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yoda57us
07-18-2007, 05:28 PM
The concept of tipping a girl to sit with you has nothing to do with how interesting they are, or how interesting you are. It is simply a matter of paying them for their time. Dancers don't get paid to show up for work. Most of the time they sit with guys in order to try and sell dances. Now, clearly, if you are a club regular and the girls know that you are not going to spend any money on them but sit with you anyway that is there choice. Under any other circumstance the lady has a right to try and earn a living be it by selling dances or by charging for her time. If she wants to take a few moments of "lost time" between getting groped by strange men that is certainly understandable. Rare but understandable, especially when it is slow.

I go to clubs to spend time with ladies that I like to spend time with. I like these girls and I like to think that they like me but I'm not foolish enough to assume that they are just happy to see me because of my charm wit and personality. They are happy to see me because I'm a good customer. In most clubs this involves buying dances or VIP time. In one particular Mass club that has the lamest dance policy in the free world I just tip the lady to sit with me as it is a lot more fun than watching her dance three feet in front of me...

bem401
07-18-2007, 05:41 PM
The concept of tipping a girl to sit with you has nothing to do with how interesting they are, or how interesting you are. It is simply a matter of paying them for their time. Dancers don't get paid to show up for work. Most of the time they sit with guys in order to try and sell dances. Now, clearly, if you are a club regular and the girls know that you are not going to spend any money on them but sit with you anyway that is there choice. Under any other circumstance the lady has a right to try and earn a living be it by selling dances or by charging for her time. If she wants to take a few moments of "lost time" between getting groped by strange men that is certainly understandable. Rare but understandable, especially when it is slow.

I go to clubs to spend time with ladies that I like to spend time with. I like these girls and I like to think that they like me but I'm not foolish enough to assume that they are just happy to see me because of my charm wit and personality. They are happy to see me because I'm a good customer. In most clubs this involves buying dances or VIP time. In one particular Mass club that has the lamest dance policy in the free world I just tip the lady to sit with me as it is a lot more fun than watching her dance three feet in front of me...

I don't disagree with you, Yoda, but do you feel obligated to buy drinks or tip girls you did not ask over? If she sits down and we begin talking I will offer her a drink without hesitation. Most of the girls at the clubs I frequent know me and that I am there for a specific girl, so they don't come by all that often, but most of them know me well enough to say hello, if not when I'm alone, when our paths cross during my visit.

I do not begrudge any of them the right to come by and try to make a sale, either.

crizgolfer
07-18-2007, 06:01 PM
Sitting and talking does not imply that I am sharing my life story or asking to hear hers. It is purely for entertainment. If she makes me smile, and makes me laugh, well, that is worth something to me. I like a charming woman even if she is just playing (I like to play too).

I always like some talk before I buy any dances. I am attacted to personality as much as looks. If I want that, then I have to be conscious that her time with me is time taken away from trying to earn elsewhere. There are times when I have had such a nice time with a dancer that I tipped out all the cash instead of spending on dances. I usually don't just hand her this money. I wait until she is on stage and then hand her BIG tips.

That does not mean I feel obligated to automatically tip just because a dancer plops down next to me. If she sits of her own freewill and I am not interested, then I do not feel obligated to tip.

I hear a lot of complaints about tipping, $8 drinks, pay for talk, etc. I really do not understand the problem. It is my money and I will spend it as I feel. Just as your money is yours and you can spend in any way you choose.

All I can say is that me doing things the way I do them has worked for me. I can count on one finger the number of dancers I have ever had a "problem" with and this is due to how I conduct myself in the club. This is such a small price to pay for such a large gain in "customer service."

Katrine
07-18-2007, 08:06 PM
No girl is entitled to a drink because she is standing near me or chose to sit next to me. Had I signaled her over it would be a different story. Where else on Earth would you be expected to buy a drink for someone you neither know nor likely care to know?

Now if Blue is doing the talking. Is it really possible that there is not a single person in the world closer to you than a dancer to discuss your problems with ( or whatever it is you are paying to discuss ). If you are getting something off your chest, wouldn't it be better to do that with someone who really gave a damn about you and would listen to you for free. ".

Agreed on the first part. They are trying to strongarm you into buying a dance to get rid of them. Or to give them time to work some game on you. This game usually quickly degenerates to talk of unpaid water bills and baby daddies.

Part 2: I pay my therapist to listen and talk. And she likes me, she even gives me a hug before and after each $80 session. But I'm paying for her expertise, to apply her knowledge to my situation without judging me or becoming emotional because she hangs out with my socially. Similar to the stripper. The latter expertise is that the stripper knows what he wants to here and will tell him exactly what will make him feel good.

LuckiCharm
07-18-2007, 08:21 PM
Part 2: I pay my therapist to listen and talk. And she likes me, she even gives me a hug before and after each $80 session. But I'm paying for her expertise, to apply her knowledge to my situation without judging me or becoming emotional because she hangs out with my socially. Similar to the stripper. The latter expertise is that the stripper knows what he wants to here and will tell him exactly what will make him feel good.

