Re: Advice from the ladies
I have a few customers that I enjoy. They are customers, like you, that don't spend a lot, but come in weekly. I dance maybe 4-8 songs on the floor for them. I might hang out 1 to three songs because I like their repeat business and they are nice people. I do not dance for them if I have CR potential with other custies, and they know this.
I think 1 hour is WAY to long for her to spend with you for that amount of money. Is she new to dancing? Are you buying her drinks? I am not interested in drinking but I see that that drives many dancers at my club. She might repect you a bit. But she would respect you a whole lot more if you paid her for her time. Maybe you shouldn't respect her. She sits for free, and then probably cries in the dressing room because she didn't make any money.
Re: Advice from the ladies
If you are someone that your dancer considers worthy of being respected and liked, she will respect and like you...just like any other person would. If she doesn't, she has probably already figured out what you crave, and will give you the illusion of that as long as she can for the money.
I don't understand how going to the strip club is a better option for you than what you did previously. So what if you're previous girlfriends wanted to take things farther? Even though you felt the need to end things and move on to another girl each of these times, isn't that better than what you are doing now? And what is the problem with letting a woman into your life while you are raising your kids and putting them through college? You've been upfront with them and all, and they want to be involved in it with you. What's so scary or crappy about that?
That money you're spending in the strip club would make a nice little college fund if you put it away (sorry girls).
hb
Re: Advice from the ladies
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tjjtycc
My question from the dancers is: even though you don't plan on dating your customers do you find that you enjoy spending time with some of them and actually like and respect some of them? I usually spend about an hour with this dancer when I go and have stated how much I spend. She does not seem eager to get away and has been very comfortable telling me when she is needs to go back at it (I usually need to leave before she has to end our time). Would you spend that much time with a customer you did not like or respect?
Sorry this is such a long post. New to site and not sure how this works. thanks ladies in advance for any insight you may have.
How about this: what do you care? There is no way to know whether she just has no idea how to make money or if she really likes you. Giving any thought to the matter is, therefore, giving too much. If you're happy with the situation, you're happy. If you find out that she's faking and she thinks you're a tool and that you're not "cute in a michael j fox way" at all - will you be happier?
Re: Advice from the ladies
Jenny:
That makes sense. My post was a ramble from a guy who had been up since 4:00 am, son had lost his basketball game, spent some time at the sc, and had a couple to many drinks. I don't want a relationship, so your right, what should it matter if she if faking liking me or not. I probably just read some of the dancer's posts and my ego could not stand having her think of me the way some of you have described your customers. I am the one who is choosing to go to a strip club to get my female companionship rather than deal with reality and date, so even if she does think I am a "tool" I should not be so ego driven to care.
In my job I have over 60 employees and I am sure some of them think I am a tool also. That does not bother me, so I will just have to get past caring if a women I am enjoying likes me or not, just enjoy having a hot body against mine without the hastle of rearanging my life. Although, the thrill of watching and barely being touched by pretty women is starting to wear off. Eventually I am going to need the real thing. I just hope it can wait until my kids are raised.
Shasta,
I did not realize that the amount I was spending was so little. I have little experience in clubs. I kind of figured that would be about average. I am a believer in paying someone what they are worth, so next trip to the club I will let her know that I can't spend more than what I have been and she should not feel any obligation to sitting around talking to me.
Hockeybobby,
I've tried the relationship route. My ex really screwed me over and for the reasons listed above I have just avoided dating.
Re: Advice from the ladies
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tjjtycc
Hockeybobby,
I've tried the relationship route. My ex really screwed me over and for the reasons listed above I have just avoided dating.
Jeez tj, what did she do to ya?
hb
Re: Advice from the ladies
what you have to understand is, we put up with a lot of shit. that doesn't mean we don't have good customers who we LIKE spending time with (just that we wish there were more of them).
if you are being respectful, kind, and not asking her to sit for two hours for that 30-60 bucks, i'm sure she's thankful that you come to see her.
