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Tell me

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Tell me out there..I'm not 18 but I'm not old either and I have to say I'm fit and sexy and excited to dance. I was told that dancing can kill your spirit but I feel that no one can take anything from u unless u let them. I'm going for it! Crazy and naïve? Tell me....I want to hear from u

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  1. Lillylight's Avatar
    Firstly... give yourself some time to get a bit older, go and have some fun with your youth before you think about wasting it in this industry...really there are pleanty of things that can be exciting and fun that dont have to be doing this job...its a JOB... eventually you HAVE to do it when you dont feel like it, but traveling the world, visiting other countries and meeting new people, partying everywhere...these things you can always choose to do... go and do this FIRST before you make any plans for this industry... Save your money and 'experience' life, particularly if you are not sure about uni yet (or college i think you call it there)
    BUT insaying that i have known many girls who dont "hear" that and still want to strip so I would rather you go in to the industry prepared rather than just warning you off it... i dont know if anyone could have talked me out of it when i decided to at 19... ok so...
    On a general note, some advice:
    -As a new, young and slightly naïve to the industry you will on the most part to well in the beginning, but this is not going to be without its downside.
    Dancing is not about dancing ok, not really, no more then when you go out and are dancing on the dance floor and might be getting attention from the guy you want to pick up… well its just like that. Its like fake dating, which is very easy to do in the beginning when you are new, (and particularly ACTUALLY single) you will find that you are talking/flirting with the customers relatively easy once you are in the situation, and they will feel to some degree your honesty…. Because you aren’t really hustling at this stage, you haven’t been doing it long enough to need to. The start of dancing as a young woman is like a very long binge night on the town… that you do for like 3 months…
    And eventually… you will be tired of it, sick of the come ons, sick of their comments and topics of conversations, sick of the whole scene, just as you would have if you had been going out partying in normal night clubs for 3 months solid…
    This is where you will hit a wall… THIS is where the job… becomes a JOB… where you have to go in and be ready to pretend to “PARTY” even though you had a fight with your mum, your car broke down and your feeling unlovable today. Even when your heart is broken, your back is aching and your soul is stretched thin…
    THIS is what most dancers are unprepared for… sometimes its sooner than 3 months, sometimes its later, but its about a 3 month average…and most dancers hit this wall, and get annoyed and angry with the job and expectations, much like you would if you were forced to go out clubbing with your friends when you felt like that… you wouldn’t be the best company..
    But you have to be...EVERY WORKING NIGHT>>>
    So… how do you avoid the melt down??
    There are a few things you should set up before you start in the industry.
    No… its not your shoes, or hair, or makeup or even dancing skills (I will talk about your “look” at the end, its not as important as your mental well being surprisingly…cause if you can stay happy, and find something positive in a shitty night, every night, you will be able to go back time and again with out wasting your night being dried up)

    OK- So before you start, (or even if you have already, and you may still be in the ‘honeymoon phase’ start thinking about these things as soon as possible) :