You hit it right on the dot.

jaizaine
07-18-2007, 09:02 PM
No girl is entitled to a drink because she is standing near me or chose to sit next to me. Had I signaled her over it would be a different story. Where else on Earth would you be expected to buy a drink for someone you neither know nor likely care to know?

I said that the girls dont ask for drinks.
It is not expected, the men Im talking about obviously are very different to u.



What is the deal with what has been coined " tipping for talking? ". There are very few people in the world who I find interesting enough to pay to have a conversation with. I will admit however that in my world a dancer/aquaintance of mine would have qualified had I bothered to make a list. Absolutely fascinating woman. ( I bought the drinks, the conversation was free ). Generally speaking, I can't imagine what any person, let alone any dancer, would have to say to me that would make me want to give them money for the experience of listening to them.

Ok here is the deal. We PAY to be at work. If u want to waste my time talking to me u will pay the same price as the dances or u can promptly go away. I will tell u this flat out.
Believe me i do not find u interesting enough either to talk to witholut being adequately compensated for it. Time is money in the strip club so if u are wasting our time that is NOT ON. Now it's a diff story if she has come over to hustle u, then I agree u dont need to pay but dont waste her time either!
We dont pay our bills with alcoholic beverages so your offer of a drink just doesnt cut it.

As for your statement that u would not pay for the experience of listenign to a dancer, well it's the experience of having a beautiful woman standing aroudn pretending to be interested and nolt totally bored by u rather than u listening to her.

Also, if u have approached the dancer, u r wasting time that she could be using to sell someone else. Please be respectful of that.

yoda57us
07-19-2007, 01:38 PM
I don't disagree with you, Yoda, but do you feel obligated to buy drinks or tip girls you did not ask over? If she sits down and we begin talking I will offer her a drink without hesitation. Most of the girls at the clubs I frequent know me and that I am there for a specific girl, so they don't come by all that often, but most of them know me well enough to say hello, if not when I'm alone, when our paths cross during my visit.

I do not begrudge any of them the right to come by and try to make a sale, either.

The best way I can say it is that I refuse to be browbeaten into buying a drink for or tipping a girl that I don't know. That being said, if I know the lady and we are killing a few minutes together I will always offer to buy her a drink if the waitress or bartender comes over while we are talking. I won't tip her for sitting with me as, trust me, she knows I'm there to see somebody else. The dynamic is different in different clubs. The two or three places I visit regularly are all on the low key side and I never really have any problem just telling a lady that I am waiting for someone else.

gameover
07-19-2007, 03:29 PM
Ok here is the deal. We PAY to be at work. If u want to waste my time talking to me u will pay the same price as the dances or u can promptly go away. I will tell u this flat out.
Believe me i do not find u interesting enough either to talk to witholut being adequately compensated for it. Time is money in the strip club so if u are wasting our time that is NOT ON. Now it's a diff story if she has come over to hustle u, then I agree u dont need to pay but dont waste her time either!
We dont pay our bills with alcoholic beverages so your offer of a drink just doesnt cut it.

As for your statement that u would not pay for the experience of listenign to a dancer, well it's the experience of having a beautiful woman standing aroudn pretending to be interested and nolt totally bored by u rather than u listening to her.

Also, if u have approached the dancer, u r wasting time that she could be using to sell someone else. Please be respectful of that.

From the tone of your reply, I can't see that you would be great company to chat with anyway, so please feel free to get up and move on.

I never twist a dancer's arm to sit and chat with me. I will usually decline their offer to join me if I'm not at least somewhat interested in her.

I never have, and never will pay a dancer to chat with me. Once I take to a dancer, I do buy lots of dances from her, though

What you need to realize is you may have different custy targets Are you just trying to sell a $20 dance, or cultivate a regular who will spend hundreds every week? Obtaining a regular requires more effort than "wanna dance?"

Frankly a dancer who would even raise the subject of paying for chatting is usually so jaded and bitter about work, that I'm not likely to want to chat with her anyway.

And what is this great chat you are offering, anyway? I get to hear about how your ex bf's screwed you over, about your overdue bills, etc. What fun.

I also think that after dancers work in the field for a while, they lose perspective on how much money is being spent on them, and they think we should just shower them with money just because they showed up for work.

Sheeesh. So now you know why we like to get to know a dancer a bit before becoming a regular and spending hundreds a week on them. To weed out the above crap.

Jenny
07-19-2007, 03:43 PM
^^^
Okay, now you're just being silly. There are ways of enjoying "dancer chat" without being unreasonable. (Although, if I may point out - you just said that to cultivate a regular you need to do more than "wanna dance"? That certainly implies that the conversation is required. If you actively want the conversation what is so wrong with suggesting that you pay for it?). One way is for the customer to suitably stunt his "conversation" demands to be appropriate to the number of lapdances. Another is to simply not demand conversation. Another is to buy by the hour so that you are not asking her to sit for free.

