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britt244
07-18-2007, 11:02 AM
youre better than me! i had 2 drinks at work on monday, and i was so furious over something that happened today that i'm drinking now. i just needed to calm down.. great way to do it, huh? :-\

but see, you CAN stop yourself! you said you didnt think you could. and you can :)

austinatalie
07-18-2007, 01:48 PM
I'm proud of you! You said your problem was not stopping, so only having two drinks is an accomplishment. Still, try to get back to none for the rest of the 7 days.

ViolaStrings
07-19-2007, 12:46 AM
Ugh, I'm an idiot. I drank 8+ drinks over the course of my 7 hour shift tonight :( Why can't I stop?

Djoser
07-19-2007, 03:37 AM
Ugh, I'm an idiot. I drank 8+ drinks over the course of my 7 hour shift tonight :( Why can't I stop?

Wrong...

You're not an idiot, you are just facing an extremely difficult challenge. Especially at work, where everything, even the music, is designed to convince everyone to give in to temptation.

You did very well the first night, and very well the second night (especially stopping after only two glasses, that's tough for someone who doesn't usually stop--in my mind a success). Two out of three--when you have just barely started facing the problem, with little or no preparation, is a 66% success rate. And you are just starting out in your effort.

If you have as much of a problem with it as it seems you might, and you are working in an environment which pushes alcohol continuously and forcefully on you in any number of ways, that's very good. Talk to anyone in any realistic treatment program, and they will tell you right off that everyone has the occasional slip.

The ways that alcohol is pushed in stripclubs, both directly and indirectly, could easily be the subject for a thread all its own! As could an acceptable definition of alcoholism.

In my book, if you can stop, you don't have a problem, but that might be a bit too easy. Even if I have done it before.

I have been having a bit of trouble myself recently. The club I work in was the most stressful (if the best) I have been in yet, and every night after work I head right for the bar to get that free shift drink, which in my case is an enormous glass of wine. 16 ounces (as much as will fit in the biggest plastic cup we have behind the bar), in fact--which counts for almost 3 drinks by law. I drink it on my walk home. That's not usually enough, so when I get there I usually have more, as well as a hit or two of weed--until recently when I have begun trying to curtail the drinking.

Don't beat yourself up about the third night. 'One Day at a Time' isn't the motto of the AA program for no reason. It has its flaws, and I disagree with a lot of it, but it has helped millions and millions of people literally save their lives, so it's not all bad.

Just remember that you are in about the toughest environment there is to try to resist temptation. So instead of beating yourself up about one bad night, maybe you should feel good about the two successful ones.

242_fair
07-19-2007, 09:12 AM
Sometimes its easier to go one hour at a time.

Also try to get out of the mentality that after 3 or 5 drinks you've already 'blown it' & theres no point stoping now... you can switch to cola or water ANY TIME, even if you are already drunk, there is no reason to continue drinking --> making it worse.

CuriousJ
07-20-2007, 10:54 AM
Just keep working at it and it will get better . This isn't going to go away in the next week or two or 9 or whatever you will have to work on this all the time and chip away at it .
If you need help get it. The only reason I say that is for the support of people who you can call anytime you think things aren't going the direction you want .

StrawberrySwitchblade
07-20-2007, 11:42 AM
I'm kind of blown away when the waitress brought you something other than what your ordered. >:(

Silky
07-20-2007, 12:21 PM
I have had this problem in the past while out at regular clubs with friends. My last straw was embarrasing myself while out with my boyfriend.
It will get better, i still have to really be on my guard.
Good luck you are very strong!

britt244
07-20-2007, 04:20 PM
I'm kind of blown away when the waitress brought you something other than what your ordered. >:(

i was banned from drinking at my club because it was common knowledge that i'd drink too much. i'd order drinks, expecting the waitresses to bring me virgin ones since they KNEW, and they'd bring me real ones.

DylanAngel
07-20-2007, 05:43 PM
Sometimes its easier to go one hour at a time.

Also try to get out of the mentality that after 3 or 5 drinks you've already 'blown it' & theres no point stoping now... you can switch to cola or water ANY TIME, even if you are already drunk, there is no reason to continue drinking --> making it worse.

