Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
I just got back from the ultrasound....and I'm having a boy! (Drat, no baby heels from Beyonce's new line.) More importantly, everything has gone perfectly since a scare I had right at the beginning (bleeding and cramping for a week), and all the tests have come back normal (kind of a biggie for me since I am adopted and have zero knowledge of past family history).
I've been thinking all day about the difference between boys and girls....obviously it goes much deeper then ruffles vs. dump trucks. Boys in our culture are always encouraged to "be tough" and hold it all in. They are encouraged to "take it like a man" and be more physically aggressive then girls.
If you were raised with a brother, how did your parents treat you compared to them? Most girl friends I have say their parents were much stricter with them then they were with their brothers (both younger and older) because (either consciously or subconsciously) they felt girls needed to be more protected.
If you are raising kids of both sexes, is there a difference in how you speak to/discipline/entertain them?
Re: Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
Congratulations!!
My sister and I are both chick breeders--6 girls between the two of us--so I have no input on raising girls vs. raising boys.
Re: Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
well i am new to this myself considering i was raised with a sister and my first 3 children were girls but now i have two sons the oldest is two. Let me tell you there is a huge differnce in him from the girls even at this young age and i swear i don't treat him differntly then the girls if anythin gi baby him more but he is rough and tumble he climbs thngs throws and i defintly not a girl. so i think there is a lot to be said for nature guiding our gender.
Re: Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
Yayyy another boy around here!!!
I have 1 son and 2 daughters. My son (8)is sensitive, likes to read, and play on the computer. He has tons of cars and trucks, but couldn't care less about playing with them. However, my youngest daughter (5) is a tomboy and my oldest daughter (11) is a girly girl. We have never treated, desiplined, or spoke differently to any of them. They are all equal in our eyes. So, I don't think it is what sex that you have, they will still be theirselves in the long run.
Re: Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
I only have girls so I cant say, but congratulations!!
I thin the best parenting advice, no matter what child you have, is to be responsive to their needs. With as few preconceived ideas as possible. No matter what you have panned the will take you by suprise!! Love them and pay attention to them, thats about it really.
Re: Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
I used to believe that people where crazy when they said there was a difference between girls and boys. Well let me tell you, if the boy would have been first, there would be NO girl. He would have ruined it for any other child even thought of. He would have been an only child.
Believe me there IS a difference! He is not bad, don't get me wrong, but he is very, very, busy. Like 24/7. Very wearing, but also very loving. Mommy's boy after all.
Re: Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
It seems that my little guy is more of a daredevil and into all things dirty. He's not afraid of bugs, getting dirty, or climbing really high and jumping (yeah, he's only 17 months). My daughter loves fishing but freaks out at bugs and doesn't like having her hands dirty.
I wasn't raised any different aside from the fact that I used to sneak out. The differences in the way my parents raised myself and my brother were mainly personality differences. I was much more extroverted and he was more introverted.
Both of my kids are total extroverts, so I'm much more protective of them (I have to constantly remind my daughter that just because she met someone at the store doesn't mean that she should give out our address and phone number).
It's no harder to raise a boy than a girl (my daughter whines about everything when she doesn't get her way...my son just ignores you and does whatever anyways). Just a bit different.
But, you could have 2 girls and have them be night and day.
Don't freak out about raising a boy in a world where they want him to be tough. I want my son to know compassion and responsibility. I won't stop him from crying and I don't believe in "making" him tough. I do believe in encouraging him to be whoever he is. Same goes for my daughter.
But, I've never been one to follow "rules" anyways. ;)
Congrats on your soon-to-be-held baby boy.
Re: Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
Some fundamental difference to raising boys over girls would be how they learn, Especially if you are in North America, teaching your son will be more difficult as the education system is much more geared toward how girls learn then boys.
Boys learn far more by doing, they need the hands on, get them toys that do stuff, things they have to figure out,
The reason boys play lego and girls play with Barbie is not the stereo type that girls want to make things pretty, it is because girls like to make believe more then boys do, keep this in mind when getting toys.
You really want to encourage new languages early on in a boy, it is good with both boys and girls, but boys tend to take longer to develop language skills, so introducing languages early on will help them later in school.
If you are worried about raising your boy tough or what have you, I would not fret about it, the requirement for boys to be tough is not the case today, discourage him from crying when hurt, but encourage him to share his feelings. you don't want him crying in gym class, but you do want him to know how to express himself when he breaks up with his first girl friend.
There are a lot of great books about raising boys, and the challenges faced by parents who want their boys to do well despite the flawed education system.
Re: Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Stephen
If you are worried about raising your boy tough or what have you, I would not fret about it, the requirement for boys to be tough is not the case today, discourage him from crying when hurt, but encourage him to share his feelings.
I don't know if I would ever discourage any child from crying when hurt /:O
Re: Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
[quote=Laylas;1543003]I don't know if I would ever discourage any child from crying when hurt /:O[/q
My children still believe kisses heal all. Ahhh to be young again.
Re: Raising a boy vs. raising a girl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Laylas
I don't know if I would ever discourage any child from crying when hurt /:O
There is a difference between Hurt and injured
when you are a child a skinned knee is something to cry about, when in reality it is something to get over and go back to playing. now a broken foot let them cry.
I coach highschool wrestling, both boys and girls, and I tell you the "kids" that cry when hurt are much harder to coach then those who don't, the time wasted getting over the emotional build up from the bruise is valuable play time.
EDIT: off topic
Laylas, I notice you are from NC, is that North Carolina? mind suggesting a club near Pine Hurst I might visit in August?