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Will
07-17-2007, 10:24 AM
Okay if a guy and girl are dating... the girl is completely Bi-Sexual and wants to be able to still play with other girls once n awhile and have threesomes... is she cheating on the guy shes with by wanting this?

I don't know, but any guy who does not consider that a dream come true, is not much of a man in my book. Don't worry, for every idiot like the one you (hopefully) got rid of, there are ten guys who would agree with me. Good luck. ;)

Will
07-17-2007, 10:26 AM
Guys have a fucking double- standard! I had the something similiar happen with my ex. He used to constantly tell me his fantasies about me being with another woman and then when I finally did it...he got so FUCKING PISSED at me!!! He even kind of stalked the other woman, giving her dirty looks, and calling her a bitch and a whore! WTF??? Maybe it was because he wasn't involved in the action! Who the hell knows??? Men can be so hypocritical. Also...I've heard of women forgiving men for cheating on them, but when the woman goes out and does it...THE MAN WILL LEAVE YOUR ASS FOR GOOD!!! I'm not a swinger...so I don't know what to say about that part. This should be an interesting thread.

Though I agree with much of the above, women can do the same thing. An Ex GF broke up with me for such a thing, and it was her idea! She said "I just cant view you the same way I did before" and I said "but it was your idea!" Didnt matter to her, some how it was my fault...:O

Raven_Reno
07-17-2007, 10:45 AM
Well..to give you an idea. I am happily married in an open marriage. I chose to get married because I am in love with my husband and vice versa. We commited to give our hearts, minds and souls to each other for the rest of our lives. We commited to go through life together..sharing everything and making decisions together..both spiritually and legally.

However...sex is not the be all and end all of our relationship. Sex between us is special and intimate. Sex with others is purely physical and recreational. Not everyone has the ability or the wish to separate the two. We do.
Everything else about our narriage is perfectly "normal". And we got married for much the same reasons everyone else does.

Hope that makes more sense to you.:)

see I have heard all that stuff before and yeah I get that it works for you and that's cool. But to me or I guess I should say for me, it doesn't make sense. I think it's because I'm not just not the type to ever view sex as purely physical and recreational. If it's not going to be special or intimate I'm not interested. But like I said that's why I choose a monogamous lifestyle while others choose something else.

I think the case with someone like Callyish's ex is that they think that it won't be a problem to live a non monogamous lifestyle but deep down it is a problem. When they finally or figure that out they get mad, hurt or both.

Raven_Reno
07-17-2007, 10:51 AM
I don't know, but any guy who does not consider that a dream come true, is not much of a man in my book. Don't worry, for every idiot

wtf? Why is a man who knows or figures out that they prefer a monogamous lifestyle not a "real" man?

What in your book makes a person who prefers multiple sex partners so much better of a human being than those who prefer to limit sex life to one partner?

Why can't you just do what is right for you without having to resort to saying people who are differnt than you are less worthy humanbeings >:(

cameron_keys
07-17-2007, 10:52 AM
see I have heard all that stuff before and yeah I get that it works for you and that's cool. But to me or I guess I should say for me, it doesn't make sense. I think it's because I'm not just not the type to ever view sex as purely physical and recreational. If it's not going to be special or intimate I'm not interested. But like I said that's why I choose a monogamous lifestyle while others choose something else.


No problem...it definately isnt for everyone! Just like monogomy isnt for everyone. I cant imagine only having sex with one person for the rest of my life! That just is such an odd concept for me. But it's cool that you can accept a lifestyle you dont want for yourself and not judge someone for it. Thankfully everyone is free to live the life that works for them! Goddess bless America!LOL!

Will
07-17-2007, 10:54 AM
wait a minute. Why is a man who knows or figures out that they prefer a monogamous lifestyle not a real man? I guess in your book everyone who chooses a monogamous lifestyle is not a whole person.

You are reading too much into it and projecting. ::)

Raven_Reno
07-17-2007, 11:04 AM
You are reading too much into it and projecting. ::)

ok, I'll bite. What I am I supposed to be projecting here ???