    SEE NEXT POST... I had to break it in to two replys cause Im a bit full of words!!
  2. Lillylight's Avatar
    1
    .One of the biggest downside to dancing, the silence that surrounds it. The silence with the girls, in the community, in relationships, there becomes a big part of you that you can no longer share with everything in your life and this can be very difficult at times. Sometimes I think that dancing as a single girl is better, but really only so that you spare someone the emotional stress of it, because dancing single sometimes can be more isolating and lonely than anything else imaginable.
    Just make sure that when you go into it you have done your research, you have a good support network as in someone you can talk openly and honestly about ALL the stuff that goes on in the club when you just need to be yourself, walls down, even if its just an anonymous telephone counsellor, that is what they are there for.
    This is surprisingly important once the job becomes a JOB… yes it will have much better moments than a normal job… but it will also have much worse ones than you can imagine in a 9-5er and having someone you can talk to about it without judgement, just a bit of empathy, goes a LONG way.
    2.
    Make sure that you have a goal, make sure you set yourself a weekly budget with your expenses and give yourself some spending money so that you can blow off steam when you need to but dont do it by spending all your rent money!
    This is a BIG thing. HANDLE your money. I cant stress this enough, it will become a part of what keeps you going in there, but if you are not feeling ‘secure’, putting things away , having a bills account where all your bills come out from and its money you don’t touch… and a plan as to how to do it… you will end up being desperate in the club… and YOU WONT MAKE MONEY… Its really a simple as that, the more you seem to not nee the money the more it will come to you. Sucks… but its much like trying to live a happy life also.
    It comes to you every night and girls tend to just blow half of it the next day, or dont look ahead, spending it becomes a quick fix to a necessary therapy because dancing soes need some form of therapy to counterbalance the abnormality of it...and it does become something you will need to do, the money blow out…BUT DONT DO THIS, At least not like that… PLAN your blow outs… Plan how much… $200 a week to just blow on you is quite a lot to spend every week if you think about it, it just doesn’t have to be $500(unless you earn more). It should be a percentage of your earnings… like 20% maybe more if you are doing well.
    Instead make sure you have all your bills budgeted (break it right down to even your rego payments per week and put that money in an account or SOMEWHERE YOU WONT TOUCH IT) and make sure you have money for YOU left over after bills, expenses and savings.
    Think of it like this…
    if you earn $800 per week
    Phone bill = $20 p/w (get on a CAP program if you aren’t already)
    Rent= $150-$200pw (I hope you don’t have to pay more than this but if you do, change the budget.
    Electricity= $15 p/w (this is about $180 per quarter)
    Rego= $15 p/w (about $780 for a year)
    Car insurance= $12.5 ($50 p/month)
    Car repayments?
    Fuel=$30 p/w(being generous)
    Groceries= $120 (you can do it for this much as a single person, be smart about food shopping, vegies at markets etc, buy things cheap and cheap brands, take a calculator, plan your meals, save your money so you can go out to eat a few times a week!!)
    Misc expenses= $50 (better to be safe)
    Savings= $100 per week (SAVE SAVE SAVE, where ever you can, even if you don’t spend all your spending money for the week, save it somewhere else for the weeks that aren’t $800!!!!)
    TOTAL= 562.50
    SPENDING’S= $237.50
    Plenty of money to enjoy.
    But like I said. If you have a budget to aim for… you will be more conscious in the club of HOW MUCH you need to earn that night… WHY you have to smile at that dickhead who keeps telling you he thinks you would be a great lay!!
    3.
    Make sure you have money for outings out of the house so you dont become a hermit... very easy to do.., (take this out of spending’s, if you have more spending’s, you have more money for fun, so think about this on the nights you are struggling to help motivate you OR- and this is IMPORTANT… on those nights its all too much… THAT’S OK! Don’t get up and push past what makes you happy, just don’t beat yourself up about it the next day and try to comfort your self by spending money you haven’t earned. KNOW that it is OK to NOT BE THAT GOOD AT THIS JOB… this job requires a lot of things to line up that are outside your ability to control. And to NOT be able to put up with someone being derogatory or unsavoury… IS NOT A BAD THING…and its ok to not loose this side of you that wouldn’t put up with it in the real world… DON’T FORGET THIS… remind your self… its OK if im not that good at this job, its OK if I cant always be what they want me to be… for what they want be to be sometimes just isn’t worth any money they can offer… THAT is how you stay sane… Having BOUNDARIES, lines, places you wont go and things you wont put up with… even if its just words… it is how your pride is rejuvenated. This is important.
    4.
    Having things that you can do that make you feel good, and pampered and loved and grounded that DON’T cost much money on those bad weeks… like a good yoga class, or meditation, or a picnic in a botanical gardens with some girly magazines or a good fantasy book that you can disappear into.. or the movies… these are all under $20… remember these things instead of buying more dance shoes, more make up, more outfits that you DON’T NEED and wont make you money. Your mental health is what will makes you money!! The more you have in savings and your bills account too, the more secure you will feel, the less down you will feel about those bad nights and it will be easy to just wipe them off… because you WONT BE DESPERATE FOR THE MONEY…. This is the biggest thing that happens to dancers, depressed cause you need the money and cant get it… never…NEVER need the money if you can avoid it.. and if you are going into this industry but choice and not debt or children… you are blessed cause you DON’T NEED THE MONEY NOW…but you will if you start spending it all…
    5.
    Make sure you when you do have money to buy an outfit or two or when you are picking your “look for the club” you are picking things for YOU.. not for the customer... Buy dancing outfits that make YOU feel sexy... even if it is not exactly of like what anyone else is wearing... CONFIDENCE is what sells...not uncomfortableness or self doubt. Make sure that when you wear the dancing outfits you have gotten that YOU say DAMN! I LOOK GREAT!! Cause it will show when you have to walk around those strangers and they will think you do too...
    6.
    Make sure you make time to LOVE your body outside of the club, to remind yourself that you love your body the way it is, (and no, the best body does not always guarantee the easy money) book a massage in every sunday or monday to reward yourself and renew for the new working week... this is VERY important. You need something very NORMAL in your life to remind you of who your were, who you are OUTSIDE of being a dancer, its very easy for it to just become ALL of you while you are doing it.
    -
    Ok...
    I think Ive gone on enough for now.
    Im just so sick of the fact that there is so much silence about this industry, Im doing a psych degree atm so its something i am really passionate about... helping the girls in the industry, out of the industry or thinking about joining the industry...cope. I could have done with this advice when I was first dancing…when I didn’t need the money… and I used as much of the above tips the second time around when I last danced and it made a big difference. BUT…unfortunately the second time around… I NEEDED the money… so I did a lot more FREE things to stay sane!!
    Anyway… I’m planning on doing something soon in regards to the “silence” on this industry.. that’s not….HOW TO MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS STRIPPING… like all the programs popping up today advertising bloody stripping.. you can have all the best come on lines in the world.. but if you are screaming on the inside, do you think the guys wont notice?? Gee it annoys me… STAY POSITIVE and UPBEAT is “their” advice…YEAH…HOW?? Oh but they don’t tell you that… Well I hope this very long winded reply has done just that in one way or another…...

    Good luck and let me know if you have any more questions/doubts/fears... im big on talking someone’s ear off obviously!

    Lilly
  3. monicaziggy's Avatar
    Thank you, Lilly...