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dangerousdiva
01-26-2008, 11:17 PM
Walking by to make one last round before I leave. The club is packed, guy shoots out of his seat and grabs my arm:

Him: Thank God, will you save my seat while I go to the bathroom?

Me: Sure, for a $100

Him: (dumbfounded) Seriously?

I laugh and walk off

ViolaStrings
01-27-2008, 09:17 AM
Walking by to make one last round before I leave. The club is packed, guy shoots out of his seat and grabs my arm:

Him: Thank God, will you save my seat while I go to the bathroom?

Me: Sure, for a $100

Him: (dumbfounded) Seriously?

I laugh and walk off

I hate how guys think we're customer service reps. I've sat down with guys before, asked for a dance, and they say no. That's cool, but then they say "I'm waiting for Dancer X - could you go look around for her for me?" FUCK NO YOU FUCKING ASSCLOWN. You reject me and then you want me to waste my precious money making time looking around for the girl you'd prefer? EAT MY FARTS.

Alaska
01-29-2008, 07:04 PM
I'm chatting with a dude about yea, this club reopened a few months ago...totally revamped, new owners, beautiful, hot girls, etc.





Him: Yea the old Chapter 2 was so dirty I wanted to take a shower the minute I walked in the door!

Me: Wow. Someone told me yesterday they had a girl who was 9 months pregnant dancing!

(we go on BSing about other stuff)

Him, out of the blue 3 mins. later: So, boy or girl?

Me: WWWWWTF??

Him (Dead serious): Oh! I thought you said you were 9 months pregnant!

Me: Do I look like I have ANY kids at all?!?!?! (I really don't. At all.)

Him: No! I just misunderstood you.

Me: So you wouldn't have even cared if I told you I WAS 9 month pregnant?:O :O :O

Him: Nah!

Oh my freakin god. So we go on, talking about poker, and I'm like yea, poker, not pampers!!!

beauty21queen
01-29-2008, 10:47 PM
I walked by a group of women customers walking in and then one screams "ahh omg a hooker!" stupid bitch "stripper not hooker!" I wanted to trow my shoe at her.

CherryBomb954
01-30-2008, 12:09 PM
Walk up to a guy, pitch my best hustle for a dance:
Guy: (looks me up and down with a dissaproving scowl) "Maybe, but first I want you to sit and tell me what each one of your tattoos mean, and why you got them" (for free, of course. This would take at least 3 songs or so)
Me, still in hustle mode: "Aww, come on, let's not talk about me. I'm here for you. to make you feel good. You want me to get naked for you now?"
Guy: "NO. I want to know about your tattoos. Too many people get tattoos for dumb reasons and I want to make sure you aren't that kind of girl. Come on, tell me. Then I'll get a dance. I mean, if I am paying for the dance, then I should get what I want right? I'm the customer. The cutomer is always right!"
Me: "Ok, dude. This has become ridiculous. See ya later"
Guy: "Yeah, yeah, whatever (waving his hand at me in the "shooing away" motion)
The customer is always right? What are we at a goddamn restaurant? Who breaks out that line at a strip club? It was like a bad flashback to my days of waiting tables. I wasn't getting any money out of that guy. The energy was bad from the start. I think he was what we call a "Troll" here on SW. Guys that sit there and fuck with girls all night just to see what kind of response they can get. I've seen it before. Walking, talking, in the flesh strip club TROLL!!!

ViolaStrings
01-30-2008, 01:10 PM
^OMG the only reason I regret some of my tattoos are the stupid questions I get at work EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. Every single guy asks me what my tattoos "mean". I'm like "IT'S A GODDAMN PICTURE! YOU WANT TO ANALYZE ME LIKE A RENNAISSANCE PAINTING WTF THIS IS A TITTY BAR"

rant over

ViolaStrings
01-30-2008, 01:12 PM
Last night I had a guy in VIP and he kept telling me that I know I'm hot, "come on, you know you're hot", and how I know I have power and I milk guys. I hadn't talked to this guy for longer than 5 minutes before he assumed this, and the conversation was only about things like background and hobbies.

He kept telling me to find a rich guy to marry and get out of dancing. Yea, because I totally want a boss, not a boyfriend.