Ultimately, I chat with customers to get them to buy dances. I'm not judging how interesting or worthy they are - I don't care because I'm not at a singles bar looking for a boyfriend. But you guys are working on the premise that the conversation is a peripheral while the dance is the product, while simultaneously making very clear that the "peripheral" is absolutely integral to the experience, and half the time you really want it more anyway. So I submit that maybe you are constructing the situation a little inaccurately, and I would suggest that you consider: if the conversation is a service you want, maybe you should consider paying for it rather than engaging in these arm wrestling tactics trying to get something for nothing. Again - this has nothing to do with your worth as a person or how interesting you are. It is just an issue of your time/company/sweet talk as a commodity. If you don't want it... why have it? Skip to the dancing. We'll all be happy.

cameron_keys
07-19-2007, 03:43 PM
I never have, and never will pay a dancer to chat with me. Once I take to a dancer, I do buy lots of dances from her, though

Frankly a dancer who would even raise the subject of paying for chatting is usually so jaded and bitter about work, that I'm not likely to want to chat with her anyway.

And what is this great chat you are offering, anyway? I get to hear about how your ex bf's screwed you over, about your overdue bills, etc. What fun.


Dont assume that every custie wants what you want. I've made the most money off guys who wanted to chat. Guys who either did not have anyone else to talk to or for whatever reason ..just enjoyed my company. They understood that if they wanted me to spend time with them, they had to pay for it. They woud never be so arrogant as to expect me to sit with them for hours for free while I am at work. No matter how captivating the conversation is..I cant leave work broke because of it. Not every guy want sor is comfortable with getting dances. Some just enjoy the company of an attractive, interesting woman.

And while I would never tell a customer to pay me for chatting....i will tell him that while I'd love to sit and talk, I have to go make moeny.He can then decide whether to compensate me for my time and keep me there...or give me up.

What makes you think that the conversation you would have would be all about ex bf's and overdue bills? Many of us ARE capable of more varied conversaton topics believe it or not.

Lapaholic
07-19-2007, 05:40 PM
Mmmm ... I must not have been to any place where I would be compelled to pay for chatting with a dancer. Now as CK explains if I asked a woman to sit with me for hours on end, I would of course expect to pay for that. I ve just never have seen it or thought it was ever required.

How would I know a payment for that would be required and would I then be considered rude for saying "No" to the "you want company?" question. I have to tell ya, I am really confused right now. I always figured that it works like this:


Dancers aks to join me
We talk
SHe ask for a dance
We dance or I say no and she moves on.

In that period should I pay her for her time!!! What amount ... Or am i just ignorant!!

LuckiCharm
07-19-2007, 06:08 PM
[QUOTE=Lapaholic;1145469]Mmmm ... I must not have been to any place where I would be compelled to pay for chatting with a dancer. Now as CK explains if I asked a woman to sit with me for hours on end, I would of course expect to pay for that. I ve just never have seen it or thought it was ever required.

QUOTE]

Well, I don't consider it a requirement. I do what CK said- If the guy wants me to sit and talk but he's not paying me, I tell him I have to go make money. Then, it's up to him. If he doesn't offer to pay me to stay there, then I get up and leave and we're on good terms. I don't get offended when I'm not paid for my time with someone, I'll simply tell them I'm off to make money.

Golden_Rule
07-19-2007, 07:05 PM
I always like some talk before I buy any dances.

Customers differ.

You see, in regard to dances I don't like to talk other than about the dance itself. If I decide I want a dance, I negotiate terms that both the dancer and I agree on so we are on precisely the same page before we enter the LDR or the VIP. I know what I am getting, she knows what see is getting, neither is disappointed.

That is why I see other forms of chit-chat as non-compensatable I guess. Like I said, I don't pay for things I don't contract for and I don't contract simply to talk to people.

I wouldn't knock anyone for feeling differently about that though. Its just my way of doing things that makes me comfortable.

Golden_Rule
07-19-2007, 07:12 PM
The latter expertise is that the stripper knows what he wants to here and will tell him exactly what will make him feel good.

Now that is pretty sad. For the customer I mean. To feel the need to pay someone to be a "yes man" to sooth his ego.

Why not just trust your own intellect and conscience? If you have a question that can't be dealt with by either, talk it over with a friend. And if I felt I needed third party advice the last thing I would look for is someone I paid to simply make me feel better about the decisions I had already made for myself.

Total waste of time and money, that.

The only people who need 'yes men' are those with little self-confidence or low self-esteem. And if those are their issues they need to talk to people who can help them acquire those traits, not those who profit from their continued lack of them.

Golden_Rule
07-19-2007, 07:24 PM
As for your statement that u would not pay for the experience of listenign to a dancer, well it's the experience of having a beautiful woman standing aroudn pretending to be interested and nolt totally bored by u rather than u listening to her.



Jaizaine, perhaps it might help to suggest to you that not all customers are the same. Some of us don't need the experience of a beautiful woman pretending to be interested in what we have to say. So you shouldn't be offended if you bump into one of us.

