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BlueJeanBaby
08-10-2007, 03:45 AM
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

the suspense is killing me.

Dear God,

Please let this girl have some sense and realize her bf is a douche and that dottie was helping her out big time. In addition, it would be really nice if it turns into Dottie's described Thelma and Louise (without the death, please) situation.

Thank you,

Me

Crow2
08-10-2007, 05:29 AM
Christ. What is it with guys? They can't even TRY to be deceitful in a smart way. Derh.

I'm waiting with baited breath too.

Hopefully his girl will at least question him about it
* crosses fingers and waits *

StrawberrySwitchblade
08-10-2007, 07:44 AM
C'mon! Suspense is murder! Anything back yet, Dottie?!

Taylorlila
08-10-2007, 08:33 AM
BAH! He probably filled her with a load of BS, called Dottie a psycho-liar, and told his girl to block her (I've been there...not with MySpace, but with regular Yahoo). Maybe she should've sent the note anyway. Hurry UP, girlfriend!!!

yeah I think thats the most likely story.

wildcherry2002
08-10-2007, 09:41 AM
damn that guy is really stupid man i beat his ass if i was her dude! you go girl

Chrissy68
08-10-2007, 11:44 AM
dottie, you rock!!!

*summons emily to this thread...*

Gretchen
08-10-2007, 11:45 AM
Perhaps if she doesn't respond you could message her the link to this thread and show her that its not BS and that a bunch of women folk are rooting for her to dump the douchebag?

The suspense is killing me. I'm doubting she'll respond and that her bf has brainwashed her already. Poor girl.

Emily
08-10-2007, 11:48 AM
dottie, you rock!!!

*summons emily to this thread...*
I jsut went through a little of this myself!

to her:
Matt is my ex-boyfriend and I know you've been his girlfriend for awhile. Seriously, I'm okay with that. We didn't work out. But I thought you should know that he's constantly trying to hook up with me. I am not interested and I constantly bitch at him for even asking. I even ask him about you and he either ignores the question or says you guys are having problems. Like you make fun of him for his shirt, or stuff like that...and he can't stand how immature you are. Not saying this to be mean, but just an example.

So when I was looking at his myspace, I saw that you posted comments that show that you are very serious him. I asked my girlfriends if they would want to know if their boyfriends were trying to hook up with an ex, and they said yes....so that's why I'm doing this. I would want to know too.

You can either ignore this or ask him about it (though I'm sure he'll deny it), but he's constantly trying to get me over to take a ride in his new car, play with his new iphone, etc. He asked me out to dinner when I came home from a month-long vacation in May.

You seem nice. Too good for him. So just be careful.


her reply:


I am just not sure why you are telling me all of this now...I mean I have been with Matt for a year now. He also told me in the past (prior to this email) that you two only dated for a few weeks or a month or two at most. He also told me some other things which I will refrain from saying.

If you are going to say he asked you to go to dinner or what not, where did he ask you to go and when was it? I guess it would help if I had more specifics. I basically live with Matt and have access to everything he does, that is the only reason I am asking. I share everything with him including various accounts, phone, etc and vice versa. He also done things for me which previous boyfriends have NEVER done for me, again I won't go into detail but in my opinion, he goes above and beyond the expectations of a typical relationship.

my reply
The reason I'm telling you all this now is because of all the stuff I saw on his myspace from you. I really wanted to mind my own business because I couldn't see any reason to butt in since the way he was acting, I didn't think you'd ever go anywhere. I can't imagine the things he said about me, but he didn't really paint you in the most flattering light to me either.

But if I was hoping to marry a guy, as you clearly are now, then I'd want to know this kind of thing. That's why now. I am actually a good person and I felt a moral obligation to tell you. You can feel free to delude yourself, but there's tons of stuff I can show/tell you that will make your heart sink. He probably has it all over his phone records (my number is 215-xxx-xxxx if you have them) or his Adium transcripts of our AOL conversations. He texted me around July 8th a few times to brag about his new phone and that I should come over and see it. You'll probably find this on his latest statement.

