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Do You Believe that People are Good?
Does that make sense? Do you feel like the strangers that you come across in day to day interactions are good for the most part, or not? What reasons do you feel the way you do? I feel like I have lost my faith in the goodness of human nature lately (see my "she hit me and wants to hold me liable" post if curious) and it's totally bringing me down.
I have been blessed to know many wonderful people in my life. However lately it feels like, day to day strangers are downright rude and care only about themselves. So many people will do whatever it takes just to get ahead, no matter who they step on. I feel like we live in a society that has no conscience. I don't want to feel this way, as I feel very negative but this is what I SEE on a day to day basis lately. (Maybe it is L.A? lol)
I want to restore my faith that more people are "good" than not. I want to like people, again. But what's the use if we're living amongst a bunch of self-serving, egotistical assholes who try to take advantage of anyone they can. Maybe the new unfriendly bitter me will get further in life. Being happy and friendly to people just gets you walked all over..
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I am an idealist and I believe that people, for the most part, are good. However, it is the bad ones that stand out and that is why people say that other people are bad for the most part. The good ones dont get enough credit or attention.
My husband otoh believes that people are bad and that "You should never trust a motherfucker". This is what he tells me all the time but I still feel that people are generally good.
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Its LA. That place is living hell.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
Once when I was on the subway I stumbled getting out and person across the platform reflexively reached out to catch me. I mean, he was about 15 feet away - it was purely a sympathy-reflex. So - yes, I do. Or rather, I think people are neutral and prone to more surges of goodwill than badwill. If you actually look at small, insignificant acts of kindness that strangers do for you everyday (and that you do for them) rather than looking for big, noticeable things it might help.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kaiyla
However lately it feels like, day to day strangers are downright rude and care only about themselves. So many people will do whatever it takes just to get ahead, no matter who they step on. I feel like we live in a society that has no conscience. I don't want to feel this way, as I feel very negative but this is what I SEE on a day to day basis lately. (Maybe it is L.A? lol)
I want to restore my faith that more people are "good" than not.
It's California in general..It's a stressful place to live.
I suffer from reverse culture shock in the Upper Midwest- I am so used to watching my back, locking everything up, and trying to avoid others. Out here, people like each other, because there are so few of them.
I've had some awful experiences but I've also had total strangers go out of their way to save me from harm, so I try not to get too negative. It's the "bad apple" thing, one spoils a whole bunch.
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Wha---no. Yay I got in on the first page of what is sure to be a multi-platinum posting thread!
I think when it comes down to the core of it, it's just human nature to be selfish.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
People are selfish. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to you to determine. Personally? I judge a person on their actions. I know all humans are selfish creatures yet this selfishness can be used for "good" as well as "not so good" purposes.
;D I've known this for many many many years and am totally utterly fine with it.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I tend to be optimistic about most things, but no, I don't believe that people are good. I mean, they aren't all bad, but as the years go by I seem to lose faith in humanity more and more.
ETA: Part of that might be because I'm vulnerable. People like to take advantage of me; last year was pretty sucky. It just kind of leads me to not trust anyone.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I am not sure how to define "good" in a real sense (as opposed to a dictionary sense). Each person has their own motives. Most of these motives are driven by the desire to be happy.
I guess we have difficulty seeing this in others. We have difficulty seeing this in ourselves. For the most part I think we fail to understand what really makes us happy. This probably has a strong effect on how we see others and how they see us.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I think people are for the most part self serving. Sometimes what is in their best interest is also in the interest of others, or the group. When it comes to their own kin, and particularly their own children, they seem to be more altruistic, but even that arguably is in their best interest (or the best interest of perpetuating their genes). On occasion i see acts that seem to be acts of pure altruism, though one could argue that the giver gets a good feeling out of it and so still ultimately does it for themselves. I am fine with seeing things this way. I don't think it makes people particularly good or bad, more like survivors (or not).
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I believe that as individuals, most people are good or at least want/try to be good. In groups however, people can be pretty awful.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
Good or Bad is a judgment placed on an individual from the perceptions of people that are directly involved in the actions of the individual.
I believe people are good. However I often find more and more, that people aren't necessarily worth being good TO.
In my heart, I do believe that if people, as a whole, believed in a SIGNIFICANT benefit in selflessly helping their fellow human, to themselves or loved ones, that you'd see a lot more acts of kindness.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jenny
I think people are neutral and prone to more surges of goodwill than badwill.
This sums up how I feel. I have been the recipient of a great deal of selfless kindness in my life, but I have also been taken advantage of numerous times. Overall, people have been nicer rather than shittier to me, but the shitty things caused me more hurt than the nice things did happiness, though I'm not sure why. Nonetheless, I try to hold on to the nice things, because I really treasure the fact that I'm an optimist at heart, and I'd be kind of sad if I let that slide.
At some point in my life, not too long ago, I was seriously on an "All People Are Good" kick. But then I started stripping and got involved in 2 really draining relationships back to back and went to a school where I didn't fit in and moved to a city where I wound up hanging out with argumentative hipsters, and all these things wore me down. I'm ready for a big pioneering-ass adventure, the kind where you have to ask for help and give it in kind. Those things always restore my faith in people.
