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Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
Have you ever heard a child, too young to understand discretion, announce something absolutely mortifying? Or hilarious?
I've got one.
It's my cousin's little boy. We all went out to an ice cream parlour to get some ice cream. Now, at some point in my cousin's son's life, he was told that ice cream can make you fat, and that 'fat people' shouldn't eat ice cream. We are all sitting on the bench, licking away, when a rather obese man steps up to the parlour. Clear as a bell, the kiddo asks his mother "Mommy, why is that fat man buying ice cream?"
I've never seen my cousin toss her child into the family van so fast and take off.
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
OMG I would be mortified!!!
How old is he?? lol
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Oh that is sad :( My kids have done that and I try to correct them fast! Once there was this couple, they had to be 6 '5 and 6 '8 feet tall and my 4 yr old, at the time, opened his mouth, pointed and yelled "MOMMY! GIANTS!" I was like "Elijah! no! no!" and the couple came over laughing and got on their knees and said "If you think we are big you should see our son, he is taller that my husband" and the lady winked and ELijah said "then how did you get him out of your belly if he was so big?!"
ah kids.
My little one the otehr day, took his shoe off, his sock came running to me and made me sit on the couch, he sat next to me and extended his foot and said "Mommy, smell my feet! it smells like Richie" that would be our dog. lol
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lexi
OMG I would be mortified!!!
How old is he?? lol
He was around four, I believe. This was a number of years back.
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
This isn't mortifying, but HHL's 2nd one made me think of this. One of my favorites was a friend's kid whose hand fell asleep for the first time. Odd sensation to try to describe, right? And he didn't know what the heck was going on, of course.
So he comes running up to her and says "Mommy! My hand is . . . spicy?"
:rotfl:
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hahahahahahahahahaha! Spicy! hahahahaha!
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
Quote:
Originally Posted by
StrawberrySwitchblade
Have you ever heard a child, too young to understand discretion, announce something absolutely mortifying? Or hilarious?
Okay, here's one that's more in keeping with the OP's description above.
Another friend, Angel, was driving with her own daughter and a daughter's friend Caryn. They were late to school, so she made a fast but illegal move, cutting across 4 lanes at once at a tricky point in the route. There were no other cars around, and she had checked, so she knew it wasn't dangerous, but that didn't stop the cop from pulling her over.
Note to all: Try not to have small children around when being pulled over by the cops, especially precociously inquisitive ones like C. Especially when they're just starting to grasp the concept of right, wrong, consequences, and honesty.
Further note: Caryn, about 3.5 or 4 years old at the time, is deadly serious, calm, and direct about all of this.
Cop (comes up to the window): License and registration, please.
Angel: Sure.
Caryn: Are you in trouble?
Angel: Umm, kind of. I'll explain lat-
Caryn: Did you do something wrong?
Cop: Ma'am, reason I pulled you over is (blahblahblahlegalexplanation).
Angel: Yes sir, sorry.
Caryn: DID YOU do something wrong?
Angel: Well, yes, but -
Caryn: Did you know it was wrong when you did it?
Angel: Um. Uhh. Well . . .
Cop: (struggling to keep straight face)
Angel: . . . uh, well, yes, I did.
Caryn: Then why did you do it?
Cop: (starting to sputter)
Angel: We will talk about this LATER, okay?
Cop: I'm, uh (suppressing chuckle), just going to go back and write this up, alright?
Caryn: (pause) Are you going to JAIL???
Angel: CARYN! Not now!
Cop: (walks back to car, clearly cracking up all the way)
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
So my 7-year-old-daughter, the Angel of the Century, is sitting at the dinner table explaining why she was so angry at school today.
AOC: I was late. And Mrs. XYZ was looking for me.
TOO: Why were you late, sweetheart?
AOC: Because I went into the boys' bathroom by mistake.
TOO:
AOC: I got so mad!
TOO: Why were you mad?
AOC: They are so stupid!
TOO: Well, honey, boys can be kinda strange at that age.
AOC: No, no, the toilets! The toilets they have in the boys' bathroom are so stupid!
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
Oh, I can just imagine. POOR THING! I hope she was alone in the bathroom, at least!!!
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
^ That girl is in total control of every single situation she has ever been in throughout her life. She's also fluent in Russian, is studying Chinese and has a blue belt in Kung Fu.
If anybody was traumatized, I'm sure it was the boys. When she gets angry, it's wise to stay very far out of her way.
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
My daughter very enthusiastically told everyone a couple of months ago how excited she was that her baby sister was soon to be coming out of her mother's VAGINA. and somehow the VAGINA was always said in capslock too!!! (she's 5 by the way). I am trying desperately to train her not to repeat lousdly (whilst pointiong) the comments I sometimes mutter about people under my breath as well. "Is that man a BAD man mamma, why did you say that rude word? did he push in in front of us mamma?", all whilst pointing to the man half a meter away looking mortified.
