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The incest debate

Rating: 3 votes, 4.00 average.
Here's the post that I originally replied to in the Stupid on Cam thread. Nina had made a joke/asked a question and it 100% went over my head. I thought she was asking how rare incest fetish is, so I wrote this giant long post (me? no!) and totally threadjacked. If you'd like to know what was said before I edited it, here you are:


Quote Originally Posted by Nina_Den View Post
[does that ever happen IRL?!]

I have only sisters and while they're lovely people and I admit they're attractive, I would NEVER want to have sex with them! The idea of having sex with my dad or even being sexual around him makes me retch, even though -once again- I love him terribly. My mom... I have a hard time even thinking of her as a sexual being, even though I know she did it at least three times!

Just layin' that out there first so y'all know I'm not advocating for fucking yr relatives!

That said. I do think incest happens IRL. My own personal opinion is that it doesn't happen super frequently, certainly less frequently than the number of fetishists we see would lead us to believe. More on that later.

Evidence shows that a good deal of incest is between young people at around the age of puberty. They're horny, the decision and consequence center of their brains isn't fully functioning yet, in the course of daily life they can see age-appropriate relatives who live with them in provocative states (coming out of the shower, wearing only PJs, boys topless and sweaty after sports practice, etc) and there are more opportunities to be sexual with their siblings/cousins more than with other people (I know, I'm getting a little squicked out just typing this). Consequently, some kids can see it as a good opportunity. This kind of incest nearly always ends when the kids begin to have wider access to other peers*. IE when they start to date or get a car or a job or something.

Sadly, evidence also shows that -particularly when there's an age imbalance (uncle/nephew, father/daughter)- incest can be non-consensual and coercive. It's heads or tails whether these situations stop. Many don't. Many of the situations that involve underage children stop when the child ages out of the range of interest of the pedophile family member. As in the above paragraph, the people initiating the relationship do so because it's convenient for them.

That said. In the case of the bulk of the clients who ask for incest, I don't think that they have actually or actually want to fuck their real life relatives. I do think that these guys should take extra precautions to hide their browsing history. Their real life relatives would COMPLETELY freak out! Which I think is totally reasonable. I digress! I think that the guys we see like incest for a few reasons.
  • It's one of the last taboos. A lot of the attractiveness of porn is that it's "dirty," "naughty," transgressive. Some people don't get that feeling from vanilla porn but do get it from fetishes like incest or wife stealing/swapping.
  • It makes a very personal, kinda naughty connection with you. Some people love their siblings very deeply (not in a romantic/sexual way). In most cases, people live with their siblings all of their childhood years. Your siblings are people whom you know very well and whom you love deeply (unless familiarity breeds contempt in your particular case). So by pretending that you are his sibling, he gets that extra-intimate connection with you.
  • Guys who like the first sort of scenario may be tapping into the first-coming-aware-of-sexuality, age of innocence feeling. Do you remember how that felt? Everything was so new and exciting and dangerous. I don't have the fantasy myself, but I can see how someone would be attracted to roleplaying that feeling and then adding the layer of safety a cherished sibling brings, and then playing out some of the inherent danger that's hammered into kids (in the US at least) by incorporating the extra naughtiness of, "we shouldn't be doing this!"
  • To the latter scenario, daddy/daughter roleplay isn't necessarily incest. Lots of people are into the fake power differential that pretending to have personal disciplinary authority and a captive audience would bring. Sometimes it's just roleplay, just like people roleplay other things that we all abhor IRL (rape, racism, etc). A good deal of sexual relations period are power.
  • Also to the latter scenario, I see a lot of roleplay around older guy, younger girl (even tho I don't look that young? IDK) The Lolita effect; You're an old ugly slob, but this hot young nubile thing wants you.

Not saying that all guys who are coming to us asking about incest fetish are 100% hunky-dory-OK-in-the-head! I just think that most of them are mostly OK in the head. As OK as someone who has a pret-ty out there fetish can be. I've definitely seen guys who were clearly acting out some kind of past trauma around incest that happened to them and I saw one guy who totally creeped me out and made me try and think of how I might report him to the site just on my suspicions alone.

ETA: I'll do the incest fantasy, pft. Honey badger don' care! I mean, I don't have any brothers, and when it's daddy/daughter I just pretend like it's not my dad, but my man creature (who is 15 years older than me) doing some kind of D/s roleplay. Definitely hear ya, those incest guys will sit and chat and jerk in free as long as they can. When they start in on that shit, I squeal, "If it isn't my favorite [brother/cousin/daddy]! It's so good to see you!" *naughty smile and shy look*, "Hey...can we go to exclusive right now? I have a secret to tell you and I don't want to say it here in free." Works every time.

*Sometimes it doesn't end. Did you know more states allow first cousins to marry than allow same sex couples to marry?

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  1. chloemay's Avatar
    Oh yeah, I love it! Being 'mature', I get a lot of Mommy roleplay requests. As I'm not a mom (not casting aspersions to anyone who is and also does this), I have little problem playing it out with other grown-ups. The fact that it is taboo and many others won't cater to this fetish only helps and makes the guys bigger spenders. Win-win!
  2. spoiledivy's Avatar
    Wow i'd be open to role playing on cam like this those were good tips and it is unfortunate about our old fashioned laws out there
  3. MizMollie's Avatar
    I had a couple requests for it. At first I said something to the effect of it's not allowed, but how they imagine me is none of my biz...but then I read the site terms again and it said even THAT wasn't allowed!
  4. lifetravelergirl's Avatar
    Since I am not a mother, I have no problem with the Mommy/Son roleplay. However O_O , When guys ask about my kids or if I have ever had sex with my children INSTABAN!!! Even though I don't have any kids, I just feel that anyone who asks a question like this ...