In my case I don't need anyone to pretend to be interested in me at all. I just need to see pretty women from time to time and get a lap dance once in awhile. That is why I said I make it clear that those are my wants so the dancers don't waste any time just pretending to want to chat, and when I do talk to them it is about the business of what goes on in strip-clubs.

The exception, as I said, is if they come over wanting to chat because they are either bored or the club is dead and talking to me is something to do. Then I am more than happy to chit-chat if they want, but to ask me to pay for it when I didn't ask for it as a service is like coming to my house, painting the front door without asking, and than ringing the door bell and asking for payment.

jaizaine
07-19-2007, 08:26 PM
From the tone of your reply, I can't see that you would be great company to chat with anyway, so please feel free to get up and move on.

My tone is because i am sick of the cheap attitude of some customers who APPROACH ME and then expect to be able to waste copious amounts of my time without compensating me. I am talking about the ones who approach me not the ones that I approach. I am not a "wanna dance?" dancer anyway. I do the little chat and then ask them if they would like a dance, if no, then see-you later because plenty of others will.



I never have, and never will pay a dancer to chat with me. Once I take to a dancer, I do buy lots of dances from her, though

What you need to realize is you may have different custy targets Are you just trying to sell a $20 dance, or cultivate a regular who will spend hundreds every week? Obtaining a regular requires more effort than "wanna dance?"

What u need to realise is that I do very well as a dancer and I am not here for your amateur advise as to how to should do my job. I have many regulars and I very rarely will do a $20 dance.




Frankly a dancer who would even raise the subject of paying for chatting is usually so jaded and bitter about work, that I'm not likely to want to chat with her anyway.

And what is this great chat you are offering, anyway? I get to hear about how your ex bf's screwed you over, about your overdue bills, etc. What fun.

seriously u r the one sounding jaded and bitter here. Why do u think we all have fucked up relationships and money problems. My fiances and my relationship are just fine and u will hear about neither because of course at work i am "single" and i dont discuss money.




Sheeesh. So now you know why we like to get to know a dancer a bit before becoming a regular and spending hundreds a week on them. To weed out the above crap.

As I said I have plenty of regulars who come and visit me weekly and twice weekly and enjoy their time with me. I just WEED OUT the losers who think they can chat and chat and chat for free without any intention of buying dances. I am there to work not make friends or meet a boyfriend.

Pan Dah
07-19-2007, 08:37 PM
You see, in regard to dances I don't like to talk other than about the dance itself. If I decide I want a dance, I negotiate terms that both the dancer and I agree on so we are on precisely the same page before we enter the LDR or the VIP. I know what I am getting, she knows what see is getting, neither is disappointed.
So I'm curious. Do you take your attorney along to help in the negotiations and draw up and witness the appropriate forms?

Really, what is all this negotiation about? A lap dance is pretty much a lap dance, and in most clubs the price and house rules are pretty constant. This being StripperWeb, you are just talking about regular lap dances, right?

jaizaine
07-19-2007, 08:42 PM
So I'm curious. Do you take your attorney along to help in the negotiations and draw up and witness the appropriate forms?

Really, what is all this negotiation about? A lap dance is pretty much a lap dance, and in most clubs the price and house rules are pretty constant. This being StripperWeb, you are just talking about regular lap dances, right?

;D LMAO

Katrine
07-19-2007, 09:16 PM
The only people who need 'yes men' are those with little self-confidence or low self-esteem. And if those are their issues they need to talk to people who can help them acquire those traits, not those who profit from their continued lack of them.

Baby, that's the market! Those are the men strippers make their money off of. If its not you, fine. But don't judge other people in a different emotional place in their lives. Why are you attempting to expound your personality upon other people? Its extremely futile, and even more irritating.

Some guys will pay money for conversation. Fucking get over it already. If a dancer can make more money off of stroking a guy's ego than stroking his dick, more power to her.

In my case, I never expected payment for conversation, yet I got it. Here's the clincher: some custies that paid for conversation tended to pay for it while I was naked and wiggling around in their laps. Its win-win.

Others offered me money just to sit and hang. Who am I to turn it down?

Most who turned me down for a dance got 2 songs of my self-promotion disguisted as interested conversation. That's ok, cut the losses and move on.

Its the ASSHOLE COCKSUCKER FUCKTARDS that would keep you for an hour, PROMISING to buy dances, then reneg, who are evil scum worthy of anestheticless castration. And those are few, but enough to seriously affect a stripper's view of men.

Was that clear enough?

jaizaine
07-19-2007, 10:30 PM
Some guys will pay money for conversation. Fucking get over it already. If a dancer can make more money off of stroking a guy's ego than stroking his dick, more power to her.
WORD



Its the ASSHOLE COCKSUCKER FUCKTARDS that would keep you for an hour, PROMISING to buy dances, then reneg, who are evil scum worthy of anestheticless castration. And those are few, but enough to seriously affect a stripper's view of men.

Was that clear enough?

Yes Katrine, thank-u!

