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sitting for free and custies being dumb
This is happening to me more and more frequently.
I am walking through the club and a guy flags me down. I sit next to him for a song or two and then ask him for that dance. He replies "Oh no, I don't have any money. I just wanted to talk with you."
I want to let these guys know that it is not acceptable to do this without doing it in a bitchy way. Any suggestions?
Yesterday when a guy did this I said "You asked me to sit down and now I'm ready to dance for you." When he said he just wanted to talk with me as friends, I replied: "I'm at work." I really embarassed him in front of his buddies and one of his friends even apologized to me. I don't know if I went overboard then but I was not impressed.
I don't want to start asking for money upfront or something like that because a lot of guys who do flag me down spend a lot of money and would be put-off by me demanding money immediately.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
When they say no they just wanna talk say something like "okay well I need to get back to work then bye". That will give them the message. You could also ask them to tip you to sit there and talk if that is what they want but if they dont want to then u have to go work coz time is money.
I fucking hate guys who dont respect that. I had one tell my friend and i the other night that he couldn't pay us to sit there and talk coz that would make him a loser?? wtf a loser is what he was for saying that and not paying us for our time or getting dances.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Arg.... I would tell him he is more of a loser for not taking care of the woman sitting with him.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
"Okay... just so you know... it's customary when you ask me to come over here to compensate me for my time, either through dances or tipping. While I do enjoy meeting new people... well, I think you realize that I'm at work here. I mean, look at my shoes!"
Smile nicely as you say it.
Another way is to subtly bring up money very early in the conversation (like the first 20 seconds) but indirectly; mention dances to come like it is foregone conclusion - "when I dance for you later, you'll see... something or other: my tattoo, my hip to waist ratio, how well I can touch my toes, how these shoes look without the dress" or something like "Of course I love my job: gentlemen/guys (depending) like you pay me for doing this!"
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Ugh. That is very annoying. I usually ask for the dance within the first song, but if he waves me down I ask almost immediately. Either way, when PLs say "No I just wanted to talk" I just say "Well I'm at work and I have to get going. Flag me down later if you want to go in the back." And no you did not go overboard. Its a stripclub, not a really bad dating service.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
I hate it when tis happens and I always make a point of saying something like you did. Its annoying and I feel the need to point out thats its unacceptable so that they don't make the same mistake with another dancer.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
I still haven't figured out a way to get green out of these fuckers, just alcohol. I have tried just about every line above, and they still seem to either not get it, or they get but are playing dumb so they don't have to pay up. I'm thinking....WTF is the difference? If you buy me a drink, you are still in technically giving me money, well you are giving me SOMETHING for my time.... Luckily at my new club this hardly happens ever. Once so far, I sat with the guy forever, one of those bleeding hearts that won't shut up and you sorta feel sorry for. He kept leading me on dance wise...you know when they don't say no, but don't say yes? Like make some cheesy flirtatious comment? Then before you know it another song has passed...He asked if could buy me a drink. I ended up getting 2 glasses of our best red wine out of him, got a good buzz then had a killer money night.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jenny
"Okay... just so you know... it's customary when you ask me to come over here to compensate me for my time, either through dances or tipping. While I do enjoy meeting new people... well, I think you realize that I'm at work here. I mean, look at my shoes!"
Smile nicely as you say it.
Another way is to subtly bring up money very early in the conversation (like the first 20 seconds) but indirectly; mention dances to come like it is foregone conclusion - "when I dance for you later, you'll see... something or other: my tattoo, my hip to waist ratio, how well I can touch my toes, how these shoes look without the dress" or something like "Of course I love my job: gentlemen/guys (depending) like you pay me for doing this!"
Very good tips!!!
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Only my opinion, but the way that I believe the best way to handle the "talker" is to tell them that while I would absolutely love to sit and talk to them ALL night long, I am at work and have got to make money. If they don't offer to pay you to sit down and talk at this point, then just tell them nicely if they change their mind and want a dance later just let ya know!
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
I think this is more common locally. I mean, I get it *all* the fucking time. The only thing I've found that works is to not care if they think I am in fact there for their money. Oh, mon dieu! Whatever. Jenny's reasonableness doesn't even work with these guys. I've tried this approach, and they are oblivious. Any personal attention I give them = I must be willing to date them. How dare I think they need to pay for dances.
Like last night, a guy wanted a tour of the back room, the dance area. Ok, let's go! And then when I offered him a seat, he was all "oh, wait, no, I mean, I just wanted to see the new renovations...I don't get dances, I'm just here to drink". I said "oh", and gave him my best "well, fuck you very much" face, and left him. Fuck.
