Honesty is not the best policy
A few minutes after I came in tonight, I was grabbed and asked to come into a VIP room. 3 girls, 3 guys. I was paired up with the money guy. He was paying every girl $500 an hour, and buying bottles of champagne.
Well, he was a little wasted and rude - grabbing my ass and nearly reaching for my asshole, kept groping at my tits, tried to smack my ass but was too drunk and hit me in the back, etc. I put up with it and take one for the team because I don't want to kill the two other girls money, It was pretty bad. Halfway into the hour, he basically asks me if I want to fuck him, even though he's married, and even though he'll tire of me eventually (he admits all this) - but he'll take me out to dinner so it will all be worth it! I try to play coy and I say I don't want to get my heart broken, and I'm sure his wife is lovely and he'll never leave her. HE THEN ORDERS ME TO LEAVE VIP BECAUSE HE IS DONE WITH ME BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE FUCKED AND DISCARDED BY HIM. I am now pissed and tell him that he doesn't deserve whoever his wife is, and to fuck himself.
He's rude to the waitress, doesn't tip the funny money girl, barely tips the bouncer, and by the time I left at 1 AM, the girls were thoroughly annoyed by him.
He then asked for another girl, his two other friends left to go home, and signed up for the rest of the night with them in VIP. I could have made $3000 more if I had just played it off better somehow and lied, but I lack the capacity to tell lies of that nature.
OMFG :( $3000 GONE.
I don't feel really stupid - because that money would have truly come at the cost of my personal comfort, but I feel like an incompetent stripper because I don't know how to lead them on without promising anything.
The waitress tells me he's really wasted now, so go fake apologize and maybe he'll let me stay the rest of the night (I would have made an additional $2000 if I could pull that off). I do it, and he doesn't even remember saying all that to me and acts like he's such a nice guy. He's basically passing out while 3 girls dance for him. I didn't get back in the room, so I definitely regret my fake apology. I should have left it at "go fuck yourself" and gone home with my dignity.
I left early because I was so frustrated and it truly got to me. I think it was in part because I fell off the wagon and had a few drinks. If I hadn't been so aggravated, I probably could have stayed the rest of the night and of course made more.
At least I made $500. Easy come, easy go, right?
I've never mastered turning down dates and sexual propositions with kindness and changing the subject in my favor - any tips?
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
Look on the bright side. If he has paid 3 girls $3000 each to dance for him while he is passing out drunk... he is going to be contesting those charges; and it is extremely doubtful that his signature will be a viable match at that level of intoxication. And many clubs will not just eat that amount of money either.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
^ at my club they thumb-print guys twice and make sure their signature matches their driver's license - they are anal about it. But thank you for trying to make me feel better :)
But yea, I'm sure he's going to try and contest it when he figures out none of the sweet talkers are actually going to fuck him.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
If there is anybody else in the room - staff, customers, other dancers - I play the "SHhh! You'll get me in trouble if they hear" card. Works even better with a wink. If there's no one else, I just tell them I'm not allowed, I'll get in trouble etc.
If they're trying to break the rules in a dance, I tell them "If you break the rules and I don't kick you out I get fined 10x the dance price, and you're cute but you're not that cute".
When that fails I just give up. I've never played a very convincing "Oooh maybe if I get to know you better/I have to trust you/if you stay longer". I just can't pull it off.
If they want to continue to be a dirty perv, fuckem. NEXT!
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
Sometimes those situations can be really intense... 3 hours of him trying to poke your starfish... um you did yer best to keep cool.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
In these sitations I usually just try and smile and nod, sort of not agreeing but not disagreeing, then I'll try to deflect the question or change the subject. These guys are usually so drunk they don't even notice and just go with it. If they push it, I'll giggle and say something like, "You're a trouble maker." or, "You're a naugty boy, stop being so naughty or you'll get me in trouble!" Then I'll deflect it again. Most of the time this works, you can rope the other girls, if there are any, to keep up distractions. If you so busy partying, dancing and having "fun," they usually forget all about it. Sometime tho, its just too hard, it take a lot of energy to deal wit these guys and sometimes they are just impossible to deal with. Let it go, there will be other nights, x
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
I doubt I would've been able to put up with it either. At least you left with your dignity, right?
