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finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
i find it very difficult to upsell from a regular lapdance.
it's hard to imagine someone willingly hand over hundreds of dollars just for some time with me.
i'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything like that, or trying to be whiney, but it seems like such a big amount to me.
i have been trawling hustle hut (it's practically my bible!) but i'd like some tips on this please.
i do really well selling lapdances, i know i'm good, talk the talk and so on.
however, i do find it hard to bring up the other options and the only time i ever sell blocks of my time is when the guy suggests it, or if another dancer is hustling a couple of guys and they need an extra girl.
there are girls in my club who make a LOT more money than i do, simply because they manage to do this.
i've been doing this job for a year and a half, but can't seem to get my head around it!
is it simply having the 'balls' to ask for it?
halp mi :-\
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
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Originally Posted by
EarthPeople
is it simply having the 'balls' to ask for it?
Yep. And knowing you're worth it. You have to stop thinking about how much money it is (it's really not that much), and realize you are worth so much more than just money! Then it becomes easier to just know you are worth "several hundred dollars" or more!
And there's nothing wrong with faking it til you make it. If you have trouble convincing yourself you're worth that much money, just keep telling yourself YOU ARE until you believe it. It might also help to look at the dudes - why are THEY worth the money more than you?? Seriously. Why is that overweight old bald dude worth more money than you? He's not! Which is why he pays you for your company ;)
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
^i agree. you must repeat this to yourself as often as you can and behave accordingly: surround yourself with people who know how highly valuable you are (as a friend, mentor, etc.).
you are worth more money than any man could ever give you. another way to start thinking in the right direction is to repeat to yourself "this guy is lucky to be getting a dance from me!"
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
Agreed with the above two! Just before your song ends, remind him of how much fun you are having and that you want to keep going. If he says, "ok" then tell him straight up that the VIP/CR is available. Customers want to know what their options are...
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
How long have you been dancing, EarthPeople?
I went through this really bad when I was new.
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
thanks for the replies so far everyone, they really made sense to me. just need to put it into practice now... scary.
CherryBomb, i've been dancing just over a year but it's only the past few months i've really started to 'come into my own' in terms of dealing with the job, talking to the guys and dancing.
happened again tonight at work, i did ok, but some of the girls made more than double what i did, by selling their time to the guys :-\
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EarthPeople
thanks for the replies so far everyone, they really made sense to me. just need to put it into practice now... scary.
CherryBomb, i've been dancing just over a year but it's only the past few months i've really started to 'come into my own' in terms of dealing with the job, talking to the guys and dancing.
happened again tonight at work, i did ok, but some of the girls made more than double what i did, by selling their time to the guys :-\
Practice is scary, but you can totally do it. I have a prob with this too-I had never worked in a CR hustle club until last May. Frightening, yes, but I am much better now. I still get the gibblies about it, but I can say it all with a straight face now. :)
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EarthPeople
thanks for the replies so far everyone, they really made sense to me. just need to put it into practice now... scary.
CherryBomb, i've been dancing just over a year but it's only the past few months i've really started to 'come into my own' in terms of dealing with the job, talking to the guys and dancing.
happened again tonight at work, i did ok, but some of the girls made more than double what i did, by selling their time to the guys :-\
I had a feeling you were kinda new. It's because I am around that one year mark myself, and I totally know how it feels to be going through all this. I used to feel guilty about taking peoples money, or should I say hustling. I had a hard time selling VIP and whatnot, cause I felt guilty for guys handing over hundreds of dollars to me! Thanks to SW, some great frinds and pushing myself to improve, I got over it. You will get totally over it. Another way I lok at it is , in any other job, when you work, you expect compensation, right? Well all you are doing is getting paid for the work you have done. Work = Pay.
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
I've been dancing for more than two years, and I still have a problem with this. Despite the fact that I've SEEN guys hand me hundreds of dollars for a few hours of time, I still don't beleive it'll ever happen again. I still sometimes sell myself way too short, and kick myself every time.
I guess it's just practice, and faking it till you make it. It does get easier, and the more confidence you have as you name your price, the more likely guys are to go for it.
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
I agree with what CK said....customers like to know their options. I don't like hard-hustling CRs sometimes, because I don't want them to feel pressured or too hustled. Plus sometimes it feels unnatural. Here is what I do:
ME: Blah blah blah, so would you like to go to the back? **notice I didn't say lapdance**
HIM: OK
and as I'm taking them back I say "We have the lapdance room and the champagne room, which one do you think will be more fun?" or I might ask "Where are we going, lapdance room or champagne room?"
1) They could ask "Whats the champagne room like?" Then I will describe it, emphasis it is better than a lapdance. Very rarely do they go right away, but usually they will say something like "Well, lets start with a lapdance, and we'll see where it goes"
2) BUT Most of the time they will say "lapdance room." Either way, it is in his head that there IS a champagne room.