Lapaholic
07-20-2007, 05:25 AM
So I'm curious. Do you take your attorney along to help in the negotiations and draw up and witness the appropriate forms?



lol - Funny

GR - Why are u criticizing the dancers cause guys will pay to talk to them ... ?? I mean I guess that where my original confusion came in while reading this thread. Are u just appalled by that notion!!!

And if a lady comes up to me on a dead nite - its me and 20 dancers, you know dead - and I let her stay to talk with me and stuff ... I d buy dances from her. I mean thats why u r there. Otherwise tell her no you dont wanna talk - even if its a dead night. An SC is a service economy - pay for play.

If u had a lawyer who had a lot of down time, you would still pay him to draw up your lap dance contract. This is the same thing.

Sounds like we are making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Mastridonicus
07-20-2007, 08:01 AM
There is just so much quote-able material here...but you're just going to have to wing it with me.

GR/Gameover. Watch yourselves. No, I'm not handing out some sort of threat, but in GR's putting down of people NOT like him, you really do make it a broad generality then try to say all customers are different.

The INDUSTRY is about the customer but it sells, or should sell to, the customer that wants to see a beautiful woman put on an amazing show that's so good that you'd pay to sit with her and talk/dance with her about anything and everything.

Since this plays to a customer's sexuality, it's comes hand in hand with fantasy. People deal with those fantasies differently. How you deal with the fantasy is directly proportional to your emotional state.

As GR states, it seems like he'd be happier if he'd walk into a club, have all the women on a line up, pick one, go in the back, have her rub on him for a few hundred and leave. Trust me, she'd like that too.

However, it seems in my opinion, that the majority of the money in this industry is in that pop-culture created gray area where the dancer has to make herself appear attainable to the more and more common man who wants proof that he can get what he perceives as a must-be icon of female vision. The problem being, as the dancer grows more annoyed with the customers attempts at manufacturing a reality from the fantasy, the money dries up and then everyone gets annoyed.

Even worse, some customers, if they can get called that, are now going to strip club to have their egos stroked by denying dancers in malicious ways. I've even observed bragging rights about making one cry that wanted someone so bad.

The funniest thing about this site, and all it's "Justify my SC behavior" and "Does she like me?" mentality is the fact that the customers are more the spinsters than the dancers. Hell guys, we're doing the majority of the work, in the mere fact that we see it worthwhile to fight to prove we AREN'T.

Golden_Rule
07-20-2007, 10:17 AM
So I'm curious. Do you take your attorney along to help in the negotiations and draw up and witness the appropriate forms?

Really, what is all this negotiation about? A lap dance is pretty much a lap dance, and in most clubs the price and house rules are pretty constant. This being StripperWeb, you are just talking about regular lap dances, right?

If you don't like the word negotiate than how about parley or transact?

Pan Dah, you are an S-C vet. You know a lap dance can run the gamut from air to full service - depending on the club, the dancer, the customer, etc. The price for multiple dances can be the single dance rate up to a steep discount for an hours worth. That is a lot of ground to cover.

I don't want the dancer to be disappointed. I certainly don't want to be disappointed. So both the dancer and I are on the same exact page before we get up and head to the LDR or the VIP. Everyone's happy. That's the way I like it. I hope, at least it looks that way from where I am sitting, that most of the dancers like it to. There is no guess work with me.

Golden_Rule
07-20-2007, 10:58 AM
Baby, that's the market! Those are the men strippers make their money off of. If its not you, fine. But don't judge other people in a different emotional place in their lives. Why are you attempting to expound your personality upon other people? Its extremely futile, and even more irritating.

I really am sorry if that is the way it sounded.

I just said it is sad because, outside of the strip-club, there is little market for it. If you exhibit those tendencies outside the club it might just be hurting you at work, at home with your family, in a relationship with a girl-friend, etc. I would wish better for any body


Some guys will pay money for conversation. Fucking get over it already. If a dancer can make more money off of stroking a guy's ego than stroking his dick, more power to her.

OK, you folks need to give me a break. You are putting words in my keyboard. I never said anything about they shouldn't pay dancers for convo. In fact I said it should be paid for when it is a requested service.

What I did say is that dancers shouldn't get upset when they pump into customers who don't request that service, initiate on their own, and then expect to get paid for something that wasn't requested of them.


Its the ASSHOLE COCKSUCKER FUCKTARDS that would keep you for an hour, PROMISING to buy dances, then reneg, who are evil scum worthy of anestheticless castration.

So what's the issue? We don't disagree on that at all. If I was a dancer and someone did that to me I'd stand on top of his table and announce in a clear, loud, voice to ever dancer in the room that the guy was dirt bag and then pull a sharpie and write "Hello. My name is Shrimp Dick" on his forehead.


And those are few, but enough to seriously affect a stripper's view of men.

Just realize I am not that guy. With someone like me you know precisely what I want, we agree on what its worth to both of us, and with that stuff out of the way upfront and not having to worry about it have the best time that we can have with it.