When he asked me out to dinner, it wasn't a specific place. It was May 19th and he called me and I told him no, but he said he's really into Indian food now amd wanted to do that. I think Cafe Spice in the city. If you have his phone records for that day, you'll see he called me. I remember it because I was on vacation for a long time prior and kept sending me e-mails telling me he missed me and stuff like that while I was away.

And we were together for 7 months! Nov 2005- June 2006. It ended up not working because he could never accept that I'm a stripper. I like my job and I'm not ashamed of it, but he'd rather me be an engineer again. I used to do that just like him and I was miserable. I know he can be a great guy and I totally get what you're saying, which is why I was even considering quitting. Every time we'd fight, it was always about me being a dancer. I think he could actually accept it, but he was so worried what everyone else would think. It drove me crazy that he would care so much about that, but I knew I'd never be happy and eventually decided to break up with him.

It's been over a year and he still is contacting me regularly about it. He's not interested in being with me as long as I dance, but he still wants to have sex. Like if I ever agree to see him as "friends" he'll ask me what I'm going to wear and stuff. So I turn him down.

I can't imagine what he's said about me, but at the same time, I'm sure it's all nasty. Of course. I'm the ex-girlfriend, and all ex-gfs are psycho bitches from hell.

Just remember I have nothing to gain from this. I didn't suddenly realize a year later that I have to have him. I just wanted to get it out because it was the right thing to do. What you do with the information is up to you. Honestly, I can see why you'd rather believe his lie than my truth and if I were in your shoes, I might do the same. But the truth is the truth and if you really wanted to find it out, you would have snooped or gave me a chance to set him up. But you asked him about it first and gave him a chance to delete everything on his computer and be in defense mode if I suddenly want to hang out with him. So it shows where your head is at. Even though I have tons of proof that he's been up to this with me, does it really matter?

JustJayda
08-10-2007, 12:03 PM
Well played Emily. I just wish more women (the "girlfriends") would be mature enough to give the info they are getting some serious consideration.

I lost a very close girlfriend in a similar situation (I told her what her "man" was doing). This kinda thing sucks, you try to help people to avoid heartache, and possible std's, and they just refuse to believe you, proof and all.

Still and all, I'm one of the women that would want to know, and would certainly take steps to find out the truth, w/o being a bitch toward the informant.

Emily
08-10-2007, 12:07 PM
she wasn't being a bitch to me, just being delusional. it's all true (of course!) and her boyfriend actually admitted it, but played it down. I deleted most of the "proof", but he didn't know that.

he called me to whine, "how could you do this to me? This is not like you. L and I were having problems, but I want to spend the rest of my life with her now and she doesn't trust me anymore! we have to talk!"

waaaaaah
douchebag

rozz
08-10-2007, 03:50 PM
^^^About the same thing happened to me a few weeks ago. My ex's gf called and wanted to know what was going on, if he was still contacting me, etc. But when I told her what I could, she decided to tune it out. Bah, whatever.

BlueJeanBaby
08-10-2007, 04:23 PM
yeah that happened to me aswell a few days ago...a male friend of mine over in England has been trying to get in my pants for a long time.. for a while he didn't tell me he was back with his gf...finally I find out and he proceeds to tell me about the times he cheats on her and all this shit. Believe me I called him out on his shit, which hurt his wittle feelings..

A few days ago they break up, and lo and behold I get a myspace message from his now ex (who is a nut, btw) saying "I HOPE YOU TWO ARE HAPPY BLAH BLAH I HOPE YOU USE A CONDOM HE'S DIRTY BLAH BLAH"...i messaged her back telling her he was just a friend, and that I don't condone anything he has done to her, and told her my story with my ex. And gave her advice because the poor girl was DEVASTATED over the breakup.

Things turned out well though, she ended up liking me because I wasn't the bitch she thought I would be.

The guy was actually shocked that I told him to get lost when he started telling me about cheating on her left and right. He was like "but, I'm being honest with you because I love you, doesn't that count for something?"

