Record 75 Million Americans Now Pretending They Own Their Own Homes
old article, still interesting:
http://www.satirewire.com/news/0106/dream.shtml
Minneapolis, Minn. (SatireWire.com) — Showing no ill effects from a weak economy, housing numbers released by the National Association of Realtors today showed that a record 75 million Americans are now participating in the mass self-delusion that they, and not their banks, actually own their homes.
"Home ownership is the fulfillment of the American (banking industry's) dream, and we are proud to announce that more Americans than ever have been able to (help lending institutions) achieve that dream," said NAR President Richard Schicter.
After putting 20 percent down on a $235,000 house yesterday morning, Minneapolis pediatric nurse Stephanie Doogan officially became the 75 millionth American to take part in the widely accepted fantasy.
"Ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted to (deceive myself into believing I could) be a homeowner," said Doogan, 35. "Well, look at me now! Me, little Stephanie Doogan, I actually have a place I can call 100 percent (minus 80 percent) my own!"
Across the country, other (people in denial concerning their status as) property owners expressed similar satisfaction.
"There's nothing like taking a walk around your (bank-owned) house, then going outside and kneeling down in your (bank-owned) lawn and grabbing a handful of (the bank's) dirt to make you realize how precious (their) land is," said 28-year-old Matt Jackson, who('s bank) bought a $210,000 home on New York's Long Island last year. "It makes me feel as though I really have something that no one can take away from me (unless I miss so much as one mortgage payment)."
Added Devon Knight, who recently thinks he purchased a condominium in Baltimore's Inner Harbor: "When I was renting an apartment, if the furnace went out, I had to get the landlord to fix it. But now, if the furnace goes out, I have to fix it!... hold on, I'm losing the illusion here... why is that good again?"
"Equity," said Jay Harrington, Knight's mortgage broker at First Union. "Just remember, you have equity. And next to the right of every single American (major corporation) to have a say in who gets elected, that's the most sacred thing you can (pretend you) have."
Re: Record 75 Million Americans Now Pretending They Own Their Own Homes
Cute parody. I can't wait to pretend to own my own home.
Re: Record 75 Million Americans Now Pretending They Own Their Own Homes
That's funny as hell--and also true...
Re: Record 75 Million Americans Now Pretending They Own Their Own Homes
It's the mortgage and property tax deductions vs interest rate that give people the idea that it is cheaper to buy BIG now and pay 20-30 years I did that too for a long time but now my mortgage is paid off, early. Unfortunately the property taxes and association fees cannot be paid off permanently and both can still bite you in the ass.
Re: Record 75 Million Americans Now Pretending They Own Their Own Homes
A piece of satire which certainly bites at the moment, with all the repossessions thanks to the banking indistries stupidity.
Re: Record 75 Million Americans Now Pretending They Own Their Own Homes
Don't pay your property taxes....then see who owns your home.
Re: Record 75 Million Americans Now Pretending They Own Their Own Homes
^^^ the same used to be true for not making your mortgage payments as well ... however with the gov't's mortgage bailout plan in the pipe it remains to be seen whether that will still hold true or not.
Re: Record 75 Million Americans Now Pretending They Own Their Own Homes
Quote:
Originally Posted by
threlayer
It's the mortgage and property tax deductions vs interest rate that give people the idea that it is cheaper to buy BIG now and pay 20-30 years I did that too for a long time but now my mortgage is paid off, early. Unfortunately the property taxes and association fees cannot be paid off permanently and both can still bite you in the ass.
Well, I for one will never have to worry about an HOA. I won't even look at those houses/condos. >:(
Re: Record 75 Million Americans Now Pretending They Own Their Own Homes
That made me LOL... hehehe