Golden_Rule
07-20-2007, 11:03 AM
lol - Funny

GR - Why are u criticizing the dancers cause guys will pay to talk to them ... ?? I mean I guess that where my original confusion came in while reading this thread. Are u just appalled by that notion!!!



Not what I said Lap.

Please re-read what I had written, and than my post to Katrine above.

Golden_Rule
07-20-2007, 11:13 AM
There is just so much quote-able material here...but you're just going to have to wing it with me.

GR/Gameover. Watch yourselves. No, I'm not handing out some sort of threat, but in GR's putting down of people NOT like him, you really do make it a broad generality then try to say all customers are different.



Geeze. Some of you all really need to get over the notion that if someone says something you disagree with that its a put down.

Its like I walked into a meeting of "Persecution Complex Anonymous".

Now, for comparative purposes the first sentence in my response is the statement of an opinion. It can't hurt you so you needn't be afraid of it. The second sentence is a put down and the first you have seen from me on this board. It can't hurt you either, but you might feel a bit flushed.

Please note the difference.

Sorry, but you genuinely asked for it. ;D


As GR states, it seems like he'd be happier if he'd walk into a club, have all the women on a line up, pick one, go in the back, have her rub on him for a few hundred and leave. Trust me, she'd like that too.

I don't need them to line up at all. In fact that would be a bad thing as they wouldn't be themselves in such a scenario. I can tell who I want to dance with just by watching them walk about and interact with others.

And as to them liking that I don't take much effort because I've made up my mind for myself and they don't have to sell me to get my couple of hundred bucks, tres cool! I would hope so. Makes life simpler for everyone from my perspective.

That isn't the same thing as saying there aren't all manner of perspectives and other people like theirs as much as I like mine... which is what some of you keep doing to me.

Peace.

James Bond
07-20-2007, 02:31 PM
This thread should be called "Customer Loyalty."

Once it's established between the dancer and I that I'm her regular, I don't allow anyone else to dance for me.

I show her the same respect that I'd show anyone else I knew in my personal life. You could say that I'm a "Serial Monogamous Regular" (SMR).

If I find a dancer that I like, who entertains me the way I like, I see no reason to dancer hop.

Golden_Rule
07-20-2007, 02:49 PM
This thread should be called "Customer Loyalty."

Once it's established between the dancer and I that I'm her regular, I don't allow anyone else to dance for me.

I show her the same respect that I'd show anyone else I knew in my personal life. You could say that I'm a "Serial Monogamous Regular" (SMR).

If I find a dancer that I like, who entertains me the way I like, I see no reason to dancer hop.

Fine. I mean that. It works for you.

Please don't, for the rest of us that feel differently about it, place your seeing dances at a strip-club to be the equivalent of a committed dating relationship on us.

Many of us see dancers as professional entertainers selling a service. Someone selling a service to me is not entitled to the same loyalty a woman I am in a committed relationship gets.

Candidly, that whole notion seems a bit bizarre since it would be attempting to extract such a relationship for men who, if they are married men, engaged, going steady, aren't [from the women in their lives perspectives] even giving that to the women they ARE in committed relationships with.

-hey, just pointing out the obvious-

James Bond
07-20-2007, 03:18 PM
Fine. I mean that. It works for you.

Please don't, for the rest of us that feel differently about it, place your seeing dances at a strip-club to be the equivalent of a committed dating relationship on us.

Many of us see dancers as professional entertainers selling a service. Someone selling a service to me is not entitled to the same loyalty a woman I am in a committed relationship gets.

Candidly, that whole notion seems a bit bizarre since it would be attempting to extract such a relationship for men who, if they are married men, engaged, going steady, aren't [from the women in their lives perspectives] even giving that to the women they ARE in committed relationships with.

-hey, just pointing out the obvious-


I don't see it as the same as a commited relationship, of course. I knew I would get a response like yours. If the dancer stops fullfilling her end of the bargain, I'll move on.

It's entertainment, but if a dancer has danced for me for a while, I consider it disrespectful to have another dancer dance for me.

And yes, sometimes, "ITC friendships" develop between Cust/dancer (after many months). You should treat that "ITC friendship" like you would any other friendship. If your "ITC relationships" with your longterm regulars are always sterile, then you may have a problem forming relationships.

Yes, there is a dancer/cust relationship, there is a student/teacher, there is a neighbor/neighbor relationship, there are all kind of relationships.

I treat them all with loyalty if I'm given loyalty back. You may not be a loyal person.

bem401
07-20-2007, 03:29 PM
I said that the girls dont ask for drinks.
It is not expected, the men Im talking about obviously are very different to u.



Ok here is the deal. We PAY to be at work. If u want to waste my time talking to me u will pay the same price as the dances or u can promptly go away. I will tell u this flat out.
Believe me i do not find u interesting enough either to talk to witholut being adequately compensated for it. Time is money in the strip club so if u are wasting our time that is NOT ON. Now it's a diff story if she has come over to hustle u, then I agree u dont need to pay but dont waste her time either!
We dont pay our bills with alcoholic beverages so your offer of a drink just doesnt cut it.