You said someone like my husband for example who doesn't view a relationship with a woman who wants multi sex partners as a dream come true, isn't a real man. I just want to know why a man who doesn't see it that way is some how not a "real man" and if he is not a real man then what is he?

I mean just because Callyish or Cameron doesn't want a monogamous lifestyle and I do want that- does tha mean in your book I am not a "real woman"? Or does your standard just hold true for men? And if so why?

Callyish
07-17-2007, 11:18 AM
He means that almost every straight guy in this world has at least had the fantasy of a threesome or watching their gf/wife with another girl...

Also read everything else this guy said/did to me...hes not much of a real man at all... in fact his friends and I are wondering if hes gay... he cries every time he cums :O

virgoamm
07-17-2007, 11:25 AM
He cries every time he cums? :O

TheSexKitten
07-17-2007, 11:28 AM
Eeew weird!

Callyish
07-17-2007, 11:32 AM
Yea.. he like howls as hes about to cum then he starts crying :rotfl:

Will
07-17-2007, 11:33 AM
ok, I'll bite. What I am I supposed to be projecting here ???

You said someone like my husband for example who doesn't view a relationship with a woman who wants multi sex partners as a dream come true, isn't a real man.

I said nothing of the sort, thus you are projecting your situation onto my comments.


I just want to know why a man who doesn't see it that way is some how not a "real man" and if he is not a real man then what is he?

And where did I mention anything about “real” men? Now you are adding words I didn’t write? Interesting. I shall clarify for you. A man, “real” or otherwise, does not call women a “whore” because his own insecurities are exposed after she is with another women. A man does not insult the other women, stalk her, and generally make other people feel guilty because he was unable to deal with a situation he was (1) told might exist due to her being bisexual and (2) telling her he was OK with it.

A man, “real” or otherwise on realizing such things were not for him, would recognize the problem was all his, and tell her nicely that it was not for him and want on his merry way like a mature adult man. A man does not tell a women he is ok with her bisexual interests to impress her, then freak out when the woman does exactly what she expressed to him was her physical needs/interests. That’s not a man, that’s a punk, and a stupid one at that, as most men I know would be thrilled with such a gal, but never mind that.




I mean just because Callyish or Cameron doesn't want a monogamous lifestyle and I do want that- does tha mean in your book I am not a "real woman"? Or does your standard just hold true for men? And if so why?


What on earth are you talking about and what’s the weather like on your planet? Really, read my comments and hers again. I could give a rats ass about who has monogamous relationship (I have been in one going on 6 years now) and who does not. The jerk ball kid acted like a real loser, sounds like a loser, and did not act like a “real” man in my opinion to the situation as she outlined it, and as mentioned, I actually had a similar experience.

The expression “be careful what you wish for as it may come true” should realy be “be careful what you wish for as you will have only yourself to blame if it does come true and don’t make my life miserable by being an asshole if it does come true and you cant deal with it” or something like that!:O

Vyanka
07-17-2007, 11:34 AM
Yea.. he like howls as hes about to cum then he starts crying :rotfl:

LOL...

ExoticEngineer
07-17-2007, 12:55 PM
Wow, this thread took a turn I didn't see coming....er, cumming. er...yah.

Mastridonicus
07-17-2007, 02:00 PM
My whole opinion of this was born out of a hard coded belief that people deserve to be happy. You have to be happy with the decisions you make for yourself. Basing your relationships upon the definition of a label can bring that kind of happiness. However there are many happy couples that easily fit within the confines of many labels.

Too much do people depend on those labels, not fully understanding how imprisoning they can be. We've become too focused on finding someone that wont challenge our insecurities without realizing how much light we're robbing from the most beautiful flowers, when we should be seeking to become happier as individuals.I'm not saying labels shouldn't be used. I'm saying that when you adhere to the expected action, something is LOST.

All I know is, if anyone I was with, felt they could not explore a potentially better option than me because they are "with" me, whether it be labeled or not, the pain I would incur from that would be far greater than any pain as a result of "cheating" or seeing someone else. I would NEVER ask a woman to believe there isn't anyone better than me.

