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View Full Version : Pulling my skin off and other kinds of self abuse



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LilSweetVixen
08-26-2007, 12:28 PM
I pluck hairs off of my chin and neck. Now I have scars on my neck, but they're not really noticeable because my chin covers them unless I lift my head up. But the other things like shaving skin and head banging sound unusual and dangerous!

242_fair
08-26-2007, 03:43 PM
Molly does not want help.

She just wants attention.

LuckiCharm
08-26-2007, 03:57 PM
Molly does not want help.

She just wants attention.

Hopefully that's not true!!!

mollyzmoon
08-26-2007, 04:16 PM
Molly does not want help.

She just wants attention.

Sorry if it all gets so exasperating and frustrating. I won't post this stuff anymore. I am as disgusted with myself as you are, believe me.

scarlett_vancouver
08-26-2007, 04:20 PM
242_Fair, fuck off.

She doesn't just want attention, she wants to understand what's going on. Acknowledgement maybe, answers maybe.

Don't kick a girl when she's down.

242_fair
08-26-2007, 04:27 PM
When it became obvious that my drama was (at least partially) self-inflicted, and I was not taking responsibility for my fucked-up-ness, girls called me on my shit.

And I didn't like to hear it at the time, but some of them were right.

I had the ability to help myself, but I wasn't.

Unfortunately, for her problems, we cannot offer help. We can only offer attention. And that is not going to help her.

Actually, it may make things worse. Because she feels like she is addressing things by venting here, but really nothing is being addressed in a meaningful way.

So thats all I will say and I will leave this thread.

austinatalie
08-26-2007, 05:05 PM
So, in other words, you are trying tough love to help molly?

In a way I agree. Molly, don't get sucked into the illusion that talking about it on here is helping you get any further. I do think you have a serious problem and you need to get professional help immediately.

scarlett_vancouver
08-26-2007, 05:24 PM
I agree that tough love would be effective...if we were in the position to give it to her. But as a group of mostly anonymous people, all we can offer is support. Imagine dealing with all this stuff and no one to talk to??

Habinairo
08-26-2007, 07:44 PM
When I was younger I was a slasher, my chest arms stomach and legs got it. I had pages of notebooks covered in blood. I had a rage issue, and serious rage. That was the only thing that brought me "out" of it and back to reality. The only thing that stopped me was getting pregnant. Stupid as that was. But, when I got pregnant, I knew my body wasn't mine anymore but my baby's. It was really hard to learn how to deal with my anger and the rage that would blow up in my face. And after I had my daughter, it was really hard not to go back to it to deal. But, I had to for her. We do weird things to help cope, and it sucks when we need to learn how to deal and understand ourselves without any help from our coping skills or medication. And just because I had my daughter and that helped me, doesn't mean it was any easier because I had to hide it from everyone for fear that she would have been taken away.
I think getting to know why and who you really are is a way that can help you deal with things better. And maybe seeing a counsellor or psychiatrist will help. At least, to vent and get someone who knows what they're talking about to give some advice or other coping skills. It may take a few (some I've spoken to did nothing but make me feel like shit), but you will find a gem that will help you sort everything out.
Good luck!

Tart
08-26-2007, 07:50 PM
^ i agree. So much of that post makes sense.
Rage issues manifest in strange ways. My youngest son has been caught before smacking his own face. But it's been very few times and when he's gotten in HUGE trouble for getting aggressive with the eldest over a game etc.

I've never been a cutter but i've often seriously considered it so Id stop doing my food freakouts .

My entire eating disorder comes along with rage. thats why right now it's off the charts bad.

its all about coping molly. But it's also a lot about being able to over ride the URGE to mutilate etc. I think the urge is the worst part of it all. What helped me was screaming ..thank god I live in the city haha no one notices the woman at 5 am in the alley just screaming her ass off for a few seconds

You can always just scream in a pillow , I do that more often than not and then usually the crying comes after and you feel SO much better. i've done hair pulling too out of uncontrollable rage .

Pills I think can calm you down and make you focus but learning coping skills makes a bigger impact.

Habinairo
08-26-2007, 07:57 PM
^^^ Tart you reminded me of a friend's mom who told me one time when she found me in her bathroom. She looked at me while cleaning me up and said.
"This was me years back. Then I found my corn field. I would walk until I got lost in it, then scream, scream until my voice broke. I'd break the corn, throw it around and lose it. We just need to help you find your corn field."

It became my saying for a long time afterward. If I got that feeling, and it was coming fast, I'd quickly yell out to anyone who'd hear, "Where's my cornfield?!?!?!?!" Funny thing, it made me feel better just thinking it.

Molly, we need to find you a corn field. And I think you should have one nearby, hearing you talk about horses, you're right beside me, we up in country here!