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Re: Have you ever been raped?
This thread gives me a pain in my chest and tears in my eyes.
I answered that I've been sexually molested. It was by my mother's second husband. From when I was 8 until I was 15, not actual penetration but things that I still can't bring myself to say. He also beat us all.
Hugs to all of us that we survived and are still here and stronger because of it.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
stellaforstars
Pooka, you and I went through the EXACT same situation pregnancy-wise. It gave me chills to read what you wrote just now.
I also contracted HPV, which led to pre-cancerous cells on my cervix, which led to surgery with complications, which led to me being unable to conceive.
I really never thought I would be sharing all of this on a public board.
Stella that is so weird that that happened to you too. Pregnancy as a result of rape is so rare that people almost refuse to beleive it happens, but it does. I've never met anyone else though who has had it happen to them.
However I truly am deeply sorry for the resulting complications. Out of all of it I had to find room to be grateful that I didn't contract any diseases from him. I had just read a book called "It happened to Nancy". Its a published diary of a young girl who was raped and contracted aids. :(
ETA: If you ever need a friend to talk too, Stella, and ANY of ya'll. My pm box and cell phone are open.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
I might delete this after a little bit because I've never told anyone, but I was molested as a child by my father. Besides the general trauma of molestation, he would also cut my breasts, butt, and all around my pelvic region with razor blades. That started when I was 6. I was too scared to tell anyone and then finally I came forward and my mom had him taken to court. He was found guilty but allowed to remain out of prison so he could pay child support because we were super poor. that was 8 years ago and he's never paid a cent.
I have a severe panic attack to this day if I see a razor blade. in high school I had to be rushed to the emergency room during biology because I walked in and there were razor blades all over the lab tables for the lab we were doing and I flipped shit and passed out.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
Speaking of being unable to conceive - when I was 7 my father raped me, which was of course brushed off, when I was 15 I did my first pap to get tested for my first encounter I had planned with a boy. They found HPV. Cruelly, the lady who did the test told me, 'That's what you get for not using a condom." It turned into full-blown cancer within months. After surgery at 17, I could no longer bear children.
That's my 'baggage' now. That my father's rape caused me to be sterile.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
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Originally Posted by
Lysondra
Speaking of being unable to conceive - when I was 7 my father raped me, which was of course brushed off, when I was 15 I did my first pap to get tested for my first encounter I had planned with a boy. They found HPV. Cruelly, the lady who did the test told me, 'That's what you get for not using a condom." It turned into full-blown cancer within months. After surgery at 17, I could no longer bear children.
That's my 'baggage' now. That my father's rape caused me to be sterile.
:'( :'( :'( :'(
:grouphug:
WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?!!!!!!
I am so sorry.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
oh my god this thread sickens me. It hurts me to my very core to read such horrific stories.
My heart ges out to everyone who has posted here, and I admire everyones courage for sharing their stories and for being so strong.
:hug: :hug:
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
And I admire your compassion, oh lovely Kaylinn.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
This thread is so heartbreaking.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
This thread makes me dwell on the attempted rape... since it's only barely an attempt, may I vent about it here?
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
Paige, of course you can. That's what we're here for--to listen and be supportive.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
Vent all you want Paige! I'd very much like to hear your story.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BrunetteGoddess
I have been sexually assaulted/molested, when I was 10. We pressed charges; he was my best friend's grandfather and it happened at her birthday party. She never spoke to me again afterwards and I still am hurt and unsure why she snubbed me.
The fucker never got jail time, only needed to agree to the courts to get help.
It fucked me up real bad to the point that when I was 14 I started thinking I saw him even though he was a country's width away. The PTSD and depression got me commited to a hospital 2x for trying to commit suicide a couple times.
I don't talk about it a lot.
I just wanted to say something that popped into my head because I have worked with a lot of survivors and have heard similar stories and have an idea maybe why she snubbed you. There is a huge possibility that she was being abused by him too, maybe she just felt sick with guilt that she had brought that upon you as well, I know a few girls who's friends were assaulted by their abuser, and guilt seems to be the overwhelming feeling they are left with.
I'm sorry if this is out of line, just wanted you to know that the reason was probably all about her feelings and nothing to do with your actions.
Much love to everyone who has been hurt in this way.
I was raped by a friend who's bed I was sleeping in cuddling him, no one though that was rape because if I was in his bed (fully dressed mind you) having a hug then obviously I was willing to fuck him and even if I said no then it wasn;t rape???? My FEMALE friends didnt believe me, he was very popular, apparently that makes all the difference, the only person who gave me any support was his girlfriend, I guess she knew him better.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
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Originally Posted by
PookaShell
:'( :'( :'(
:grouphug:
WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?!!!!!!
I am so sorry.
:hug: I had no idea we had similar backgrounds. My father cut me too, but on my leg so nobody could call him on it - I had done it falling in brambles of course. I didn't know we were so similar...
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
Paige, what happened to you is as terrifying and bad as what happens to anyone else. Either an attempt or an actual rape, you still lose something very important. You lose your ability to ever feel safe or trust someone again. We've all lost that thing, so feel free to discuss it here because I'm sure you're just as scared as the rest of us some times.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
Paige, I think I talked a little about my own experience a few pages back. I ws never raped, or physicially assulted. Only words were said to me. My uncle said " suck my dick, as he unbuckled his pants"
I mentioned being assulted as a child by him, but I don't remember it,only what my mom told me.