TheSexKitten
07-17-2007, 02:51 PM
BTW stop picking on Blacksheep3 everyone! He just said what he himself would be comfortable with, no big. yeeeesh

Tileguy
07-17-2007, 03:13 PM
Being ok with you liking girls and threesomes is one thing. But just because you dont care that someone is into both sexs doesnt mean you want your gf sleeping with other people. I am ok with the fact that my girl is into both, I have always been but that doesnt make it ok for her to fuck everyone. What ever happened to being with one person? You want to have kids and have them know daddy and your girlfriend, when is it time to grow up and have a real relationship something with meaning? Maybe this guys only issue is he wanted more than a party girl. If you are the way you are that your choice but its the most self centred thing I have ever heard. You like girls so you should be allowed to do whatever with them, forget that it hurts someone you care about. If you truely love someone their feelings come first.

Circe
07-17-2007, 03:32 PM
I think Yek's definition of cheating is spot on.

But being bisexual and into girls doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to sleep with women as well. Plenty of bisexual people settle down with just one gender, though I know there's still the residual phobic idea of the slutty bisexual who can't stop fucking both genders.

Like, there's a difference between "I'm into girls" and "I'm dating you but I'm into girls and I'm going to be acting on these feelings"

Many guys are all for seeing their girlfriends with other women. But that doesn't mean all guys are into it. And of course it depends on the situation, but I find something a little strange about those situations where sleeping with a man is cheating but girls "don't count" Like, why doesn't sleeping with another person "count"? It seems to imply sex between women is less legitimate.

Budai
07-17-2007, 03:34 PM
Open Marriage - How Can I Convince My Husband?



The above video was snatched from a July 11, 2007 American Chronicle online article ()

Mily
07-17-2007, 03:37 PM
Though I agree with much of the above, women can do the same thing. An Ex GF broke up with me for such a thing, and it was her idea! She said "I just cant view you the same way I did before" and I said "but it was your idea!" Didnt matter to her, some how it was my fault...:O

I'm sorry that had to happen to you, Will. A lot of women can be hypocritical, controlling bitches, too.


TSK- No one is picking on Blacksheep. He stated his erhmm...opinion on the matter...and we commented back. :shrug:

ExoticEngineer
07-17-2007, 03:38 PM
Tileguy, I think you need to pull your head outta yer butt. With a quickness.

No one here said anything about hurting other people, and certainly none of us in open style relationships feel like out marraige or our love for our spouse is meaningless. And I personally take offense to you even implying that's the case.

What you are describing is NOT AT ALL the situation that happened in this topic. I suggest you take a deap breath, step away from the comp, come back later on start over from the beginning.

And lastly...what the hell are you talking about introducing kids to girlfriends? WTF? Take that mentality and run far away with it, please and thank you.

Callyish
07-17-2007, 03:47 PM
Okay first off, I told him im Bi, and that I like to continue to fool around with girls while im with a guy and I like to bring girls home for both of us to play with. He said he was okay with that.

Next off, I am far from a party girl. The only parties I attend are Industry parties that will benefit my career. I go, rub shoulders with all the right people, then go home. I do NOT drink, I do not party any other time. I hate partying. So you need to stop assuming shit.

Also next off, just because I like to fool around with other people does not mean I do not have feelings for the guy im with. Many couples are madly deeply in love but continue to have an open relationship.

When im with my guy and only my guy sex is more intimate and deep and meaningful... when its with other girls and what not its for fun and pleasure... no emotion and deep meaning.

So pull your head out of your ass and lose the 19th century mentality. This is not the 1800's... this is 2007 and people are much more open sexually. Doesn't mean you have to be, but you have no right to say that people who like to keep relationships open do not love each other.

Will
07-17-2007, 03:52 PM
I'm sorry that had to happen to you, Will. A lot of women can be hypocritical, controlling bitches, too.

Men are worse in that particular area no doubt, and I got over it, but came as quite a surprise to me at the time I can tell 'ya! /:O

Tileguy
07-18-2007, 03:17 PM
Well, frankly I believe the point of dating is to find the one. Not the group. You are more then able to choose your own life, as am I. However if someone is truely in love, they dont look for sex or play time outside of the relationship. Of course lots of guys are ok with an open relationship, you give him the right to cheat without worry. You set here and say cheating is different in all relationships and its ok cause its a girl you two are sharing. News flash doesnt matter if its a guy or a girl, cheating is cheating, meaningless sex is a waste of time. Grow some morals, have some respect for yourself and choose to share yourself with someone who matters not just a play toy. But everyone should have their own views these are mine.