I think you have to be a bit bitchy, send the message. I don't care what they think of me, since they never want to spend dance money anyway. The customers that actually spend aren't like that at all.
So don't demand money immediately per se, but if they wave you down, don't spend more than a minute trying to sell the dance. Seriously, a song at the utmost MAX. If they flagged you down, they either want you to dance for them, and mostly if this is the case you say can immediately offer them to come with you, or else they are there to be time wasting scum. Do not worry about their feelings.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mollyzmoon
The only thing I've found that works is to not care if they think I am in fact there for their money.
I agree. We ARE "only in it for the money" and actual customers (as in, people who purchase a good or service) understand this. Last night I had some 20-year-old punk wave me over and try to get romantic with me. I indulged it for about thirty seconds and then suggested a dance, and he threw me that "you just want my money" line. To which I said, "That's true."
His eyes got all big, but then he got a dance. One. And of course afterwards he took a million years to pay me and kept on bitching about what a gold-digger I was. Ugh. If it had been a busier night, I wouldn't have bothered with him to begin with.
New Moon: I think the best thing you can do is bring up the dancing very early, and as an automatic assumption, like Jenny said. A common line for me, "So what have you been up to all day? [I work weekday nights, so the answer is always "work."] "Wow, I bet you're ready to relax now, aren't you?" ["Yes."] "OK, I'll see what I can do for you." *tee hee hee*
Don't sit too long before asking for that dance, either. Two-three songs MAX. Most guys know in the first minute if they want a dance, anyway. I find there's a point of diminishing returns with conversation. If you sit more than a few minutes, I find guys on average are actually LESS likely to buy dances. The exception is guys with whom you have really great rapport. Sometimes a little more conversation with these customers can turn into a CR sale. But those guys will usually let you know they are definitely interested by responding positively to early hints about dancing.
If you haven't sat too long, it's not a big loss if he tells you he just wants to talk. If you are feeling really ballsy, you can tell him conversation is $5 a minute and hold out your garter. I've only done this a few times, and only two guys ever gave me money, but it did get my point across.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mollyzmoon
The only thing I've found that works is to not care if they think I am in fact there for their money. Oh, mon dieu! Whatever.
Oh, I'm totally on your team with this smurfette; I not only "don't care" I sort of actively WANT and EXPECT them to realize that I am there for their money.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jenny
"Okay... just so you know... it's customary when you ask me to come over here to compensate me for my time, either through dances or tipping. While I do enjoy meeting new people... well, I think you realize that I'm at work here. I mean, look at my shoes!"
Smile nicely as you say it.
Another way is to subtly bring up money very early in the conversation (like the first 20 seconds) but indirectly; mention dances to come like it is foregone conclusion - "when I dance for you later, you'll see... something or other: my tattoo, my hip to waist ratio, how well I can touch my toes, how these shoes look without the dress" or something like "Of course I love my job: gentlemen/guys (depending) like you pay me for doing this!"
These are all good tips. I especially like the whole, "it's customary because YOU asked ME to come over here" thing.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jenny
Oh, I'm totally on your team with this smurfette; I not only "don't care" I sort of actively WANT and EXPECT them to realize that I am there for their money.
YES!!!!
These guys need to be trained so being assertive is best. What's worse is when some girl does fall for their BS and sits for free or for alcohol. These girls need to be trained too because they are ruining it for all of us.
Sitting for free does lead the guy thinking of you as potential date material :banghead:
I don't go to WORK because I need a date (I have said that to customers many times).
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
I HATE that....Give em a song..ask for a dance....he says no just say "hey look I'd LOVE to spend more time with you but theres a guy over there who wants to take me for some dances so I'll be back later" drop the hint, see what he says. Its a polite reminder that time is money.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Fuck all that. I always ask if they are wanting "some entertainment" as part of my introduction. If they say "sure, but can we talk for a song first" then I say "yha but lets move over to the couches b/c these chairs hurt" (which is true) talk for a song and then stand up and dance.
I work weekends, so I'm used to a busy club. It still works earlier in my night though, although I do sit longer because I'm just warming up and don't even count the first hour and half I'm there working (even though I do work!).
I grew up on stripper web, so I guess I really took the "don't sit with time wasters" motto to heart (I don't know what I'd do with out yall :) ).
I vote to ask them "are you interested in any entertainment tonight?:: Big smile/wiggle::" and only stick around if they say yes.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
"i appreciate an investment for my time."
