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View Full Version : STALKER-plz read-it's kinda long but i need advice plzz



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britt244
08-31-2007, 03:10 PM
^ i understand that, but like when i had someone stalking me, not this serious but still, girls just couldnt understand why i didnt do what they said. i COULDNT move. i COULDNT break my lease and i COULDNT get into a new place right away. it literally wasnt possible, thats all im saying. i filed police reports repeatedly and carried mace and made sure to be one the phone when i was walking inside and checking everything, but thats all i could do.

AlexxaHex
08-31-2007, 03:11 PM
I hope she's okay too. Please keep us updated.

jasmine
08-31-2007, 04:53 PM
^ i understand that, but like when i had someone stalking me, not this serious but still, girls just couldnt understand why i didnt do what they said. i COULDNT move. i COULDNT break my lease and i COULDNT get into a new place right away. it literally wasnt possible, thats all im saying.

Yeah, I said the same. Until I was attacked. Suddenly I could. I moved in with a friend across town for a while. Broke my lease. My landlord threatened to sue, but it was to expensive. Cut my hair chin length, went from dark brown to blonde, and started wearing glasses I didn't need.

It was horrible to have to ask for help and sleep on a couch for a while. I also lost almost all my stuff (landlord locked me out when I told him I was leaving, and my stuff was "stolen"), and lived on Ramen noodles for a while. Things were really tough, I was damn near homeless. But hey, I'm still here.

Alaska
08-31-2007, 05:38 PM
Yea, there's always cars to live in, and taxis to take you to a shelter if you don't. Americans have this thing about stuff like that...

AlexxaHex
08-31-2007, 05:47 PM
Yeah, I said the same. Until I was attacked. Suddenly I could. I moved in with a friend across town for a while. Broke my lease. My landlord threatened to sue, but it was to expensive. Cut my hair chin length, went from dark brown to blonde, and started wearing glasses I didn't need.

It was horrible to have to ask for help and sleep on a couch for a while. I also lost almost all my stuff (landlord locked me out when I told him I was leaving, and my stuff was "stolen"), and lived on Ramen noodles for a while. Things were really tough, I was damn near homeless. But hey, I'm still here.

And thriving I might add - now you have a beautiful baby! You did the right thing for sure. Unfortunately too many girls don't follow advice by listening to the experiences of others until things get too crazy and there is no way out.

kandie_kitten
08-31-2007, 06:49 PM
What do you mean by factors that made you "literally" unable?

Did someone have a gun your head, not allowing you to move?

Where you paralyzed and unable to walk?

Because I don't care what lease you have, you are physically able to pack up your shit and call a cab. You can deal with all the other stuff later.

Take life seriously, and DO something about it. Sitting and hoping is the same as sitting and waiting to be attacked.

dollyrocker
08-31-2007, 09:27 PM
I pm'd BD the other day and still haven't received a response. I'm kinda worried as well.

miss marina
08-31-2007, 10:35 PM
I hope she is OK. Update us when you get the chance, hopefully your moving and dont have internet or something!

fifi
08-31-2007, 11:20 PM
I once read an article where a therapist said one of the most important things you can do is get out of your home and into a new living situation as soon as possible. When something like this happened to me (ex boyfriend) I went and stayed at my best friend's house. She lived at home and there was always someone with me when I was home, usually multiple people. Whenever I went out, too, for a while. I made sure I was NEVER alone. Made me feel much safer than living alone, and I'm sure would have made things a lot more difficult for me if he had considered making good on some threats. You should consider staying with family. If it means getting out of town, all the better. Leave the apartment issue to deal with later. Even if it means encuring a little debt, it's well worth it.

You can always move. Pack up and fly out to live with family. Or a friend. Or use your credit card and go into a little debt. Go to a shelter. Just get the hell out!

NinaDaisy
09-01-2007, 05:57 AM
The advice I'm about to write is more for people who actually do care enough about their life and safety to do something about it:

Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. DeBecker owns a security firm in LA that's used by movie stars, politicians, Fortune 500 CEO's and basically everyone whose life is supposedly more valuable than yours or mine. He knows what he's talking about in terms of protecting yourself.