This is the best advice I've heard yet.

Kaiyla
07-20-2007, 07:41 PM
I can relate. If I worked 1,000 shifts in the time that I danced, I drank for 950 of those nights and I did it because of anxiety. I complained about the anxiety to my doc and he prescribed an anti-anxiety med that helped for awhile, and I actually kicked drinking for a few months. I felt SO good not waking up with a hangover and I dropped 5lbs within two weeks.
I went through phases where I wouldn't drink and then I would. The "party days" came to a screeching halt though after I had like ONE drink one night and then got pulled over on my drive home and arrested for DUI.
I thought I was walking that "tight rope" you were describing just contending with feelings about drinking at work but once the DUI was thrown into the mix, I was up shit creek for quite some time. Please be careful and keep trying -you have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain.
Please keep us posted

ViolaStrings
07-24-2007, 01:40 PM
Well guys, thanks for your support, but this week was a total BUST.

The new goal this week is to be sober enough to drive home by the end of every shift.

zxcire
07-24-2007, 02:34 PM
Keep trying, that's all that matters. Baby steps are fine! Good for you!

ViolaStrings
07-25-2007, 12:39 PM
Last night I drank too much, screamed at a girl for stealing my VIP, and told off the guy. I was like "Have fun, short stuff". I lost out on $500 because of my drinking. That's the best incentive ever to stop.

Lola Rose
07-25-2007, 12:44 PM
Last night I drank too much, screamed at a girl for stealing my VIP, and told off the guy. I was like "Have fun, short stuff". I lost out on $500 because of my drinking. That's the best incentive ever to stop.

yep.... everytime you're offered a drink... think "is this worth a hundred $? two? 5? 8?"

Tart
07-25-2007, 01:54 PM
Sounds like asking to go on drinking probation might be your best bet.

this way they cant serve you.

Best of luck

Nautilus
07-25-2007, 05:56 PM
i already know that if i were still working in my club (with huge champagne kickbacks) i could not stop at all... just couldn't. even with tipping into pot plants or into buckets i still drank a shitload.

i totally understand why this is like a fat person working in a donut factory.

my bestie back in the club days got us doing one champagne, one water throughout the night to try and dry us out. it is nigh on impossible. i don't want to be a downer but the environment is your biggest obstacle.

can't tell you to quit your donut factory, for lots of reasons, but this will be incredibly tough to beat otherwise.

some girls would do 6 weeks working, 6 weeks off - mostly because we did 6 nights a week of serious alcohol abuse. they would go to thailand or some other place to dry out. is it an option for you to cycle on and off work so you don't have to keep facing it all the time?

insidious little business this one - especially if you already have an alcoholic leaning.

zxcire
07-25-2007, 07:00 PM
I agree with everything Nautilus said above. It's a tough thing for most addicts, after quitting on their own, going to rehab, etc, to go straight back into the same environment, parties and such, with the same people. This will lead a person straight back into shit real fast if they're not extremely vigilant.

I work in a club that serves alcohol and where there is some drug use among the dancers. I have 3 years sober and clean from drug/alcohol addiction, and I am well-equipped to handle this now because I am in a very different place than I was when I first quit. In fact, I quit the first job I got after becoming clean (retail) because my manager had a drug problem and I felt that I couldn't be around it.

If you're not too attached to your club, you might want to try going somewhere else. Even if the next club serves alcohol, you will at least be away from any automatic habits you've picked up at your current club, triggers, etc. You could tell anyone there who asks that you don't drink at work and they won't question it because they haven't seen you do it before!

Best of luck to you.

britt244
07-26-2007, 10:40 AM
ive been on vacation with my parents since saturday. i havent had a drink since last wednesday. lets just say the fact that i look *much* better in a bikini due to my tummy being flat instead of bloated is enough to make me not want to drink at work tonight.

CuriousJ
07-26-2007, 02:54 PM
Well how did you do VS ? We are here to help if we can but I think mostly to get you over the hump thats the hardest part . Try to at least cut back a bit. Cold turkey can be a tough one indeed . Just don't get down on yourself because that can be worse then the drinking itself some people need a little help with their nerves .

