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cameron_keys
09-26-2007, 01:29 PM
I had a custie once tell me he played for the Eagles. He about turned white(and he was a black guy!) when I told him I was from Philly and was a HUGE Eagles fan. He told me his name and yeah...of course he never played for them. I said "hon..unless you are 15th string....you dont play for them. Try the lie on a chick that ISNT a football fan"

Zabrina
09-26-2007, 01:32 PM
There was this one custy who didn't buy dances for himself, but he'd try to negotiate for girls to dance for each other at half price. ::) He was also constantly trying to get girls to see him OTC. He swore he was harmless because he "lost his penis in Vietnam."

TheSexKitten
09-26-2007, 04:58 PM
There was this one custy who didn't buy dances for himself, but he'd try to negotiate for girls to dance for each other at half price. ::) He was also constantly trying to get girls to see him OTC. He swore he was harmless because he "lost his penis in Vietnam."

Fucking LMAO

AlexxaHex
09-26-2007, 10:01 PM
:rotfl: Oh man these are hilarious! I want to read more!

madmaxine
09-26-2007, 10:34 PM
A group of guys claimed they were in upper management of Cabella's a sporting goods/ hunting equipment company) I was like, Yah right, if you were you wouldn't out yourselves as Huge Wallets Straining With Cash.

cameron_keys
09-27-2007, 08:20 AM
Oh I almost forgot about the guy who told everyone he was Mafia. A hit man for the Mafia no less....cause y'know...those guys tell EVERYONE that. Talk about it all the time they do..uh huh....

cutey5032
09-27-2007, 09:10 AM
2 Timeless Classics!.........

Once, back in the days of North Jersey, there was this scrawny 18-year old kid sitting at the stage. Since it was dead in there except for a few customers, I decided to go talk to him and see if he wanted a dance. I couldn't even fit the question in because he was such a chatterbox. He told me he used to be a male stripper in the Dominican Republic a few years back. Now I don't know much about the DR, but I'm willing to guess there is hot enough guys there not to have 15-year old Tiny up there on a stage.

Finally, I asked him "So do you wanna go in the back?" and he said, real cheerful, "Naw, I ain't got no money. But I got my paycheck in my pocket, and as soon as I cash it tomorrow, I'm comin back here and givin it all to YOU baby."
"So, why didn't you cash it before you came in?" (it was still early in the afternoon)
"I didn't feel like it."

At that exact point, the dancer on stage had come around to him to accept her tip from him. She danced for a second then bent down, and he tried to engage her in conversation instead. She bluntly asked "You got a tip?" and he told her the same BS paycheck story. She told him off and walked away.
I turned to him and said "You don't even have a dollar to give her? I can't believe a male stripper, someone who FEELS our PAIN, came in here so unprepared!"
"Don't worry baby, I got you TOMORROW!" (winks)

Funny enough, the next day he DID come in, and didn't even remember me. Of course he tried to feed me the EXACT same male stripper/paycheck BS ;)




One of my favorites told by a customer was not even a few weeks ago, on Rosh Hashana night.

There is this regular who comes in to our club a lot, tips but does not get dances or CRs, etc. Either way, the other night I was walking around, and I heard him calling my name, so I walked back over. RIGHT AWAY, he said "I wanna go to the CR with you!"

I was thinking Sweet! So I said "Great, lets go!" and stood up, pulling him up with me.
"No, not tonight. WEDNESDAY." Big smile.
Oh god, I'm sure that'll happen!
"OK, sure, Wednesday it is"

Well when Wednesday came around, I knew it was all BS, but it was dead so I decided to entertain myself a bit.

"Hey ___, ready for that CR?"
He gives me a blank look.
"Oh, come on! WEDNESDAY, right?" (wink, wink)
"OH! I FORGOT! I can't go to the CR tonight, because its Rosh Hashana, and I'm Jewish."


BUT of course a holy holiday means you can still GO to a strip club without guilt, as long as you just watch and not get dances!!!!!!!!! lol

desavirsire
09-27-2007, 09:12 AM
I had a guy tell me that he was good friends with Donald Trumps' son who was coming into town on the Trump private jet and taking a bunch of people to Vegas. He would totally let me come with if I wanted to! ::)

Jesus w/out U
09-28-2007, 08:38 PM
It's guys like these that make it so dancers never believe me when I tell them I'm a super-dragon-ninja-cyborg with gold making alchemical abilities and an I.Q. of 1,000. It's just so sad.