DylanAngel
07-18-2007, 03:50 PM
Well, frankly I believe the point of dating is to find the one. Not the group. You are more then able to choose your own life, as am I. However if someone is truely in love, they dont look for sex or play time outside of the relationship. Of course lots of guys are ok with an open relationship, you give him the right to cheat without worry. You set here and say cheating is different in all relationships and its ok cause its a girl you two are sharing. News flash doesnt matter if its a guy or a girl, cheating is cheating, meaningless sex is a waste of time. Grow some morals, have some respect for yourself and choose to share yourself with someone who matters not just a play toy. But everyone should have their own views these are mine.

What exactly are you doing on this site anyway? We don't need the morals police around here.::)

Budai
07-18-2007, 04:00 PM
You are more then able to choose your own life, as am I...

Well put, Tileguy. Please remember your own words...

ExoticEngineer
07-18-2007, 05:25 PM
Well, frankly I believe the point of dating is to find the one. Not the group. You are more then able to choose your own life, as am I. However if someone is truely in love, they dont look for sex or play time outside of the relationship. Of course lots of guys are ok with an open relationship, you give him the right to cheat without worry. You set here and say cheating is different in all relationships and its ok cause its a girl you two are sharing. News flash doesnt matter if its a guy or a girl, cheating is cheating, meaningless sex is a waste of time. Grow some morals, have some respect for yourself and choose to share yourself with someone who matters not just a play toy. But everyone should have their own views these are mine.

I'm coming to the conclusion that you are very narrow minded. And no matter hwo many times we tell you that what you are bitching about is not hte issue here, you will not hear it. You are certain we are wrong, and you are right. Balck and white. Period end of story.

Boy, it would be wonderful if the worl realyl worked that way.

Tileguy, you're being a jerk. In case no one else notified you of that...consider it a favor on my part.

Why exactly are you here? What is the point of your posting other than to preach to us about how you personally feel a relationship should be viewd? We get the point. Move on would ya?

Tileguy
08-03-2007, 05:26 PM
are you that narrow minded yourself that you cant handle someone elses point of view if it doesnt agree with yours. You stated you views, I stated mine, you dont have to like it or agree with it. It is in fact how I feel. I did just as you are doing here, I didnt agree I voiced that and now you complain that I did but you do the same thing. That makes sense. I am a jerk? Cause I want to treat one woman, the one I am with like a queen and want our relationship to only be about us? Wow you are different, most women would say the cheating, sleeping around, abusive man is a jerk. Not a faithful hopeless romantic. But again to each their own. It seems for such an open chat, you only like peoples views when they agree with you.

cameron_keys
08-03-2007, 05:33 PM
^^ You didnt just state your views. You condemned and passed judgement upon anyone who's views differ.

"However if someone is truely in love, they dont look for sex or play time outside of the relationship"
"Grow some morals, have some respect for yourself "

Dont ever assume that because you are monogomous and I am not..that I am somehow less in love. That just highlights how unbelievably ignorant you are. Dont speak of something you have no understanding of. And you have made it crystal clear that you have NONE.

Yekhefah
08-03-2007, 05:36 PM
^^^ :yes: I don't think anyone on this forum would doubt that K and I are truly in love, but I'll tell you for a fact that nothing gets me hotter than watching another girl suck his cock. And I don't think anyone on this forum would accuse me of lacking morals or self-respect, LOL! Sex is hot. Sex is fun. For some people sex is twined with love, and for some people it can just be fun sex that is completely separate from love.

cameron_keys
08-03-2007, 05:39 PM
^^^ :yes: I don't think anyone on this forum would doubt that K and I are truly in love, but I'll tell you for a fact that nothing gets me hotter than watching another girl suck his cock.

Oh dear god ....isnt that the BEST?? Or watching him go down on another girl....an amazing turn on!!!

