My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
Here's the background: I have a great regular who has been seeing me ever since I started dancing (3 years ago, with almost a year break in there) he would come in twice a month or more and we'd do a few hours of laps.
My club does not have any VIP option besides $20 dances. I can manage to get off stage for the duration, but only by tipping the DJ's and I know it puts them under scrutiny from management at times, so I know it isn't ideal for them.
So the first time I danced for him, he just told me to dance until he said to stop. Then afterwards he handed me some hundreds. I had literally only started dancing that week, so I didn't really know what to ask for. He seemed to pay me around $400 for a few hours usually.
I'll also say he is an absolute pleasure to be around. A solid gentleman, and someone who I honestly consider a friend. I will want to know him even after I stop dancing. He also hasn't ever asked for OTC action or anything personal of me. Sort of crazy actually.
So the deal is, the $$$. He always comes in during the day, and with a slow club and me being a newbie, the money he was paying was fine. But now, I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. Lately, he has been coming in more often, usually twice a week, and spends longer, sometimes staying for my entire shift (6 hours :O ) he wants me to lapdance for him for this entire time and the pay is becoming more like $100 an hour. He'll hand me $600 for 5 hours. I know some of you are thinking that is ungodly and I shouldn't do it, and that's why I'm here. I'm starting to feel bad about it, because the days when he doesn't come in are becoming the same money wise as the days when he does, the only difference being that I have to lapdance nonstop for 5 hours and I feel exhausted afterwards and also I have to tip out more generously because of what I'm asking of the djs and management versus when he doesn't come in and I take it easy and make a couple hundred here and there and stage money etc. I mean I'm a more savvy dancer now, and have other regulars who I charge $400 for one hour (yes, they only come in once every few months...).
But help me SW gurus! I know the answer is just ask for more money, but it's killing me. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot you know? I mean, I'm so lucky to have this kind of a regular, he's made it clear that his patronage will be consistent for as long as I dance.
But $600 for 5 hours is not cool right? Or do I need to look at the bigger picture? Like the annual amount...
Any cute lines, or ways of bringing it up??? This is driving me crazy because I don't want to say the wrong thing or appear greedy. I don't know what to do. Sorry this is so long, but thank you for reading.
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
$600 to hang out at the bar with your customer is awesome in this town, but $600 for five hours of solid dancing is not cool. He should be, at bare minimum, paying you $20 a song, right? Is this not happening? Are you literally dancing for more than 30 songs for the dude? Because if that is the case, his coolness aside, he is getting a steal. I mean, I'm all about throwing a bonus at the good customers, but it seems like he just doesn't realize how much he's lowballing you.
Tell him that the DJ is starting to get in trouble with management and can't skip you unless you are specifically bought out of stages for your shift, which will cost $(amount you want to add on). This will not be a lie, as you should not have the DJ skip you anymore unless the customer is taking care of that expense for you by compensating you fairly enough so that you can take care of the DJ.
Alternatively, let him know your dances are being counted and that your tipout will be expected to correlate, so you're going to have to charge by the song now and keep track of songs, but that if he would like to continue with a flat rate you can let him have a hour for $(whatever you can get).
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
i agree with susan!!! however, if you are just sitting on your cute little tush... that's good $$ imo.
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
Also, again, if he really is as nice as you say, he just might not realize how much he's lowballing you. Say that there are, oh, 15 songs (low count) in an hour. That's $300. If you are dancing for five hours -- let's say four, to account for bathroom/water breaks -- that's $1200 worth of dances. Perhaps some gentle doing of the math will get him to make up the difference. Or meet you halfway. Because if he goes up to $900 per visit I say take it and shut up because there's no way you can guarantee that kind of money to yourself here!
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
on the other hand, this guy is coming in more often-- yes he's lowballing, but it's a matter of if you could make that amount guaranteed twice a week without him.
you probably could, but it's nice to know it's guaranteed.
if it's a matter of dancing the whole time, start to take breaks with him. hang back and grab a drink and then start dancing. see if he pays you the same amount.
maybe talk about some pretty frilly thing you hypothetically want to buy that you're saving up for-- see if he'll pay extra that night.
I guess it depends on your area.
I would love to be guaranteed $600 for 5 hours, but he needs to at least be paying the overhead on that so you're walking OUT with $600.
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
I think I might die if I lapdanced for 5 consecutive hours non-stop.
First I wouldn't expect more money - I would expect less time or less dancey-dancey and more talky-talky.
Second - there is always a risk in this. Are you willing to lose the guaranteed income? Just consider.
I would go with "So - we've had a change in rates here. You wanna hear?" And tell him that the change essentially means that it is X hundred to hang out per hour with the occasional dance and Y hundred per hour for constant dance time. If he asks what prompted the change in rate, say that someone brought it to your attention that you are undercharging as per the club standard?
