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manda_baby

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TAKE ME AS I AM

An eye 4 an eye makes the whole world blind


Even though we survive through the struggles that make us, we still look at ourselves through the eyes of the people that hate us

WHY DONT "DADS" TAKE RESPONSIBILITY?

I have a beautiful 1 year old daughter who has never seen her father. Her "dad" an I were 2gether on an off for a little over 4 years, an soon after he found out I was pregnant, he bounced.
It hasnt been 4 a lack of me trying 2 get him 2 see her. But I can only put out so much effort an then the balls n his court, an instead of doing anything with it, he just lets it bounce around.
I dont want any kind of relationship with him outside of her. I dont want him back, I dont need him back. I am capable of doing this on my own. I want my daughter 2 have a relationship with her father.
He doesnt support her n ne way. Hes behind on child support 2, bcuz he wont work. His idea of a job is 2 be a dealer. Hes a party boy, I knew that when I met him. But I was a party girl, an I changed all that 4 my beautiful Aaliyah Nicole.
What is it that makes guyz think its ok 2 do this? He knows she his flesh an blood, but bcuz Im her mom, he cant have ne thing 2 do with her. It makes no sense 2 me at all. He says I broke his heart 2 bad 2 ever b around her cuz he couldnt do it without thinking about me. Yes, I tried 2 make it work but 4 her, not 4 me.
Im ok with being a single mom, I dont need him around. But she does an he dont realize that. Or if hes does, he just dont care. So Im going to continute to raise her the best way I know how, ad hope one day hell see what hes missin b4 its 2 late.



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Comments

  1. MargaritaVillain's Avatar
    I'm very sorry to hear about that situation Manda.
    Pardon my bluntness, but the guy sounds like a total douchebag. If he bailed before she was born and isn't willing to even make an attempt to see her now, she's probably better off without him. He might do more damage to her than than good if you finally talk him into seeing her when he has no interest and clearly no responsibility. Obviously, there's no easy answer but it's also obvious that you must do everything in your power to protect her.

    Hang in there...you have the most important job in the entire world, being Aaliyah's Mom!
  2. FBR's Avatar
    This is a careful comment because I am a guy and only have a vague idea what it is like to be a single mom. My first wife and I divorced years and years ago. We had two boys whom I loved to death. I paid my child support and then some every month and picked them up and spent every weekend with them. I couldnt imagine doing anything else. They are grown now and I am so glad I did the right thing.

    A word of encouragement...you are probably more amazing and strong than you can imagine. I would hold your ex's feet to the fire in terms of financial obligations. There is no excuse for him to not step up to the plate and do what is right. Whether you plan to soldier through this alone or eventually meet a partner who's strength will add to yours, I wish you the best. I didn't believe it at the time but it eventually does get better.

    FBR
  3. 's Avatar
    You are stronger than you know! Im in the same situation. These asswipes know that they really (duh) have lost us.So how can they hurt you when you dont give ish about them? By hurting us through what you/I/we as single mothers love dearly, our child(ren).

    I feel your pain. Its hard.I was not raised this way.Its hard when ur white picket fence falls.
  4. One Winged Angel's Avatar
    Well didn't you know when you got with him that he would be that way? Is it just him? Or is it you? The guy who named Aaliyah (not the father) was a pretty good guy but you shit all over his love and affection and trust and loyalty.

    With that said, there's no amount of craziness packed into this or any woman that would keep me from seeing my son or daughter. He's a horrible man for not wanting to spend time with his beautiful baby girl (I should know she's quite the cutie like her mom), but he's very smart for staying away from you.
  5. AdamDevis's Avatar
    Norm )