Re: Advice from the ladies
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tjjtycc
I've tried the relationship route. My ex really screwed me over and for the reasons listed above I have just avoided dating.
I think it is important for guys to realize that hookers are cheaper and less trouble than wives and girlfriends and also cheaper then strippers. Your best bet is to just forget about the stripclubs and just get a hooker, you can have the GFE without the bullshit.
Re: Advice from the ladies
Okay, well, ignoring that^ ::) I'd like to say that I don't think she's faking liking you. If you want my opinion. You seem like a normal, sweet guy, who is respectful of her job and you aren't grabby and all that during her dances, so ya, she probably enjoys your company. Does she want to sleep with you or date you, most likely not. She probably has a boyfriend (even if she told you that she doesn't) and because you're a customer, she probably doesn't see you as anything more. That's how I am anyway. But I don't ever think my regulars are tools. Sometimes the married ones I think are a little sleazy...but you know, they are right?
Anyway, take it easy, it sounds like you are just under some pressure right now and soe relaxation at the SC is good for you :) , just don't read too much into it, have fun!
Re: Advice from the ladies
Thanks for all the advice. Holland's post is what I thought I had with this dancer. I would not want more from her, but I do like her as a person and enjoy talking to her. It is not a huge deal to me, but enjoy some of the women I have met and they have undone the unflattering stereotype I had of dancers.
I was just shocked by some of the posts about men by dancers on here, but I had not thought about the jerks and oddballs that are out there. The dancer I have been talking to has pointed out to me some guys in the club that have asked her out many times. She gets a good laugh at their expense and they seem pretty pitiful to me. Again, I have assumed right from the start that none of the dancers are there looking for dates, don't want to be asked out, and are there only to make money. I also assumed that they are like anyone else and want to be treated well at work and can like and enjoy both co-workers and customers.
Re: Advice from the ladies
Depending on what area of the country you are in, $30-60 might be a lot, average, or a little.
Re: Advice from the ladies
^and depending on the dancer it might seem like a lot or a little too. depenfding on how good of a hustler she is, which an hourfor $60 bucks means prolly not so much (unless once again you're in an above mentioned cheap pocket of the country)anyway well i'm sure she'd rather have your $60 than none at tall, so if she keeps coming back to get it, it prolly means she doesn't hate you
Re: Advice from the ladies
I would never sit with a custie who only spent $30-$60 for an hour. Shit I charge some customers $300 per hour.
Aside from that, yes I respect and enjoy the company of some of my regulars and others it is a minute by minute agonizing routine to pretend to like their company.
If you are respectful, don't try to touch or go beyond whatever her boundaries are and don't ask her out or any other PL shit then she might well like and respect you.
Re: Advice from the ladies
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jaizaine
I would never sit with a custie who only spent $30-$60 for an hour. Shit I charge some customers $300 per hour.
Aside from that, yes I respect and enjoy the company of some of my regulars and others it is a minute by minute agonizing routine to pretend to like their company.
If you are respectful, don't try to touch or go beyond whatever her boundaries are and don't ask her out or any other PL shit then she might well like and respect you.
Bingo. Unless I had gone through every other customer already and gotten their money, that's an awfully low number for her to feel loyal to you. My favorite regular customer is also the customer that I can count on to spend $200 on me every time I see him. I think he's fantastic, intelligent, cute, and a really good person--but I wouldn't spend an hour a night AT MY JOB with him if he weren't paying me what my time is worth. Which is more than $60.
Re: Advice from the ladies
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tjjtycc
I recently discovered strip clubs (I went to one for the first time in my life about 2 months ago). I have been going to one regularly and have enjoyed one particular dancer. She is only 25 and I like to think she enjoys talking to me. I am not dillusional and have assumed from the start that she is not there to find a date and neither am I. I really do miss the touch of a women and female companionship. I do not spend much when I go ($30-60), but is still more than I should. The dances are nice, but any touching sexually has been only from her body to my fully clothed and zipped up pants and a few teasing sexual touches during each dance. With that said, after reading some of the coments from the dancers on this site, it seems like you don't like or respect the men who come to your clubs. I really enjoy spending time with her, but would not enjoy it at all if she did not like and respect (not in a dating way). She seems to really enjoy our time.