BTW - this is also the "ripping ass in VIP" guy.

MissAlethea
01-30-2008, 03:44 PM
Along the lines of the tattoos, I ALWAYS get "Wow, did it hurt to get your nipples pierced?"
No, you fuckwit, having a 12 gauge needle shoved slowly through dense, fibrous and sensitive tissue, then having a plug of said tissue removed and steel rings pliered into place in the fresh wound is downright ticklish! WTF do you think??
(Of course, now that they're healed, I loooooooove them ;D)

Lysondra
01-30-2008, 03:53 PM
Along the lines of the tattoos, I ALWAYS get "Wow, did it hurt to get your nipples pierced?"
No, you fuckwit, having a 12 gauge needle shoved slowly through dense, fibrous and sensitive tissue, then having a plug of said tissue removed and steel rings pliered into place in the fresh wound is downright ticklish! WTF do you think??
(Of course, now that they're healed, I loooooooove them ;D)

I get that. All. The. Fucking. Time.

I even reply with pretty much what you said. It's getting so old.

michele_b
01-30-2008, 03:55 PM
Along the lines of the tattoos, I ALWAYS get "Wow, did it hurt to get your nipples pierced?"
No, you fuckwit, having a 12 gauge needle shoved slowly through dense, fibrous and sensitive tissue, then having a plug of said tissue removed and steel rings pliered into place in the fresh wound is downright ticklish! WTF do you think??
(Of course, now that they're healed, I loooooooove them ;D)

I got asked this ATLEAST once a day. I told them no, it didn't hurt, lol. It didn't really hurt that bad but of course there was still pain.

Alaska
01-30-2008, 04:41 PM
I get that all the time with my nipples too. Pretty much any piercing, they're prob just looking for ways to strike up a conversation.::)


I always tell them how it didn't hurt my friend, even tho her nipples are bigger (which is true) but mine have always been sooooo sensitivvvvve so now they rock. Agreed it's getting old but will never go away!!! They always do this at my stage too which is annoying.

michele_b
01-30-2008, 04:47 PM
I get that all the time with my nipples too. Pretty much any piercing, they're prob just looking for ways to strike up a conversation.::)


I always tell them how it didn't hurt my friend, even tho her nipples are bigger (which is true) but mine have always been sooooo sensitivvvvve so now they rock. Agreed it's getting old but will never go away!!! They always do this at my stage too which is annoying.

I have really big nipples too so that is why mine didn't hurt that much either. My boyfriend had tiny nipples before he got his pierced and he sad it was excruciating pain for him, they had to go under the skin to pierce his :ouch:

Alaska
01-30-2008, 04:52 PM
Owwww holy shit, under the skin??? My friend's nips weren't sensitive sexually before either, but now they are! Mine are too sensitive--I can only tolerate licking. Gonna take them out in a year probably.

michele_b
01-30-2008, 05:02 PM
Yep, under the skin. I love my piercings, my nipples weren't sensitive at all before I got them pierced. Now, I love it, they are very sensitive. I can almost have an orgasm by just having them played with the right way. I love it ;D

LilyLove
01-30-2008, 11:50 PM
Wow, its good to read that other girls get constantly harassed about their nipple piercings too! I too get it at least once a night. I've finally come up with a short n' sweet response. I tell them, yeah, it hurt but it was a rush. And now they're just soooo sensitive *giggle* It gets them back into a sexual state of mind.

Taylorlila
01-31-2008, 11:22 AM
Wow, its good to read that other girls get constantly harassed about their nipple piercings too! I too get it at least once a night. I've finally come up with a short n' sweet response. I tell them, yeah, it hurt but it was a rush. And now they're just soooo sensitive *giggle* It gets them back into a sexual state of mind.


OH.MY.GOD.

Guys ask me this all the time and I really just want to say "gee I dunno why don't I take my handy dandy needle and shove it through your nipple and you can tell me if it hurts!" No duh asshole. And they always ask when I'm on stage and I'm trying to make money too.