    A. Is never going to spend any money.
    B. Is a sick sick piece of garbage (sorry I judge).
    C. Is never going to spend any money.

    Did I mention they are never going to spend any money?
  5. IsobelWren's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by lifetravelergirl
    Since I am not a mother, I have no problem with the Mommy/Son roleplay. However O_O , When guys ask about my kids or if I have ever had sex with my children INSTABAN!!! Even though I don't have any kids, I just feel that anyone who asks a question like this ...

    A. Is never going to spend any money.
    B. Is a sick sick piece of garbage (sorry I judge).
    C. Is never going to spend any money.

    Did I mention they are never going to spend any money?
    Agreed. I also wonder if the guys who do this are the ones who just say sick shit to offend and upset you, which they then get off on. I hate those guys.
  6. AF camgirl's Avatar
    I am like half awake as I am trying to read this, so forgive me if you covered what I am about to say

    I notice more then 75% of the incest taboo rolplay I get is actually peeping tom or getting caught jerking play more so then actual incest RP. I would say another 10-15% is schoolgirl domination mixture.

    I don't mind incest taboo, probably mostly because I am adopted, and because I come for a backwards state and have cousins who are married to cousins (and I don't usually wear shoes, got a problem with it? If you do, go ESAD)
  7. dianecallaway's Avatar
    I just can not do it. I know there is money in it and I know I am losing money by doing it. But maybe because I do not have any family I feel that family is sacred. I also feel that these guys and it is always guys are just working up their nerve to do something one on one with someone. I feel like I would be helping them break their trust with their family and that is something I can not do. I had a creepy touchy step father so I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of horrid behavior I will never do that. I am not chastising women who do but the men that have this stuff going on in their heads well they are a completely different story. Now I do understand the 15-18 year old teenager teasing the older man (teacher, neighbor etc) and I understand the rush of that way of thinking.
  8. JoyKitten's Avatar
    Due to my age, my roleplay is always as 'mother' figure. Very rarely requests as sister. Having read all the Nancy Friday books about men & women's fantasies, I subscribe to the concept that it's all erotic make believe. I have however, had several guys visit me in Exclusive telling me how they're real life mom has a sexual relationship with them. Hey, I'm just listening, learning a few things (while the $$$'s add up).

    In my 'real' life I know of several people who have been shocked to find out that their adult family members are having a long-term relationship. Shocked the hell out of'em! Creepy in a Jerry Springer kind of way =p But heck, they're adults (well into their 30's or more) so who am I to judge 'love'. It's none of my business as long as it's consensual and they're happy.

    And let's not forget MacKenzie Phillips 'consensual' relationship* with her father. I'm sure that story has fueled a lot of these roelplays. On the other side, who hasn't heard of Shakespeare's Oedipus, where the son marries his mother (not a happy ending), hence the Oedipus Complex. It's all very ancient, so why are we surprised that guys now are also intrigued by the story of mom seducing them?

    As long as the roleplay doesn't revolve around my having sex with minors, I can do the roleplay. And on that note, when we're gearing up for roleplay I never ASK how old the custie is 'playing' during our scenario. Due to the fact that SM has set reasonable precautions against children gaining access to the site, that's good enough for me. If my customer is fantasizing in HIS head he's 8 years old, well, I never know about it. That's on his side of the cam, so I'm not privy to that.

    *MacK was messed up on drugs, and realized when sober she felt raped by dad.
  9. Rina's Avatar
    I get a many mommy requests do to my age. I'm not a mom so it doesn't bother me, especially since most of them just want spankings for being caught wearing my panties. I've also never had a guy want to pretend to be super young, most don't mention age at all.

    I would also point out that men aren't the only ones having incest fantasties. There are some very popular novels with incest themes that are read by women and well have you ever looked deeply into SPN fandom? It really surprises me when I hear people talk about men and their perverse fantasies because trust me I see women with fairly similar types of fantasies.
  10. Almost Jaded's Avatar
    Interesting post.

    Oddly, I know more girls that participated consensually in pre-teen and early-teen incest than I do boys. Seems to be fairly common, actually, as a way to "experiment".

    Glad to see some of the replies here showing different sides of the coin. Personally, I never had that kind of interest until I had a much younger GF that wanted a daddy roleplay. Found out real quick we moth liked it a LOT and it kinda became our default dynamic for a solid 8+ months. I later dated another girl who upon learning I'd had that dynamic with a previous relationship, intimated to me that she'd always wanted that but never felt comfortable asking a man for it.

    While itsquicked me at first, I have to say that frankly, I thought it was a lot of fun. Wouldn't ever do it with a real daughter obviously, but some of our roleplaying got very detailed in back story and whatnot, and these girls are all about seducing a new stepfather or some such thing. Seems it's a pretty common thing, too.
  11. SaintSlutface's Avatar
    You touched on it but I want to reiterate the point that many times it may not be a fetish with an actual family member, but just with someone who is close to them as a family member is. A lot of men (or women) in this world haven't had a good romantic experience with others so they look at family love as the deepest form of love their is. Men becoming "brothers" in battle or women becoming "sisters" because they are so intimate and close with each other. I have not delved into this branch of fetish but I don't feel that it is as evil as everyone acts. It's just because many people associate it with bad aspects of their life that it is uncomfortable with them. I hope I'm making myself clear. Good post, needed to be brought up (stolen).
  12. lenajhon's Avatar
    nice thinking
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  14. submissivecharlie's Avatar
    I would hazard a guess that teen incest between siblings is more common than many folk are prepared to admit in public. My first few sexual experiences were with my brother (who is 2 yrs older) and equally as inexperienced as I.
    We both feel very uncomfortable discussing this topic now as its considered so taboo. However on a positive note I will say it gave us both the chance to loose our virginity in a safe environment. Some girls arent that fortunate.
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