As for your statement that u would not pay for the experience of listenign to a dancer, well it's the experience of having a beautiful woman standing aroudn pretending to be interested and nolt totally bored by u rather than u listening to her.

Also, if u have approached the dancer, u r wasting time that she could be using to sell someone else. Please be respectful of that.


I am not there to waste anyone's time. If I invited the girl over to join me, I am certainly on the hook for something, be it a dance or a drink. I am thinking more of situations where the girl approaches me. I realize she's just trying to make a living but she is not there at my request. I make it known ASAP that I am waiting for someone specific, so she knows my money is already earmarked. If she chooses to remain there for whatever reason ( other than me asking her to ), I don't see how I can be guilty of wasting her time.

As far as buying drinks is concerned. I buy plenty of drinks, but I choose who I will buy them for. I have bought drinks on occasion for girls I really don't know only to have them take the drink and leave without even staying to join the conversation. WTF is that about?

As far as tipping for talking is concerned, in my everyday life I have very little patience for people pretending to be interested in me and now I'm supposed to pay for it as well? I don't see that happening, but then again I am not very likely to talk at length with someone I just met. I am not knocking dancers here, I just wouldn't pay anyone to pretend to be interested in me.

Golden_Rule
07-20-2007, 03:38 PM
I don't see it as the same as a commited relationship, of course. I knew I would get a response like yours. If the dancer stops fullfilling her end of the bargain, I'll move on.

It's entertainment, but if a dancer has danced for me for a while, I consider it disrespectful to have another dancer dance for me.

And yes, sometimes, "ITC friendships" develop between Cust/dancer (after many months). You should treat that "ITC friendship" like you would any other friendship. If your "ITC relationships" with your longterm regulars are always sterile, then you may have a problem forming relationships.

Yes, there is a dancer/cust relationship, there is a student/teacher, there is a neighbor/neighbor relationship, there are all kind of relationships.

I treat them all with loyalty if I'm given loyalty back. You may not be a loyal person.

Hey, all I said is what works for you might not work for everyone else and it would be unfair of anyone to use what works for you as a standard for everyone else.

As to my loyalty. I am a married man who has sex with other women. Sometimes I pay for it. Sometimes I don't. I'd be the last person to say that MY ideas about what loyalty is should be used as a standard for anyone else.

At least I am honest about that though.

Not say that means much.

yoda57us
07-20-2007, 07:34 PM
As to my loyalty. I am a married man who has sex with other women. Sometimes I pay for it. Sometimes I don't. I'd be the last person to say that MY ideas about what loyalty is should be used as a standard for anyone else.

At least I am honest about that though.

Not say that means much.

OK, I just can't let this one pass.....

Honest with who?

Dirty Ernie
07-20-2007, 08:29 PM
This guy was entertaining for awhile but now he's just become tedious. Dood, nobody has written so much and said so little. Please don't refer me to anything you said earlier, because there's almost no real substance in any of your multitude of posts.

How can you say you think it's sad for a guy to pay for an ego stroke from a stripper, when you just admitted to paying for sex. Is there a bigger false ego stroke than that? You talk about ethics and living by your screen name, well I hope your wife is being "done unto" by someone else at a similar rate as yourself. She probably doesn't mind you stepping out though, because at least you're not at home to bore her to tears with your micro-analytical drivel.


Let's keep it civil. If/when it becomes too "tedious" for the mods' liking, we'll take action.

Thank you.

jaizaine
07-20-2007, 09:46 PM
I am not there to waste anyone's time. If I invited the girl over to join me, I am certainly on the hook for something, be it a dance or a drink. I am thinking more of situations where the girl approaches me. I realize she's just trying to make a living but she is not there at my request. I make it known ASAP that I am waiting for someone specific, so she knows my money is already earmarked. If she chooses to remain there for whatever reason ( other than me asking her to ), I don't see how I can be guilty of wasting her time.

As far as buying drinks is concerned. I buy plenty of drinks, but I choose who I will buy them for. I have bought drinks on occasion for girls I really don't know only to have them take the drink and leave without even staying to join the conversation. WTF is that about?

As far as tipping for talking is concerned, in my everyday life I have very little patience for people pretending to be interested in me and now I'm supposed to pay for it as well? I don't see that happening, but then again I am not very likely to talk at length with someone I just met. I am not knocking dancers here, I just wouldn't pay anyone to pretend to be interested in me.


u have said all this already. what's your point?

Golden_Rule
07-21-2007, 07:04 PM
OK, I just can't let this one pass.....

Honest with who?

Honest with myself about my short-comings.

I don't pretend to myself to be something I am not.

Golden_Rule
07-21-2007, 07:16 PM
This guy was entertaining for awhile but now he's just become tedious. Dood, nobody has written so much and said so little. Please don't refer me to anything you said earlier, because there's almost no real substance in any of your multitude of posts.