PhillyDancer1982
01-31-2008, 11:45 AM
I hate how guys think we're customer service reps. I've sat down with guys before, asked for a dance, and they say no. That's cool, but then they say "I'm waiting for Dancer X - could you go look around for her for me?" FUCK NO YOU FUCKING ASSCLOWN. You reject me and then you want me to waste my precious money making time looking around for the girl you'd prefer? EAT MY FARTS.

Yeah I don't like when customers do that either. Very early in my dancing days, I DID play the role of customer service rep for them. This is probably because I had worked so many goddam customer service oriented jobs(fast food, cashier, retail, food service, telemarketing, etc), that I was used to making extra accomodations despite no extra pay or incentive. But as time went on, I got really impatient with guys expecting me to do shit like this...especially since I started to wonder if maybe accomodating these non-tipping(to me at least) guys was going to encourage them to always "use" me to do things like this and not have to tip me(the whole "doormat theory")...and yes, I agree that it is VERY annoying when they expect you to go look for someone else after you've been rejected!

PhillyDancer1982
01-31-2008, 11:49 AM
I get that all the time with my nipples too. Pretty much any piercing, they're prob just looking for ways to strike up a conversation.::)


I always tell them how it didn't hurt my friend, even tho her nipples are bigger (which is true) but mine have always been sooooo sensitivvvvve so now they rock. Agreed it's getting old but will never go away!!! They always do this at my stage too which is annoying.

Here's a dumb line a customer or two said before. When I first started dancing, I hadn't gotten my boob job yet and I still had a nipple piercing(I took it out pre-surgery and never put it back in). This was back when the Philly topless clubs enforced wearing pasties. We had to wear those gay-ass dumb round band-aids as pasties over our nipples so I had my pierced nipple covered up. A customer asked me if the nipple ring wasn't a real piercing, but just "taped" onto my nipple with the pastie/band-aid. Ohhh yeah like I'd be dorky enough to do that! As if I looked like the type that wanted the look of a nipple ring but couldn't endure the pain of actually getting it pierced! WTF?

CherryBomb954
01-31-2008, 03:43 PM
A customer asked me if the nipple ring wasn't a real piercing, but just "taped" onto my nipple with the pastie/band-aid. Ohhh yeah like I'd be dorky enough to do that! As if I looked like the type that wanted the look of a nipple ring but couldn't endure the pain of actually getting it pierced! WTF?

Haha! That reminds me...I have actually had people ask if my tattoos were real!
Then there's my anchor and skull tattoo, that I constantly get the question
"So, did you get that done because of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie???"

CherryBomb954
01-31-2008, 03:48 PM
Another great one I forgot about:
Around the beginning of December I changed my haircolor to a really bright red. How many times did I hear "So, did you dye your hair red for Christmas?"
I got so fed up with it, that one time a guy asked me and I replied "NO! I didn't! I don't celebrate Christmas anyway! I'm an atheist!" I'm not an atheist but I was just so annoyed I felt like lashing out on someone. Ya know when things start to get to you and you just can smile and laugh it off anymore?

Susan-Va
01-31-2008, 04:48 PM
Haha! That reminds me...I have actually had people ask if my tattoos were real!
Then there's my anchor and skull tattoo, that I constantly get the question
"So, did you get that done because of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie???"


I've gotten that too! I have an anchor and sailor girl on my leg. I just tell them I'm a pirate looking for booty!

CherryBomb954
02-01-2008, 01:26 AM
I've gotten that too! I have an anchor and sailor girl on my leg. I just tell them I'm a pirate looking for booty!

Haha! I said something to that effect one night, and then every time the guy would see me he would yell "Yarrrrrr!" really loudly. The first few times were funny then it started to get annoying. I'm on stage and I can hear "Yarrrrr!" over the music. I went up to him and said although it was cute, it was getting old and to give it a rest. Everyone was cracking up.
:smellie_p

CherryBomb954
02-01-2008, 01:27 AM
Hey! WTF! That smiley was supposed to be a pirate!

