height and weight." I am just dying inside, because this is so retarded and he is thinking he is coming off like the slickest cat ever, when he is sounding like the biggest nerd, "I'm going to say you're 5'2" and 112 pounds" I paused for a second because I was going to correct him, but I figured it'd be best to not engage him anymore so I just smiled and said, "Yep." and left.
Then I'm sitting with a custy about to go do dances and he comes up to us and says, "excuse me. Sorry to interrupt" (again he's trying at this suave, mysterious thing and it is really annoying) "but, when I guessed your weight and you paused....the other number you were thinking was 111." Then he does this walking backwards think while locking eyes with me, like he has just BLOWN MY MIND.
It wasn't the stupidest thing a customers ever said to me, but over all, his demeanor was hilariously ridiculous to me.
SundayMorning
12-23-2007, 04:23 PM
Sounds very PUA to me...ooooh he opened a set with you! He's the bee's knees!
RoseLeigh
12-23-2007, 04:32 PM
Sounds very PUA to me...ooooh he opened a set with you! He's the bee's knees!
I love these custies some days. I just start saying crazy stuff to them.
Polekitten
12-23-2007, 04:39 PM
We have a call from the DJ when its the lst dance of the night to give ou a chance to go round and get one more. Quite often I'll go round saying, "Hey honey, would you lke te last dance?" Only for the custy to go, "I'll have one but just come back in 10 mins." When I try and explain that we're closing and this is the last chance for a dance its like they don't get it. They're still sitting there saying, "Ok, come back in 10" Are you deaf? I said we're closing!!!
hearts
12-24-2007, 02:36 AM
Him: Hey! I gave you three dollars already, let's see yer cooter!
Me: You're single, aren't you?
Him: Uh, yeah. So?
The other guys at my rack were cracking up with laughter, but he just didn't get the joke.
Taylorlila
12-27-2007, 11:07 AM
Giving a dance to this guy.
him: when its slow like this don't you girls just want to leave and party?
me: well we don't have a choice, when there are only a few girls here we can't leave.
him:well you can come party with me after.
me:i have a long drive home.
him:you don't have to go home.
m:well i have a dog at home that needs to be fed.
him: Ill be your dog.
Because that will get the dog fed and all...
Crow2
12-27-2007, 12:12 PM
Me: Would you like a dance sweethheart?
Him: (Flustered) Oh no, I'm all tapped out.
I roll my eyes and walk away and my next stage set the "all tapped out" guy is tipping. Unhuh. Ooookay.