Farrah_Holiday
09-01-2007, 07:44 AM
I'm just reading this thread..

Hopefully you're still okay..First off, I don't believe in fear, it can make you do crazy things as can obsession..You need to protect yourself and find out as much information about this guy as you can. There are plenty of websites that can help you..
But, so can DMV and the local phone book..I feel where you're coming from as far as wanting to get your boobs done. You sound like you're broke and trying to use this business to really advance yourself. If you insist on getting them done, try to crash at a friend's place or hotel out of the area..

I've had a many of stalkers, one was a really great guy or so he seemed..Would take me shopping, spend money in the club and even bought me a car. Anyway right after he purchased the car for me, the same day to be exact he started calling non fucking stop. Finally he had ran my battery down, when I got back home that evening he was in my parking lot waiting for me..His balls must've been out of control, because he drove his work truck into the side of the car, while I was trying to park. My nephew was in it ! I told him to go to the apt. and I got out of the car and tore this dude a new asshole..I let him know that you never in any fucking circumstance do anything that would harm my family and just because he'd bought me a car, he didn't buy me !

I don't want to go into a big story w/ you..So long story short you need decide to empower yourself..Get a gun, hell get a couple, keep them in various places in your home where only you know where they are and one either on you or in your car..Get yourself trained on how to use one, many firing ranges have free ladies night, usually on Wednesday..

What's most important is how you see yourself..stop playing the fucking victim role it isn't cute and you'll be in these type of situations a lot more..

Also let as many people at yor club know what's going on.. Be careful who you give your #s to..Even girl's at the club, I had one chick sell my # to a custy before..

Good luck ! I sure as hell hope you're ok !!

britt244
09-01-2007, 10:03 AM
i figured people wouldnt be happy with what i had to say. but i did everything *but* move. if i felt unsafe, i stayed in my car and called the police to have them walk me into my apartment. i filed a police report and called back many times to follow up, even though they wouldnt do anything. there were times that i stayed with my parents, i did every weekend. even when i got jasper there were times i dragged him back and forth even though he hated it. i always slept with lights on and put little alarms on my windows that would go off if my windows opened. everyone at my club knew what was going on, as did all of my friends and my parents. but i couldnt move. if someone went to the trouble to find me already, found my brand new phone number the DAY i had it installed, now why on earth would i pay 2 grand to break my lease for them to potentially just find me again? moving out of the area wasnt a possibility, i have school. and i sure as hell was not going to ruin my entire future, lose my tuition money, etc. so i'm oh so sorry that some of you dont like that, but guess what? i did things my way and i'm still here today.

ExoticEngineer
09-01-2007, 10:46 AM
K, it's been many days without an update. She could have been inflating this ab it, but it didn't seem that way to me. Other Phx girls....do we know where she works (not to post here!) I have an idea of which one, but not sure.

I hate hate hate it when girls post stuff like this then don't come online for days afterwards.

So....I'm wondering if someone should check up on her....?

BlueJeanBaby
09-01-2007, 11:48 AM
^^damn I have no idea which one she works at :(

I was wondering the same thing, maybe we need to go check up on her...

hannah83
09-01-2007, 04:06 PM
This whole thing makes me nervous...i really hope she comes online and lets us know she's alive and well..

Sunshine73
09-01-2007, 05:06 PM
*** Waiting for BD's response & praying that she's OK***

jasmine
09-01-2007, 05:16 PM
I get not wanting to lose your tuition. That's why I didn't move to another city, just across town. I was in school as well.
Your just have to talk to the dean, take incompletes and resume a semester or year later. You get to finish your incompletes the next semester if you have a valid excuse. Although that was the most giant pain in the ass ever.

Yeah, and I couldn't get a phone cause he had gotten my unlisted number in a different name twice. I only had a cell until I left the state 3 years later. But most situations can be resolved if you look hard enough. I mean it really could mean the difference in living or dying. Scary thought.

fifi
09-01-2007, 06:44 PM
I would not give back the money. The money is not what he's after or interested in. What he's after is more contact, and giving back the money would give him just that.

Sunshine73
09-04-2007, 10:32 AM
Damn, it's been almost a week and no sign of BD. Anyone hear from her?

