Trash-talking fellow dancers...
This is annoying to me, but I really don't let it get to me much, but how should I handle it?
I had a customer the other night tell me that a lot of the other girls were coming up to him "hating" on me. Now he doesn't care. This guy is always coming in with lots of money and most of the girls don't like him because he always buys drinks and seldom tips (and NEVER buys dances). But one night when he was passed out in the chair, I got him some water and helped him out and talked to his friends to make sure they'd get him home, etc. His friends told him about it and he remembered it and adores me now. He'll routinely give me $200-$400 whenever he comes in, just because (not for dances or anything). Well anyways, he basically said that when I was onstage, a couple of the other girls were "hating" on me. I just blew it off. Because he didn't name names, I just said, "Oh, well... If they're hating on me, it must be because they feel threatened by me. They wouldn't do that if they weren't afraid I'm a better dancer than them." He laughed, and the conversation moved on.
But I've had this happen before--a customer telling me that while I was onstage, some other dancer came up to him and started trash-talking on me (and this was always a customer I had been working up for awhile before I went onstage). I usually just laugh it off and say, "She's probably just having a bad day or something."
Then last night I find out from a friendly co-worker that some of the girls have (in the dressing room) basically indicated that they think I shouldn't be dancing because I'm ugly and no good at it. Well, whatever--that's their opinion--but apparently it's not shared by my customers, because I do pretty good at making money most nights (I'm usually right about in the middle of the pack, which is fine by me).
I know the shit-talking is going to happen, but I'm just wondering if I'm responding correctly to it? Also, is there any way to minimize it? I don't EVER, EVER shit-talk another dancer, and I always go out of my way to help out someone when they need it. I also try to always point out good customers to other dancers if they're "my girls" (i.e., they haven't cut-throated me yet), if they're new, or just if I know they're having a bad night, and I always encourage my customers to tip those same girls. I guess I'm just a bit baffled by this? The girls who are trash-talking are usually making what I'm making or higher, so it's not like they're afraid I'm taking their money, is it?
So...
What (if anything) can I do to minimize the shit-talking? And what is an appropriate way to respond when a customer tells me that so-and-so has been saying such-and-such?
Re: Trash-talking fellow dancers...
Do you work in a small club? I always found the shit talking to be way worse in small clubs.
That said, here are some rules:
Go about your business
Kill them with kindness
If they know it bugs you they will fuck with you more
Keep your head up
Remember this is just your job; these girls aren't your friends
These girls don't matter
Let them choke on their big glass of hatorade
Re: Trash-talking fellow dancers...
Heh, smile to yourself. I am routinely hated by other dancers because I actually try to make a good stage show & am popular with the crowd when they...don't try on stage and ...aren't quite as popular with the crowd.
In the dressing room I heard one girl sneer at me, "Let her count out her ones..." I only smiled because it meant I had more people at my stage.
If you're bothering them enough to make them mess with you it means you are "taking" their money. Such hateful bitches deserve less in their pocket.
"Everyone pities the weak. Jealousy you must earn." Arnold Schwarzenegger
Re: Trash-talking fellow dancers...
I had this guy who would come in at 3am on a Friday or Saturday with his girlfriend and at least one friend and pay for me to dance with all of them. Of course while I danced for one, the others had to wait, so he would ask me to get another black girl to dance for another while I danced for each. None of the other black girls liked me, but there was one who seemed ok, so for a few weeks I asked her to join me. She never made any money, so I thought I was being nice by asking her to join me and then she would get 15-20 dances when otherwise she'd have maybe 3 plus he tipped her on stage. So one week I walked into work and all the black girls were talking shit to each other about me, and there she was, right in the middle of it, talking the most shit...they all clammed up when they saw me and her mouth just dropped open. So she runs up to me, apologizing. I just said, "It's fine, really"...
So that night when he showed up with 3 people and asked me, I told him that no other black girl was around and danced for them all myself. I never said a bad word about her, though. As we paid out she paid for her 2 dances and I paid for my 60...she was in tears. I never said another word to her again and she quit soon after that.
As Katt Williams said in "The Pimp Chronicles", if you have people hating on you, you're doing something right...
Re: Trash-talking fellow dancers...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
VegasPrincess
Do you work in a small club? I always found the shit talking to be way worse in small clubs.
That said, here are some rules:
Go about your business
Kill them with kindness
If they know it bugs you they will fuck with you more
Keep your head up
Remember this is just your job; these girls aren't your friends
These girls don't matter
Let them choke on their big glass of hatorade
Yes.
Ignore them, smile, do your best and BANK! Any hatred these girls put out on you will only come back and bite them in the ass.
I see it all the time.
Re: Trash-talking fellow dancers...
Maybe pause for a moment and playfully/cheekily ask if he's trying to stir up some trouble for a little entertainment? Tut tut tut. Especially as you can think of something much more entertaining to be doing... (ie giving you lots of money)
Something along those kinda lines, you know? Shock at such naughtiness then bam! a better idea... (giving you lots of money)
It would seem that they're threatened and when it's said to a customer while you've had to leave him unattended - then it really says threatened.
Whatever you do always react with a smile of some description (surprised, amused maybe even slightly embarrassed for her...)