Optimist
08-10-2007, 05:06 PM
I did the opposite and didn't tell my friend about her snaky guy. I thought I was doing her a favor and my stern talks with him would straighten him out. It didn't work and she was pissed at me for not telling her. He was cheating left and right. Damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Dottie Rebel
08-11-2007, 01:58 AM
Fuck this. What a dumb girl. She won't add me and hasn't responded. She's been online, too.

Why did I ever expect that she would be grateful? Of course not! I'm sure she ran right to him to confront him (like a dumbass) and he denied it, called me psycho, and deleted all the proof. Why restructure your whole life and everything you've built just because the man you want to marry cannot be trusted? Details, details.

So while part of me thinks these two dumbasses deserve eachother and are saving two decent people from getting mixed up with either of them, mostly I am disgusted and frightened because both of their pages proclaim that they want children. Yep, someday these two are going to breed. And that's what's the MOST fucked up about this situation, IMO. Deceit and denial make for really fucking functional familes.

I shouldn't be, but I'm really pissed about this.

Emily, your story made me shitty. Where the fuck is sisterhood? Can't these women appreciate us taking them aside and saying, "Hey, girl...be careful here."

Are women just that distrustful of each other and our intentions, or is the war against singlehood so incredibly powerful that we're willing to count the loss of our own happiness as collateral damage?

Tart
08-11-2007, 02:03 AM
With all due respect, there are really insane women out there that make shit up. I know because they have found time to look me up and begin some insane lie fest.

there are more do badders out there than do gooders. And personally if I had gotten the email you had sent, I would have chewed on it a few days..then waited till the next big blow out fight to bring the shit up.

But anyone with any common sense knows, there is always a bit of truth in even a lil' bit of fiction ..

Yah she probably did run off and confront him and you are right in the assumption he claimed you were fucking crazy.

But hey it still earns you karma points.

Kaylinn
08-11-2007, 02:14 AM
I have a story of my own to add:

I met this guy at a bar or somethign and he asked me out. SO we went out to dinner. It was a nice date. Good restraunt, good conversation...he didn't exactly make me shiver, but I had no complaints. I decided not to go out with him again, simply because he just didn't do anythign for me.

Abotu a month later, I get a phone call from this girl, and she asks if I know so and so...I said no.....I just didn't remember his name. So after she described it a bit more, I remembered, and said oh yeah! him We went out to dinner.

She said She was his fiance, 7 months pregnant, and found my number on his phoen bill, and she asked if we had sex, what we did that night...
I said all we did was dinner. She asked if it was italian. I said yes. She said, he brought me home the leftovers.
Asshole!

I told her everything, althgouh there wasn't much to tell, and told her is they were engaged and she was pregnant..she was dumb to stay with a man who activly dated other women. He did not try to sleep with me, but I'm sure he would have if I had gone out with him again.

I hope everythign worked out for her....

Mily
08-11-2007, 02:20 AM
I said all we did was dinner. She asked if it was italian. I said yes. She said, he brought me home the leftovers.

That's just fucked up! :O

Madcap
08-11-2007, 02:24 AM
Fuck this. What a dumb girl. She won't add me and hasn't responded. She's been online, too.

Why did I ever expect that she would be grateful? Of course not! I'm sure she ran right to him to confront him (like a dumbass) and he denied it, called me psycho, and deleted all the proof. Why restructure your whole life and everything you've built just because the man you want to marry cannot be trusted? Details, details.

So while part of me thinks these two dumbasses deserve eachother and are saving two decent people from getting mixed up with either of them, mostly I am disgusted and frightened because both of their pages proclaim that they want children. Yep, someday these two are going to breed. And that's what's the MOST fucked up about this situation, IMO. Deceit and denial make for really fucking functional familes.

I shouldn't be, but I'm really pissed about this.

Emily, your story made me shitty. Where the fuck is sisterhood? Can't these women appreciate us taking them aside and saying, "Hey, girl...be careful here."

Are women just that distrustful of each other and our intentions, or is the war against singlehood so incredibly powerful that we're willing to count the loss of our own happiness as collateral damage?