ExoticEngineer
09-04-2007, 10:39 AM
K, she's been heard from, not by me, but I have it second hand from two different people. She's okay...not making the smartest choices IMO, but oh well.

Live and learn.


HOWEVER, I am pissed that she posted something like this, as dramatic as this, and then never came back to say she was okay. Has anyone ever read the story of the little boy who cried wolf?

kelster
09-04-2007, 06:39 PM
This isn't okay, get your ass to the nearest police station or another one that will take you seriously. Have a serious talk and present yourself rational and calm. Let them know you are in danger and if this isn't handeled you fear you may end up like other girls with stalkers.

britt244
09-04-2007, 11:12 PM
This isn't okay, get your ass to the nearest police station or another one that will take you seriously. Have a serious talk and present yourself rational and calm. Let them know you are in danger and if this isn't handeled you fear you may end up like other girls with stalkers.

um. they wont take you seriously. plain and simple. ive seen it happen to me, other girls i know, and read about it happening to girls on here. nothing matters til something happens to you. filing a report is a good idea, but they wont do shit for you. they "cant."

beautifulxxdisaster
09-19-2007, 10:24 PM
Sorry for worrying ne one! I read through this thread today and alot of people showed true concern-some where just very blunt and actually being rude in there replys-why i dunno?!
My computer screen broke and i hanv't been able to get on..and i just had a boob job
sorry to worry neone who actually was concerned-i appreciate all the advice girls.thnx

Mily
09-19-2007, 10:29 PM
I think you just took it as people were being rude to you. It was kind of a scary, life-threatening situation you were in, and we were just trying to offer you no nonsense advice. Anyway, glad to hear you're okay.

beautifulxxdisaster
09-19-2007, 10:34 PM
K, she's been heard from, not by me, but I have it second hand from two different people. She's okay...not making the smartest choices IMO, but oh well.

Live and learn.


HOWEVER, I am pissed that she posted something like this, as dramatic as this, and then never came back to say she was okay. Has anyone ever read the story of the little boy who cried wolf?


hmm i think someone should have just minded there own business.No advice right there

Mily
09-19-2007, 10:38 PM
Okay, you want people to mind their own business...yet you post a thread like this? Next time, keep your problems to yourself then. ::)

beautifulxxdisaster
09-19-2007, 10:38 PM
Not trying to start a fucking catfight online. I just wanted a little help and thought this would be a good place to turn. All well,it's over w/. I probely shouldn't even had posted this here cuz i did get people worried and i feel bad.

beautifulxxdisaster
09-19-2007, 10:40 PM
Re-read the fucking thread. I didn't say people- it was one damn thread-FUCK
IT SAID SOMEONE NOT EVERYONE

beautifulxxdisaster
09-19-2007, 10:43 PM
AND OTHER GIRLS IMPLIED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY OWN LIFE
''What is it that makes some of us so ready to do whatever we need to to stay alive, and other people so unwilling to do the smallest thing to save their own lives?''
jUST SOME RUDE REMARKS FROM PEOPLE THAT I THOUGHT I COULD TURN TO.

Mily
09-19-2007, 10:52 PM
Re-read the fucking thread. I didn't say people- it was one damn thread-FUCK
IT SAID SOMEONE NOT EVERYONE


HAH! Frankly, I really don't giva shit enough to reread it.

beautifulxxdisaster
09-19-2007, 10:58 PM
whata bitch

pookie
09-20-2007, 05:56 AM
aside from your boob job, and people and disagreements, did you solve that problem with that weirdo?

jasmine
09-20-2007, 11:40 AM
aside from your boob job, and people and disagreements, did you solve that problem with that weirdo?

That's exactly what I'm wondering. There is no reason to get bent out of shape about this thread. Everyone here has been young and maybe a little naive at one point.

Yes, it is frustrating when you see the younger girls heading full-throttle toward that brick wall and there is nothing you can say that gets through. However, most of us have done something similar at one time or another. I clearly remember a time when I didn't really listen to any of the advice I got from older friends. It's not that I didn't think they knew what they were talking about, everything just seems like it really won't happen to you at that age.