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
If it makes you feel any better, he's probably REALLY hating himself right now for blowing that much money (that and the hangover). Honestly, he probably wanted someone new (nothing against you, but to feel like a balla' with a bunch of different girls) and putting up with his shit longer than you wanted to might have only gained a few extra hundred instead. Even if you had totally lied and promised to meet him later, he possibly would have been, "score one for me... next batter!"
Gah, I hate drunk customers. >:( Honestly, your response was fine (except for the wife part, but even that wasn't the worst thing ever). He flipped out like the drunk asshole that he was/ is before you told him even half of what you really thought of him.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
I think it's neccessary to seem interested and stroke his ego, even if your not. Bringing up the wife is never a good idea imo. As far as saying you don't wanna get your heart broken, im not sure if you meant it jokingly but try not to seem as if you are taking his proposal too serious. This sounds like the type of guy that I would probably talk back to in a sexy smart ass kind of way to keep him in check. These are just random thoughts but if you really want a tip, don't take these guys so seriously. That sucks that you apologised though! What an ass, im sure he doesn't even remember.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
I have similar problems ViolaStrings. I can't humor people that have genuinely pissed me off. I just gotta tell it like it is. I've seen tons of girls do it with perfection and maybe I'll learn but as for now, I can't humor guys that legitimately annoy me and I know it's hurting my money.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
I'm ironically honest with these guys. I think they're dirty sons of bitches if they're willing to cheat on their wives or fuck girls they just meet that are often years and years younger. I just tell them, "You're a dirty fucker, aren't you?!" (I smile naughtily when I say this) Or "I knew you wanted to fuck my pussy!" I get right to the dirty talk.
What the guys don't realize is that as soon as they start asking those things, they are in fantasy land. Really. Especially with a girl like you who is NOT going to fuck them. Ever. So keep it in the realm of fantasy. That means talking dirty. That means asking them what they like, where they like to do it. That means telling them what you like (it's always fake with me). They'll think you're a sexually gifted and open being after about half an hour and will keep you in there forever. It's opening up their mind and fucking them, not opening up their zipper and fucking them!
I used to never talk dirty to any man until I honestly began to hate some of the men I danced for. It's my way of putting the empty sons-of-bitches in their places and preying upon them for their weakness. You want my pussy? You're trying to get it? Great for me. I'll fuck your mind so hard that your wallet will cum all over me.
Sorry... just had my share of these fuckers lately. My only recourse is to beat them at their own game, keeping them incarcerated in VIP fantasy land.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
yea, you put up with it as much as you could. Good job putting up with mr.stupid as much as you did, some girls would have left waaaay before you did.
Also, theres no logic to a scenenrio where alcohol is involved. The jerk was lucky enough to have you for one second... by the way you are a person too. BOOO! to that drunk guy.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
I'm usually pretty good at humoring these guys and milking them..but I"ve had QUITE a few who I could NOT deal with. Yeah, I'd kick myself too if I gave up that money...but you can always make more money. Your pride and dignity is much harder to replace.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
Quote:
Originally Posted by
paintgoddess
I'm ironically honest with these guys. I think they're dirty sons of bitches if they're willing to cheat on their wives or fuck girls they just meet that are often years and years younger. I just tell them, "You're a dirty fucker, aren't you?!" (I smile naughtily when I say this) Or "I knew you wanted to fuck my pussy!" I get right to the dirty talk.
What the guys don't realize is that as soon as they start asking those things, they are in fantasy land. Really. Especially with a girl like you who is NOT going to fuck them. Ever. So keep it in the realm of fantasy. That means talking dirty. That means asking them what they like, where they like to do it. That means telling them what you like (it's always fake with me). They'll think you're a sexually gifted and open being after about half an hour and will keep you in there forever. It's opening up their mind and fucking them, not opening up their zipper and fucking them!
I used to never talk dirty to any man until I honestly began to hate some of the men I danced for. It's my way of putting the empty sons-of-bitches in their places and preying upon them for their weakness. You want my pussy? You're trying to get it? Great for me. I'll fuck your mind so hard that your wallet will cum all over me.
Sorry... just had my share of these fuckers lately. My only recourse is to beat them at their own game, keeping them incarcerated in VIP fantasy land.