Chances are good that he doesn't require actual dance time constantly, and is more interested in hanging out, and will choose the lower rate - is that okay by you?
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
Yeah, I've had border-line similar issues with a few guys. It comes down to, as others have said, I'm okay with a good hourly amount if I'm not having to straight dance for the entire hour. If I'm dancing nonstop, it's tiring, and not worth a bargain rate.
The way I see it, I generally make $80-130/ hour just by working the room, on a good night. So if a guy wants me for a set amount of time, and it's one of those guys where I'll be just chatting on his knee for half the time, then something like $250/ hour or so is cool. On a slow shitty night, I might make it $175/ hour. But if I'm dancing every song, I just find it easier to charge per song. It's one thing to chat/ dance for an hour, since that's easier, but to constantly be lapdancing for more than 20-25 songs? I've done it, and it's totally exhausting.
You already know it's not really in your best interest if you're questioning it...Like they said, you don't have to ask for more money necessarily, but you can try to do something other than everything he wants for the price. Negotiation can be weird if you've known him for a while, but it's in your best interest.
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
Jenny totally came up with the suggestion I thought of. Listen to Jenny. She is smart.
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
I agree..blame it on the club. Say you are getting in trouble for tipping half what you should(since he's paying half..$600 vs $1200)and the DJ is getting yelled at for taking you off stage. SO you either have to go on stage or make more money because you dont want to get fired for looking like you are screwing the club out of money.
Then YOU arent asking for more..the CLUB is.Guys are less likely to protest that because they dont want you to get in trouble
If you can...tip a bouncer or manager to say it FOR you. I do that with one of my high roller custies. If it comes from ME its a hustle...if it comes from a bouncer or manager its just the clubs policy. Last time the bouncer mentioned it to him and he immediately took out $2000 to give to me and my friend(who he had invited to join us) so we could stay with him. It works.
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
Thank you ladies so much. I'm going to take your advice ladies - I think I'll mention the clubs cut to keep me off stage, and I will sit and hang more, just for my own sanity. As it is, I do dance every single song, and every single break song. I mean sometimes I run and go pee, but it is really tiring. You know, thighs burning, the skin on my wrists has broke open before from holding onto the couch over his head.
I love this guy and it is a case of what Susan said, he doesn't think he is lowballing, he would be really upset to learn that I'm unhappy. It is just a case of I never set a standard, and we've never discussed it.
Quote:
fter all, this site is filled with stories of how easy it is to replace a customer who generates, by your own account, $62,400 in annual income, especially those who don't insist on taking it OTC or getting personal with you.
I guess this is sarcasm - but regardless, we aren't talking about this kind of money. The times vary from 3 hours anywhere up to 7 hours at a time, its the time per hour, that hovers around $100 an hour for straight laps. I mean for $60K from one dude I'd keep my trap shut! ;D
I don't know. The advice you've all given is just what I need to hear, I'm going to reread it all and hopefully get the balls to say something this week.
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Chili Palmer
By all means, ask him for more money.
After all, this site is filled with stories of how easy it is to replace a customer who generates, by your own account, $62,400 in annual income
That's why she's asking, Chili, because obviously in the actual club it is hard for her to ask this customer who she obviously likes for more money. But while he isn't asking her for anything other than dances, he is actually lowballing her, and she wouldn't try to replace him, she just needs to replace 5 dances an hour. Have you ever assumed a 66% discount from a dancer you've patronized regularly?
holiday, I'm just curious as how you never realized earlier "Hey, I do 15-20 dances in an hour. Why did he only pay me $100/hr?"
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
Quote:
holiday, I'm just curious as how you never realized earlier "Hey, I do 15-20 dances in an hour. Why did he only pay me $100/hr?"
Oh, I definitely realized what was up - I just don't know how to change it. I know that sounds unbelievable chicken, but it's just hard when there is such a precedent and it's been so long. But with the frequency lately it is just reaching a tipping point with me. It is just one of those things that I feel is sensitive and I am worried his feelings will be hurt and I'll kill a guaranteed thing, on the other hand, I hope I am just overly worried and once I say something I'll just be so relieved that I did. :( I just go back and forth because you know - he'll show up monday afternoon, and I'll think great there is my $xxx while all the other girls are panicking, but then he'll show up another day when I know I could be getting just as much in a lot less time. But it probably evens out to be worth it to keep him happy... :-\
Re: My sit. with a reg., I want to ask for more money...
I would try to still give him a deal, since it is worth it; tell him that you are supposed to be charging by the song (because you really are; I know that other dancers would probably not think it was cool if they found someone doing an hour's worth of dances for, effectively, $7 a song), but that you really don't want to price him out or abuse his generosity, and so what kind of arrangement will work for him? More sitting time? An hourly rate? Talk to him, be as nice and respectful as possible, but still convey that your time is valuable.