Anyway...that day tramatized me so badly that in nursing school 5 years later, I couldn;t care for men of that age group. I would have panic attacks, and eventually had to tell my professor why I refused to care for men of that age. I always had a fear of men that age and was very very uncomforable around them. Even when I became a stripper, I wouldn't talk to or dance for men that were beteen 30-50 years old.
I still am uncomfortable around men that age, but being that I'm appraching 30 myself, men that age aren't "older men" anymore and so don't scare me as much. And stripping definatly helped me get over that fear.
Anyway. My point is, just because you wren't raped doesn't make it less tramatic.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
I also wanted to share that my SO was abused as a small child by his uncle and a friend, and also BY A WOMAN at the age of 12, she threatened and blackmailed him into performing oral sex on her, he didnt have sex until he was in his 20s after that, it made him sick. I just wanted to highlight that women can also be abusers, and there are so many stereotypes of what a rapist is, those that dont fit the mould of a victim often get ignored too.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
What freaks me out is that abuse is SO common. And the abusers look and act like normal people. At least that's the way it seems.
The abusers I knew seemed sleazy and made me feel uncomfortable. But I can't imagine all of them seeming like that since so many people have fallen prey.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
I got pregnant as a result of my rape as well. Then when I went to abort it I had to deal with the abusive pro-lifers who didn't understand what the heck I was going through...no one did. Like being raped wasn't enough I had to find out that this jerk (who I had know most of my life and went to school with) had gotten me pregnant and then hide it from my mother while figuring out to get far away enough that no one would know me to get it done. I was sick as heck and going to school and working. I went away for the weekend to do it and recover. I told ONLY the person that took me to handle it and only because I had to. It's a lot to handle at 19.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
One of my best friends was born of a rape. His mom's a lesbian, been with her partner for like 30 years. She is like any other mother, loves him to pieces. Sad that it had to happen like that, tho.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
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Originally Posted by
MinahSky
I got pregnant as a result of my rape as well. Then when I went to abort it I had to deal with the abusive pro-lifers who didn't understand what the heck I was going through...no one did. Like being raped wasn't enough I had to find out that this jerk (who I had know most of my life and went to school with) had gotten me pregnant and then hide it from my mother while figuring out to get far away enough that no one would know me to get it done. I was sick as heck and going to school and working. I went away for the weekend to do it and recover. I told ONLY the person that took me to handle it and only because I had to. It's a lot to handle at 19.
That IS a lot to handle at any age really. But wow - at 19. :(
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
I answered as "assaulted/molested", though one of the incidents got into some very grey area.
I had only planned to vote in the poll, not post, but I've been reading everyone else's posts and I'm so touched by everyone's courage and honesty and support of one another, so I had to say something. Kaylinn, twisterinaz, Blade, Pooka, Lysondra, Paige, Minah - well, I could go on and literally list E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E, so I'll stop there, but you all know what I mean.
I'm kind of in awe of SW right now. People sharing these stories here, people sharing their experiences with poverty in another thread . . . You're all tough and courageous and amazing.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
It's terrifying that these things happen so frequently. :(
I remember when I was 16, a virgin, and dating an older guy that I thought was SO cool...I went to a party with him and he blew me off most of the night so I was all hurt and decided to get fucked up. So I was talking to this other guy there that I'd just met, he was all of the guys there's best friend from San Marcos...so I was feeling kind of depressed and drunk and wanted to be alone and walked over behind a barn to sit down and the guy followed and started talking to me - then he tried to kiss me and I got upset and told him to stop it and he started pulling my skirt up. Oh god. Actually its the skirt I'm wearing right now. Ew. Anyway, he started pulling my skirt up and he tried to put his penis in me, and I was screaming that I was a virgin and I didn't want to and for him to stop. So he shoved me on the ground and said I'd better fucking do something then or he was going to force it in me. So he made me give him a blow job. Then he went back to the party and left me lying in the dirt. He told everyone I came on to him and gave him head. Everyone called me a slut and the older guy broke up with me and the guy whose house it was at's mom told me to get the fuck out of her house because she didn't want me slutting around there.
When I tried to explain no one beleived me. Not even my friends. They all said my skirt was too short, and I was drunk, and wore too much make up and flirted too much.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lysondra
:hug: I had no idea we had similar backgrounds. My father cut me too, but on my leg so nobody could call him on it - I had done it falling in brambles of course. I didn't know we were so similar...
:(
I've never met anyone else who's father did that to them. All of my friends have stable home lifes though. My friends dont' even know about that. Once he did it before school and tried to do it light so it wouldn't bleed but I was wearing a white shirt and I didn't even notice I was bleeding because I tuned it out. When I walked into class the teacher screamed and carried me to the nurse. I had no idea why. Then I saw in the reflection of the window my shirt was soaked in blood and I was white as a ghost. I got forced to go to the counselour like every day to find out why I "cut myself". :shrug:
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
What amazes me is how quick people are to blame the victim in a rape. No other crime gets the victim blamed. I just don't understand it.
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Re: Have you ever been raped?
People are uncomfortable with the fact that they can't fathom finding the compassion to deal with other's people's severe trauma.
I recently confided the story of being raped to a close friend and she isnt a very compassionate person and has faced VERY little hardship in her life.
She told me she felt uncomfortable around me and that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. She also told me the miscarriage that resulted was my fault for sending negative vibes to it.
They cant imagine it happening to them so they dont want to try to imagine that it happens at all.