That's some really good advice! And I love the analogies :D
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
Personally, I think getting $500 and standing up for yourself is better than getting $3000 and spending the next few hours being molested and psychologically abused. When I started dancing I decided I had to take that attitude. Money is not worth compromising your boundaries and self respect. You made $500 and stood up for yourself. Look at it that way. Don't blame yourself for simply reaching your limit.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
I understand where you're coming from. I try so hard to act interested without actually having to do anything I don't want to do. But when guys really start getting to that asshole point where they think there are no boundries, I can't play coy anymore. I have lost money that way, but I don't know what to do once it reaches that level. Where you have to prove your 'interest'.. ya know? Obviously skirt around the issue as long as possible so you can make your money, but after that, I'm lost.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
Quote:
Originally Posted by
paintgoddess
I'm ironically honest with these guys. I think they're dirty sons of bitches if they're willing to cheat on their wives or fuck girls they just meet that are often years and years younger. I just tell them, "You're a dirty fucker, aren't you?!" (I smile naughtily when I say this) Or "I knew you wanted to fuck my pussy!" I get right to the dirty talk.
What the guys don't realize is that as soon as they start asking those things, they are in fantasy land. Really. Especially with a girl like you who is NOT going to fuck them. Ever. So keep it in the realm of fantasy. That means talking dirty. That means asking them what they like, where they like to do it. That means telling them what you like (it's always fake with me). They'll think you're a sexually gifted and open being after about half an hour and will keep you in there forever. It's opening up their mind and fucking them, not opening up their zipper and fucking them!
I used to never talk dirty to any man until I honestly began to hate some of the men I danced for. It's my way of putting the empty sons-of-bitches in their places and preying upon them for their weakness. You want my pussy? You're trying to get it? Great for me. I'll fuck your mind so hard that your wallet will cum all over me.
Sorry... just had my share of these fuckers lately. My only recourse is to beat them at their own game, keeping them incarcerated in VIP fantasy land.
^EXACTLY!
These guys know what time it is when they sign up for the room. The Hosts have usually explained everything in precise detail on how it works. These are grown ass men that chose to get totally inebriated and get a CR on their CC and I feel no guilt in taking the money they offer me.
I have no qualms about indulging their little fantasies. The mileage you describe is actually par for the course in my club (sans the ass/back slapping) so it's either him or someone else, who probably won't be paying me as much.
If the mileage gets too much, signal a Host to come over and ask him to tone it down.
I draw the line at actually (pretend) promising to meet them at their hotels for more money ect...that's just bold face lying and asking for trouble.
As for contesting the charges? Not likely, especially with the two thumbprint deal, as far as that goes the deal is sealed.
If this isn't your thing then by all means don't do it and don't feel bad.
Cheer up, there will be other's!
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
with a guy like this, one who thinks he's hot shit cause he's throwing all this money around, i take a similar approach to paintgoddess. I'd probably say something like "haha! you wouldn't be able to handle me!" basically act like they wouldn't be able to keep up with you in bed or something. have a sassy attitude and maybe talk a little dirty. just be playful. you're not actually promising or suggesting anything, but you're engaging in the idea of having sex with them...the fantasy.
however, if he was constantly grabbing and groping me, i probably wouldn't waste my time. if he kept it up after telling him no, that would be it.
don't be too hard on yourself though.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
I have to say, I think I get more pleasure out of thinking about the looks on their faces when they find the receipts the next day than anything else... I had one asshole that I (somehow, dunno how) finagled a grand as a tip- he put it on his corporate card. Oooooh yeah, buddy. Try going before the board and explaining THAT one....That's what you get for being a grabby douche....;D
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
FUCK that. $10,000 would not have been enough, nevermind $3000. Ugh, my dignity is not for sale thankyouverymuch. Seriously, if I put up with that nonsense I would burn out of this business fast. I would rather make a respectable $500 and actually look forward to coming into work the next night.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
God. Ive totally been there VS and I can't handle that shit either. The thing is, we could be making all kinds of money by doing all kinds of things, but we have to protect our sanity sometimes and make those choices of what we are willing to do as part of our job.
And PaintGoddess, lately I've been more and more impressed by your insights
Quote:
What the guys don't realize is that as soon as they start asking those things, they are in fantasy land. Really. Especially with a girl like you who is NOT going to fuck them. Ever. So keep it in the realm of fantasy.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
I KNOW THAT DUDE !!!
Just kidding but I feel ya girl. It's hard to fake it sometimes especially with a prick like that. At least you made some cash and you walked away with your dignity.
Re: Honesty is not the best policy
I have this issue too. It just feels too GOOD to not tell them off. My mouth always gets me in trouble and I'm sure it's cost me a lot of money. I definitely sympathize.
Thanks for that response, paintgoddess. I really like the way you handle it.