My question from the dancers is: even though you don't plan on dating your customers do you find that you enjoy spending time with some of them and actually like and respect some of them? I usually spend about an hour with this dancer when I go and have stated how much I spend. She does not seem eager to get away and has been very comfortable telling me when she is needs to go back at it (I usually need to leave before she has to end our time). Would you spend that much time with a customer you did not like or respect?
Sorry this is such a long post. New to site and not sure how this works. thanks ladies in advance for any insight you may have.
Women can be rather strange. True story:
I went into a club one night where I knew a girl. I refer to her as #5. I told her not to pay any attention to me as I wasn't doing a VIP room. I was just trying to blow off some steam from some bad time at work. We spent the next 3 hours talking. I kept telling her to get to work. She kept saying she would rather talk to me, which I have always assumed is one of those "standard stripper lines." I tried to give her $150. I told her I understood that her business was just like mine (Time and materials, but since there was no materials, it was just time). She handed me the money back. She kept saying she didn't want it. Finally, she took it when I told her I'd just give it to someone else. I honestly felt bad for monopolizing 3 hours of her time when she is there to work. Some girls are just different.
BTW, the term "#5" is a personal nickname I have for this girl. Its not her stagename or a reference to "Number 6" from BSG, so don't erase this oh moderator gods. :)
The Totally Uncool One
Re: Advice from the ladies
$30-$60 is NOTHING for an hour.. And that's including dances? Whoa.. I wouldn't even want to go there as a customer, that's degrading IMHO
I do like and respect a lot of my customers, in fact I generally have a pretty good time at work with them. I will respect until (if) I am disrespected, then I will no longer be fun, sexy stripper!
Re: Advice from the ladies
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tjjtycc
Jenny:
Hockeybobby,
I've tried the relationship route. My ex really screwed me over and for the reasons listed above I have just avoided dating.
A word of advice on this. Just because your ex-wife screwed you over does not mean that all potential ex-wives are bad. You had a bad experience with one. Learn from it. Move on. Get back up on that horse. Find another lady that you would like to spend time with. Not every women is a bad person. Not every dancer is a "bad girl." Not every customer is a bad person. It only seems these ways when you limit your marketplace.
One word of warning to you. If you act as if you are helpless male, some girl will try and take you for a ride and see what she can get from you. I've seen it happen. You need to be careful given the mental state that you are in.
Mr. Uncool
Re: Advice from the ladies
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tjjtycc
I was just shocked by some of the posts about men by dancers on here, but I had not thought about the jerks and oddballs that are out there.
Shocked, really? Maybe I'm just jaded...I don't think we're really such manhaters on here. Please remember, if we post about a customer being a jerk, it's because he was SUCH a jerk that it was worth posting about. We don't post much about the guys who buy 3-5 dances, pay us, and go home. That doesn't mean they aren't out there. On the other hand, the level of male jerkiness is higher in strip clubs than many other places, which means if you can manage NOT to be a jerk for the length of 3-5 songs, your dancer probably likes you just fine.
Worry about this just enough to keep you acting like a gentleman, and no more.
Re: Advice from the ladies
I have several customers that I love spending time with and I enjoy the $$$ they give me for dances too!
Re: Advice from the ladies
I think if you look through some threads you'll quickly find what traits will make dancers not like you. Being smelly, grabby, wearing sweats, rude remarks, being captain save a ho, being the opposite, etc.
I think the only thing you have to worry about is the trait of being a bit cheap. $30-60 isn't bad (compared to assholes who usually have at least one of the other traits and insist you spend time with them for free) but not incredible either, so just don't have a shit fit if she wanders off to someone who will spend more.