What was the hardest things for you to deal with in the first few months of dancing and how have you overcame those obstacles in the club as you got more experience???
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What was the hardest things for you to deal with in the first few months of dancing and how have you overcame those obstacles in the club as you got more experience???
After a month of being a newbie, someone told me the other girls gave me a hard time because they saw I had potential. That comment helped me overcome the obstacle of doubting my abilities and hating that I looked like such a "newbie." That was a major turning point for me. The rest was history. :)
Thanks, Passion, wherever you are!
Hardest thing for me was wearing the shoes. My feet hurt like a bitch.
Learning to read/weed out which customers are predators, how to avoid them...
Learning my personal boundaries of touch and intimacy with customers...
Learning to stand up for myself and state my boundaries and stand by them...
I tell myself before and during each shift that if I go home without money because I didn't cave to pressure to violate my boundaries, that's fine. I will turn down large sums of money if getting that money involves something I'm not comfortable with....
the hardest thing for me was getting out of the dressing room and talking to customers! for the longest time i only went home with $40 or so... and i was 19, still living at home, and that money was golden to me.
it wasn't until i was homeless that i truly learned to hustle, and within a week, i wasn't homeless anymore. :) yay for me!
I was a terrible hustler. I transitioned from getting 'bought off the floor' as a waitress to straight dancing, and I wasn't used to approaching customers. Guys were approaching me, paying $ to the bar to get me in the champagne room then dropping money all over the place. Having to actually go up and meet guys and ask for dances was horrifically painful for me. Also the shoes and bruised knees were not fun to get used to.
... & i still get bruisy knees.
Definitely hustling was the hardest thing. Interrupting a guy talking to ask for a dance, mostly.
Oooh yes, the shoes were pretty hard. I tried insoles, but it made my feet fit too tightly... I don't want to do this for a long time because i'm afraid i'll develop bunions (that terrible bone sticking out of side of feet...makes feet feel horrible, and makes it difficult to find shoes that fit) in 5 years of this.
I found it a little challenging to talk to every kind of customer...no matter how repulsive he might look (like a big chubby guy with pot belly...or mousey-looking guys) , etc...In normal life I might not have ever wanted to talk to them. But it made me a little more compasssionate towards people... And it deffinitely helped me work on my interpersonal skills...and feel comfortable talking to any kind of person. Now people aren't as intimidating as they used to seem.
It has been hard some times to just get in to work...especially after bad nights... It's an exercise in mental will. I've found it helpful to run through the reasons why I need to work, what i'll do with the money, a treat i'll save up for later, etc.
Camraderie among some of the girls has been a good thing...helps me look forward to going to work.
I still struggle with feeling paranoid/worrying people will recognize me. I still feel a bit embarrassed walking in to work...who might see me from the crowds outside. I still worry a bit about my family finding out. For some reason I think I might feel better if I work outside of the city, because then i'll feel like fewer people i'd ever come across in my life will have seen me in that setting... I think what I need to do is keep trying other clubs, and finding one I feel the most comfortable at.
This job doesn't come without the anxiety... Mentally it has been a hard thing to do. I just need to make sure I make the money to show for all of this...and come out in good shape, not used, abused, and mentally ill! I need to keep reminding myself to try to make this a positive experience, not make it traumatic. I think i'd feel more traumatized if i'd keep letting my boundaries passed (like in the beginning I wasn't sure how to react to guys trying to finger me...and I felt embarrassed afterwards..but now I know how to keep their hands off).
I wish I could spend a day as a guy...see what the hell is it that makes some of them want to get sooo touchy. I just don't get it. It's as if some of them don't think we have personal boundaries? Maybe it's the alcohol? Or maybe they're just people that don't have very many boundaries themselves, so they assume anything goes?
My biggest problem is to approach men! I am working on it!
Learning to hustle was hard at 1st....but got easy quickly with the help of SW.
Not letting rejection get to me was one of the hardest things. Having to keep my chin up and not get discouraged after guy after guy says no. It still gets to me everyonce and a while, but you just look at them all as money signs and when you get rejected its usually by men you would never look at twice OTC.
Right now my biggest obstical is the dreaded SLUMP. I was on a roll all summer, basically since I started I've been doing pretty damn good, hitting a $1000 night nearly once a week, and all of a sudden the money just isn't there. The club is dead til 9 or 10, the crowds aren't spending, and bringing home $500 is like WOHOO lol. Maybe its because its Maine and its more of a summer tourism area...but its pretty discouraging.
Physically, the bruised knees is the worst.
Technically, I still lack a lot of game on stage. I haven't even tried to twirl around the pole for fear of falling on my ass, and I'm pretty uncreative due to not being gifted with a lot of coordination. My lapdance is good but my stage is still in need of work.
Mentally, I struggle with going in at all and I struggle with actively working the floor. So far I've had the "luck" of usually getting 1 customer a night who spends a lot of money on me which helps me break my minimum "good night" $ of $200. But I've never even made $300 yet and I'm sure I could if I just worked it a little bit harder.
The one thing I will have to say to "The Pick-Up Artist" is that Mystery made the point along the lines of "If you don't go up and engage the person within 3 seconds of seeing them, you will freeze and choke up and give up." So basically I just have to not let myself think about if I'm going to talk to them or not; I just go and start talking. It's easy after that.
That is so completely true! If you hold back and weigh your options and analyze them from afar before you approach them, you'll pretty much end up convincing yourself out of approaching them. You just gotta think less honestly, when I manage to think less I do so much better. :D
Hell yes! Throughout my first week I looked like something was physically very wrong with me, like I had hemophilia or some other sort of clotting disorder. I've always bruised very easily and am very pale, and for a good week or so my whole knee and shin area was near-entirely solid purple. I cried so much over looking like that that first week. :'(
I am no longer a dancer but when I was in the beginning of it the hardest part was
dealing with some very RUDE ASS, BITCHY females. Of course there were a few who were sweet but god damn a bundle of them were cold and downright nasty.
In this situation where you are constantly surrounded by evil cunts you just simply
have to ignore them and don't let them bring you down.
Usually it stems from their own insecurities and troll like personalities that have nothing to do with you, just problems within themselves.
Also the hustle is hard at first, canniving men is an art form. Lol..:)