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Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
Is it just me, or for some reason, do the non dancer employees of strip clubs (managers, djs, etc) for some reason feel like it's more appropriate to hug/touch/tickle the dancers than at a regular job? This has been so obnoxious at work for me lately.
Just because I dance, that doesn't mean I want you to touch me. Don't give me a hug!Don't tickle me! Just don't. Respect my boundaries. People should know when that level of touching is appropriate, and when it isn't.
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
cos of that touching i stoped dancing for 3 years now. i wanna dance again but.... i dont like being touched exept my boyfriend or a guy that im attracted to
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I hate this shit more than anything! It is so fucking unprofessional! HELLO! You could get fired for that! And sued! We put up with that behavior from customers because <gasp> they pay us. I am so glad this doesn't happen as often at my current club. But the next dickface employee that oversteps his boundaries is getting charged $20 and will receive a spike heel in his nut sack.
If this happens to you on the regular from someone you have to tip out, just don't tip anything. Like, not even a dollar. I did that to a pervy DJ once. Fucker. You're not paying for my services, why should I pay for yours?
Ugh, the worst is when mgmt acts this way.
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Yeah, this annoys me too.
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Annoying. I'm pretty good with personal boundaries but I hated to see this w/ the other girls.
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
Our club has a sexual harrassment policy that everyone has to read and sign. I haven't noticed a problem with inappropriate touching by employees or managers.
Threadjack--Why do other dancers think it is okay to smack my ass? It's not okay, unless I tell you it is!!
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
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Originally Posted by
Glamazon
Why do other dancers think it is okay to smack my ass? It's not okay, unless I tell you it is!!
:-[ Sorry..... I only do it if I feel I know another dancer well enough to know she wouldn't mind.
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
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Originally Posted by
VeraLynn
:-[ Sorry..... I only do it if I feel I know another dancer well enough to know she wouldn't mind.
The girls that I know well know not to do it. It's usually some newbie who *thinks* we're friends.::)
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
Yeah. I actually think that they are told it is a perk of the job when they start. I'm serious. I actually think they are told this. One of the kitchen staff asked to hug me the last time I worked (of course lots of strange people ask to hug me, so it's hard to say how to attribute that). I documented the ongoing humpings I was subject to from my dj. It's so obnoxious. And they are relying on the fact that it is hard to make a scene. It just sucks.
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
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Originally Posted by
Jenny
I actually think that they are told it is a perk of the job when they start. I'm serious. I actually think they are told this.
I agree... I'm certain that many guys accept the low-paying, high-drama job of club bouncer because they think they will not only get to see naked girls all the time, but touch them too. Bah. I was waaay better at shoving away the prying hands of staff members than even those of customers... with custies there was that momentary hesitation of, "Hmm, I had better be polite and strategic about wiggling away from this embrace, because I still want more of this dude's money," whereas with coworkers I had no qualms giving a firm and cheerful shove. But then, I always played up my eccentricities wildly in the DR so I was left alone by the other staff; I made sure to never be known as that friendly, cuddly stripper.
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
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Originally Posted by
Glamazon
The girls that I know well know not to do it. It's usually some newbie who *thinks* we're friends.::)
I'd also want to know gently to not do it again, if I did it and was mistaken in it being "okay."
Like.. "Hey, please don't slap my ass, I don't like it" would be just fine.
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<leaps in> I NEVER touch a dancer I'm working with (unless dating)....ever...... Not even if shes full on flirting with me. I look at my booth as a safe haven for girls, a place to vent and NOT be touched by a guy because I figure they have enuff of that through out the shift. I think its highly unprofessional to do otherwise..... <leaps out>
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This really pisses me off! One particular host always touches me as we're entering VIP in front of my custy! It's like he's patting me like a dog. Stop it!
As for the spanking, if you're my friend you know better. The newbs that try it, learn quick. I really don't get why girls do it?
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lol, I almost forgot about gratuitous touching by the other girls. I feel like people should know when it is appropriate to be in someone elses personal space, but some people we work with just have no clue.
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
I believe it is absolutely more common at a club than a 9-5. Girls are walking around naked and sexuality is not a hidden thing, so some feel it's appropriate. Not to mention half the strippers have had some kind of sexual relationship with a manager or other staff member. I don't know how common it is to sleep with co-workers at other kinds of establishments, but I think the liquor and nakedness go a long way in diminishing the boundary lines. Not that it's okay, I just think that's what happens.
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One bouncer actually took me aside like he had something to tell me, I went along with it he is cool and gave me no reason to be worried. Then he pulls his dick out.::)
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
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Originally Posted by
PleasureVictim
One bouncer actually took me aside like he had something to tell me, I went along with it he is cool and gave me no reason to be worried. Then he pulls his dick out.::)
:rotfl:
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
The managers always were slapping our asses and grabbing our boobs and shit. Ya know, the first few times it's funny....blah blah, but when they always do it, it's like okayyyyyy buddy, next time you do that I better be getting some $$$ lol. But at my new club the bouncers/managers don't do that(which is good) They flirt, but they're never grabbing our asses and shit
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
So, do any of you tell them not to do it?
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
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Originally Posted by
Lena
So, do any of you tell them not to do it?
I only mentioned being uncomfortable in an ongoing situation with one manager. Otherwise, I brush it off as commonplace and not meant as anything more than casual, like a high five. Honestly, if I took everything as personally as I would in any other situation, I'd have gone out of my mind a long time ago. Not that I've been sexually assaulted or anything, but the lines of appropriateness between colleagues is blurred in the strip club. At least in my experience.
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
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Originally Posted by
Lena
So, do any of you tell them not to do it?
I learned. I mean you sort of want to rely on "social cues" to avoid confrontation, but when they willfully ignore social cues, you have to.
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They don't try it with me. I am very serious looking away from customers, and I give off such a chilly vibe...they just don't try it, I guess. I am for serious the coldness, squirminess person with unwanted physical attention. And yes, saying 'oh..ahhh, haha, please! don't...ahhhh!!'. Flinching REALLY hard when they touch me is also effective, like even just flicking my ponytail, but maybe i haven't met any SUPER assholes. That sucks though. I hate to be touched if they're not paying for it. There are customers that try to hug me too much after the dance, and I even shove those guys away...nicely, but firmly.
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Annoys the shit out of me.
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I don't like when other dancers touch me either. I don't know what to say to these people -- managers as well as co-workers -- because I want them to have a positive, relaxed vibe toward me. I figure I just have to put up with it. It's better than drama. Especially when it comes to the manager. Where I work, it's nothing too intense. No ass or boob grabbing.
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Re: Gratuitous touching by employees/managers
My club is super-professional with well spelled out rules, so I've actually had less of a touching problem as a dancer than I did as a waitress in a restaurant.