Andygirl
07-26-2007, 02:58 PM
Have you considered going to an AA meeting? If you actually do want to quit it seems that you might need to enlist some help. Your plan isn't exactly going according to, well, plan.

TigersMilk
07-26-2007, 03:04 PM
Sounds like asking to go on drinking probation might be your best bet.

this way they cant serve you.



Have you considered going to an AA meeting?

Both are great suggestions. This is gonna sound all preachy but you do have the power in you to stop drinking. Its finding that are you are capable of doing it is hard. Going to a meeting or two is perfectly ok..heck you can complete the whole program if you want to. I say that because I'm not sure how severe your problem is. At least you'll get to see where the road you're taking can lead you and interact with others who have been where you have been.

Furthermore, tripping up doesn't mean you're a bad person. Just means you need a little more help to squash this.

Susan Wayward
07-26-2007, 03:05 PM
Have you considered going to an AA meeting? If you actually do want to quit it seems that you might need to enlist some help. Your plan isn't exactly going according to, well, plan.
Agreed. You deserve to get yourself some help. Sometimes we can't do it on our own. That's not weakness and it doesn't mean your a bad person, just that you can't control your behavior with regard to alcohol. That's what addiction is all about, out-of-control behavior. Get some help for yourself. I've been through the same damn thing and that's what I had to do.

Much love and best to you.

dlabtot
07-27-2007, 02:46 PM
too bad you don't work in my town... both clubs limit the dancer's to one drink per hour... since that is about the rate of metabolization of alcohol it's not very easy to get drunk by accident (or on purpose, as many have complained to me)

ViolaStrings
07-29-2007, 07:27 PM
Well, let's try again this week. Working Monday through Friday.

Susan Wayward
08-03-2007, 06:59 PM
How'd it go? Sending support your way.

Kaiyla
08-03-2007, 09:10 PM
I know, I am excited to hear (hopefully) some good news. Either way, please update us on your progress Viola!

ViolaStrings
08-04-2007, 08:30 AM
No good news. I'm doing horribly in terms of drinking at work, as in I keep doing it.

I was doing fine the first half of my shift last night, so why did I cave in VIP and start drinking? It was all downhill from there.

ExoticEngineer
08-04-2007, 09:13 AM
Viola, I don't know if you said this allready or not, but is it possible to have them NOT serve you? Make you virgin drinks, etc?

And do you thnk it may be time to seek some outside help? I'm worried about you beautiful, keeping my fingers crossed for you.

lilhotmama
08-04-2007, 10:01 AM
where to start? well youve already made the biggest step acknowledging that you have a problem! and you want to do something about it. thats awesome.

what to do now? join an aa program, read up on 12 steps, do some soul searching and think about what you want out of your life. also, it is vital you remember that just b/c your father was an alcoholic you are not destined to be, the cycle breaks with now with YOU.

when i realized i was becoming an alcoholic i too felt like i was "turning" into my father. what a wake up call. its going to take strength saying no.

lilhotmama
08-04-2007, 10:06 AM
ok i see this was posted in july. i dont believe binge drinking is genetic. you can get through this b/c like everything in life its all about choices you make. maybe take time off if possible and work a job that does not involve alcohol? just for a while. or take some time off work and some time to reflect. if youre around it its going to be harder to say no. or how about work the day shift? im sure its less money but just temporarily?

britt244
08-04-2007, 10:10 AM
^ it is a fact that alcoholism/addiction can be genetic.

lilhotmama
08-04-2007, 10:28 AM
im not here to debate, this is just my view like i said i dont believe it.

cameron_keys
08-04-2007, 10:34 AM
^^ It has been scientifically proven that genetics play a part. While there is no proven DIRECT genetic link yet...which means that your genetics do not GUARENTEE you will become an addict...there is s higher risk for those with genetic markers on 51 specific chromosomes.

"Many previous studies have linked specific genes to alcoholism, but the NIDA researchers identified clusters of genetic variations in 51 chromosomal regions that they believe play a role in alcohol addiction through cell-to-cell communication, control of protein synthesis, regulation of development, and cell-to-cell interactions.
The human genome consists of approximately three million base pairs of DNA in each set of chromosomes."

Google it..theres a lot of info on this.