LoveComesFromWithin
02-01-2008, 01:30 PM
I walked by a group of women customers walking in and then one screams "ahh omg a hooker!" stupid bitch "stripper not hooker!" I wanted to trow my shoe at her.

hahahaha, wtf? what a weird situation!:O

NewMoon
02-04-2008, 02:40 PM
It's Sat night and the club is packed. We have dance booths but they are in no way private. There are people all around us include the two booths next to us and he asks "You got a condom?" Cause yeah, I'm not just gonna fuck you, I'm gonna fuck you right here in front of everyone. That's right. *rollz eyes*

sun child
02-04-2008, 04:04 PM
lol I had to share this one! A customer on Friday asked me if I could buy him a beer, or at least loan him the money for a beer until "the next time he sees me." I laughed at him and said "Oh, honey..." So funny! Mwaha.

Bridgette
02-05-2008, 03:12 AM
Last night at work, as I was beginning to give some dipshit a dance he said, "You seem like one of those girls who really downplays herself." I was wearing a neon pink leopard romper, neon pink thong, white garter leg straps (so I was GLOWing from top to bottom under the blacklights) and my blinky stripper shoes. Oh and with my implanted 32F tits. I was like a flashing neon stripper-sign. Yeah, I downplay myself. LMFAO


Of course he said that after saying something stupid about my glasses. Like the glasses hide all the glowing neon and blinking shoes, and the biggest pair of tits in the building. LOL

Dottie Rebel
02-05-2008, 03:42 AM
Really, tho, Bridgette--why don't you try having a little self-confidence once in a while?

AlexxaHex
02-05-2008, 04:08 AM
^OMG the only reason I regret some of my tattoos are the stupid questions I get at work EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. Every single guy asks me what my tattoos "mean". I'm like "IT'S A GODDAMN PICTURE! YOU WANT TO ANALYZE ME LIKE A RENNAISSANCE PAINTING WTF THIS IS A TITTY BAR"

rant over

Ain't THAT the truth. Let me spend my whole night explaining my personal reasoning behind my artistic choices while you sit there not even able to comprehend the value of what I'm saying anyway. Let me take up all this time on YOU for FREE. Get BENT.

Speaking of retardation, this couple was sitting at a table and I gave them a minute to settle in before I went over to say hi. They were kinda ghetto looking but it was dead and I thought I'd give it a try. I walk up and say hello and the guy blurts out, "YEAH ummm lemme get uhhhhh Heineken and uhhhh..."

Me: "I'm not a WAITRESS. I'm a dancer....so, HI, my name is Alexxa"

Woman: "Hi, I'm blahblahblah."

Me (still hoping I can make a sale off her since she seems to be making eye contact and engaging with me unlike her boyfriend): "Oh you have such pretty eyes, blahblahblah. But you already know that!"

Her (giggling): "Oh thank you!"

Stupid guy: "SHE AIN'T GAY!!!"

WTF?

So I laugh and wink at her as I'm walking away.

Susan Wayward
02-05-2008, 04:16 AM
Stupid guy: "SHE AIN'T GAY!!!"


Yeah, not yet.

UV69
02-05-2008, 10:07 AM
1 customer told me that "I really wanted him and he could tell from the moment he saw me"-- Maybe I saw that he was waving his wallet at me soo I ingored the oversized ego, but please even if I wasn't a lesbian who thought awe(I mean ill) how cute a sucker with a little dick for a face.

Another of the same breed of egomanic who truely believe this dyke was his dick told me that if i went home with him he'd turn me out, but that he wasn't inviting as he went on to tipping my double for putting up w/his ass like I thought he would.

However when he went on about how Ms Venezuela tried to seduce him,(ofcourse in his story he rejected her 2) and how much better looking I am then her and I knew he was off his rocker trying to rap it to me like I'm competing w/her 4 him (cuz he wants to flatter me by saying he think I look better) as if even Ms Ohio Potato would sweat him or I care what he thinks to begin with. I would do Ms Venezuela myself if I had the chance (exsapecailly if we are talking about Ms Venezuela who should have won the Hooters contest back in 2005--that actaully got booed by the cword cuz she was the 1st latina 2 make thier top 3/hands down in my book she was the hottest), but I didn't believe for a sec she wanted him anymore then I did and that was not at all. He still had money on him I could of had, but really what BS story was I going to have to listen to next from wannabe hef. I just left them there by himself to think about how much I wanted him.