In either case I just proceed to give them a hell of a lapdance, and if they have money and liked it enough they bring up the CR again :)
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
i once got a ride from a taxi driver who bitched about how expensive lapdances are and i told him i think they should be triple as much and he said they should be free. i said if he didn't have money, the beautiful dancers didn't want him coming to the club.
lots of guys seem to think that they have a god given right to have beautiful women in their laps and well, those guys are fucking morons. when you think that you don't deserve hundreds for your time and presence you are agreeing with that douche bag driver. :) think of it like that.
it's not your business to save their money or keep them in business. they come there knowing full well what goes down at a strip club and if they aren't paying something they are stealing. if they pay lots they are behaving well and the reason strippers make so much is because it's a difficult job and not a lot of women are willing to do it- so make your money and feel entitled to make more and more.
that's the philosophy i am working on anyway
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
It's so much easier said then actually done, but yes, you do have to believe that you are worth it. I've kicked myself so many times for not "selling" a custy a CR & just settling for a few dances. After work I usually reflect on the night & if I don't get at least 1 CR then it's usually because I didn't seize the moment. Making the most of each customer- and that means always suggesting the best (& most expensive) options. Your time is valuable! I try to remember this: you are never going to get that time back so make the most of it!
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
if you cant believe it, and i mean this in the best way, you're in the wrong profession.
see, everything you think comes through to the customer whether you want it to or not. in the beginning, we all have a problem accepting our time is worth hundreds and thousands, but we need to move beyond that and just start to pep ourselves up.
when i was a newbie, i used to pep myself up in the mirror on my way to work. "you are worth hundreds! you're the hottest girl in the club. you WILL take ALL their money and they WONT be able to resist you!" yes, it sounds silly, but when i'd get to work, i'd step onto the floor knowing that i was worth it. that attitude would come through in my walk, in my stage show, and eventually in my approach. sometimes i'd get asked to dance by customers. but regardless, i would become more and mroe confident, and then i got to the point of never needing the pep talk and always knowing i was the best dancer in the club (whether it was true or not).
each time you get a dance, do what cutey does. "let's go have some fun!"
"ok"
"so, should we have a lapdance, or a VIP?" (as you say vip, make sure you are coy and slightly nodding, SUBTLY not blatantly)
"uhhh what's the VIP like?"
"Oh, it's much more intimate, and you get a MUCH better dance. Plus, you'll get 3 songs/20 minutes etc. instead of one song which is NEVER enough."
again, if you cant swallow that you're worth it, you won't end up making double what you have been, as you said others are saying. good luck. if you need more tips, feel free to PM!
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
Also...WHY do you feel unworthy of receiving loads of cash? What is it that's making you doubt yourself? It's worth doing some self-exploring and figuring out why, so you can change it.
For me it was something physical making me insecure. I felt like "I'm fat and plain-looking; I have no right to ask for large amounts of money...why would anyone pay me $x, or take me to a room, or do more than 2 dances?" As soon as I lost weight and got rid of the source of the mindset that caused me to sell myself short, the insecurity vanished and I made real money. Now I've slipped back into old habits, the "I'm not worth real money" attitude came back full force.
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
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Originally Posted by
Chrissy68
when i was a newbie, i used to pep myself up in the mirror on my way to work. "you are worth hundreds! you're the hottest girl in the club. you WILL take ALL their money and they WONT be able to resist you!" yes, it sounds silly, but when i'd get to work, i'd step onto the floor knowing that i was worth it. that attitude would come through in my walk, in my stage show, and eventually in my approach. sometimes i'd get asked to dance by customers. but regardless, i would become more and mroe confident, and then i got to the point of never needing the pep talk and always knowing i was the best dancer in the club (whether it was true or not).
I totally do this! I've been in a slump lately and not doing it. I think I need to start again. :) IT WORKS!
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
When I first started dancing, I felt bad for getting $400 for sitting and drinking with a guy in CR for an hour. I couldn't understand why anyone would pay that first of all, and I felt like I was crazy for accepting it. Then I realized that the guy was more than happy to pay just to spend time with me, and maybe I am an interesting person who is entertaining and lonely guys or guys who need to enhance fantasies are willing to pay good money to have me. Once you get over that weird feeling, it will be an ego boost. There's no harm in trying to upsell yourself. Worst thing they can say is no.
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
The first one is always the hardest to sell, but once you sell one then that trigger clicks over. You realize that wow, yes, guys WILL pay that much money to spend time with you! And then you start believing you're worth it.
