View Full Version : how do i stop attracting assholes?
so how do i stop getting these guys? i'm like a magnet for assholes!
On the flip side, you have no idea how hard it is for the nice guys to have to watch the girl of his dreams date every loser, shit bad, and a-hole that comes along and he gets ignored. Most guys know nice guys often finish last and see all the time the jerks/a-holes get the girl. Been there done that...
Here's a true story. Back in the day I had the hots for the girl. She was a 10, smart, funny, etc. The guy she was dating was a total loser, no jovb, ex con, drug issues, etc. She was known for dating losers. When she became single I asked her out. We went out on three dates. Had a nice time. She then told other people she was pretty sure I was gay because after three dates, I had not jumped her. I had a good laugh over that. Moral is, she was so used to having a-holes try and get her clohtes off in the first few dates, guys who didnt (after three whole dates no less!) must be gay. I though it was sad and told her as much and that was the end of our dating.
She tried calling a few times after that but I had lost my interest and went back to looking for the gals that appreciated the respect of guys who didnt have 10 hands after a few dates....
snoopy
07-30-2007, 04:47 PM
14. Watches "That's So Raven" by himself...and by himself I mean it's still not cool if his buddies are with him. I mean without the presence of pre-teen cousins or sisters (the only acceptable company) who he offered to baby-sit because he's just that kinda guythis one i didn't understand. oh, i hate the show. i always have to negotiate with my daughter on it but i don't quite understand the badness of watching it if you happen to like it (blech!).
i mean, i like Ned's Declassified and i can tolerate Zack & Cody (if i grit my teeth). That's So Raven is just that's so lame imho. double-blech.
On the flip side, you have no idea how hard it is for the nice guys to have to watch the girl of his dreams date every loser, shit bad, and a-hole that comes along and he gets ignored.looking back on my life i realized that that door swings both ways. i've ignored/overlooked many a "nice girl" while i went out with the pretty one.
unfortunately for me.
diamonds in the rough are overlooked on both sides. not just the female side. like previously mentioned, i believe we all need to look beyond our usual hunting grounds and don't be afraid/resistant to try some new flavors. ;)
She tried calling a few times after that but I had lost my interest and went back to looking for the gals...i'm sorry maybe it's just me but that doesn't seem very nice.
nikita
07-30-2007, 05:13 PM
I think it was more of an inside joke of hers. But I just copied and pasted
Paris
07-30-2007, 06:21 PM
I used to have the same problem. It was that I didn't feel like I was "good enough" for the nice guys, like I didn't deserve to be treated well.
I got over it. I woke up one day and asked myself "Do I want to stay married to this jerk for the rest of my life?" After discovering that I had indeed married a jerk, he was just nicer than other jerks I ha dated in the past.
I was 25 years old and realized that I might have another 50 years of wedded misery ahead of me.:boxedin:
I spent a year in marriage counselling to later have the councilor ask me "Why are you still married to this guy? He is totally beneath you in so many ways." After my ex and I separated.
I was afraid to be alone and I was also afraid to be completely rejected by a guy others would have considered "in my league".
I got over it, met and married a wonderfully respectful, educated, hard working, stunningly good-looking man.
I almost f*cked it up, too. But we got through and are happier than ever. I almost lost him because of self sabotage (I totally see it now, but didn't see it back then).
UtahMike
07-30-2007, 11:22 PM
I think the Britt I've come to know on SW is a pretty great girl, very nice and very sweet. I kinda think that since we can hide behind a layer of anonymity on the Internet, people tend to show their real self. It's possible to do this without being hurt, because nobody knows who you really are.
Is the persona you present here the one you present to guys you meet? I think that a guy who would help you when your new cat is scared and won't come out from under the bed would have potential for a possible relationship. But it takes courage to show real people the real you because it is so easy to be hurt once you open up to someone.
BTW, I don't think owning a cat is a bad thing for a guy. Whoever said that must not like cats, or guys, or both.
KiwiDan
07-31-2007, 02:11 AM
Hmm I haven't read all of the replies Brit244 but it's not you choosing assholes. but the asshole 'winning' you. He has the balls to go after you and get you somehow.
My advice is either. Change your screening process of guys. ie: don't fall for their lines. If you have a night off and are heading to pubs/clubs then don't dress yourself up too much. Nice guys might be imtimadated and/or drool to much to actually approach you.
Try looking somewhere else. Any guy any where that you think is cute then talk to him. Try speed dateing. 15 guys who generally don't have either the time or can't meet women in bars. (Big overstatement but which guy is guna kill me for that?)
Join Denise Richards and pay someone $57,000 to find your love.
britt244
08-03-2007, 06:31 PM
I used to have the same problem. It was that I didn't feel like I was "good enough" for the nice guys, like I didn't deserve to be treated well.
I got over it, met and married a wonderfully respectful, educated, hard working, stunningly good-looking man.
I almost f*cked it up, too. But we got through and are happier than ever. I almost lost him because of self sabotage (I totally see it now, but didn't see it back then).
i think on some level that's how i am, like i dont deserve the nice ones. i look for guys with girlfriends a lot because then i dont have to justify it when they dont want me.
I think the Britt I've come to know on SW is a pretty great girl, very nice and very sweet. I kinda think that since we can hide behind a layer of anonymity on the Internet, people tend to show their real self. It's possible to do this without being hurt, because nobody knows who you really are.
Is the persona you present here the one you present to guys you meet? I think that a guy who would help you when your new cat is scared and won't come out from under the bed would have potential for a possible relationship. But it takes courage to show real people the real you because it is so easy to be hurt once you open up to someone.
BTW, I don't think owning a cat is a bad thing for a guy. Whoever said that must not like cats, or guys, or both.
you just made me smile so big! thank you for that ;D and its my birthday too hehe so yay! i do think i show guys different parts of me but not everything.. like since i started dancing and i could be someone else whenever i wanted, i kind of carried that over into "real" life. i also realized that i pick a few guys to hang out with at once, and i like different parts of all of them. like one is the funny guy, one is super intense, etc. that way i can go to whoever i want for whatever i want, but i never have to be stuck to one person. :-\
i dont think owning a cat is bad for a guy, either! when i do find a nice guy he better like them! (owning one might be too much for my poor kitty, haha, he doesnt need to smell another animal on me! :P )
Paris
08-03-2007, 06:38 PM
On the flip side, you have no idea how hard it is for the nice guys to have to watch the girl of his dreams date every loser, shit bad, and a-hole that comes along and he gets ignored. Most guys know nice guys often finish last and see all the time the jerks/a-holes get the girl. Been there done that...
You are confusing "nice" and loser. A guy that says he's a nice guy is usually code for doormat.
Not meaning that this applies to you (I don't know you), but the movie "Swingers" is a perfect example of doormat vs. asshole dating stereo-types.
I also should add that I don't waste time on guys that don't want to put out on the first date. If he is going to go all morally superior on me, then I know that he is a total waste of my time. If there is no action by the third date then we are "just friends".;D
RandomUser
08-03-2007, 11:38 PM
Matchmakers.
In old China, the perspective male had to be able to stand on his head, lose gracefully at MahJong, and like his family.