AlexxaHex
02-05-2008, 10:51 AM
What?^^ I'm sorry but I couldn't make any sense of that story at all.

kittytheflamingo
02-05-2008, 03:05 PM
san diego is ghetto, but most of us try to have class....

going around for tips after stage (we collect from the whole crowd not just the tip rail)
cust: i'll give you a dollar if you holla
me: huh?
cust: holla, like, "yea-ah!"
me: uh, no. do i look ghetto?

few minutes later i hear a newbie go ye-ah! and look confused as to why all the rest of us were laughing

ViolaStrings
02-05-2008, 03:22 PM
I'm on a side stage on a busy night with lots of young people, being my usual prissy self, swaying, looking slightly indifferent, smiling big for tips, swirling around the pole every once in a while.

Nelly Wannabe: Drop down and get your eagle on, girl.
Me: Huh? (I have no fucking idea what that is, btw)
NW: Do the nelly eagle dance.
Me: The what?
NW: I'm from Conneticut.
Me: Gah?
NW: (in an angry tone) What?! You don't believe me? I'll show you my ID!!!

(I'm now blankly looking at him for disbelief, because #1 he asked me to do the eagle dance and was in disbelief that A) I didn't know what it was and B) I didn't want to do it for a dollar and #2 What the hell does being from Conneticut have to do with it?!)

I just searched for the "nelly eagle dance" on youtube and have come to the conclusion that it is the hip hop version of the chicken dance. Not sexy.

michele_b
02-05-2008, 03:40 PM
I just thought of this and was actually asked this all the time. I would be talking to the customers and they would ask how much I make an hour, or how much the club pays me to be there for however long I am there. I told them the club doesn't pay me, I told them you pay me, duh! I hated when I got asked that, I just felt like slapping the idiots. Especially when they asked it after the DJ announces that the girls are working for tips and tips alone. There's your sign fucktard! ::)

SugarArt
02-06-2008, 12:25 AM
Last night a CUSTOMER asked a DANCER if she could "LEND HIM MONEY TO BUY COKE!!!" .Then said he promised to give her a few "lines" if she did.

Her response was "Hell no, Piss off!!"

Dottie Rebel
02-06-2008, 04:39 AM
After staring at me with a dismissive grin and chatting with me for a few minutes, a customer once cut me off in mid-sentence to say: "You know--you sound like you actually have 2 brain cells to rub together. You could probably get into college if you want and get a decent job. Why are you doing this?"

But, but...I don't know nothin' 'bout no college!

Polekitten
02-06-2008, 01:28 PM
On Saturday I spoke to a custy for a few minutes and he seemed ice enough. When I asked him for a dance his reply was,
"I can't, these 3 big guys I'm with are my brothers in law. They really won't be happy if I have a dance plus they'll tell my wife."
Fair enough. I'm just saying my goodbyes when hes like,
"But how much for you to come back to my hotel room?"
So your brothers in law don't want you to have a dance but they won't care less about you taking a prostitute back to your hotel?? Wtf?:-\

paintgoddess
02-07-2008, 02:54 AM
Here's my SOB story of the night. Stupid fucker....

Me: Dancing on stage, really energetic. Guy at my tip rail motions me down to his level.
Him: Hey, I never tip girls, but there's something about you. (Gives me three dollars)
Me: Thanks!
Him: Hey come back down here. I'm gonna tell you a secret.
Me: Mmmm... kay?
Him: It will make you a lot of money. I mean a lot of money.
Me: Whatever....
Him: Come see me when you get off stage.

Minute later...after my set.
Him: Hey... take this. (Hands me a napkin.)
Me: What the hell is this? Does it even have a phone number?
Him: Wipe your nose. This is going to save you money. You need to wipe your nose. On the left side.
Me: (playing dumb) Oh do I have a booger? You could have just told me that! I'll go to the bathroom... (crumples napkin and puts it in his shirt pocket)
Him: Seriously. Your left side. I'm looking out for you.

I go to the bathroom... all clean. I found the fucker later on in the night and told him off. I'm sick of people insinuating that a very thin and energetic dancer does coke. He wins the crown for motherfuckers tonight. I should have blown my nose on his shirt and thanked him.