He's just been presented with
A. They're hot and they.. really don't approve of you.
or
B. You are that hot, that not only do they think that you are hot but also that you are hotter than them. They are painfully aware and felt the need to make absolutely sure that everyone else knows all the facts of the situation too (the nastier and then cheerfully dismissed/forgiven - obviously the hotter you must be?) All you'll need to do is tip the scale.
And don't go sucking shit from anyone! They sound like cunts and I can't believe you're showing them the respect of taking it seriously! If some fuckbag custy said that - pfft! *rolleyes* they can all get fucked together.
I could write an essay for you here (well either could or just did? sorry) - people facinate me endlessly, it's not my fault! :)
So yes.. I would LMFAO if everytime they did that to you - it turned into cash!!
Re: Trash-talking fellow dancers...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MinahSky
I had this guy who would come in at 3am on a Friday or Saturday with his girlfriend and at least one friend and pay for me to dance with all of them. Of course while I danced for one, the others had to wait, so he would ask me to get another black girl to dance for another while I danced for each. None of the other black girls liked me, but there was one who seemed ok, so for a few weeks I asked her to join me. She never made any money, so I thought I was being nice by asking her to join me and then she would get 15-20 dances when otherwise she'd have maybe 3 plus he tipped her on stage. So one week I walked into work and all the black girls were talking shit to each other about me, and there she was, right in the middle of it, talking the most shit...they all clammed up when they saw me and her mouth just dropped open. So she runs up to me, apologizing. I just said, "It's fine, really"...
So that night when he showed up with 3 people and asked me, I told him that no other black girl was around and danced for them all myself. I never said a bad word about her, though. As we paid out she paid for her 2 dances and I paid for my 60...she was in tears. I never said another word to her again and she quit soon after that.
As Katt Williams said in "The Pimp Chronicles", if you have people hating on you, you're doing something right...
Wow. That's kinda awesome. No it's like a bitch getting hers fantasy come true! Good job on your part for .....acting like an adult? So good to hear about it when it works out like that, still waiting for mines...
oh god that's terrible to hear that it's worse in small clubs. I started at a small ass club (like sometimes we have 3 girls on including me) last month, and of course praise the lord everytime there's no drama, but dare I say it? So far it's been cool to the point where I've actually engaged in slight small talk with one or 2 of them........always watch yr back of course......but I really hope there will not be a day when shit gets really bad...cuz it would be REAL bad in a small club.
Re: Trash-talking fellow dancers...
Sadly, that happens more and more often. I've heard the whole gamut of gossip about myself from regulars or simply overheard from I'm a whore to I'm a cutthroat, etc, etc. I view this as them just being catty, but at the same time, I try and be on my toes around these girls because this usually means they'll be the first one to complain about you to the manager, so make sure that there's nothing that the manager can misconstrue.
Re: Trash-talking fellow dancers...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MinahSky
I had this guy who would come in at 3am on a Friday or Saturday with his girlfriend and at least one friend and pay for me to dance with all of them. Of course while I danced for one, the others had to wait, so he would ask me to get another black girl to dance for another while I danced for each. None of the other black girls liked me, but there was one who seemed ok, so for a few weeks I asked her to join me. She never made any money, so I thought I was being nice by asking her to join me and then she would get 15-20 dances when otherwise she'd have maybe 3 plus he tipped her on stage. So one week I walked into work and all the black girls were talking shit to each other about me, and there she was, right in the middle of it, talking the most shit...they all clammed up when they saw me and her mouth just dropped open. So she runs up to me, apologizing. I just said, "It's fine, really"...
So that night when he showed up with 3 people and asked me, I told him that no other black girl was around and danced for them all myself. I never said a bad word about her, though. As we paid out she paid for her 2 dances and I paid for my 60...she was in tears. I never said another word to her again and she quit soon after that.
As Katt Williams said in "The Pimp Chronicles", if you have people hating on you, you're doing something right...
How classy!! You handled that 100% perfectly. :)
Re: Trash-talking fellow dancers...
also, I really believe that the customers who pass on what somebody said about you are little shit starting bastards themselves, unless they are truly concerned about your well being, they just want to be IN on the drama
Re: Trash-talking fellow dancers...
Thanks ya'll. I don't let ANYTHING come between me and my money. Not even a Haterade downing beyotch like that...
Someone else on here has another Katt Williams quote about if you have 14 haters on you now to work on making it 16 by the summer...DAMN RIGHT!
If you behave in such a way that whatever they say is obviously not true, it will be more than evident that they are simply trying to make you look bad...making themselves look even worse in the process. No matter what was ever said about me or done to me, I never retaliated. I just did my job and was one of the top 3 girls in my club consistantly.
When I did have a major problem (another girl threw water on a whale -$$$$$- of a customer who told her he was there only to see me), I had the customer complain to the manager. He then called us both in the office and promptly told her if she went near me again or bothered me in anyway she would be sent home. She messed with me while I was on stage and he sent her home...for the rest of the week. Didn't see her after that... I made sure management was happy with me as well, and since I was on my paper chase, they were happy. I didn't f*ck the customers, do drugs or drink at all...on top of that I banked.