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Re: only there for the money - any guy who disagrees won't give you any and any guy who agrees either laughs or appreciates your honesty. Really, I've NEVER had a problem saying I was only there for the money. I fucking AM. I try to make a joke of it, at least, "Money makes me horny. The more you give me, the more I come!"
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
I used to really milk the Socratic method thing with looker-non-tippers in the small club where I worked. *Especially* when they gave me an opening by giving me an excuse when I mentioned they weren't tipping. This one kind of has to have a friendly conversation as lead-in, though, in order to be taken well and not badly.
"What do you do for a living?"
(he answers)
"And your boss pays you when you've done your work, yeah?"
(either he gets it and you can move on to the hustle, or he doesn't...)
"So, how would you like it if you worked all day, and when it was time for your paycheck, your boss said (version of the same excuse)? .... I work on tips only." Or: "All of you are my boss."
A few guys got rude about it, but most of them just started tipping and some even were visibly grateful for the advice. It helped that I was in a working-class area, lot of auto repair / construction / factory guys...
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Quote:
Originally Posted by
NewMoon
I am walking through the club and a guy flags me down. I sit next to him for a song or two and then ask him for that dance. He replies "Oh no, I don't have any money. I just wanted to talk with you."
I want to let these guys know that it is not acceptable to do this without doing it in a bitchy way. Any suggestions?
Girl !! This guy is a stinker. Even I know that and I have never been to a SC. But then again I have been lurking here for more than 2 month.
Being a stripper is much more complicated than I thought to begin with.
Why don't you - politely - tell him how things work in a SC ? Maybe he don't know. I didn't before I get here :-[
'Can I please tell you how things work in a SC ... In case you don't know ... We have to pay $35 in housefee just to get in here ... Then we have to tip the DJ & the bouncers & the housemom & stuff ... depending ... So we are pretty much in the hole with $100 ... Before we have a chance to make $$$ ... In case you didn't know ... '
I know ... It's a little like ... the kitten teaching the cat ...
But that is my 2 cents !?!
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CherryBomb954
I still haven't figured out a way to get green out of these fuckers, just alcohol. I have tried just about every line above, and they still seem to either not get it, or they get but are playing dumb so they don't have to pay up. I'm thinking....WTF is the difference? If you buy me a drink, you are still in technically giving me money, well you are giving me SOMETHING for my time.... Luckily at my new club this hardly happens ever. Once so far, I sat with the guy forever, one of those bleeding hearts that won't shut up and you sorta feel sorry for. He kept leading me on dance wise...you know when they don't say no, but don't say yes? Like make some cheesy flirtatious comment? Then before you know it another song has passed...He asked if could buy me a drink. I ended up getting 2 glasses of our best red wine out of him, got a good buzz then had a killer money night.
mmm, just a reminder, drink, does not equal money, and if you're not getting paid you're selling yourself short, follow the hustle tips in this thread for better reults
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jenny
"Okay... just so you know... it's customary when you ask me to come over here to compensate me for my time, either through dances or tipping. While I do enjoy meeting new people... well, I think you realize that I'm at work here. I mean, look at my shoes!"
Smile nicely as you say it.
Another way is to subtly bring up money very early in the conversation (like the first 20 seconds) but indirectly; mention dances to come like it is foregone conclusion - "when I dance for you later, you'll see... something or other: my tattoo, my hip to waist ratio, how well I can touch my toes, how these shoes look without the dress" or something like "Of course I love my job: gentlemen/guys (depending) like you pay me for doing this!"
Very nice tips. Subtle, but letting them know straight up this is my job dammit. I don't wanna be your friend :)
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
I'm never subtle, LOL. I usually try to get them to pay for my time if they want me to stay. If not, I tell them "Sorry, but I've got bills to pay and must return to work now." :D
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jenny
"Okay... just so you know... it's customary when you ask me to come over here to compensate me for my time, either through dances or tipping. While I do enjoy meeting new people... well, I think you realize that I'm at work here. I mean, look at my shoes!"
Perfect thing to say! I love it.
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Re: sitting for free and custies being dumb
I dunno, I don't really see the purpose in being so nice to guys who purposely waste your time. Those dudes who flag you down with no intention of spending money aren't all naive and innocent - they know strippers are at work to make money and that they're taking up your money-making time. That whole "just wanna make friends" line is a load of horseshit they feed you to try and keep you there for free even longer. Some dudes actually consider it a game to see how long they can keep the stripper sitting for free.
I would be an absolute bitch to a guy like that. I don't give 2 shits if he never comes in the club again. Good riddance to time wasters!