Susan Wayward
08-04-2007, 10:36 AM
[edit: damn, Cameron, you got me there]

Of course you're not here to debate. It's an incontrovertible scientific fact that the children of alcoholics are more likely to become alcoholics themselves; that there are genetic factors at play; and that alcoholics actually metabolize alcohol differently than non-alcoholics. This is scientific fact backed by years of research. Do you also not believe that breast cancer has a genetic component?

VS, I really encourage you to seek some outside support. Your mind and body will thank you for it.

For a really base, strippery reason to quit, how about this: in the weeks after I got sober I lost 10 pounds just from not drinking.

Kaylinn
08-04-2007, 10:58 AM
I agree that outside help might be nesessary.

I also see that you seem to be going by the week.
"Thiss week I blew it, next week I'll try again"

Maybe try going not by week, not even by day, but by hour?


Just for the next hour, I will not drink. I can't promise I won't have a drink the hour after tht, but just for this next hour, I won't drink"

Try to just get through 1 hour. If you mess up and have a drink, don't say, fuck, i blew the whole night, might as well try again tomorrow, instead say" I mesed up this hour, but that's ok, because the next hour is a new one, and I will not drink for that hour."

Hell..if you need to, break it into 15 minutes. No drinks for this 15 minutes.


VIP seems to be another issue for you. Maybe you can come up with a nice, virgin drink that is your"signature" VIP drink
Like....a pretty fruity looking thing with no alcohol. Then you can just ask fr your signature drink.


Good luck, I'm sending my support as well.

britt244
08-05-2007, 06:49 AM
blah i'm doing the same thing you are! last night i could have *banked* at work, i was doing really well at the beginning of the night. but i decided to sit in the office and talk and then go to the dressing room and sleep. i was too drunk to really talk to people, my head was spinning, and i wanted to sleep before i drove. i'm so mad at myself. >:(

ViolaStrings
08-22-2007, 12:09 PM
Ok, I gotta get back on the wagon and try to stop drinking again. I made an idiot out of myself at work last night, made way less than I could have, and tipped everyone too much so I could get out of there early bc I was so embarassed.

If you're wondering, I made an idiot out of myself in VIP. I had two guys who wanted to go back with two girls, so I grabbed this one girl I thought they might like. I was trying to get them to get an hour instead of a half hour, so I was rubbing the inside of this guy's thigh when the funny money girl came along. Of course he was trying the usual drunk guy in VIP stuff (trying to grab my boobs, etc). This girl storms off and asks for her own room and narks me out to the house mom and floor guy that I'm rubbing this guy's cock and getting my tits grabbed! I got you a half hour in VIP! I did all the work on closing the sale and you're going to LIE about me?! Well, needless to say they believed the sober housegirl and not the semi new tipsy girl. UGH.

NO DRINKING AT WORK TONIGHT.

ExoticEngineer
08-22-2007, 03:53 PM
Oh VS, you can do this!!!

Write yourself a promise note, hang it in your locker, tie a string on your finger, anything to help remind you to get through one night. Then take it one night at a time.

And get some outside help VS, it's great that you want to stop, but it wont do you any good if you don't take steps toward actually stopping. Be stronger than your addictin and find someone to help you through this!

britt244
08-22-2007, 04:15 PM
^ get a breathalyzer installed in your car. can't drink then ;)

seriously, though.. i'll prob end up with one because of my dui and your car wont start even if youve had one drink.

Tart
08-22-2007, 05:12 PM
^ all cars should come with that installed.

austinatalie
08-22-2007, 05:36 PM
^^ I agree. I think that insurance companies should lower your rates if you let them do it to your car.

Bella21
08-23-2007, 12:57 AM
If your finances can handle it, you might find that getting a mainstream job (like retail) may help. It may help you simply appreciate your job more and you'll be less inclined to drink.

242_fair
08-23-2007, 11:00 AM
I started a thread on Addictions and Being Clean and Sober in Members Boards, I hope you take a look Viola!

CuriousJ
09-01-2007, 09:51 AM
I see that you made your money plan for the month now if you could only focus on this problem with the same intensity you could rule the world . I just worry about you honey and I hope you can work (balance) this all out .;)