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Check the baggage at the door...
Why do we go through life holding onto drama ? I know many of us have been hurt in some form in the past but, why continue to torture yourself with past memories..Why live your life in such a painful way, when you could simply check the drama and the door and move on ..
We have such plentiful lives if we only chose to step out of ourselves and see the bigger picture.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
I love your positive outlook on life.
I truly wish, with all my heart, that I could say I share your views. Maybe some day I'll get there.
In the meantime, way to stay so strong in the midst of so much stress going on in your life right now, Farrah. It's really incredible and quite inspirational.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
I'm like that all the time though..Seriously, I've had some crazy shit happen. But, why hold on to it and only damage myself further. It's not hard to have an attitude like mine, you just have to WANT to have. Believe me I could be a miserable bitch but, what good would that do me in life ??
Why not turn all the energy into something that would benefit you and someone else ? Like volunteering..it's not that hard to be happy it really isn't !
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Oh gawd honey. You are so right. I just can't seem to let go of my anger. I did well for a while, but it came back. Time to go back through my resentment list and amends....
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
I think meditation helps people attain this goal. Its easy to go through the motions of daily life never letting go of your pain and anger; its when you stop to think about it that you realize how much you are damaging yourself further.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Oh, I'm with you there, Farrah.
I'm a volunteering machine. In fact, I've both helped with and created some programs here in the DFW area that I'm extremely proud of.
There is no better key to happiness than helping out others who are having a rough time. You continue to be one smart cookie...
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
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Originally Posted by
Katrine
Oh gawd honey. You are so right. I just can't seem to let go of my anger. I did well for a while, but it came back. Time to go back through my resentment list and amends....
Ok, you're a totally different story Kat..It's like you're addicted to misery ! Babe why do that to yourself ?? You've made mistakes so the fuck what we all have..It really upset me to see you tearing yourself apart. The answers are there for you, you just have to WANT to accept them.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
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Originally Posted by
austinatalie
I think meditation helps people attain this goal. Its easy to go through the motions of daily life never letting go of your pain and anger; its when you stop to think about it that you realize how much you are damaging yourself further.
Meditation is a big help but, also looking at self loathing as being selfish helps too. Unacceptance is a big time waster and keeps people from living lif to their fullest potential..We live in a very wealthy country, people die everyday trying to get here. But, to hear the way some of us look at our lives you'd think we live in Hell. That helps keep things in perspective for me, it really does..
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Farrah_Holiday
Why do we go through life holding onto drama ? I know many of us have been hurt in some form in the past but, why continue to torture yourself with past memories..Why live your life in such a painful way, when you could simply check the drama and the door and move on ..
We have such plentiful lives if we only chose to step out of ourselves and see the bigger picture.
I totally needed to read this! Hopefully it will help me see the bigger picture.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
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Originally Posted by
stellaforstars
Oh, I'm with you there, Farrah.
I'm a volunteering machine. In fact, I've both helped with and created some programs here in the DFW area that I'm extremely proud of.
There is no better key to happiness than helping out others who are having a rough time. You continue to be one smart cookie...
Good for you stella, I know who to call when we start "Stripper Across American United For Peace" :P You can run the Dallas chapter. Seriously that's not a bad idea.;) Maybe a shorter, more catchier title.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Because some of us aren't ready to let go. Some want answers, explanations, or closure.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
I live by the no drama rule - if something or someone is drama then leave it alone.
Life is so much easier without stress. Im also a huge believer of only doing things and being around people that make you feel good and smile too. The times that youre not should be the absolute minimum.
Down with negitivity I say!
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
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Originally Posted by
TigersMilk
Because some of us aren't ready to let go. Some want answers, explanations, or closure.
Oh, I feel you but, what if you NEVER get answers or explanations ?? You can give yourself closure. To be perfectly honest with you, the people who hurt you will most likely never give you what you need and what you're looking for. You've got to give it to yourself, seriously.. Accept the people for who they are and move on. Honestly if someone has harmed you asked them why they did what they did and see what they say..
In my case when I spoke with my mom about how see treated me during my cancer episode and the whole tax thing, she turned it around and it was bizarre and insane..Where I'm at I don't need that in my world and it only damages ME, if SHE'S affected by it, she doesn't show it. And we all live in our own realities, really ! The idiot who hit me and made me end up in the hospital, said he did it cuz he heard me say "I don't understand". Is that true ?? Who knows, I know I didn't say it. But, my forgiving him was about me and not him..I'm still pressing charges, just my emotions are not attached..When I found myself needing a drink at dinner, I knew something was wrong.