I found that my time as a professional Domme served me well in stripping. I stopped thinking of the money in their wallet as "theirs," and started thinking of it as "mine." Assume that the money is already yours - don't say anything, just know it's there and it already belongs to you. I swear they pick up on that signal somewhere in the subconscious and they become a lot more eager to hand it over.
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
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Originally Posted by
Picaresque
Now I've slipped back into old habits, the "I'm not worth real money" attitude came back full force.
Isn't it weird how it can come and go? Fall of 2006, I sold me the hell out of some CRs. For someone reason, I just stopped making those sales. I don't ask as much anymore, so guys don't say yes as much. I really need to get my head turned around. I'm going to take Chrissy's advice and start telling myself how hot I am on the way to work.
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
i have always noticed confidence is EVERYTHING. i proved it to a friend who swore up and down i was so hot that there was no way i could ever not be noticed. So i took him to a bar and brought my make up case and a LBD and heels, and when we got there went in first in my baggie jeans and tshirt, no make up, and hair in a pony, walking like normal. No one looked, my friend was amazed. Then i went back to the car, put on my hot look and walked back in like i owned it, and EVERY male head turned. See, take the time to believe you own it, and you will.
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
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Originally Posted by
xoxoGracexoxo
Isn't it weird how it can come and go? Fall of 2006, I sold me the hell out of some CRs. For someone reason, I just stopped making those sales. I don't ask as much anymore, so guys don't say yes as much. I really need to get my head turned around. I'm going to take Chrissy's advice and start telling myself how hot I am on the way to work.
I did this on Friday! I sold 10 dances in my first hour and a half, while the other chicks were crying about how bad it was. Sadly there was drama, but at least I got my mojo back!
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
This is the best thread I've ever read on SW, and I so needed it. Thank you!
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Chrissy68
if you cant believe it, and i mean this in the best way, you're in the wrong profession.
see, everything you think comes through to the customer whether you
want it to or not. in the beginning, we all have a problem accepting our time is worth hundreds and thousands, but we need to move beyond that and just start to pep ourselves up.
when i was a newbie, i used to pep myself up in the mirror on my way to work. "you are worth hundreds! you're the hottest girl in the club. you WILL take ALL their money and they WONT be able to resist you!" yes, it sounds silly, but when i'd get to work, i'd step onto the floor knowing that i was worth it. that attitude would come through in my walk, in my stage show, and eventually in my approach. sometimes i'd get asked to dance by customers. but regardless, i would become more and mroe confident, and then i got to the point of never needing the pep talk and always knowing i was the best dancer in the club (whether it was true or not).
each time you get a dance, do what cutey does. "let's go have some fun!"
"ok"
"so, should we have a lapdance, or a VIP?" (as you say vip, make sure you are coy and slightly nodding, SUBTLY not blatantly)
"uhhh what's the VIP like?"
"Oh, it's much more intimate, and you get a MUCH better dance. Plus, you'll get 3 songs/20 minutes etc. instead of one song which is NEVER enough."
again, if you cant swallow that you're worth it, you won't end up making double what you have been, as you said others are saying. good luck. if you need more tips, feel free to PM!
Chrissy, your advice is fantastic!
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
thankyou so much to everyone for the advice :D
i think the problem i have is despite the fact i've done this for some time and i'm 25 years old, when i imagine myself dressed up in my stripper gear, in my head i see an awkward lanky teenager dresing up in someone else's clothes.
i have started to really try and see myself as a sexy fucking bitch (in my head, that's the phrase i use!) and i have been telling myslf that i AM worth the money and MORE.
there haven't been that many opportunities for upsells but i have set myself a goal that i will ask at least one potential guy every night. the more i do this, the easier it is to bring up.
i try and ask someone who has had a few dances if they would like half an hour or an hour and while i haven't been massively succesful yet (money isn't fully recovered from xmas yet) i am so pleased with myself for making the progress and even ASKING for such a thing in the first place.
i'm actually excited to meet a guy who will buy my time because i am confident now that i will be able to bring it up in conversation.
this thread has really helped me though and even though the past week at work hasn't been great i have much more confidence in myself and i have been laphopping like mad and not letting rejection get to me!
there have been a few girls who have made substantial money this week but they found a really drunk guy and took advantage of him. like not tipsy drunk but stumbling around drunk. i don't feel right doing that, so i will wait til we pick up again in the club business wise and pick out the right guy.
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
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Originally Posted by
xoxoGracexoxo
Isn't it weird how it can come and go? Fall of 2006, I sold me the hell out of some CRs. .
wait... how do you sell CRs where you are?
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Re: finding it hard to believe i am worth large amounts of cash?
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Originally Posted by
BrodieLux
Chrissy, your advice is fantastic!
and it's all thanks to that stripping 101 class i took freshman year in college... ;D