IsobelWren
The incest debate
by , 07-17-2013 at 08:07 PM (11602 Views)
Here's the post that I originally replied to in the Stupid on Cam thread. Nina had made a joke/asked a question and it 100% went over my head. I thought she was asking how rare incest fetish is, so I wrote this giant long post (me? no!) and totally threadjacked. If you'd like to know what was said before I edited it, here you are:
POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING. POST CONTAINS ALL KINDS'A STUFF ON INCEST, SOME UNDERAGE.
Originally Posted by Nina_Den
I have only sisters and while they're lovely people and I admit they're attractive, I would NEVER want to have sex with them! The idea of having sex with my dad or even being sexual around him makes me retch, even though -once again- I love him terribly. My mom... I have a hard time even thinking of her as a sexual being, even though I know she did it at least three times!
Just layin' that out there first so y'all know I'm not advocating for fucking yr relatives!
That said. I do think incest happens IRL. My own personal opinion is that it doesn't happen super frequently, certainly less frequently than the number of fetishists we see would lead us to believe. More on that later.
Evidence shows that a good deal of incest is between young people at around the age of puberty. They're horny, the decision and consequence center of their brains isn't fully functioning yet, in the course of daily life they can see age-appropriate relatives who live with them in provocative states (coming out of the shower, wearing only PJs, boys topless and sweaty after sports practice, etc) and there are more opportunities to be sexual with their siblings/cousins more than with other people (I know, I'm getting a little squicked out just typing this). Consequently, some kids can see it as a good opportunity. This kind of incest nearly always ends when the kids begin to have wider access to other peers*. IE when they start to date or get a car or a job or something.
Sadly, evidence also shows that -particularly when there's an age imbalance (uncle/nephew, father/daughter)- incest can be non-consensual and coercive. It's heads or tails whether these situations stop. Many don't. Many of the situations that involve underage children stop when the child ages out of the range of interest of the pedophile family member. As in the above paragraph, the people initiating the relationship do so because it's convenient for them.
That said. In the case of the bulk of the clients who ask for incest, I don't think that they have actually or actually want to fuck their real life relatives. I do think that these guys should take extra precautions to hide their browsing history. Their real life relatives would COMPLETELY freak out! Which I think is totally reasonable. I digress! I think that the guys we see like incest for a few reasons.
- It's one of the last taboos. A lot of the attractiveness of porn is that it's "dirty," "naughty," transgressive. Some people don't get that feeling from vanilla porn but do get it from fetishes like incest or wife stealing/swapping.
- It makes a very personal, kinda naughty connection with you. Some people love their siblings very deeply (not in a romantic/sexual way). In most cases, people live with their siblings all of their childhood years. Your siblings are people whom you know very well and whom you love deeply (unless familiarity breeds contempt in your particular case). So by pretending that you are his sibling, he gets that extra-intimate connection with you.
- Guys who like the first sort of scenario may be tapping into the first-coming-aware-of-sexuality, age of innocence feeling. Do you remember how that felt? Everything was so new and exciting and dangerous. I don't have the fantasy myself, but I can see how someone would be attracted to roleplaying that feeling and then adding the layer of safety a cherished sibling brings, and then playing out some of the inherent danger that's hammered into kids (in the US at least) by incorporating the extra naughtiness of, "we shouldn't be doing this!"
- To the latter scenario, daddy/daughter roleplay isn't necessarily incest. Lots of people are into the fake power differential that pretending to have personal disciplinary authority and a captive audience would bring. Sometimes it's just roleplay, just like people roleplay other things that we all abhor IRL (rape, racism, etc). A good deal of sexual relations period are power.
- Also to the latter scenario, I see a lot of roleplay around older guy, younger girl (even tho I don't look that young? IDK) The Lolita effect; You're an old ugly slob, but this hot young nubile thing wants you.
Not saying that all guys who are coming to us asking about incest fetish are 100% hunky-dory-OK-in-the-head! I just think that most of them are mostly OK in the head. As OK as someone who has a pret-ty out there fetish can be. I've definitely seen guys who were clearly acting out some kind of past trauma around incest that happened to them and I saw one guy who totally creeped me out and made me try and think of how I might report him to the site just on my suspicions alone.
ETA: I'll do the incest fantasy, pft. Honey badger don' care! I mean, I don't have any brothers, and when it's daddy/daughter I just pretend like it's not my dad, but my man creature (who is 15 years older than me) doing some kind of D/s roleplay. Definitely hear ya, those incest guys will sit and chat and jerk in free as long as they can. When they start in on that shit, I squeal, "If it isn't my favorite [brother/cousin/daddy]! It's so good to see you!" *naughty smile and shy look*, "Hey...can we go to exclusive right now? I have a secret to tell you and I don't want to say it here in free." Works every time.
*Sometimes it doesn't end. Did you know more states allow first cousins to marry than allow same sex couples to marry?
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