Dot, why would she do such a thing? You ain't real. You're an e-girl. Her BF is real. I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanted to say this but everyone was all "you go girl." She'll learn. This WILL be tossed in his face. I know you chicks, you never forget.

You tried to help her out, Dot, and you did. She just don't right know it yet. She will. She got half a brain, she will.




-----------------------------------------------------


Emily~

I've never had a g-g-girlfriend in my life. Y-y-you seem like as hawt bich. Yer titys look niec. Can i stik my dik betwen them? I hav a gf but she dont kno. I am fli. U will lik me. Can i met u? Cum f-f-fuk me.

I kno we are m-m-meant to b 2gether.

Chrissy68
08-11-2007, 02:36 AM
im seriously losing hope in men right now as i read these stories. it makes me wonder lots right now...

and madcap... lmao.

Madcap
08-11-2007, 02:53 AM
im seriously losing hope in men right now as i read these stories. it makes me wonder lots right now...

and madcap... lmao.

I love how i'm in a "I hate men" but madcap lol post.

My day officially rocks.

BrunetteGoddess
08-11-2007, 03:48 AM
Fuck this. What a dumb girl. She won't add me and hasn't responded. She's been online, too.

Why did I ever expect that she would be grateful? Of course not! I'm sure she ran right to him to confront him (like a dumbass) and he denied it, called me psycho, and deleted all the proof. Why restructure your whole life and everything you've built just because the man you want to marry cannot be trusted? Details, details.

So while part of me thinks these two dumbasses deserve eachother and are saving two decent people from getting mixed up with either of them, mostly I am disgusted and frightened because both of their pages proclaim that they want children. Yep, someday these two are going to breed. And that's what's the MOST fucked up about this situation, IMO. Deceit and denial make for really fucking functional familes.

I shouldn't be, but I'm really pissed about this.

Emily, your story made me shitty. Where the fuck is sisterhood? Can't these women appreciate us taking them aside and saying, "Hey, girl...be careful here."

Are women just that distrustful of each other and our intentions, or is the war against singlehood so incredibly powerful that we're willing to count the loss of our own happiness as collateral damage?

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink....

Andygirl
08-11-2007, 07:53 AM
I have a story of my own to add:

I met this guy at a bar or somethign and he asked me out. SO we went out to dinner. It was a nice date. Good restraunt, good conversation...he didn't exactly make me shiver, but I had no complaints. I decided not to go out with him again, simply because he just didn't do anythign for me.

Abotu a month later, I get a phone call from this girl, and she asks if I know so and so...I said no.....I just didn't remember his name. So after she described it a bit more, I remembered, and said oh yeah! him We went out to dinner.

She said She was his fiance, 7 months pregnant, and found my number on his phoen bill, and she asked if we had sex, what we did that night...
I said all we did was dinner. She asked if it was italian. I said yes. She said, he brought me home the leftovers.
Asshole!

I told her everything, althgouh there wasn't much to tell, and told her is they were engaged and she was pregnant..she was dumb to stay with a man who activly dated other women. He did not try to sleep with me, but I'm sure he would have if I had gone out with him again.

I hope everythign worked out for her....

I had almost the identical thing happen to me. This was years ago, but I had met this good-looking guy in a bar and he and I screwed a couple of times. There wasn't much more to the relationship, but he would call me all of the time, etc.

One day my phone rings and on caller ID it's his number so I answer it. To my surprise (actually, I probably wasn't too surprised), it was his wife. She was very calm, asked me who I was, etc. and why my number was on her husband's phone. I told her that one of her husband's friends must have used his phone to call me, that I met her hubby through his friend. Then I heard her crying and she started telling me that they had been married for five years, had a child together and she was pregnant with the second. She was very worried that he was cheating on her, I could just hear the desperation in her voice.

So, despite the fact that I had covered for her snake-in-the-grass husband, I sat there and talked to this woman and basically told her to trust her intuition. Without outrightly saying it, I pretty much told her that he was a cheater. I guess I didn't see the point in coming clean to her about he and I. She was towards the end of her pregnancy and I figured it would only serve to upset her more.