Just try to remember if you are a little older, exactly what it was like to be in you early 20's, or even younger.

ExoticEngineer
09-20-2007, 12:29 PM
hmm i think someone should have just minded there own business.No advice right there

beautiful,

Well, let me say I am sorry if you took that as rude. But I will stand by what I said. From what I heard, and I didn't hear it from you because of your situation, I do not think you made the best choice in this. But it's not my choice to make, so I guess it doesn't matter.

Secondly. I was worried about you. You and I are in the same city. I had this nightmare of watching the news and seeing a story about "A Stripper Raped and Killed This Weekend". Plus I hear you are now working someplace that is known for it's disregard of staff safety.

So I should have minded my own biz. Well, the next time someone posts something that serious and they live in my town, I will try to turn my head and say "I don't care, not my Effing problem". Right. That's just not me.



And you know what.....that flat out pissed me off beautiful. I am "the one person" who you thought was rude in this thread? Because I cared? Because we thought you had been hurt and were worried? Because I tried to find out if you were okay after everything you wrote?

Psshhhh. I have a whole new veiw of you as a person right now.

Good luck to you.

Kaylinn
09-20-2007, 06:04 PM
Yeah, wow. Getting pissed at people for tough love and showing their concern? Not cool.

Ever hear of a child who went to their friends house afetr school, but didn't tell mom where they were going, so when mom comes hoem from work and discovers her kid isn't home, she starts to worry. Worry tuns into panic, she's ready to call the cops, and in strolls the kid. Mom gives child a big hug, says I was so worried, thank god your safe. Now your grounded. Don't ever do that to me ever again!

Same kind of thing here. People were concerned, and expressed their concern, and then were even mor econcerned you didn't check in. SW is a tight community...if you don't like that the closeness comes with some tough lovin....this place isn't for you.

NinaDaisy
09-21-2007, 11:45 AM
Hey, she has her titties and she's alive. All for naught childrens...all for naught indeed.

At least I hope this thread can help someone else who might have this problem and actually cares enough about their safety to take some of the excellent advice that many ladies contributed.

Callyish
09-21-2007, 11:49 AM
Wow we're bitches because we care and get annoyed when you ask for advice and then ignore the advice given. Brilliant ::)

beautifulxxdisaster
09-21-2007, 01:37 PM
ya sense i said 'everyone here is a bitch' um ok? lol it doesn't seem like ne one actually took to the time READ what i wrote

beautifulxxdisaster
09-21-2007, 01:39 PM
Hey, she has her titties and she's alive. All for naught childrens...all for naught indeed.

At least I hope this thread can help someone else who might have this problem and actually cares enough about their safety to take some of the excellent advice that many ladies contributed.


hmm who said that i didn't take some of the advice here? Everyone that has responded are being very inconsiderate and fucking rude. I don't appreciate oyu impling that i didn't take some of the advice. How the fuck do you know?!

beautifulxxdisaster
09-21-2007, 01:43 PM
I wish i would have never asked for advice from this forum. LEARNED MY LESSON

zxcire
09-21-2007, 02:16 PM
Hmmmmm....I think this thread might have reached the end of anything good that might come out of it...

ExoticEngineer
09-21-2007, 02:39 PM
ya sense i said 'everyone here is a bitch' um ok? lol it doesn't seem like ne one actually took to the time READ what i wrote

Yah...over here. I read it.

Alaska
09-21-2007, 03:04 PM
lol it doesn't seem like ne one actually took to the time READ what i wrote

What, the part about guns and hiding in cars and supermarket threats? Maybe you're right, that just falls into the realm of "creepy behavior" no different from "you know you want me baby".

Maybe what we should have done is reassess our definiton of "danger". Who knows, it could be wildly off.

Yah I agree, this has run it's course.

But you gotta notice, some of the even "harsher" replies came when you were not there...we were worried and pissed off that we were worried, that's the right analogy about the kid who comes home all late and the mom is so worried she punishes him.

