Re: Funny newbie stories!
I sold my first vip room saying:
"I'm not going to fuck you or get you off or anything. I'm just going to sit on my ass and talk."
lol. I've since learned a little finesse...
Re: Funny newbie stories!
On my first night I sold one VIP. I was too afraid to ask for it... So the custy just said he wanted one, and I was like, "REALLY??!?! Are you sure?! I mean.. It's a lot of money.." Lol. In retrospect I feel bad for the poor guy -- it must have been a crappy dance. It took me a LONG time to become even a little bit graceful on stage or during lap dances.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
Grrrr.... The first time I went up on stage I wore a garter. I assumed (ASSumed) that guys were supposed to place dollars in the garter. So every time a guy would tip me I would hold out the garter, which was on my thigh, and he would place a dollar in it.
Well... long story short, every time I got a tip all the other dollars would fall out. I'd gather them up, put them back, lather, rinse, Repeat. Of course there are ways of getting around it (I know now... errr Duh!) but I was too clueless to know any better.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
In one of my first shows at an actual good booking I tripped in a little hole on the stage, fell around the pole and tried (failing miserably) to make it look like I meant to do it.
Hole in the stage? Their bad, but my pain. Bastards. Messed up my whole jive.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
DJ announced me by my stage name and the first guy I hustled, I introduced myself by my real name LOL. I hope he didn't notice =oP
Re: Funny newbie stories!
My lovely co-workers didn't warn me that the pole was spinning, so I ate shit on my first stage.
I also cried my first night when I missed my stage. I
t was quite a disaster I have definately built a thicker skin since then.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
The manager didn't think I'd be able to get up on stage, so he gave me a shot of Tequila. Then after five minutes, he gave me another shot. Then the DJ gave me a shot. 1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila...FLOOR!! As they say. I was definitely a little wobbly on the heels! I also elbowed a guy right smack in the face whilst trying to 'dance' for him. Oh boy.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
I sold my first lap dance to an incredulous lesbian by saying, "Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Buy a dance. Please. Please? Please. Please. Please. Please."
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the first night i worked, i fell approximately 478323 times. thank god i didnt go on stage and only worked the floor. i seriously busted my ass walking across the room at LEAST 5 times.
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Its so funny to think how every "pro" stripper has been new at some point. Like even though I've been doing this for a couple years, I still look at the veterans in awe completely forgetting they were once new too.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
I was auditioning at a club with a revolving pole. I grabbed ahold of the thing and went FLYING across the stage. I didn't have any idea poles moved! I still made $50 on my three songs, maybe due to luck, maybe pity. I didn't get the job, though.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
OMG-I have some of the worst!!!
I learned the hard way why baby oil was evil.....
I went on stage after a black girl, who had just lathered herself in the stuff, I had just told her a few seconds before how pretty her legs looked under the light.....they glowed!!!.....then it was my turn....2nd day, no shoe grippies, and a stage full of baby oil.....fun!
I was doing a sexy walk and the next thing I know, my feet are in front of me and I'm on my back.....the only way I thought I could recover would be to flip over and start humping the stage!......oh god, it was a mess......
About a month later, I'm doing some floor work and flip my hair, unfortunately, I flip my hair directly into the pole and it makes this huge "boooing" sound, and I fall into a pile of stripper-mess on stage......then again, I think it's a good idea to keep hitting my head on the pole so people think I meant to do it.........I think it's caused permanent brain damage.....now I don't do that anymore.....
Wore a rhinestone bra on stage and cut a customers face up with it, when I tried to rub my boobs on him.....like seriously, he looked like eddy scissorhands had gotten a hold of him! lol
1st lapdance I ever did was a guy in sweatpants.....I DIDN'T KNOW TO LOOK AT THEIR PANTS!!! and he came, uggg!
there's probably more.....especially hideous outfit choices, but this should do! ;)
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I went around to all everyone and said, Hi I'm new and I need practice, can I dance for you?
All nude club...didn't even concider what to do about tampon strings...until I was on stage and the bouncer was telling me I shoudl leave the stage and go take care of my problem.
Yep..i left that string just flappin in the wind hangin out of my cooch. The thought just never occured to me...
Re: Funny newbie stories!
Oh gosh, those are good!
I was not great, but I was OK, since i had prior dance training, and was used to pointe shoes, and had good balance... But that didn't apply to floorwork. I'd do the crawl type stuff on teh tip rail, and BOOM! empty drink. First shift, three customers lost their drinks! Second shift, 3 customers lost their drinks... Then, I got my period onstage my third shift, didn't kjnow, and was doing floorwork with my crotch aimed at a custy's face and my bloodstained thighs and undies. I just saw a dancer from that place at my new club as a customer, and she said... "Oh RIGHT! You were the one who bled all over the stage!" Embarassing.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
This is great stuff! When I started, well...I did have some dance training but it was useless-I was totally unprepared for Nj go-go. Nobody had platforms then, so I had these awful black patent pumps, and an ugly black dress over a bikini. My audition was just getting up and dancing a set-yep a whole set-20 mins or whatever. It was so bad, but I made $11!
My first few shifts the other girls were nice enough to show me the intricacies of dancing, like catching dollars in your thong when guys threw it, that 90s grapevine step and leaning against the pole to shake your butt. I was so bad and I had no idea what to do with my hands except hold the pole. Thank the gods we didn't have lds then. I might have really injured someone.