What is the need of some of you people here to censor others. If you don't like what I have to say you are a grown person operating under free will, ignore it.

Is there something about it that compels you in some way? Are you without the where with all to pass it by if it troubles you so much?

I'll answer your points, even though you were particularly rude.


How can you say you think it's sad for a guy to pay for an ego stroke from a stripper, when you just admitted to paying for sex.

Because when I do that it has absolutely nothing to do with having my ego stroked. Just my penis. It is a service, which I appreciate and for which I pay well. Not much different, in my mind, then enjoying a fine meal prepared by a good chef.

You wouldn't think eating is ego gratification would you?


Is there a bigger false ego stroke than that?

Only if you pretend that it is being done for any other reason then that you are paying for it. Which I don't do. Like I said, I am a customer, the other party a provider of a service. Its nothing more, and in fact nothing less, than that.


You talk about ethics and living by your screen name, well I hope your wife is being "done unto" by someone else at a similar rate as yourself.

I truly wouldn't mind if my wife did as I do. I don't have a jealous bone in my body. IN FACT, I would prefer it as then I could finally be honest about it and we could do it together. I use to be a swinger. I much preferred the honesty of that arrangement than having to lie about it.

And I don't pretend that lying about it isn't wrong.

RoseWhite
07-21-2007, 09:04 PM
The funniest thing about this site, and all it's "Justify my SC behavior" and "Does she like me?" mentality is the fact that the customers are more the spinsters than the dancers. Hell guys, we're doing the majority of the work, in the mere fact that we see it worthwhile to fight to prove we AREN'T.

Perfectly put. Can we just start a thread with that title, make it a sticky, and all posts that fall into that category can go in there?

yoda57us
07-21-2007, 09:13 PM
Honest with myself about my short-comings.

I don't pretend to myself to be something I am not.

OK, so you haven't....ah skip it, I just don't need this kind of inane banter right now...

crizgolfer
07-21-2007, 09:24 PM
Honest with myself about my short-comings.

I don't pretend to myself to be something I am not.

Are you really honest with yourself? It appears you lack the ability to be honest with others, so perhaps you need to reassess that a bit. Being dishonest with others is being dishonest with yourself.

Your statement definitely displays a lack of respect for others. This is usually a manifestation of a lack of respect for one self.

Mastridonicus
07-21-2007, 09:29 PM
All I really get out of this is:

"I'm having inner conflict with my decisions. Validate me"

You SAY we're putting words in your mouth, but really, we aren't. You started the thread, and we're pointing out or objective, and not-so objective views, but you appear to take every wrong one and fight it tooth and nail...

Hey I can be wrong here. I'm not going to argue if you think I am, but you definitely are trying to prove something, GR.

I am TOTALLY not trying to be aggressive either :D

James Bond
07-21-2007, 09:55 PM
Many of us see dancers as professional entertainers selling a service. Someone selling a service to me is not entitled to the same loyalty a woman I am in a committed relationship gets.




As to my loyalty. I am a married man who has sex with other women. Sometimes I pay for it. Sometimes I don't. I'd be the last person to say that MY ideas about what loyalty is should be used as a standard for anyone else.


Your last post contradicts your first post. You have no loyalty, integrity, or honor.

yoda57us
07-21-2007, 11:12 PM
Your last post contradicts your first post. You have no loyalty, integrity, or honor.

Give that man a cigar!

podx
07-22-2007, 01:27 AM
I don't see the contradiction there. Seems like very materialistic statements. But also some thought put into them. People in charge see loyalty different than the charges. Integrity is a porous concept at best for the less then rigid. Plus I can never spell it so I avoid it. Honor.. to me these days that is being polite. In a strip club that is probably following the rules. Honor to me is something passed down by parents or the Marines. Never got to either. But I should probably think about it now that I have typed about it.

Casual Observer
07-22-2007, 04:45 AM
However, it seems in my opinion, that the majority of the money in this industry is in that pop-culture created gray area where the dancer has to make herself appear attainable to the more and more common man who wants proof that he can get what he perceives as a must-be icon of female vision. The problem being, as the dancer grows more annoyed with the customers attempts at manufacturing a reality from the fantasy, the money dries up and then everyone gets annoyed.

Even worse, some customers, if they can get called that, are now going to strip club to have their egos stroked by denying dancers in malicious ways. I've even observed bragging rights about making one cry that wanted someone so bad.

The funniest thing about this site, and all it's "Justify my SC behavior" and "Does she like me?" mentality is the fact that the customers are more the spinsters than the dancers. Hell guys, we're doing the majority of the work, in the mere fact that we see it worthwhile to fight to prove we AREN'T.Thanks, Mast. You saved me from having to do a lot of typing.

As per usual, it's all about expectations--in this case, once again, the need to have realistic expectations in the unrealistic environment of the SC. That equation is generally unchanging.

Jenny
07-22-2007, 10:51 AM
Really, we don't need a thread on the character assessments of members. I think this has been about as revealing as it is going to be.

Thank you.