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Okay, when I was 6, I went on a ferris wheel for the first time. After the ride, my mother and I joined her boyfriend and his army officer buddies. Luke (Mom's b/f) asked how the ride was. I was sure I was in trouble when I saw what can only be described as a priceless expression of mortification upon announcing, "It tickled my private parts."
:-X
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Well, when Makayla was 3, she had gotten a UTI. So I took her to the doctor, got the prescription (it was a bad infection) and took her to the pharmacy. While we're waiting for the pharmacy to fill the prescription, she proudly announces to everyone in ear shot that her "vagina hurts cuz I've got a urine confection."
And, I've always told her that trans fats are bad for you and you shouldn't eat them. So, we're at the grocery store and this really, really obese woman is walking around the store, leaning on her cart and eating (what else?) Krispy Kreme donuts. Makayla loudly exclaims, "Wow! I bet that fat lady eats too much trans fats! She shouldn't be eating those!" I bolted down the next aisle as fast as I could!
Then another time, this man comes into the aisle that we're looking for stuff in. (with the aluminum foil) and he smells so bad that my curly hair went straight. I didn't want to be rude, so I just stood there while holding my breath, and as I turned to walk away, Makayla comes down the aisle...gets a whiff and loudly exclaims, "Who smells that bad?? What is that smell??" Joe, grabs some aluminum foil boxes off the shelf and starts juggling them calling Makayla, "Look Makayla!" and she runs over all excited at this. We were both mortified, but couldn't help but laugh (quietly).
Ahhh...there's plenty more. Plenty...but I just can't think of them all right now.
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
lol confection.
I got another...
Elijah :Mommy, I want to get married.
Me: But you are so young, besides you don't have a fiance
Elijah: Oh but yes I do!
Me: Have I met this person?
Elijah: Duh no! but we see her all the time! she is the smartest, coolest, most beautiful girl in the world, she loves animals and she speaks so cool, I love her mommy.
Me: Honey who are you talking about?
Elijah: our wedding has to be here in the yard, and I'm inviting all my friends and her friends and oh you have to pick her up from the airport cause she lives far, and when she gets her, oh before that you have to fix my room, take Spongebob down cause what if she doesn't like it, oh but what if she does (mind you I have the what the? look on my face but with a big grin)ok never mind leave it but Julian has to get out of our room, he can sleep with you and daddy.
Me: Honey...
Elijah: I forgot! we need a cake! can you make a cake mommy? oh and..
Me: Elijah who are you talking about?
Elijah: BINDI! mommy my wife! :rolls eyes like it is obvious!: (Bindi is the Late Steve Irwins daughter)
Me: (trying really hard not to laugh) Honey but we don't know her.
ELijah: This is why you have to send her a letter on the computer! tell her we are getting her at the airport and
Me: But what about her family? they will miss her.
Elijah: Oh, well they can come live with us too.
Me: Ok, well we will see.
Elijah: Oh but remember we need to get a bigger house cause it's going to be a lot of us and I am marring her but also you and daddy ok.
I wanted to squeeze him and never let go lol
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These stories are too cute! Makes me more excited to know that one day our child will innocently mortify us in public in just plain cuteness! LOL!
Ahhh, from the mouths of babes eh?
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When I was little we were in the grocery store checkout and behind us there was an ugly woman, older and wrinkled, with a wart on her face that had a long hair growing out of it. I looked over at her and my eyes lit up with delight, and I pointed at her and yelled, "Mama, LOOK! A witch!"
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This is so embarrasing, I don't even think I've told my boyfriend:
(I don't remember this)
My parents were pretty honest about questions (and I was never the fanciful type....bad combination methinks)
My dad was driving my babysitter home, and I was in the backseat. She was telling my dad about her boyfriend wanting to marry her, but she didn't want to bc she didn't want to have kids.
Me: "Yea, that's cuz you don't want Dad to stick his penis in your vagina."
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Alaska
This is so embarrasing, I don't even think I've told my boyfriend:
(I don't remember this)
My parents were pretty honest about questions (and I was never the fanciful type....bad combination methinks)
My dad was driving my babysitter home, and I was in the backseat. She was telling my dad about her boyfriend wanting to marry her, but she didn't want to bc she didn't want to have kids.
Me: "Yea, that's cuz you don't want Dad to stick his penis in your vagina."
OMG! :rotfl:
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
Alaska please come clean my keyboard, note to self don't read this thread while drinking.
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My mom likes to remind me of a time when I was about 3, and she and I were outside somewhere, doing nothing special, when suddenly I pointed at some woman and asked loudly, "Mommy, does she eat poopie?"
To this day, neither of us are sure what inspired my question.
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I was with my girlfriend a few years back and her son wanted to show off his new shoes to me, so he goes and puts them on and comes over to show me and he has them on the wrong feet. His mother points that out to him and he looks at her kinda funny leaves and comes back, shoes are still on the wrong feet, his mother points it out again and he looks her in the eye and exclaims, "these are the only feet that I have!"
I nearly peed in my pants I laughed so hard.
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Re: Toddlers Say the Oddest Things
I love this thread! More more!