Love and lust are two separate things. Some people prefer to keep them as one...some people can see and feel them for the two differant emotions they are.Nothing wrong with either.Whatever works for you!

Yekhefah
08-03-2007, 05:46 PM
^^^ Exactly!

Circe
08-03-2007, 05:50 PM
This is one of those things that you either get or you don't.

It's like BDSM. Some people will always see that as twisted and abusive, and some people actually grasp the concept of communication, sexual expression and consenting adults.

Callyish
08-03-2007, 05:52 PM
^^^ :yes: I don't think anyone on this forum would doubt that K and I are truly in love, but I'll tell you for a fact that nothing gets me hotter than watching another girl suck his cock. And I don't think anyone on this forum would accuse me of lacking morals or self-respect, LOL! Sex is hot. Sex is fun. For some people sex is twined with love, and for some people it can just be fun sex that is completely separate from love.


SOOOOOOOOOOOO true!!! Nothing turns me on more then watching my man with another girl... omg its sooooooooooooo hot!! Seeing her mouth wrapped around his cock... and his face between her legs *faints* then eating her out while your being fucked by your man omg!!!


Love and lust are two separate things. Some people prefer to keep them as one...some people can see and feel them for the two differant emotions they are.Nothing wrong with either.Whatever works for you!

VERY true!! There is love making then there is just sex... two different things.

Mr Hyde
08-03-2007, 06:13 PM
Here's my take on that...if the guy thinks it's cheating, then it's cheating.

Having said that...any guy that thinks it's cheating is an idiot, and you should dump him and find a guy that is not an idiot.

Sorry if I just called your bf an idiot, but I swear, there are too few women around like you to waste you on a guy who doesn't appreciate what he has.

Callyish
08-03-2007, 07:09 PM
Here's my take on that...if the guy thinks it's cheating, then it's cheating.

Having said that...any guy that thinks it's cheating is an idiot, and you should dump him and find a guy that is not an idiot.

Sorry if I just called your bf an idiot, but I swear, there are too few women around like you to waste you on a guy who doesn't appreciate what he has.

Ahaha... I dumped him before I even wrote this post... and i've since moved on... I mean the fact the guy asked me to marry him in the first two weeks we were dating and told me he wanted me to mother his children.. like right away... well yea you can see where im going with this lol

jhuka
08-03-2007, 08:17 PM
I've had two girlfriends in my past who liked to be with other women--one worried that it would end our relationship, but I frankly thought it was great and made everything more erotic. I hinted at the idea of a threesome in the last relationship, but backed off when I realized it complicated things for my girlfriend--I decided to just enjoy the images in my head. But I did have a number of friends tell me they couldn't put up with it for real, even if they had fantasized about it. I honestly didn't (and don't) understand this: but as has been said here, you really need to have someone who is on your own wavelength, and I think many people operate at different levels of passion.

I hope to have another relationship like this: it has always seemed to me that the more free a woman is, the more exciting it is for the man as well. I love the journey and adventure of finding out what is deep in the heart of a woman.

X Evan X
08-04-2007, 03:54 AM
I'm a hypocrite. I admit it.

You can fool around with all the girls you want but no men please.

I don't have to be involved in the action tho, does that count for anything?

So I guess to the OP, no I don't think it's cheating. For what it's worth.
-E

Callyish
08-04-2007, 03:55 AM
Aww Evan your the bestest :P

Still waiting for that intro ::) :P

twisterinAZ
08-04-2007, 04:13 AM
^^^AAAAKKK! You're sooo better off without a wingnut like that! Glad you found out sooner, than later.

Yeah he sounds immature.

Lysondra
08-04-2007, 05:22 AM
Oh Miss Ish, don't you know?

It's only cheating if you use a mirror, 'cause then you're just fuckin' yourself. P:

Callyish
08-04-2007, 05:24 AM
Oh Miss Ish, don't you know?

It's only cheating if you use a mirror, 'cause then you're just fuckin' yourself. P:

:rotfl: good to know!! *tucks away vibe and moves the mirror*

ExoticEngineer
08-04-2007, 09:18 AM
K, well, this thread WAS pissing me off, but thanks to Yak, Cam and Cally I am now all worked up and must go wake my sleeping man! ;D