Taylorlila
02-07-2008, 09:34 AM
Dancers can't drink at my club, so here are a few gems I've heard.

"I KNOW every single one of you has a bottle of something some pills or something upstairs. You all do, I mean you have to." Um, I don't, she doesnt, I don't think she does...or her. Because ya know, our jobs so horrible we have to gett fucked up to do it.

or

"oh you can't drink? So you must do pills then huh?">:( Yeah obviously.

White & Nerdy
02-07-2008, 11:02 AM
I heard a customer tell a dancer out of the blue, "You know, you need a kid."

WTF?

:)

Yekhefah
02-07-2008, 11:04 AM
^^^ I got that once! Guy asked me if I had any kids, I said no, and he said, "Well, you should have some. It might motivate you to better yourself." Um, right, because no strippers have children. ::)

britt244
02-07-2008, 11:53 AM
last night

him- i'll pay you $30, but are dances usually $20?
me - no, they're $30.
him - are you sure?
me - um, you think i'm lying?
him - no, no, i just think $30 is a little egregious (yes, that's what he said ::) )
me - actually, around here, it's normal.. i've worked at 6 clubs, and none of them charged $20 for a lap dance.

a minute later..
me - so you've been to lots of strip clubs?
him - no, only 1 before this.
me - wait, so why would you say $30 is a lot for lap dances?
him - i'm a doctor.
me - um...
him - there are a lot of strippers where i practice. i know these things.

CherryBomb954
02-07-2008, 02:07 PM
him - there are a lot of strippers where i practice. i know these things.


!!??!!??!!

I'm speechless :doctor2: :boobies:

sxybrat07
02-08-2008, 11:29 AM
I walk out to cash out after my shift is over, wearing jeans and a Columbia hoodie, when this guy who's been oogling and not tipping all night talks to me.

Guy: Wow, Columbia huh?
Me: Yep
Guy: I feel smarter already.
Me: Um, that's good.
Guy: Too bad someone like you could never go to a place like that, huh? Ah well, I guess stripping is an ok job for having no education.

al2503
02-08-2008, 12:27 PM
^^ Is even funnier considering "Columbia" is the Ivy League School, while "Colombia" is the South American country...

Makes me wonder which one he thought you could never go to? :)
You were wearing a "Colombia" hoodie? I want to get one of those.

LilyLove
02-08-2008, 09:29 PM
I walk out to cash out after my shift is over, wearing jeans and a Colombia hoodie, when this guy who's been oogling and not tipping all night talks to me.

Guy: Wow, Colombia huh?
Me: Yep
Guy: I feel smarter already.
Me: Um, that's good.
Guy: Too bad someone like you could never go to a place like that, huh? Ah well, I guess stripping is an ok job for having no education.

What a weirdo! Had you even talked to him that night? I know people stereotype us, but it still always astounds me a little bit when someone says something like that out of the blue.

paintgoddess
02-08-2008, 10:35 PM
I have one I just remembered from over a year ago... This was during the John Deere convention season where the club would fill with gentlemen in cowboy hats and jeans...

Me: Hey how about I dance for you?
Him: Dance? For me?
Me: Yeah! I wanna get naked on you!
Him: Well how much does that cost?
Me: Twenty dollars
Him: Twenty dollars?!
Me: So... next song?
Him: Twenty dollars? (Opens up wallet to show me a large stack of twenties) Naw, I got a lot more than money to offer you.
Me: Like what?
Him: I got cows and land...and chickens. I'm a good guy. I got more to offer you than most of these guys here.
Me: Wow... so do you want a dance?
Him: You know, you're passing up a deal.

TheTempest
02-09-2008, 02:33 AM
^^And you passed on that gem? You could have had CHICKENS! Those are a great dowry... in Russia... in the 1700s....

seriously though, I lol'd at his stupidity

Amber_Sparxx
02-09-2008, 02:53 AM
What a weirdo! Had you even talked to him that night? I know people stereotype us, but it still always astounds me a little bit when someone says something like that out of the blue.

I know, it is SO frustrating sometimes when the dumbasses treat us like poo b/c they think that we are easy marks somehow. Lots of jerks to be met in the SC.