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You know TOTH - argumentative hipsters need love too.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
Living in nyc the past few years, here's what I've noticed while riding the subways:
most people are good unless provoked
most people care about the general welfare of others (not talking about response to beggars)
most people want to help when they can (e.g., give directions, carry heavy bags)
HOWEVER:
The rudest people seem to be the people who are NEW to this country and are workers. They push and fight their way into the subway cars and don't give their seats to women or the elderly.
I have nothing against immigrants btw. I think they're amazing people (their chutzpah and drive). But, in general, their subway manners seem to suck.
These are all little things but I still think they account for something. I don't think immigrants are bad people. I'm guessing their more self-serving because they HAVE to be at that point in their lives.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I always expect people to be good. Unfortunately I'm often dissapointed. For some reason, I never expect people to do things that I wouldn't do. I try very hard to not be completely blind-sided by the ugliness, which is getting a little easier as I get older.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
Most people are good. There is every reason to be good and the incentives are everywhere -- you'll be happier, live longer, be less prone to disease, have far more satisfying relationships, have the support of others and be much more able to withstand stress or disaster.
I think we have grown to expect "goodness" out of people in every aspect of life so we consider that to be somehow normal -- it's the default state of behavior. We really fail to appreciate or notice how prolific simple acts of kindness and compassion really are. Courtesy, manners, thoughtfulness, sympathy, understanding -- they are far more common in our daily lives than is the psychopath who is trying to run us off the road. It's when somebody snaps and reverts back to a violent state of nature and does something truly evil -- also part of being human -- that it registers as something unusual; an anomaly. We remember that.
Now here is where it gets a little tricky.
Being "good" is such a strong moral imperative -- so driven into us from the earliest moments of our lives -- that people are willing to live in increasingly bizarre and overwhelming states of denial just to convince themselves that their actions or behavior or choices in life, whatever they may be, are in fact "good." This is how acts of cruelty or abuse or abject neglect, to say nothing of torture or humiliation, are justified in their minds. It's why, for example, some parents who have orchestrated, say, a two-decade living horror show of alcoholism and abuse, or wholesale emotional neglect, can be shocked, shocked, if anybody were to suggest they were anything but good people or good parents. One of the best embodiments of this "evil with the face of innocence" was played out by Nancy Marchand as Olivia Soprano. Some would argue that she was just brilliantly manipulative, but that's not "good," either.
Evil and conflict always makes better drama than does good. That's because they have more faces; they're more threatening and unpredictable and frightening. But they are also rarer. They are more entertaining in fiction because they are the exception, the anomaly, of the modern human experience.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I think most people believe themselves to be good. As to whether or not they are...well, I can't even answer until I figure out what 'good' is.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I think people are basically good. I certainly don't trust evryone but most people are at least decent and not malicious.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
Dealing with people is an interactive thing - we react to them and they to us. It's also a 'mutually causative loop' - that's to say, one type of behaviour reinforces another.
If we react defensively, we tend to get a similar response from people, and the defensive reactions reinforce each other. Similarly, if we start off affably with people, that also tends to be self reinforcing.
I tend to assume the majority of people are good, and thus act in a friendly way towards them. Trusting someone, is a slightly different manner, and the trust I will extend is gradually increased with time.
I do not extend anything other than a normal level of trust to people when I first meet them. However, with time, I will extend more and more. There are close friends whom I will grant virtually unlimited trust to.
So yeah, I assume most people are fundamentally good and behave accordingly. I will not however, place other than a 'standard' level of trust in people until I know them well.
Phil.
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Honestly? No. And I'm basing this entirely on how I view myself. If people think I'm such a good person and I'm really this awful deep down... how awful are people and we just don't see it?
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I don't think it's just an LA or California thing....being from Hawaii and having visited Cali several times...Baltimore is MUCH WORSE!! LOL!
I like to think people are good and that if I believe this wholeheartedly, I'd like to think that one day I'll meet an overwhelming amount of very caring and selfless people. I meet a few here and there, but not as many as I'd like. I honestly think it depends how close to a big city you live. The closer you are to a city the more influenced people are by money and the pop culture. Also the closer you live to a big city the more you have people that are dealing with the stressors of congestion, traffic, crime, high prices, etc. I think it's worse here because we don't get as much sunshine as Cali to keep up happy!
Stay positive though....I believe that if we stay positive and try to be good influences in our world than we'll spread that aura to others, maybe not at first - but keep in mind there are lots of young kids out there looking for good role models...if I have to put up with other peoples selfishness just to influence one person or child then I think it's worth it.
As a side note...the traffic and road rage here is super crazy....I've decided that from now on when people are dicks - cut me off, won't let me over, or honk at me...I roll my window down and give them a peace sign....I don't know if it entirely diffuses the situation, but it at least diffuses me and prevents me from spreading that negativity to others I encounter.;D
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
i believe people start out good. i believe children are good. but then they are shaped not to be. like lysondra, i can base this on myself, too. in some ways, i'm a very good person. but in others, i can be selfish, mean, vengeful, whatever.
however, when it snowed the other day, i saw a ton of people pulled over to help those who were in accidents, or who had spinning tires. i passed more than one car being pushed by others who had pulled over to help. that was nice to see.
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I knew the responses would be interesting...;)
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Re: Do You Believe that People are Good?
I think good and bad are entirely subjective, but I don't believe that people are capable of altruism.