Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
xdamage
I wish it was as simple as letting go of the past, but I've given up trying that approach for myself. To me it's part of what I am, and I can't let it go because there is nothing else there without it, but...
I can fill my future with new positive experiences and memories, and when I do that, the way I view my past is seen in a new light, and the way I make my decisions in the future is affected far more by my experiences in the now.
Letting go means addressing the pain and admitting the point it started. Yes, I experience moments of regression, and those old fears that people don't love me like I thought start to crop up, but now that I've addressed that, when I feel myself start to feel like someone must prove that they love me, I can now remind myself that love is generated, not owed.
Part of the growth process is learning WHY you feel the way you do. When you understand why you feel that way, it becomes easier to get past it and be happy.
Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aelfu_Gifu
Letting go means addressing the pain and admitting the point it started.
I agree. I just meant what didn't work for me was trying to pretend it didn't exist, wipe it away with intellect versus as you said, actually accepting it, and addressing it. Then you can really cope with it vs temporary pretend coping where it comes back. Hope that makes sense.
Re: Check the baggage at the door...
^^ Complete sense! :)
Ignoring the problem never works! At least not long term.
Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aelfu_Gifu
Letting go means addressing the pain and admitting the point it started. Yes, I experience moments of regression, and those old fears that people don't love me like I thought start to crop up, but now that I've addressed that, when I feel myself start to feel like someone must prove that they love me, I can now remind myself that love is generated, not owed.
Part of the growth process is learning WHY you feel the way you do. When you understand why you feel that way, it becomes easier to get past it and be happy.
I think we all experience moments of regression..I do, but like you said once one understands where the behavior stems from and know what the triggers are one is able to handle one's emotions differently. Also, for me I'm not taken on an emotional detour. I'm able to live my life like I want to and not be controlled by baggage.
Re: Check the baggage at the door...
I can't get over myself. :( But I'm getting sick too so that might be why.
Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Farrah, I think you have a really great attitude about things. Wish there were more people like you in the world!
Katrine, everyone deserves downtime. Don't be so hard on yourself. Not to make you think I'm a weird stalker type, but I've read your posts, and you seem to be a very smart, emotionally capable woman. You're completely capable of anything you want in your own time!
Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aelfu_Gifu
Farrah, I think you have a really great attitude about things. Wish there were more people like you in the world!
Thanks..My life is far from easy...It's just that I've gotten to the point that I want to live my life on my terms. In order to do that I have to handle things differently.
Re: Check the baggage at the door...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Katrine
I can't get over myself. :( But I'm getting sick too so that might be why.
Kat, you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Did you get my text the other day ?