As embarassing as it was, I'd pay to see a pic of me in a green onesie-thing (my second outfit), pumps and purple hair again.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
I had a few rum and cokes to loosen up for my first set...ended up falling off of the stage because no one told me the stage was L-shaped. I ended up busting my ass and I cut my chin open. I got up and did my set, and didn't realize until after I got off stage that I bled all over myself.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Brendita
I was auditioning at a club with a revolving pole. I grabbed ahold of the thing and went FLYING across the stage. I didn't have any idea poles moved! I still made $50 on my three songs, maybe due to luck, maybe pity. I didn't get the job, though.
hahaha, when i went to a club with a spinning pole, i was on stage for my first set,a nd i went to spin myself around the pole upside down. except my head was kind of going before my body, so it kept the momentum going and i couldnt stop myself.
another time, i spun myself around the pole and ended up with my legs twisted together in a way that i couldnt get out of for a minute. i literally sat there for 30 seconds not able to move my legs.
i forgot a really good one. not necessarily a "newbie" story, but it was within my first 6 months so im telling it. i've had many clubs where we walked on the bar for tips. my first club was like this. i had NO problems. they all had a bar to hold on to at the top. this one club, i crawled a lot more than i stood because i was afraid to fall. well.. one night, my drunk ass stepped right on an ice cube (that is the story as i will tell it and no one will ever get anything else out of me! ;) though many people say it was just bc i was drunk) and i fell right off the bar. back on the beer cooler behind it. right in front of the customer i was sleeping with. (not for money. i just liked banging him.)
im sure ive had many more, but those are prob more considered drunk and stupid stories, not newbie stories. and i prob have a lot i dont remember...
Re: Funny newbie stories!
K and several of our friends came in to see me about a week or two after I started, and I was trying to put on a really good show. I leaned out to put my face in our friend's lap - you know that move, you just hang your head over the edge of the stage - but he was sitting too far back. I slipped, and smashed his balls in with my face. He was in agony and I couldn't get back up because I was half off the stage with my face in his crotch and my feet in the air. And he didn't know if he was allowed to touch me to help me back up or not. Eventually I got back up on the stage again.
My friends still like to joke about that incident. They laughed at me for months.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
Oh god Iv got loads.
I found some stripper shoes to wear on my first night, but not a decent evening gown so I wore a white nightdress that I cut up the sides. Also didnt know that the other girls tied thier long dresses up at the sides when on the pole so that the dress didnt get in the way, so I let mine float about and looked like some kinda pole ghost.
No-one showed me how to fold and snap your money into your garter belt with the elastic band, so mine just built up like a book of raffle tickets. I might have lost some, who knows.
The next week, I saw some dancer fling her dress off with her shoe and catch it, so I tried it, my white dress ended up in a beer puddle.
Iv set my hair on fire with those stupid candles they insist on putting on the tables.
Iv also pushed over a row of 8 bottles of beer with a miss judged hair swing during a table dance. Wet laps everywhere and not for the right reasons.......
Re: Funny newbie stories!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Yekhefah
K and several of our friends came in to see me about a week or two after I started, and I was trying to put on a really good show. I leaned out to put my face in our friend's lap - you know that move, you just hang your head over the edge of the stage - but he was sitting too far back. I slipped, and smashed his balls in with my face. He was in agony and I couldn't get back up because I was half off the stage with my face in his crotch and my feet in the air. And he didn't know if he was allowed to touch me to help me back up or not. Eventually I got back up on the stage again.
My friends still like to joke about that incident. They laughed at me for months.
;D Funniest one yet!
Re: Funny newbie stories!
LOL! These are great! Keep em coming!
Hey, I want the newbies to post to with their first night mishaps!
Re: Funny newbie stories!
My first time on stage I was auditioning. I got up on stage, feeling wobbly in the 6" inch heels. I get up there, and just turn around in a slooooowwww circle, looking at everyone there. I was thinking to myself, 'what the hell am i doing up here'? Eventually the DJ yelled at me to dance or DO SOMETHING, so I kicked it up a notch and started dancing. I still got hired, but the manager told me he would like more out of my stage performance.
Re: Funny newbie stories!
i was still pretty new, first 6 months of dancing and had just started doin shows...
anyways, young and dumb, i'd had a few before my show and was in that "wow i'm a stripper and so fucking fabulously invincible" stage of my career. Anyway, i was wearing a wig, which felt a little loose but i was all 'no.... i'll be fine', so i'm tossing my "hair" around on stage just like its my REAL hair, on the floor, hair flick, hair flick when i feel the wig riiipppp.... right off half my head. Im like SHIT! wtf can i do? so i keep hair flicking randomly??? dig my nails in under the pins holding the wig down, under the STOCKING on my head and try to wrench it all off in one seamless move.... all part of the show.... right.... but i've ripped the pins out of my head, along with fistfulls of my own hair, swing the wig around and throw it off stage to a very suprised bussie. The manager and compare are pissing themselves laughing they thought it was HILARIOUS.
got through the show though.
god i was a dickhead;D;D;D
Re: Funny newbie stories!
I honestly don't think I have any embarassing/funny newbie stories... I just did stupid naive things like sitting down with random customers for long period of time without getting paid... it never occurred to me that you should ask "would you like some company" first, and that you need to hustle them to pay you to sit there, unless you want to waste time and money. Lolarose maybe you can tell me some other stupid things I did when I was new at the cheetah.. I don't really remember- it was a blur.