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I think my marriage is over
So, yeah. I'm just not happy at all, and haven't been for some time. R says I make him miserable and he doesn't like to be around me. I feel the same way. He says he thinks the good outweighs the bad so he doesn't see the bad as being too big of an issue to solve.
I don't want to make him unhappy. I want us both to be happy. We can't stop arguing, and he makes me extremely angry many times.
I told him I don't think I can love him the way he needs. Maybe because I feel manipulated and controlled, or maybe I'm just too unhappy.
Either way, I think divorce is in the horizon. I said I want it, I'm trying to find another solution in my head, but I don't see one.
:-\:'(
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Re: I think my marriage is over
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Re: I think my marriage is over
Wow, I'm really sad to hear you are in this position. You really are a great supportive person, and deserve the best. If you REALLY feel this way can you try a break to see if it's real. Maybe you just need some time to feel free. I had to do this with E and I realized just how much I loved him. I was being needy too and realized this during our break. Things are much better for us and have been for a long time. We plan on a wedding in September.
I know, a little, how you feel and I wish you the best. Take some time, think about it, talk about maybe through some couples counseling and see if it could work out. If it can't/won't then don't prolong happiness.
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Have you guys seen a marriage counselor?
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Oh sweetheart...
I wish there was something I could say to make it better. Just know that I'm here. :hug:
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Re: I think my marriage is over
threadjack, stella I love the new avatar.
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I'm so sorry honey. I agree that a trial separation and counseling is in order before you give up. I know you have both been under SO much stress lately and that takes its toll on even the best of marriages.
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I think it might be a good thing. I know you must really be hurting, but from your posts here it seems like he's really been dragging you down. You married really young, right? Maybe you just need the time to come into your own.
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We have been to counselors before.
He has said in the past if I brought up not being together that he didn't want to even bother with separation.
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ugh..so sorry. I'm not sure what steps to take next then. What about planning a vacation away for an extended weekend. Tell him you want to get back to the root of the relationship, the love and intimacy of it. Would he go for that? Maybe you could rekindle something.
If he wouldn't go for it, I'm not sure what I'd do next.
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I can sympathize with how you feel. You sound like me with my first husband. Just plain miserable with no foreseeable light at the end of the tunnel. Staying in a place that makes you unhappy will do no good. You need to find your own happiness, and if that means leaving the current situation than so be it. Sometimes just getting away enables you to look back and see a clear solution. Maybe divorce papers need to be filed, or just a liitle time to find yourself. Either way do whats good for you and not whats good for anyone else.
*hugs*
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I'm so sorry, it's got to be a horribly difficult decision. Maybe this will allow you to persue some other dreams and goals you have. I hope everything turns out well, and know I'm only a letter or pm away if you need a hug or to vent or anything.
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We don't have the kind of money to have an extended vacation. :(
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Well..I know you've been miserable lately so maybe this change will bring you out of it.Sad to say,but sometimes marriages arent meant to last.
If you can get here...you are MORE then welcome to stay with me for awhile completely for free.
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:(
Are there any fairs of any sort coming up where you can go and act like a kid for a day. Something that would help rekindle what you had? If not, there's not much else. If you need someone to talk to privately feel free to pm me. I can lend a good shoulder.
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I've said this before and I'll say it again. You are a young girl with a promising future. He has dragged you down long enough. Its time to move forward. Just do it already, save the best years of your life for yourself. I do wish you the best of luck, no matter what your endeavour.
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I'm so sorry to hear about this.
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It sounds like I've missed some posts on how he's been treating you. I'm sorry if I've come across insensitive then. If this is ongoing, then it's time to move on. You can't take care of anyone else if you're not first taking care of you!
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*cyber-hug*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BrunetteGoddess
We have been to counselors before.
He has said in the past if I brought up not being together that he didn't want to even bother with separation.
i'm not particularly liking that last ultimatum though. it's just not helpful if he doesn't want to explore options.
that was the issue with my ex. she didn't want counseling, separation, or whatever. it was either live in misery and arguements or a divorce.
sometimes it has to be a divorce but R sounds like he still cares for you at least. (it wasn't that way with my ex, although we're still very good friends) but maybe you guys can still save it if he's (still) willing to try?
what did the counselors say? (if we may ask)
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:hug: I'm sorry, BG. I have to agree a little with Katrine, you've sounded so unhappy for a long time. It sounds like R needs to sort out his own life a lot, too.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
RoseLeigh
:hug: I'm sorry, BG. I have to agree a little with Katrine, you've sounded so unhappy for a long time. It sounds like R needs to sort out his own life a lot, too.
I agree, you always sound so unhappy, and you deserve better then that.
I'ld love to tell you money doesn't matter, but that is BS. Money matters a whole lot. They say it's the #1 most common marriage fight. :(
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I'm sorry to hear this but we all know you have been unhappy for quite some time now.You are young you got looks and brains get out there and find yourself.Hell the Peace Corps or something simular not everything costs a lot of $$.You have lots of potential and I don't know for sure if R made you feel as if you didn't, but I can see it.;)
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:grouphug:
I'm sorry. I know you WILL find a way to be happy somehow, either with him or likely without him.
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agreed with katrine too.
Its not the end, its the start of better things to come.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lola Rose
I agree, you always sound so unhappy, and you deserve better then that.
I'ld love to tell you money doesn't matter, but that is BS. Money matters a whole lot. They say it's the #1 most common marriage fight. :(
True enough. Ordinary marriage stress turns into serious strain when money is also a concern. Happens to the very best couples. I very much hope you find a path that makes you happy, Beegs.