Hopefully she's left him by now. I don't think people really change, especially cheaters.

The next day, this guy called me and I told him about the conversation I had with his wife and also told him never to call me again or I'd call her up and spill the beans on every detail. Of course, that worked and he never called again. I always wonder what happened with that situation.

Yekhefah
08-11-2007, 08:10 AM
There is the possibility that the jerk boyfriend was looking at the girl's MySpace and she never saw Dottie's message. I hope that's not what happened, but it could be.

jaizaine
08-11-2007, 09:23 AM
Da Nile is a river in Egypt.

Budai
08-11-2007, 09:35 AM
Da Nile is a river in Egypt.

;D :yes:



Hey Dottie The Body!

Your ongoing thread inspired my "Gaslight Effect" thread (see below). This guy may just be toying with the lady you tried to help. If so, she's lost already...

"Gaslighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn't and to believe the unbelieveable. It can happen to you and it probably already has...

Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. That's because it plays into one of our worst fears - of being abandoned - and many of our deepest needs: to be understood, appreciated, and loved."

Dottie Rebel
08-11-2007, 11:05 AM
Interesting, Budai!

Anyone think I should send her this?

I should just drop it, shouldn't I?

Fuck.

Madcap
08-11-2007, 11:08 AM
Drop it, dot. You did what you could.

britt244
08-11-2007, 11:09 AM
not to be bitchy or anything.. but yeah, i think you should drop it. for all you know she couldve broken up with him, confronted him, whatever. even if she didn't, you don't know this girl. so she's stupid enough to stay with someone like that. what good could possibly come of sending her another message? if it were me, i might not reply to something like that either, but that doesn't mean i'd ignore it.

Optimist
08-11-2007, 11:26 AM
That Gaslight article desrves to be a thread!!! Ha! Reminds me of my last boyfriend! It can't hurt to send the link but she may be too embarrassed to respond.

Emily
08-11-2007, 11:28 AM
Interesting, Budai!

Anyone think I should send her this?

I should just drop it, shouldn't I?

Fuck.

yeah. drop it. I did.

Like I said to the girl I was trying to warn....she could have done so many things, but she reached for the answer that would make her feel good. It shows where her head is at and there's no room for logic.

britt244
08-11-2007, 11:46 AM
^ but.. who cares? that's kind of her problem. you did what you could, ya know? it isn't any of our places to force it down someone's throat.

Emily
08-11-2007, 11:54 AM
yeah, I have given up on her

Madcap
08-11-2007, 11:57 AM
^^ aww :(

ExoticEngineer
08-11-2007, 12:17 PM
Yes Dottie, drop it. It sucks to know that there is a guy out there getting away with something like that, but you did what you could do. And it shows what amazing character you have for actually caring enough to keep trying.

You're a good person Dottie.

Damn, it's hard enough getting girls you are friend with to see the light about bad things in their life, but a total stranger? next to impossible.

AlexxaHex
08-11-2007, 12:33 PM
If she doesn't see the truth and wants to keep her head in the sand, then she deserves him, IMO. You did something nice for her. She refused to accept the gift - her loss.

Circe
08-11-2007, 02:58 PM
Or keep at it and send her this link :D

I was afraid this was going to happen, but I suspected it might. Often when girls are so enamoured of their boyfriends to the point of putting up extra cutesy photos of their coupledom, they won't listen. Shatters the illusion.


Or hey, maybe they sleep with people on the side as part of their arrangement. I really don't think it's the case, but it's possible...:O

blayze
08-11-2007, 07:46 PM
OR you could be an uber bitch about it, agree to go on a date with him, and also set up a meeting with her... at the same place... only maybe half an hour later... while he's starting to try and get fresh with you...

but then she'd peg you for trying to steal her boyfriend blah blah blah...

but it really depends on what your motivations for all of it is. if its to break them up becuase you think she's better than that, it'd do the trick, you might not get a friend out of it, but it might accomplish your goal.
and if the goal is to ruin his relationship, out of spite for yourself, well... then maybe you need to move on? but it might still be fun to do. *shrug* but then maybe i'm an evil cunt and like doing things like that?