AlexxaHex
09-21-2007, 03:21 PM
I wish i would have never asked for advice from this forum. LEARNED MY LESSON

Sorry for being concerned as well. This forum is full of wonderful, emotionally intelligent and knowledgeable women who think of each other as family in a way...so when you come here needing VERY important advice (hello, it's LIFE OR DEATH) and then we give it (in a non-sugar coated way), YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING GRATEFUL. I personally take offense to people who come here and talk a bunch of shit about being scared and worrying about their life and then saying "fuck you guys" because you don't like the way we delivered the information.

So if you're done here,
Yeah...BYE. Enjoy your new tits. ::) I hope they offer enough protection from those who have been threatening you. I can't believe how stupid someone would be to have their priorities THAT mixed up, but what do I know? I'm just an faceless stripper on some internet forum.

Not that I know what choice you made, but if EE says it's not a good one, then I believe her. I think that if you choose to ignore this situation or put your head in the sand (anything LESS than doing what was advised here by women who have been through the same thing), you deserve whatever happens to you.

Alaska
09-21-2007, 03:44 PM
I think that if you choose to ignore this situation or put your head in the sand (anything LESS than doing what was advised here by women who have been through the same thing), you deserve whatever happens to you.

Now....that's a lil harsh.


Annoyed and concerned as I am, it's more sad than anything. I'm willing to make some kind of allowance here for youth and inexperience, fine line as that is b/t "excuse" or "understanding."

I mean, some ppl don't even wear seatbelts until "it happens" and driving is def an immediate present danger that we're all aware of. She does need to have a tougher life first to be more scared.

ExoticEngineer
09-21-2007, 03:50 PM
^ Yes, by no means do I wish this girl any ill will. At all. Not even "to learn a lesson".

And I guess I would have to chalk the attitude up to being young and not knowing any better. It still doesn't make the being :toldoff: any easier to swallow.
I know none of us called her foul names or told her to f*ck off. That part hurts, especially when you are concerned about another member. But anyway, this horse is dead, and we're still beating it.

Glad to hear you're okay, sorry to hear you're pissed at us.
Hey, maybe we'll run into eachother at work one night and can laugh about it all. ::)

AlexxaHex
09-21-2007, 03:51 PM
I still stand by what I said. Since stupidity can't be punishable by law, there has to be equally effective ways of removing stupid people from society.

britt244
09-21-2007, 03:53 PM
I still stand by what I said. Since stupidity can't be punishable by law, there has to be equally effective ways of removing stupid people from society.

yikes. that's.. mean... :O

i, on the other hand, take back what i have said in this thread. pertaining to her situation only, not anyone's. if she had the money for boobs she had the ability to do what i couldn't (yeah yeah.. but i couldnt. shh.. this thread isnt about me) and what others may not be able to do in order to protect themselves. that part kinda blows my mind...

Alaska
09-21-2007, 04:01 PM
Sorry, I don't wish harm on people just because they are making ill choices.

Specfically, on females who are at the mercy of murderous men.

Yes to young assholes that drive 100mph and other assorted bad choices, but this one is just sad.

And "there has to be equally effective ways of removing ppl from society" is like saying you'd watch her murder on the news and go "oh well, she was a stupid dumbass anyway. I'm glad." Which also speaks from inexperiece, maybe if you've had a friend in her situation it would be different.

I'm sure you wouldn't be like that IRL but....yea just sayin what I can say b4 this is closed. ;)

AlexxaHex
09-21-2007, 04:33 PM
Sorry, I don't wish harm on people just because they are making ill choices.

Specfically, on females who are at the mercy of murderous men.

Yes to young assholes that drive 100mph and other assorted bad choices, but this one is just sad.

And "there has to be equally effective ways of removing ppl from society" is like saying you'd watch her murder on the news and go "oh well, she was a stupid dumbass anyway. I'm glad." Which also speaks from inexperiece, maybe if you've had a friend in her situation it would be different.

I'm sure you wouldn't be like that IRL but....yea just sayin what I can say b4 this is closed. ;)

No, I wouldn't be glad, but I wouldn't be sad or surprised...and I probably wouldn't be friends with someone with her attitude. I just think that if you make dumb choices, refuse advice and ignore your fear regarding a stalker, you can and probably will pay the consequences. It's part of my personal belief system, stupidity is a sin.