Be free and live your life or hang on to what causes you pain..All I can do is talk/type to you, the choice is ultimately yours.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
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Originally Posted by
MsQwerty
I live by the no drama rule - if something or someone is drama then leave it alone.
Life is so much easier without stress. Im also a huge believer of only doing things and being around people that make you feel good and smile too. The times that youre not should be the absolute minimum.
Down with negitivity I say!
Now that's what I'm talking about..I was hoping to get more posts like yours.
If something makes you uncomfortable, move it out of your way..:)
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
I've been dealing with a lot of negative in my life in a very positive, constructive, creative way. I keep dramatic people on ignore and I choose to surround myself with loving happy individuals. I'm doing what I can to serve myself and others, and I am doing my best to fulfill my true purpose in life. (And I am thrilled to know what my true purpose in life is. :))
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
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Originally Posted by
Sunshine73
I've been dealing with a lot of negative in my life in a very positive, constructive, creative way. I keep dramatic people on ignore and I choose to surround myself with loving happy individuals. I'm doing what I can to serve myself and others, and I am doing my best to fulfill my true purpose in life. (And I am thrilled to know what my true purpose in life is. :))
I'm so happy for you, it's really that easy isn't it ?? It's harder and more painful to hold on to it..Yep you gotta keep those type of people on straight mute. That's the only way to be really at peace.
Wow, I'm excited for you..We can't control everything that happens in life but, the way you handle it gives you more power over the situation.:)
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
This is just the sort of stuff I was talking about with my awesome therapist today. Some of it I really do need to process, so that's why I go, but I am so trying to leave drama aside, even with the crazed roommate. Unfortunately this has left me with basically no friends, but better none than ones who suck me into drama!
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
I can totally relate Rose, but it's like I was telling a friend today, I'd rather be by myself with my own calm relaxed company than be surrounded by drama..
You're still going through the process of releasing and healing. You'll find quality freinds before you know it..Now that you know what to look for in one. I find that old saying "birds of a feather flock together "is so true. And if someone doesn't turn out to be whou they are you're okay with letting them go on their way.
Good for you for being brave enough to make the changes. ;)
3 in a row, I'm stoked !
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Most people don't know how to let go of pain. Most of our pain and personal struggles stem from one major decision we make about ourselves during childhood. It's usually a very simple "I am ___" statement. I'll tell you mine:
When I was about five, I saw how my brothers had been chided for being fat by my father. Really, they just had five lbs. of puppy fat, but my father, being a perfectionist, made them run until they vomited, screamed at them, and was generally awful. He started gently teasing me about my weight very early even though I was normal/average because, as he revealed later, he didn't want me to get chubby like my brothers. So he'd grab my stomach and tease me, and I knew from the way he acted, he loved my siblings less based on weight. So if I was fat, my father didn't love me, and I assumed the rest of the world was the same. I decided, "I am unlovable."
When I figured this out as an adult, I was able to see how my life decisions had fallen along those lines and I was able to embrace loving, good people and bring them into my life instead. I started making decisions that were better and life became easier. Just a suggestion!
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
I so agree that most of us are "programed" from childhood..Watching my nieces and nephew grow up has helped me alot with understanding that..It really has! We're born pure and then people usually our parents, dump there bullshit on us.
I always tell the kids not to claim other people's garbage..That belongs to them and let them keep.
That's fucked up what your dad did but, I'm proud of you for letting it go. And understanding that was his issue not yours. Thanks for sharing your story and your suggestion. :)
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Thank you, Farrah. :) It feels wonderful to let old pain go.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
I wish it was as simple as letting go of the past, but I've given up trying that approach for myself. To me it's part of what I am, and I can't let it go because there is nothing else there without it, but...
I can fill my future with new positive experiences and memories, and when I do that, the way I view my past is seen in a new light, and the way I make my decisions in the future is affected far more by my experiences in the now.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
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Originally Posted by
xdamage
I wish it was as simple as letting go of the past, but I've given up trying that approach for myself. To me it's part of what I am, and I can't let it go because there is nothing else there without it, but...
I used to think the same damn thing !When I did it seemed negativity followed me everywhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
xdamage
I can fill my future with new positive experiences and memories, and when I do that, the way I view my past is seen in a new light, and the way I make my decisions in the future is affected far more by my experiences in the now.
So true..the past is still there and will always be a part of who we are, but the way we relate to it gives us freedom from the pain.
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
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Originally Posted by
Farrah_Holiday
..the past is still there and will always be a part of who we are, but the way we relate to it gives us freedom from the pain.
Perfectly said ;)
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Re: Check the baggage at the door...
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Originally Posted by
xdamage
Perfectly said ;)
Thank you.