Dottie Rebel
08-11-2007, 07:48 PM
^^^I just want to ruin him, because I believe him to be a turd.

Is that evil? So be it! }:D

ViolaStrings
08-11-2007, 08:10 PM
^^^I just want to ruin him, because I believe him to be a turd.

Is that evil? So be it! }:D

You've come this far. I say keep going.

Dottie Rebel
08-11-2007, 08:25 PM
Thank you Viola and Blayze, my sisters of the gratuitous evil.

Obviously, this is not all about her. Fuck her if she's stupid. It's about me needing some drama and a chance to dispense some retribution and him needing a karmic beatdown.

Oh, god. I just messaged him pretending to be intriuged by this dashing paramour. It's probably too late now, but just in case it isn't...

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

ViolaStrings
08-11-2007, 08:28 PM
Thank you Viola and Blayze, my sisters of the gratuitous evil.

Obviously, this is not all about her. Fuck her if she's stupid. It's about me needing some drama and a chance to dispense some retribution and him needing a karmic beatdown.

Oh, god. I just messaged him pretending to be intriuged by this dashing paramour. It's probably too late now, but just in case it isn't...

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

Seriously, anger keeps me warm sometimes :D
Go to your angry place!

miss marina
08-11-2007, 08:28 PM
lol..i cant wait to see what happens!!

Dottie Rebel
08-11-2007, 08:34 PM
I am a bad person.

At least I am providing entertainment for myself and others.

Madcap
08-11-2007, 09:14 PM
not to be bitchy or anything.. but yeah, i think you should drop it. for all you know she couldve broken up with him, confronted him, whatever. even if she didn't, you don't know this girl. so she's stupid enough to stay with someone like that. what good could possibly come of sending her another message? if it were me, i might not reply to something like that either, but that doesn't mean i'd ignore it.


Did i seem bitchy, i didn't mean to.


I am a bad person.


No, you are a person who gave it her best shot. Trust me, she got a brain this'll be back of it long time. It's one mounting piece of evidence. He done it once, there's more. You DID help her. She just might not right know it yet.

Why would you think or say you were a bad person for trying to help someone? Please don't do that (and, yes, this is me telling a dancer how to live her life). You'd be a bad person if you'd sat on it... or replied to it... But that ain't you, is it?

Jenny
08-11-2007, 09:27 PM
I shouldn't be, but I'm really pissed about this.

Emily, your story made me shitty. Where the fuck is sisterhood? Can't these women appreciate us taking them aside and saying, "Hey, girl...be careful here."

Are women just that distrustful of each other and our intentions, or is the war against singlehood so incredibly powerful that we're willing to count the loss of our own happiness as collateral damage?
I see what you are saying, because in your case, from your point of view it is so obviously true. But me, I can tell that I've never been in a relationship - ever - in which I would not, absolutely, 100%, positively and without question believe my SO over some strange girl on the internet. I think trusting your boyfriend over a strange girl texting you is the normal thing to do; it's a shame that some guys are douchebags, but that is not going to control my life either.

jaizaine
08-11-2007, 11:31 PM
I am a bad person.

At least I am providing entertainment for myself and others.

I thank u for this because I am finding it entertaining.

blayze
08-12-2007, 01:13 AM
so?? hatch any evil plot yet?}:D }:D }:D

britt244
08-12-2007, 06:48 AM
Did i seem bitchy, i didn't mean to.

huh? no.

Crow2
08-12-2007, 06:53 AM
You know, I think you should just fuck him up. Just for some sort of selfish retribution of all the times some dumb-ass male has done something like this.

Just to say.
rawrgh. haha, you all can't get away with it.

saphire123456
08-12-2007, 08:13 AM
yeah, i vote for- get that f*cker,
to play devil's advocate thou, i can see where the gf could be coming from. One minute you're warm and comfortable, and planning your life and your 2.5 future children, and the next, smne tells you smthg like that.... That might be a hard illusion to let go, so much easier to just shrug it off on "psycho girl" instead of building a bondfire of his crap on your lawn}:D